Thirty

Liz

Iwas laid out on his table, naked and exposed, with his eyes on me like searing rays that heated my insides in the hungriest way. I felt hot all over and he hadn't even started. When he suddenly dropped to his knees and stared into my eyes, my heart raced with excitement. He didn't break eye contact as his tongue ran across my slit, eliciting a hissed moan as I tried to hold it in.

He said he wanted to hear me, to be loud, and I agreed, but now I found myself feeling self conscious about my sounds. Before, I had the excuse of trying not to wake anyone, but here, there was no one to wake. My thoughts were immediately broken, losing my inhibitions as he sucked at my clit while inserting his middle finger inside of me. I moaned louder than before, biting my lip to keep myself from screaming.

Brian knew me inside and out, noting the way I was holding back. There was a fire behind those blue eyes as he started licking and sucking while pushing against the walls of my center to coax more sounds out of me. He was doing his best to get me to yell, and I knew before the night was over that I would. My heels dug into the edge of the table as he ate me where he ate all his meals.

Brian inserted his index finger along with his middle, rubbing my inner walls in a come here motion as he flicked his tongue over my tender clit. A groan of pleasure escaped me as he had my back arching and my hips bucking. I could see stars floating as I teetered on the edge, needing a release so badly. I grabbed the hair on the top of his head and fisted it, pulling it closer to me as I ground my pussy against his face.

His arms wrapped around my thighs with his hands gripping me tight, keeping my legs spread for him.

"Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck!" I yelled as I felt myself climaxing, quickening the speed of my grinding until I tensed in a strong orgasm. My breathing was rapid as I held my breath for too long during my climax, causing me to feel light-headed as I tried to catch my breath.

"I'm not done with you yet, Lizzie."

He didn't waste any time, dragging me by my ankles until my legs were around his waist, his hands on my ass and my body tight against his. The head of his cock pressed against my slicked entrance as he walked us to his living room. It teased at me, stirring me up as if I hadn't just orgasmed all over his mouth.

Brian placed me on my feet beside the couch with a look in his eyes that screamed he wanted a hard fuck. My pussy throbbed with need, wanting to be filled with his thick cock.

"Sorry," he whispered in my ear before grabbing my hair in his fist and lightly tugging. He turned me around so fast, my head spun, causing me to fall forward when he pushed. My feet lifted off the ground slightly as I was bent over the arm of the couch. The smell of fabric softener wafted into my nose as my face pressed against the cloth cushion.

The warmth of Brian's saliva surprised me as he ran his tongue over the ass cheek he was squeezing. I let out a louder moan as I found myself grinding against the couch. Brian's rough hands parted my legs, inserting his dick with ease at a very slow place. He buried himself deep inside me inch by inch, staying there for a moment.

"This'll be rougher than before. If you need me to stop, tap out on the couch. Do you understand, Lizzie?" His voice in my ear sent goosebumps running down my spine and a warmth to further pool in my lower abdomen.

"Tap out. Got it." I felt half present as I spoke, my mind more fixated on what was about to happen and how good it would probably feel.

Brian's hand slid down my hair until he wrapped the ends around his knuckles and tugged back, causing me to lift my head back to alleviate the pain from my scalp. Without remorse, or any further warning, Brian slammed into me over and over without mercy. My ass and my breasts were bouncing all around as my hips dug into the arm of the sofa.

A hard slap to my right ass cheek followed by a deep inhale through his teeth had me yelling with sensual gratification. The more he slammed into me, the harder he tugged back on my hair until I felt as if I were literally bending backwards for him. His other hand massaged my ass in a way that had me grinding with a ferocious hunger. He was thrusting so viciously, his hips were starting to dig into my ass. I was ready to feel him cum when he suddenly stilled, surprised when he let go of my hair.

With his dick still inside of me, he wrapped my legs around his hips, pressing me further into the couch as he pounded into me harder and harder until I really was screaming. He reveled in my screams, grabbing my ass hard at times as he massaged it in his large hands.

"God, I love the way you scream, Lizzie," he groaned, his voice so sultry it almost didn't sound like him. I wanted to hear that voice more, to hear him tell me how good I felt or how much he was enjoying this.

Feeling bold after his admission, I yelled out "harder," because I must be some kind of masochist. He was so deep inside me, his dick would graze my cervix, at times hitting it and sending a wave of pain and pleasure through me. Brian let out this sound that I could only describe as a mixture of a singular chuckle and a groan. His voice heated me further, making me feel like some feral cat in heat as I humped the couch, rubbing my clit against the soft fabric.

"Oh, fuck. Brian!" I yelled his name the way he wanted me to, the way he hoped to hear it, tensing on his dick as I reached my peak for the second time. My body shook as he continued to slam into me, running his tongue sensually over my spine.

