14. William

14

WILLIAM

W ater sloshes in the bottles I packed into my bag, along with an old jug I found to haul extra. It should be enough to get everyone hydrated, at least until I can refill before we head out. I’m not sure how long we’ll be here—Emily and Griffin will decide that—but this open ground doesn’t look like a place anyone would want to linger.

Trees and bushes are scarce, offering little protection from animals, rotters, and dregs. We’re sitting ducks out here.

I push myself to move faster, leaping over the corpses of rotters I took down on my way to the stream. It feels wrong to be away from her, even for this long. But I trust Griffin and Max enough to keep her safe. She especially needs us looking out for her after passing out like that. The thought pushes me to move faster. She’s going to need this water when she wakes up.

When she wakes up, I remind myself, thinking that word again. Because she’s going to. I shove back the thoughts creeping up about what would have happened to her if we hadn’t found her when we did .

As I approach our temporary camp, Max comes into view first. He’s balancing on one foot with Buddy by his side, striking down two rotters with raw, unfiltered force. Each swing lands harder than necessary, his face tense, eyes blazing. I’ve seen that look enough times before to know this isn’t the moment to intervene, though; he has his own battles to fight, especially after everything that went down with Nathan.

Just past Max, Emily emerges from the cover of the bushes Griffin carried her into earlier. She’s on her feet, steady and alert, and the sight makes me pause. I’d thought she’d be out for hours, but here she is, already moving.

“Emily,” I breathe, catching her attention.

She stops, glancing over with a look that feels like a punch to the gut—sadness etched deep in her gaze. I hate seeing that look; we’ve all seen enough sadness lately.

I lift the jug, giving it a little shake. “Can I refill your water?”

She nods back toward Griffin, who sits on the ground, looking shattered. It’s obvious their conversation didn’t go the way he’d intended. “Might want to set some aside to clean his wound. He messed it up again.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Did you give him hell about it?”

A quick grin flashes across her face. “I sure did.” But just as quickly, it fades, her expression slipping back to that same sadness. And that—well, I hate seeing that most of all. I don’t know what happened between the two of them, but that’s for them to work out. First, I have a smile to fix.

“Wait here,” I say to Emily before striding over to Griffin, who glances up as I approach. Shrugging the bag full of water bottles off my shoulders, I drop it to the ground in front of him and grab Emily’s empty bottle, refilling it from the jug. I nod to the bag in front of him. “There’s fresh water in there. Clean your wound. I’m going to go take care of our girl. ”

Without wasting a second, I hurry back to Emily. When I reach her, she lifts her head and meets my gaze with a tilt of her head. “What did you say to him?”

“Told him to take care of himself for once,” I answer, placing the full bottle in her hand and slipping my arm around her waist, lifting her into my arms in one effortless motion. “Now it’s your turn.”

“Where are you taking me?” Her hand falls to rest against my chest, and I revel in her touch.

“There’s too much heavy energy around here. The guys can work on their own problems, but I can at least do something about yours.”

She studies me for a second, but doesn’t argue, letting herself lean against my chest, her fingers curling into the fabric of my shirt. The steady beat of her heart, the quiet rise and fall of her breath—all of it calms me in a way I can’t quite put into words. Holding her in my arms like this was something I never thought I would get to do again. This time, I won’t take it for granted.

She doesn’t argue, just wraps an arm around me, holding the bottle close and resting her head against my chest, her breath falling in sync with my racing heartbeat. I tilt my head down to nuzzle my mouth against the top of her head. She’s so soft and fits so well in my arms. I carry her all the way to the stream, setting her gently on a smooth boulder right by the water’s edge, close enough for her to dip her feet in.

The thick silence stretches between us, filling the entire wide-open space. She looks out over the water, her expression distant, lost in thought. I watch her, memorizing everything about her in this moment. The way the early sun catches the lighter flecks in her amber eyes. The slow path of her fingertips tracing along the surface of the boulder. The holes in her clothing that weren’t there last night. Finally, I reach down, splashing water over my hands, the chill biting at my skin while I try to gather the right words.

