Thirteen

Brian

"Hi. I'm here for Mrs. Dean's class. Brian Walker." I tapped on the counter of the desk as I waited for my visitor's pass.

I wasn't sure how to face Milo after the kiss I shared with Lizzie yesterday. It replayed in my head repeatedly since then, plaguing me with the need for more. I wanted all of her. Always.

"Here you go. I think it's sweet what you're doing for the poor kid. He's had it rough, what with some of these other children here picking on him." The woman shook her head disapprovingly, causing her dark, coffee-colored hair to fall from its clip. "She's down the hall, second to last room."

With her hair clip now in her mouth and her hands in her hair, she gestured with her head for me to exit through the other office door leading inside the school. I gave her a curt nod, making my way to Mrs. Dean's classroom, unsure of what I would find there. I wanted to do right by Milo, needing to make things easier on him.

I spotted Mrs. Dean's name plaque by a dark wooden door decorated with small hand prints scribbled with their respective student names. I knocked rather loudly, hearing the loud chatter inside. Stupid me overslept, having gone to bed too late with thoughts of Lizzie and how badly she might have been spiraling.

A small face opened the door cautiously, her big blue eyes meting mine as she opened the door further. "Who are you here for?" She asked in a not-so-polite way. Unsure if that was a her thing or a normal ten-year-old thing, I ignored the sass she threw into her tone.

"They told me the coolest kid is in this class. Have you seen him? His name is Milo," I asked her, seeing her sneer so blatantly. Even I knew how to keep my face in check at her age. Was it mean to call a small child a bitch? Cause she was totally being one.

"Who told you that? He's not cool." She closed the door behind me, pointing to the back corner where Milo sat alone.

I strode in his direction, watching him as he stared out the window, unaware I was here. He seemed lost in thought, no frown, no smile, just a sort of peace on his face. The sun shone on his lightly-tanned skin, radiating against his golden undertone, just like his father's. Milo would definitely have the good looks his father had, no doubt in my mind about it. Little Suzy Q over there would eat her words when they were in high school and this kid turned out to be a popular guy.

"Hey, Bud." I tapped on his desk lightly with my fingertips, breaking his concentration. At first I felt bad for disrupting his peace, but then he flashed me an excited grin and the feeling vanished.

"You came!" he shouted, but against the other chatty kids you could barely hear it.

Grown men filled the room, crouching by their children's desks, awaiting instructions. I saw some familiar faces and some not-so-familiar, but I tried to keep my attention on Milo. That wasn't to say their attention stayed on their own kids as they looked our way curiously.

"Of course I came. I wouldn't miss this!" I smiled back at him, loving the twinkle in those hazel eyes…his mother's eyes. They reminded me of the way she used to smile at me as a kid — just as excitedly. "But, uh…what are we waiting on?"

I squatted beside him, hiding my mouth behind my hand as I asked him. Mrs. Dean was at the front with Susie Q, talking about something or the other. She gave the appearance of someone who didn't care that she had a room full of people waiting on her.

"I think we're waiting on Molly's dad. He's supposed to bring the wood for us. George's dad brought the table saw and put it outside already. Did you bring any tools?" he asked, searching my body.

"Tools?" I questioned, seeing his eyes flicker with worry momentarily. "I'm just joshing you, buddy. They're in my trunk. Didn't think they'd let me in with dangerous tools."

Milo bounced in his seat with excitement, meeting my gaze again. The boy had no trouble with eye contact. "Awesome! Have you ever built anything before? My dad wasn't so good with his hands, but he made the best forts."

My heart sank for him, hating how he only got ten years with his father, three of which he wouldn't even remember. Lyle was shit at building things, fixing them, or even understanding the basics of a good fort. I had taught him how to build one when we randomly got on the topic of pillow forts one day.

"The secret to a good fort is all about—"

"Imagination," we said in unison, causing his eyes to widen further.

"The perfect balance between comfort and—"

"Adventure!" Again we spoke at the same time. Milo seemed to know exactly what I was going to say.

"Are you a mind reader?" I asked him, pretending to believe in such things. He let out a little laugh, shaking his head merrily.

"No. My dad used to say the same thing."

I gave a small nod, tapping my fingers on the desk as I swallowed the sadness. Dammit, Lyle. You should have been taking care of you too, man.

"I taught him that."

"Really?"

I gave him a quick raise of my brows, a little cocky with it. "Yup. Your dad was a mess when I met him."

"Can I have everyone's attention please?" Mrs. Dean interrupted our conversation, finally getting things going.

She instructed us all on what we would be doing and how to get it done. Wood needed to be measured, cut, put together, and then painted. The kids were in charge of the painting and assisting in safe ways. I had Milo come with me to get my tools from my trunk, hearing him chatter away the entire time.

Milo was more like Lyle than I originally thought. He was optimistic, energetic, and very charismatic. In all honesty, it was he who kept our conversations going throughout the whole project. I seriously couldn't understand how he wasn't popular amongst the kids. Maybe he was so out of their league that they felt they needed to bring him down.

