Fourteen

Liz

"Are you sure it's okay?" I asked the kids for the hundredth time, feeling guilty for going to Frank's house without them.

"Oh, my gosh. Yes. We've already said you can go. Milo is going to help Aunt Elle with Bella, and Addie and I are going out with some friends anyway. It's totally fine." Lil rolled her eyes, getting frustrated with me for feeling guilty, I guess.

"Milo, are you positive you want to help Aunt Elle with that? Birth can be a messy thing, more so with horses." I held his little shoulder, wondering what was going through that little head of his.

"It's going to be awesome!" he exclaimed, oddly excited about it all.

"Okay. Well, you know how to reach me if you need me. I'll be back later, okay?"

"Got it. Go have fun." Lil placed her hands on my back, pushing me to urge me out. "Mom!" she complained as I dead-weighted, leaning back onto her palms. "I'll drop you," she warned with a laugh.

"Alright, alright. I'm going." I stood up straight and made my way out, finding Brian's bike outside. He was waiting for me, leaning against it with his leather jacket and his hair slicked back in a neat way. "No mohawk for old time's sake?"

"Never again. Too much upkeep."

I laughed as he handed me my helmet with a sweet smile. I climbed on behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist happily and leaning my head against his back. He drove carefully through town, with the sun setting behind us and the wind whipping in my hair.

Frank's house was just outside of town, in an even smaller town called Mulberry. He had a single-wide trailer that sat on a few acres of land with no neighbors for miles. I was sure he had his reasons for wanting to be away from people. I was just excited to see this other side of him that everyone spoke about. To me, he was just this giant, stoic man — always serious, always sober, and a tad bit intimidating.

According to Brian, I was in for a treat, but I never imagined it would be this great. Frank was sitting on his porch with a wide grin. His long beard, which was speckled with grays, rested just above his stomach. He held his woman's hand, and in the other, his fingers were curled around his beer. My eyes spotted the gauze on top of his head first, which only meant one thing.

"Holy shit!" Mason blurted as he hopped out of his faded blue ‘59 Chevy truck. His eyes were wide and his smile even wider as he approached his friend with his hand outstretched, itching to touch it.

"Your head?!" Zayden practically screeched, taking his helmet off and hanging it from the handle of his bike.

"Oh, you are so going to regret this in the morning." Jaysen hopped out of Mason's passenger side with an amused smirk, shaking his head at Frank.

"I tried to talk him out of it, but you know how he gets. He wanted to prove a point to Hawk," his woman explained, showing concern for her guy.

"Who's Hawk?" I whispered to Brian as we made our way up to the porch behind Mason.

"He's the new leader of the biker gang that Frank used to run." I coughed, choking on my own saliva from the unexpectedness of it all. Brian only chuckled at me, lightly patting my back to help.

The evening was nice, easy, and exactly the kind of fun I needed. We all laughed together, especially at the wings that Frank now had inked onto his scalp for the rest of his life. The guys made jokes at his expense of course, asking why he didn't just tattoo a halo instead.

"You've gone from bald to bold, Frank. And here I thought my mohawk back in the day was something to behold," Brian laughed, a deep throaty sound that tingled inside me, making me quiver.

I told him I wasn't ready for a relationship, because I wasn't sure I really was. All I knew for sure was that the kids weren't ready, and that was enough for me to hold off. But I guess not completely, seeing as I couldn't stop wanting to kiss him. It was addicting. He was addicting, just like he had always been.

"I guess we now know what happens when you mix alcohol and a spontaneous desire to fly!" Mason joined in, slapping his knee like he was the funniest guy around.

"Frank, I hope you're ready for all the attention. You're going to be the bald angel of the town," Jaysen chimed, grinning at the big guy.

"I look good. Y'all are just jealous you can't fly like me." Frank hiccupped, clearly still intoxicated.

"Oh, Frank, no. Remember I told you those aren't real. Baby, you can't fly." His woman placed her hand on his forearm, tapping it lovingly.

We all burst into laughter, seeing an opportunity for something hilarious.

"Why don't you show us your flight skills, Frank?" Zayden baited him, to which Frank was quick to bite.

"Be ready to be amazed."

Frank wobbled as he stood, holding his arms out to steady himself. His eyes were fixed ahead of him as if he were plotting his flight plan. We all watched in amusement, waiting for the big lug to do something. His woman absolved herself of the whole thing, wiping her hands against each other with a mumble of, "I tried to warn you. This one is on you."

Frank ran at full speed like a bull, leading with his head as if it really would sprout wings and lift him up. Unsurprisingly, the big oaf tripped over his feet, landing headfirst onto the hard terrain with a loud grunt and a "dammit." We all laughed so hard we cried.