I waited, expecting him to come when he let out this deep chuckle. "We're only getting started, Lizzie. I'm taking advantage of it just being you and me here. We're making up for the years we wouldn't have missed out on if I would have had the balls to tell you I loved you sooner."

My eyes bulged in surprise as I looked at him over my shoulder, seeing his eyes full of love and a hungry lust. I wasn't sure how much more my poor little cunt could take, but I was excited to find out. He was right. There was this big part of me that wanted to stay here with him, holed away, to make up for the time we lost. I didn't regret being with Lyle. They were the happiest twenty years of my life, and I was lucky that I could look forward to happy years again with Brian.

Although I loved Lyle with all my heart and wouldn't trade our time together for anything, I knew the years to come with Brian would be the absolute best. Now I only had to let go of Lyle, finally say goodbye to him like I should have at his funeral.

It's time for me to let go.

Brian fucked me well into the night, giving me breaks when I started to cramp up or felt like I just couldn't take it anymore. He fucked me on his kitchen counter, in his room, in his shower…hell, he even fucked me pressed against the glass of his backyard's sliding door. That one got me really hot and bothered.

The man had stamina like I'd never seen before, breaking a sweat but never tiring. I didn't think I'd ever orgasmed so many times in a span of eight hours. It was a night I would never forget, and a promise of what was to come. I knew what I had to do now, and I planned to do it today, but first, there was someone I needed to see.

"I love you, Brian," I whispered as I woke up first, kissing his scratchy stubble along his jawline. He smiled happily, squeezing my naked body against his with his eyes still closed.

"I love you, Lizzie. I know you have to go, but I wish you didn't." He kissed my forehead, holding me for a second longer before releasing me. "What's the plan for today? And can I join?"

"Of course you can join. The kids have actually been asking for you, mainly Milo, anyway. We're going to the store this afternoon to buy supplies to make our own ugly Christmas sweaters. Elle is making her cinnamon waffles and bacon for dinner, and we'll all watch a Christmas movie wearing our sweaters."

Brian's smile widened as he met my gaze. "That sounds amazing. I'll be there."

"You better be!" I return the smile, kissing his lips before getting off the bed.

I could feel his eyes on me as I put my bra and shirt on. Brian had thrown my clothes around, so I knew my underwear was in the living room and my pants in the dining room, but my shoes were in here. My legs were sore as I stood, knowing they would be like that for a few days. He might be physically fit, but I was far from it, and last night really took it out of me.

"Hey, Lizzie?" he called out to me as I reached the door. Peering over my shoulder, I found him propped on his elbow, his eyes suddenly gleaming with concern.

"Yeah?" I worried for what was to come, for the metaphorical shoe to drop.

"I'm sorry about the emails."

I could tell it was eating at him, even though he had poured his heart out in his responses. I read them all, torn between going to him right away and letting him do what he needed. It was my hope that by letting him finish, he would feel better about it too, since my talk with Elle had already convinced me to forgive him.

Needing to make him forgive himself, I ran back to the bed and jumped on top of him. Straddled over his torso, I stared down at him intensely, wanting him to understand the seriousness in which I spoke my next words. "I know you are. You're already forgiven, Brian. There's nothing you need to be sorry about anymore. You're off the hook, so punk up and roll it off your shoulders the way you used to. You know good and well that he would have forgiven you the moment you replied to any of his emails, so don't you dare tear yourself up about it. Got it?" I pointed my finger at him, my left eyebrow raised sternly.

He grabbed my finger and pulled me down so that my face was inches from his own. "Got it," he whispered, crashing his lips against mine. "You better go before I start up again." He pressed his groin against me, letting me feel his morning wood.

I screamed as I jumped off and giggled away as I searched for the rest of my clothes. Brian walked me out once I was fully dressed, kissing me a few more times before opening the front door and walking me to the truck.

Once I was in the confines of the pickup with my window rolled down, freezing my ass off, Brian smirked at me with a mischievous look in his eyes. "I'll see you this afternoon. I'll come early to talk with Milo and Lil, if that's okay with you."

"Um, yeah. But what are you telling my kids?"

"You'll see." He sprinted away as he chuckled, knowing I couldn't chase after him in time.

I bit my cheek, trying not to smile at his antics. I knew nothing he had to say to my kids would be bad, but I hated not being in the know. The curiosity of it would kill me all day.

Taking a deep breath, I headed for the last place I thought I would ever go — the Foster's place. However, after seeing that email when I went through Lyle's things, there was no way I couldn't go and speak with his father. Lex Foster was a man of few words, having hardly interacted with me, only ever standing by Val's side. It was my assumption that he felt the same way as her, but it would appear I was wrong this whole time.

The black wrought-iron gate leading to their place came into view, and I punched in the code I knew back in high school, hoping it hadn't changed. To my delight, the gates swung open with a creaking protest, allowing me to enter. Driving up to their mansion, I parked on their circle driveway in Lyle's old spot, closest to their fountain. Sometimes I forgot how rich they were, and how Lyle had grown up with all these material things but still felt so empty inside.