"That's when Dad said you were his best friend apart from Mom." Milo dropped that little nugget of information on me as he painted the number 28 — his number — on the side of the fully-constructed booth. The revelation twisted my stomach with guilt, thinking of that beautiful kiss again.

Lizzie's kiss yesterday was everything I'd imagined it would be. Actually, it was more…so much more, almost like tasting heaven. Her lips were plump and soft, and mine just caved right into them. She tasted like marshmallows and regret, but I loved every second of it. My heart soared in that moment, until I saw her face when we finished. She regretted it instantly.

"I guess, aside from your mom, he was my best friend, too."

It wasn't a lie. Lyle had in fact grown to be a good friend. It was me who was the shitty one. I pushed them away, even told him she deserved more than an elopement when he told me they were getting married. He told me she deserved her best friend there. At the end of the day, I didn't show, and she had a courthouse wedding. I didn't speak to either of them after that, not even online, cutting ties when she chose him over me. I fucked myself with my ultimatum.

"Thank you for coming, Brian." Milo showed me his gratitude by extending his hand in hopes of a handshake. It was obvious he was trying to maintain his cool with me, so I took it, shaking it firmly.

"Thanks for having me, Milo. I hope you know I'm here whenever you need me. Never to take your father's place, but to hopefully help fill in the gaps."

He thought my words over pensively before giving me a nod. "In that case, would you like to go to the carnival with me, my mom, and Lily? I think it'd be fun. Oh! Aunt Elle and Addie will be there too!"

"Sounds perfect. But let's double check with your mom." I tapped the edge of my nose with my finger as I stepped back. Lizzie may be too upset with me right now to want me to come to one of the more romantic things this town does.

Despite my realistic nature, hope sprouted in my heart that she'd agree. The carnival used to be our favorite thing growing up. It was still one of mine, too. The shop put up its own booth every year, but I left the guys in charge of it. Without Lizzie, the carnival just didn't feel the same, so I never went anymore. Elle tried to get me to come the first year I moved back, but it was obvious Lane wasn't happy about the extended invitation, so I declined.

I waved at Milo as I left, heading to the car and slipping out before all the parents did. In a few short minutes I was at my shop, staring at Lyle's truck — her truck. Inhaling to the point my lungs felt like they'd burst, I gathered my courage and headed inside.

Would she talk to me about that kiss?

Punching in the code to the employee door, I entered the garage, seeing her legs peek out from under a dark green sedan she was working on. She didn't notice me from her position, allowing me to slip past and enter my office without awkward interaction. In two seconds flat, Mason was knocking on my open door.

"You didn't say hi," he smirked, ready to tease me for his amusement.

"Didn't know you needed me to greet you so often. When did you get so needy?" I retorted, preparing myself for whatever he was about to spew.

"Not me. You didn't greet her." He pointed back with his thumb over his shoulder at Lizzie, who was still under the sedan. He was right. Normally we greet each other the moment the other arrived. Today, for the first time, I was afraid to face her. Fear of her rejecting me after that kiss was causing me to avoid her.

"I'm getting around to it. She looked busy."

"Uh-huh. She looked busy." He rolled his eyes at my lame excuse. "What's going on? Do I need to be worried?"

"Definitely not. Stop worrying about who I greet and get back to work." I shooed him away just as Lizzie rolled out from under the car. Our eyes met across the garage floor, stopping the very fabric of time.

"Mhm. I'll stop worrying about you, when you start acting like a normal human." Mason shook his head in a disapproving manner, but left my office all the same.

So much for having a minute to gather my courage.

Lizzie was striding towards me with her hips swaying confidently, hypnotizing me with her beauty. My eyes fell to her plump pink lips, reminding me of their softness…of their taste. I wanted more, so much more.

"Hey," she greeted me a little awkwardly, stepping inside my office and closing the door behind her. "How'd it go with Milo?"

Right. You're an idiot, Brian. She wants to talk about her child, not your stupid kiss.

"Good. I think he had fun. He's just like Lyle, you know?"

Lizzie smiled, not that bright smile, but the one that told me she was proud of her kid. "Yeah, he is. He's a little chatterbox. I'm so scared about him becoming a teenager, Bry. I'm going to be fighting these girls off him."

"What about Lil? You don't have to fight boys off her?" I arched my brow, because Lily was a pretty girl, and I'd be surprised if she wasn't getting hit on by these immature high school boys.

"She can fend them off herself. I never have to worry about that girl. She's got her head on straighter than anyone I know. She's a miracle." She stepped closer towards me, closing in the space between us.

"No kidding?"

"Nope. She's amazing. Milo, on the other hand, gets carried away with his emotions like me. He bleeds for others, and I'm scared of what that might do to him." She sighed, letting her head hang for a moment as she stared at the floor. More than likely she was imagining Milo being like her, worried he'd self harm like she did.

"We'll be there for him, Lizzie. We know the signs. We could even have him start talking to a therapist before things even get close to that." I grabbed her hand, pulling her towards me so I could hold her tight. She melted into me, pressing her breasts against my chest in a way that made me want to devour her. I've waited so long for her that these moments of tension are almost torture.

"We?" she questioned, always picking up on the small details.