"He ain't no angel. He's a bald eagle. Maybe next time he'll get a matching beak!" Zayden yelled out, clutching his sides as we all cried in laughter.

Things kept up like that until Brian told everyone to go home and let Frank be. The night had brought the cold October air with it, leaving me chilled to the bone. Without my having to ask, Brian draped his jacket over me.

"You look better in it anyway." He winked at me, fluttering my heart, bringing it back to life once more.

I held him tight, pressing my chest against his back to hold the warmth between us. He would refuse to admit it, but he was cold. I could see it by the raised hairs on his arms and the small bumps on his skin. There was no way he would take his jacket back even if I offered. He wasn't like that. Always the chivalrous Brian.

It was dark and oddly quiet when we arrived at Elle's. Lil told me that she and Addie would be spending the night at their friend Kim's house. Elle approved, so I knew Kim must be a safe choice. I only sent Lil a little thumbs up emoji, thanking her for letting me know.

"Thank you. I needed that." I handed him the helmet, feeling at ease. It had been almost a year since I felt this light and airy. Almost a year without him. Four more months.

"Thought you might. Want me to come back tonight and climb through your window?"

The offer was tempting, but I knew it would be pretty stupid to accept. "I don't know, Brian. I want to kiss you too much and kissing on a bed only leads to more."

"I'll keep my hands to myself. Well, with the exception of the one that will be holding yours." He smiled that charming smile of his, one he must have developed after high school. It was hard to deny him when he looked like that.

"Fine, but no kissing." I pointed my finger at him, seeing him nod with that smile still on his face. "I'm serious!"

"No kissing. I got it." He held his hands up in surrender.

"Okay, good. Now take your jacket so you're not cold anymore. If you want me to keep it, you can bring it back with you later."

"Oh, you can count on that, Lizzie. I'd give you every item of clothing I owned if you'd take it. You make my clothes look so sexy."

I let out a small laugh, shaking my head at him. "Definitely, but I look better without any clothes on."

I threw his jacket at him, landing it over his face so I could run inside before he saw my red cheeks. I can't believe I said that. My heart was hammering, thundering against my rib cage as I leaned back against the front door. After a moment, I collected myself, standing on my slightly wobbly knees, and making my way to the stables. The light from the stables told me they were still out here and Bella must still be going through it.

"Isn't she beautiful?" I heard Elle as I came around the corner, seeing Milo leaning against his aunt's side. She had her arm over him, pulling him close as they both stared at the foal. It tried to stand, but it stumbled, legs still too weak, too new. It made me think of myself and how I was handling things with Brian.

It was all new to me. For twenty years it was just Lyle. He was the only man I dated, married, slept with, the whole deal. Now I was going through it with Brian and finding my footing in it all. I thought switching things with him would be awkward, but aside from the times I have made it that way by trying to avoid him, it hadn't been.

Brian was ensuring I wouldn't run and close myself off to him. He didn't let things stay awkward, pushing for me to see him, to talk to him. Maybe soon I'll be able to stand on my own again.

I need to move out of Elle's soon.

"How was it?" I asked Milo, seeing him turn to give me the widest smile.

"It was so gross, but also really awesome! I'm sorry you went through so much pain to have me." He jumped on me, allowing me to hold him.

"Thanks, Bud, but it was well worth it!" I booped his nose, wrinkling mine as his eyes stared into mine. "Let's get you to bed now that it's all done."

"Awe!" He pouted, but by the way he rested his head against my chest, I knew he was tired.

I mouthed a thank you to Elle before heading inside. Milo was dragging as he changed into pj's, clearly exhausted and fighting it. I tucked him in, pushing aside his curls to kiss his forehead.

"Goodnight, baby."

"Goodnight, Mom."

**Song suggestion: All Through the Night by Sleeping At Last**

Liz

He's asleep now. See you soon?

The light brush of butterfly wings against my stomach sent my heart into a frenzy. I was giddy and nervous for Brian to come, but I needed to calm myself. I couldn't sleep with him, not yet, anyway.

Brian

See you soon.

Brian

I may be bringing more than a jacket. ;)

I didn't even notice I was smiling as I read his texts until I caught my reflection in the mirror. I brushed at my hair, trying to tame it after two motorcycle rides. When I finished, he was knocking at my window with more than his jacket, as promised.

"Here. I thought it would be nice if you would wear it to bed." He handed me a dark blue shirt with the word Army in the front and Walker on the back. I pressed my lips together as I stared at it, feeling the light flutter of butterfly wings turn into a storm of nerves.