“Emily,” I start softly, waiting for her to look my way. “I’m sorry it took me so long to get back to you. I thought you’d be out for longer, and clearing out all those rotters between the stream and camp…I wanted to make sure it was safe.”

Ignoring the cold water, I reach in, ready to clean her up. When my hands brush over her skin, I notice the mud and dried blood are gone. Her skin has already been scrubbed clean.

“Griffin already took care of it,” she murmurs, her gaze turning away. She bites her lower lip, as though weighing words she’s not sure she wants to say. This quietness—it’s not her, and I don’t like it one bit. So, I go straight to what I’ve been dying to say since the moment she walked away.

My hands slide a slow path up her shins, fingers curling around her calves. “I’m sorry I didn’t go after you the moment you tried to leave. That’s my biggest regret in my life.” She’s quiet, her lips pursed and her gaze distant when she looks past me out at the water. “We knew better than to trust Nathan, yet we did anyway. We set our trust in a known snake, and all it took him was one minute to tear our world down.” Still nothing. I give a gentle squeeze of her legs, searching her face for something, anything, a sign that she hears me. “I can’t speak for the others, but I know I messed up, and I want to make it right. Please. Tell me how.”

A faint whisper escapes her, and I almost think I imagine it. Almost. “Maybe I deserved it. I kept you all in the dark, after all. None of you deserved that.”

I move closer, dropping to my knees on the rough ground, ignoring the sting of the small stones biting into my shins. I place my hands on her shoulders, needing her focus. She still won’t meet my gaze, so I lift her chin with a soft touch until her eyes finally meet mine. “What you deserve is to be trusted—trusted more than some guy like Nathan. You’ve had our backs since the moment you joined us, and we should have gotten your side first. We should have asked you. There’s so much we should have done differently. I don’t want to make those mistakes again.” I lean in, brushing a soft kiss to the tip of her nose. “Do you think you can ever forgive us?”

Her eyes shift, unfocused, as she considers my words. “I don’t know. However, I’ll take you all to the colony and try to talk to them.” A tear slips down her cheek, and I reach up to wipe it away. “I doubt it’ll do much good. Since I brought Nathan in, they see me as untrustworthy. It’s a mistake I’ll be paying for as long as I live. So, when you didn’t trust me, even for a moment…it hurt. It really, really hurt, William.”

Her voice wavers at the end, almost breaking, and a sharp ache twists in my chest. I didn’t think it was possible to feel worse, but here I am, hitting new depths of feeling like shit. This woman has carried so much alone, and all I’ve done is add to her burden.

Another tear slides down her cheek, and I lean in to catch it with my lips and wipe it away with a kiss. My mouth hovers over her soft skin, my breath causing her to shiver when I whisper. “I’m sorry that happened to you, Emily. And that they still haven’t seen how much you’re worth forgiving. There isn’t a single person on this Earth who deserves a lifetime punishment for trying to help another human being.” I pull back enough to meet her gaze, her eyes wide and shining. “Any place that makes you feel that way sounds like a miserable place to be.”

She lets out a short laugh. More of a huff than anything, but it’s a start. “Well, you’re not entirely wrong,” she says, a faint smile tugging at her lips.

I lift an eyebrow, intrigued. “Tell me more.”

“When I wanted to go out to find insulin for Zoey, not one person offered to come with me. That’s why I went alone. I even overheard a couple of them whispering, saying I wouldn’t come back. The only reason I’m going back there now is for Zoey. Physically, it’s safe there, but being surrounded by people who wish you gone…it wears on you.”

“Em…” My blood boils, her story igniting a fire that I want to use to bring justice. I want to find every single one of these people and make them see what she’s worth. No, better than that. I want to burn the entire colony to the ground. Rid the world of everyone who ever so much as thought one cruel thing about her. My grip tightens around her shoulder, and I take a breath to rein it in, my fingers flexing against her skin.