Needing strength and a reminder as to why I was here, I pulled up his email again, reading over it once more. Help me out here, Lyle.

I'm Sorry

Lex Foster

08/13/2011

Hey, son.

I know you probably don't want to hear from me after the way your mother acted. It's been a few years now since you married Elizabeth. A few years to miss you and reflect on the way your mother and I treated you. I placed too much pressure on you to be perfect when I shouldn't have. You were young, and I should have let you enjoy your youth rather than try to dictate your life.

Your mother, of course, disagrees and is too proud to apologize, but she misses you too. I know that it would be hard for you to trust me again and accept my apology, but I wanted you to know how sorry I am. I am sorry to you and to her. Please tell Elizabeth that. Tell her I am so sorry for allowing Val to treat her so terribly. She's my wife, and I have to support her, the same way I am sure you support your wife.

I love you, son, and I truly hope that you have found happiness with Elizabeth and my granddaughter. She's beautiful, Lyle. I hope to meet her some day.

Your very sorry father.

Lyle had opened it, read it, and even drafted a reply, but he never sent it to him. He was probably too torn up to do so. Sending a reply to his father was a way to let him in again, but to also let in his mother. I think it was that part that had held him back. His mother scared him more than he cared to admit. It was her acceptance he craved the most, but also hated her for making him feel that way.

I needed Lex to know that Lyle read it, and I wanted him to read the response he would have sent. Lyle was gone, but it didn't mean that Lex didn't deserve this closure. Although, by the way he let Val speak to me at the funeral, I wondered why I was doing this at all.

It didn't appear as if he disagreed with her, but the more I thought about it, the more I noticed the way he held her back. Remembering it now, I recall the way he held his head down, the way he avoided my eyes and guided his wife out of the house before Elle kicked them out.

In his own way, he was trying to help, but he loved his wife, and she was the one he had to return home with. I could understand the fear he felt at the thought of standing up to his wife, probably the same fear Lyle felt.

Taking another deep breath, I spoke the mantra Lyle instilled in me.

One: You got this.

Two: You can do this.

Three: Fuck anyone who says you can't.

My feet felt heavy as I willed them to move to the black door of my nightmares…quite literally. For a while after meeting Lyle's parents, I would have nightmares of coming here, knocking on the black door and being dragged inside, to be murdered by Val on their table. My imagination was wild in high school, probably from the anime and horror movies I watched.

My hand shook as I lifted it, ringing the doorbell with my heart thudding loudly inside of me, drowning out all my other senses. Nerves hit my stomach as I waited for the door to be answered. Slowly, the thick wood opened, surprising me as Lex's face peered through. I expected their maid or their fucking butler to open the door, but not him. I wasn't ready for him. In my head, I would have more time to calm my nerves as I waited for Lex in the foyer or something.

The only show of emotion he gave me was the split second his eyes widened before returning to normal. He cleared his throat, stepping outside, rather than inviting me in. I should have seen that coming, but it still hurt. After reading his email to Lyle, I thought he would at least treat me better than Val.

"Let's talk in the garden. I don't want Valorie to see you." He gestured for me to follow, extending his hand out in the direction of the garden, letting me lead the way. I didn't like having him at my back, feeling like at any moment he'd literally stab me between my shoulder blades. I'm too paranoid around them.

I remembered the way to Lyle's favorite spot in the garden, near the cobblestone well at the edge, under the shadiest tree. I took my spot, remembering the first time he brought me here…the time I met his parents.

20 years ago

"They're going to love you. Stop worrying so much." Lyle's smile was bright and confident like always, filling me with assurances I knew I shouldn't believe. If my own parents don't like me, who's to say that his will?

"I doubt it." I wiped my palms over the jeans Elle let me borrow, ones without patches or tears. She wanted me to wear a dress, but there was no way I was doing that. If they didn't like me, they could not like me for me.

"Don't doubt, sweets." He kissed my temple as he stuck the key in his front door. The house was already intimidating enough without the added stress of meeting his parents.

With extreme trepidation, I stepped through the front door, greeted by a grand foyer I'd only seen in the animes I watched with Brian. The anime with the group of boys who were all rich and took in the poor girl who they thought was a boy at first. Yeah, I felt like her right now, only it was just one boy and he already knew I was a girl.

I swallowed down my nerves as I followed Lyle to what I was sure was the den. So many fancy things…breakable, fancy things. My clumsy self stuck to Lyle's side like glue, worried I would break something.

"Mom?" Lyle yelled out, his voice echoing through the grand expanse of his white halls.

"In here!" I heard her yell out, her voice already screaming prim and proper.

If there was one thing I knew about myself, it was that I was anything but lady-like. How could Lyle say that they would like me?