"Is this to try to get me to change in front of you?" I arched a brow, teasing him as best I could.

"I mean…I wouldn't mind. But also you do have a bathroom right there in the corner of the room." He pointed, reminding me of the ensuite I had. Heat crossed my chest, traveling up to my cheeks, staining them pink. Brian let out a breath of amused air as he grazed his knuckles against my now-crimson face. "You're beautiful when you blush."

Oh, he knows what he's doing.

"Be right back." I took the shirt from him, running to the bathroom with my breathing erratic. I closed the door behind me, finding myself leaning against it for support. The image of the foal trying to stand raced to my mind again, feeling as if my legs were too weak to carry me at the moment.

I felt out of breath, excited and nervous all at once as I changed, stopping as I got to my bra. Do I leave it on? Or do I take it off? My fingers fumbled with the clasp, deciding whether to undo them or not. I should keep it on.

Finally, I slipped the shirt over my head, seeing it rest right below my hips. If I lifted my arms, most of my ass would peek out, but I was sure he'd seen more the night he came to my rescue. I was positive he had seen my tattoo, the one I got to spell out to Lyle what I wanted.

I loved the man, but he was the worst with subtle hints. One day I just got fed up with it and had it tattooed across. That shit hurt more than labor, but it got the job done. He kissed it all better, or so he would say.

"You okay?" Brian's knock on the door snapped me back to reality. "You don't have to wear it if you don't want to. You could just—"

He stopped talking when I opened the door as his eyes raked over my body, soaking me in. His mouth parted slightly as if he was in awe of me. It took everything in me not to shut the door again and hide. I was a very confident woman, but with him, I was acting like a shy little virgin. It was confusing the absolute hell out of me.

"Sorry. I was too in my head," I admitted, stepping past him and making my way to the bed.

"Why are you in your head, Lizzie?"

"Because it's you, Brian."

I didn't look at him as I spoke, sliding under the covers and facing the window. I heard his shoes come off, dropping one at a time to the floor. The clang of metal told me he was taking his belt off. And then the sound of a zipper opening told me his pants had come off, too. I held the covers tight against me as if safeguarding myself. The sinking of the mattress behind me alerted me to his presence before the warmth of his body did.

"Exactly, Lizzie. It's me. There's nothing to be in your head about around me," he whispered, nestling behind me until he was spooning me perfectly. My breath hitched as my barely-covered ass pressed against his groin.

"It's been eighteen years, Bry. We're not the same, and I can promise you after two kids, neither is my body."

"You're right. We're better now. Stronger. But the important stuff is still the same. My values, my love, my humor. The way I know you and you know me. That hasn't changed one bit." His breath tickled my neck as he spoke, molding into me like clay. "And your body, Lizzie…don't even get me started."

I couldn't help the little giggle that left me as he almost purred, placing his hand on the base of my thigh for a moment. It was a moment too long as my body heated with need.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

He kissed my shoulder, which I didn't expect. I had discovered with Lyle that my shoulder was my weak spot. A kiss to that spot from behind stirred me with love and desire. Lyle had been the only one to do that, and now — without knowing what it meant — Brian had done the same.

My heart was pounding, beating so hard against my chest I wasn't sure I was going to make it. I squeezed his hand closer to me, stupidly pressing the back of his palm against my breast. It only further stirred my craving, making me sweat with nerves. I was anxious, filled with desire, and mixed with turbulent emotions that did not help.

Gulping down, I tried to ignore it, shutting my eyes tight. It was hopeless, as my body was so hyper aware of him and the fact that there was a willing male in my bed. My wicked body pressed its ass further against Brian's pelvis, just letting it sit there. The action was met by a kiss to the nape of my neck, causing me to take a deep breath of arousal.

How did he know exactly where to kiss me to drive me wild?

"Brian?" I asked, hearing him hum in response as his nose grazed along my neck as light as a feather. "I am not ready to move on. It doesn't feel right."

"I know, Lizzie. I am not asking you to. I just want you to know that when you're ready, I am here."

"But, Brian?"

"Yes, Lizzie?" He kissed my neck this time, sending a shiver down my spine.

"You need to stop. I haven't had sex with anyone since Lyle, and that was a little over seven months ago."

Brian froze, pulling his head away first and then his body, but I wouldn't let go of his hand. I told him to stop, but I wished I wouldn't have. It felt so nice to be held and kissed lovingly again.

"I'm sorry."

I kept my back to him, deciding I couldn't look at him as I asked my next question. "Will you be my first after Lyle, even if I am not ready to be in a relationship just yet?"

Silence.

Oh, shit.