“But you came after me,” she continues, a soft warmth spreading across her face in the form of a tiny smile. “The three of you—you chased me down in the middle of the night, through a forest and a sea of rotters. Even if…even though the betrayal still stings, I’m so tired of feeling alone, of feeling like no one wants me. It’s been like that so long, to where I’d rather hurt myself before giving someone else the opportunity.” The small smile fades. “I probably did that with Griffin.”

The ache in her voice crushes me. I concentrate on my breathing and calm myself down, so I don’t crush the fragile bones in her shoulder. Then I lean in, kissing her softly, gentle at first and then with a firm tenderness, every ounce of anger and promise woven into it. When I pull away, I cup her face in my hands, waiting for her eyes to focus on me so she catches every word and the intensity of which I mean them. “You are wanted, Emily. So much more than you know. I’ll make sure you feel that every single day, if you’ll let me. Hell, even if you don’t let me—I’m still going to show you, because you’re worth every second.”

A true smile breaks across her face, lighting up her features, and I can’t help but memorize it. The way her eyes crinkle, the hint of brightness that overtakes every trace of sadness until there’s nothing but joy and warmth. Anything that makes her smile is worth remembering.

“I have something for you.” I reach into a small pouch at my side and pull out a makeshift harmonica. It’s rough, but it’ll do for now. “It’s not the best, but I figured you might want to learn to play, if you still want to.”

Her smile only widens. “I’d love to.”

“Good. It’s not as great as the real thing, and I sort of…lost mine. If we can find an abandoned music store, I’ll make sure we get you a proper one.” I guide her fingers to the correct places on the harmonica, showing her how to hold it, my hands lingering on hers while she tries out a few notes. The sound is softer, a little rough around the edges, but it works, and her pride shines when she gets the hang of it.

“This is amazing.” She beams, looking at me with a mixture of pride and something warmer.

“You’re amazing,” I say, and her smile stretches even wider. Then I glance at the sun that’s in a new position in the sky, and realize we’ve lost track of time. “We should head back; I’m sure the other two are wondering if we left them behind. I’m surprised they haven’t come barging over yet.”

Her smile dims, and I want to kick myself for breaking the moment. “You’re right. We’ll need to find a car if we want to make it to the colony soon. Griffin will not make it on foot the whole way, and every day we’re delayed…”

I nod, understanding the unspoken words. Zoey needs that insulin. Whatever I feel about that colony, Zoey has to be worth all of this for Emily to keep risking herself. Maybe I can get Zoey out first, and then let Max loose for his own special brand of playtime on the rest of them.

Standing up, I offer my hand. She takes it and allows me to pull her to her feet, but she falters, her hand pressing against my chest to steady herself. She tilts her head back and meets my eyes, her voice soft. “Thank you…for everything. For not giving up on me.”

I brush a stray strand of hair from her cheek with my knuckles. “As I’ve told you, Emily. You’re worth it.” She blushes and I grin at the faint tinge of pink that spreads across her cheeks. “So, does this mean you’re ready to forgive us?”

She tilts her head with a blush. “You, maybe. Almost. I still have some things to sort out.”

My arms slide around her, pulling her into a hug. I kiss the top of her head, breathing her in. “I can work with that.”

As we make our way back to the temporary camp where Griffin and Max should still be waiting for us, she stops short. I reach for both my gun and my knife on instinct, tucking her against my side, ready for anything.

Her words come out muffled against my ribcage that I’m crushing her against. “Oof, easy, William. I only wanted to stop and look at this tree.”

Looking around to make sure the coast is clear first, I lower my weapon and take in what she’s pointing at. “Is that…tree sap?”

She grins with excitement. “Yes. It can work as a sort of bandage in a pinch. Not ideal, but it’ll help with something like this. Let me see your arm.” With gentle motions, she takes off my makeshift bandage to reveal the nearly healed wound, and then spreads the sap over it. The coolness soothes the ache, and she looks up at me with hope, which is something I haven’t seen on her all too often. My chest swells with pride that I somehow inadvertently helped with that. “Do we have anything to collect more of it? It could help Griffin a lot until we can find something better. Dammit, why didn’t I grab better supplies while I had the chance?”

“Smart thinking,” I say, grinning too, while digging through my pockets.