13. Hudson

Chapter Thirteen

HUDSON

Four days later

I stood in the shower, ice-cold water beating down over me. Again. I was still in shock from Stella’s announcement. It changed everything.

Or, maybe it didn’t.

I didn’t even know what I was supposed to do with the detail that she was a virgin, except come to terms with the fact that maybe it ruled out having something casual. We managed not to encounter each other at all over the following three days. I told myself it was by chance on her part.

Work was busy because it always was. Is your work schedule really that busy in the winter? My cynical mind taunted me.

On occasion, we did go out of town for fires in the winter, but there weren’t many to deal with here in Alaska. The town crew handled most of the local calls unless something required multiple crews. Our crew wasn’t even on duty right now. Some were out of town, some were keeping a light schedule, and others, including me, were working out, doing training exercises, and so on.

“Fuck,” I muttered before turning off the water and stepping out of the shower.

As I got dressed, my mind looped back to Stella. Ever since our first kiss, it always circled back to her.

I didn’t want to care that she was a virgin, but I had so many questions. She had already brought me to my knees inside. What I wanted to be uncomplicated now felt complicated. Not just because she told me she was a virgin, but becausethat detail poured gasoline on the fire burning inside.

Distracted, I forgot to check to see if her car was gone before walking upstairs. When I walked into the kitchen, she turned around, her eyes widening when she saw me. Her cheeks flushed pink within a split second. Our eyes connected, and it felt as if there was an electrical current snapping and crackling in the air between us.

I cleared my throat and stuffed my hands in my pockets. “Good morning,” I managed to say.

While I was contemplating what to say next, Stella twisted her hands together, her brow furrowing as she looked over at me. “I probably shouldn’t have said anything about that. I just wasn’t thinking—” She let out a sigh before chewing on her bottom lip. “It’s not a big deal. Me being a virgin, I mean. It’s just I get really anxious. I’m not saving myself or anything. Sex never goes well for me. You don’t seem like an asshole and so I was just making sure you knew the whole situation—” She stopped and shook her head sharply before adding, “I just made it worse. I’m really sorry. How about we pretend that we never kissed, that nothing else happened, and that I never told you that?”

“I’m glad you told me,” I said after a few beats of silence. “I try not to be an asshole.” I paused, attempting to formulate my thoughts into something sensible. “I can’t forget any of it.” Silence stretched like elastic between us. “What do you want?” I finally asked.

Stella’s eyes went wide. She stared at me for so long, I started to get nervous.

“Well, to be perfectly honest, I’d like to not be a virgin anymore. I don’t think I’m officially a virgin. Because, I mean, I have a vibrator,” she added.

My mouth dropped open, and her cheeks went fire-engine red.