"Mom, I want you to meet someone."

We came around the corner to find three stunning women in sundresses with their hair neatly styled and literal pearls for them to clutch around their necks. One of them actually did so as they took sight of me, only worsening my fears.

"Hello, sweetheart. I currently have company. As you know, it's my women's bible study." The way her smile was glued to her face spoke to the unhappiness she felt at being interrupted. Her eyes flashed to me, and the disdain was so evident, I could feel it in the air. Lyle seemed clueless to it all as he leaned forward and grabbed one of the mini sandwiches on the very cutely laid out display of fine china and flower-patterned dishes.

"I know. We're not staying, just wanted you to see her in person. This is Elizabeth." He pulled me to his side, his large arms bringing me comfort under the scrutiny of these womens' eyes.

I opened my mouth to speak, but found her voice came out before mine could. "I see. Well, we can have a proper meeting tonight for dinner. If you will excuse us."

She waved us both away, cold and distant. Lyle sighed, his eyes filled with hurt, mimicking his mothers forced smile. Whatever this was, it wasn't a family. It was as close to a family as mine was. All appearances, smoke and mirrors, with masks over their faces.

"Have a great bible study, ladies." Lyle tipped his head politely and led me out back to a garden full of trimmed bushes and bright flowers.

"Come on. I'll show you my spot."

He didn't dwell in his disappointment or let me stew in my assumptions as he guided me deep into the garden. Where I had my secret garden with Elle, Lyle had a literal garden, one to himself. It felt lonely, and my heart broke for him, causing me to wrap my arms around his waist from behind and hold him tight. He sunk into me, grabbing my arms in front of him and hugging them back.

"You know me too well now, don't you, sweets?"

Present

"I never expected to see you here again." Lex turned to me, keeping all his emotions hidden. This man was trained to keep a mask up twenty-four hours a day, every day. Not once had I seen him smile, scowl, or even cry. All his emotions were guarded better than Alcatraz.

"I never expected to be here." Exhaling heavily and ridding myself of the last of my nerves, I got right to the point. "There's something I feel you should read, and I wanted to give you at least that peace." The mask broke for a moment as his brows moved a centimeter towards each other. "It's from Lyle," I explained, handing him my phone with the opened email. I was pretty sure I had it memorized at this point, picturing the words clearly in my mind as Lex mouthed them to himself.

Draft

Hey, dad.

I can't tell you how much I had hoped a message like this would come my way. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't hoped it was mom to do it. You were always so complacent to her, like a dog on a leash. I hated you for it, but I think I get it…at least a little. I would do anything for Liz, absolutely anything. But as a father of two now, I couldn't see myself allowing her to treat our children the way mom treated me.

I wish you would have stood up for me, would have stood up for Elizabeth. Reading your apology was something I didn't know I needed, and I wish so badly that I could forgive you completely. I would love to have my father back in my life, to have you and mom. But I can't do that, because I know that you will follow along with whatever mom says, and until she's the one apologizing, I can't open this door back up.

Liz has brought me a happiness so profound that I refuse to go back to those dark days. I refuse to place that mask on my face for mom's sake. I wish you could see that, too, see how terrible it is to keep that mask on. You should feel joy, feel sadness, feel free to fucking feel. It's okay to be mad and yell, to be sad and cry, to be happy and laugh even if it isn't at the right time.

I hope that one day you learn this and you show mom this. I pray every night that God softens her heart and she learns to let go of these expectations she has for everyone…for herself. Here's hoping it happens soon.

I love you, dad. I hope you can see what mom has turned you into isn't something you should be. Take control, dad, make her listen. Maybe one day we can all be that happy family that has Sunday lunches after church, having your grandchildren run around the garden and laugh and play while you and mom look at them with love and admiration, instead of critical eyes full of disappointment.

One day, right?

Your hopeful son.

For the first time since meeting this man, he dropped the act. Silent tears pooled at the corner of his eyes, stopped by his fingers as he collected them before they could run down his cheeks. He handed me my phone without a word, his eyes fixed on his home. For a moment, I thought he would go back inside and this would be it. Instead, he turned his head, stared me dead in the eyes, and stepped toward me. Fear swept over me, worried he'd hit me or slap me across the face for making him read such an email. I was wrong about that too.

"I am so sorry, Elizabeth." Unexpectedly, he wrapped his arms around my shoulders, pinning my arms to my side as he hugged me tight. "I'm going to make this right."

He left me in a stunned state as he sprinted back to his house, leaving me with the sound of his Oxfords echoing in the garden. Blinking away the shock, I shook my head, still reeling from the surprised embrace. Lex was hurting, but when he locked eyes with me earlier, I could see a deep determination in them. Something maybe he allowed me to see, letting his mask down for that brief moment.

How exactly did he plan to make this right?