"Yes. We. It doesn't matter if we're together romantically or not, Lizzie. I want to be there for his kids. I owe him that much."

I may have given him shit in high school, but that was only because I was jealous, angry at him for taking Lizzie away from me. In all honesty, he was my best friend…a great friend. An amazing guy with the purest of hearts, so forgiving, so loving. I shouldn't have stopped talking to him…to them.

"Thank you," she whispered, nestling her head further into me.

"Anytime."

I held her for a moment longer, loving the warmth of her body against my own. Her hands trailed each divot of my spine, relaxing me further. Without thinking, I kissed the top of her head, feeling so in sync with her.

I wanted to do more, to kiss her lips again, to love her all over. My heart was hammering at the need to be with her, to be whole inside of her. Every part of my soul, of my being, called to be hers. I need to ask her the hardest question, needing to either be destroyed by her rejection or overjoyed by her acceptance.

"We need to talk about that kiss." I broke the silence, feeling ready for whatever might come. I faced off against bullets, I can handle Lizzie's rejection.

I hope.

"I know, but can that wait for just a second longer? I just need you to hold me for one more minute. Please?"

"Always."

A minute passed, then another, then another, until I held her for almost five. I didn't mind, enjoying every second of it. But with each passing moment, my heart grew hope. Hope that perhaps she would accept me. Hope that I would finally have Lizzie in my life the way I was meant to. Not to mention I kept having to maneuver myself so that she didn't feel my all-too-obvious hard-on for her.

"Okay. I am ready now."

I nodded, letting her go, but holding her eyes. There was a determination in them, something I was a little frightened to see. Please don't leave me alone again.

"Do you want to start? Or should I?"

"I'll go." She stood tall, confident in what she was about to say. "I love you Brian. I've always loved you. The love changed when I was with Lyle, but it was always there. You've always been a part of me. Hell, you have been in almost every memory, every experience I've been through that has made me me. You gave me my confidence. You gave me hope. You kept me alive. Of course I love you."

I swallowed, trying not to cry in front of her. I've dreamt of her saying these words to me a million times, but never did I think I would actually hear them.

"But Bry…" oh God, here it comes. "I don't know that I'm ready to be an us yet. I know the kids aren't ready, and I can't do that to them. It may be asking a lot, but will you wait a little longer for me?"

The breath I'd been holding escaped me in a smile. "All my life, I've waited for you, Lizzie. I would wait the rest of my life if I needed to. You're everything I have ever wanted. Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere."

She smiled so wide, my heart could explode with how full it was. I hadn't felt this good in years. Lizzie had brought back a joy in my life that'd been missing for a long time.

I'm moving on, Sam. I hope you're not mad.

"Thank you. But, um, one more thing?" She leaned forward, holding her finger up in such an adorable way.

"Yeah?"

Without warning, she pressed her delicious lips against mine, pulling all of me towards her. She had my heart, my soul, my everything screaming in happiness, in want. All of me was hers.

My hands landed on her hips, pulling her closer until her entire body was pressed against mine. She wrapped her cold arms around my neck, sending a chill down my spine at their touch.

Today she tasted like cherries and grape soda, some of my favorites. I couldn't help the large grin that spread across as she pulled away, eyes still closed. She was stunning, the way the light radiated off her skin against her glossy hair. She glowed. She's always glowed.

My heart soared, but all my dick wanted to do was bend her over my desk and fuck her until she was so satisfied she wouldn't want anyone else for the rest of her life. There were so many fantasies that I wanted to live out with her, and quite a few involved my shop.

"Is it okay that I did that?" She bit her lip as she stared at me, unsure of her actions.

"That's a joke, right? Because it should be pretty obvious that's more than okay. In fact, I wouldn't mind it if you did it again." I winked at her, seeing her laugh at my antics. Her eyes gleamed with joy again. They were so bright and full of life. I didn't want that to change again.

"Okay. I'll keep that in mind." She opened my door, stopping in my doorway to face me once more. "And just so you know, I wouldn't mind you doing it from time to time either."

She walked with a pep in her step as she got to her work station. I was sure she was trying hard to hide her smile, but I was proudly showing mine. I watched her from my window for a moment, when that knock came at my door again.

"See, you just needed to greet each other. Now you're both happy," Mason chimed, with a proud smirk as if it was all his doing.

"Shut up and get back to work." I threw a paper ball at him, urging him to leave. He chuckled as he made his way back to his work station.

"Hey, Boss. I need to head out for Martha's thing. Are you good with me leaving early?" Frank's shiny head was in my doorway next. My office sure is popular today.

"Of course. But you're not allowed to pass out until we've all seen you tonight."

"You suck. An old man needs his sleep," he grunted, mumbling "but fine," as he left.

Frank was the old man of the shop with quite a history. He was once in a biker gang and Martha was his woman. Every once in a while she liked to go back and visit her sister, whose husband now ran the crew. They lived a few hours away, so Frank would take off early on those days and usually he returned with new ink or a patch on his vest.

We loved when Frank would come back from his visits. He was like a whole other man, so we would always go bother him when he returned.

I should invite Lizzie. She'd love it.