13. Emily

13

EMILY

W hen he doesn’t budge, I try again. “I need to leave. Or…we do.”

Griffin stays put, arms around me like there’s nowhere else he’d rather be. As much as I’d love to stay in this little bubble, I can’t. I’ve got people depending on me. Someone’s life depends on me, and I need to get back to her with this medicine—whether or not they come with me.

With a sigh, I try to push myself up, but he tightens his hold. “You can’t.”

I waver for a moment, his hands steadying me as I regain my balance. When I look down, a flicker of pain shadows his eyes. This contradicts what he told me about sticking by my side. “Why?”

After a beat, his voice is solemn when he admits, “I won’t be able to keep up with you for long.”

“What happened?”

“My stitches. They came undone.” He lets me go and scoots back, sitting cross-legged on the ground, before looking up at me, waiting.

“I warned you,” I say, a bite in my tone. “Over and over at the last shelter.” My words roll into a full-on lecture, but he just grins at me, like it’s all a joke. Unbelievable.

At last, he tugs me back down until I’m kneeling in front of him. Flashes of that moment flood back—rotters closing in, Griffin tearing into them with his bare hands, his lips crashing against mine. The shirt he was wearing when I last saw him in the rearview mirror clings to him now, drenched in sweat and streaked with dried blood. With a sigh, I run the tip of my finger along one of the dried red streaks. “Griffin, what did you do?” I ask, even though I already know.

“I was looking for you.”

I clutch the hem of his shirt, lifting it as I meet his eyes before pulling it over his head and dropping it in a heap in the dirt. “Do we have any water left?”

“Not until William gets back. I saved a bottle for you, then used the rest to clean you up while you slept.”

I trace my fingers over his chest, following the hard lines until I reach his wound. Dried blood clings to it, and while it’s reassuring he’s not actively bleeding, it still needs serious care. “Any first aid supplies? Something to stitch this up?”

He shakes his head. “Nothing but Band-Aids and a couple cotton balls.”

I close my eyes for a moment to think before opening them again and letting out a sigh. “Maybe I can use the old thread, but without a needle…If I could just clean it, I could see what I’m working with.”

I lean in to examine the wound more closely. It’s not as bad as I feared, but there’s no way he’s going to cover much ground on foot with it like this. “You’re healing, but this still needs proper care. Walking’s not an option. If you push it like you’ve been doing, then there won’t be anything I can do for you.”

Pushing myself back up onto my knees, I wrap my arms around his neck, and he draws me close, his legs shifting to give me space. Almost as though he’s afraid to let me get too far away from him. “Not a chance I’m staying behind, princess,” he says, his voice unyielding.

“I know. You’re ridiculously stubborn.”

He smirks, taking pride in that.

“If we find a car, we could drive to the colony. There aren’t many towns left to scavenge along the way, and I’ve already wasted too much time on foot. We’d have to go out of our way to find areas that might have useful supplies, but I’d really like to stay on course as much as possible. However, I also can’t bear to watch you suffer even more, in sake of getting to my town faster.”

“Speaking of cars.” He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear with a frown, but I can’t tell if it’s because of my hair or because of what I said. “We found the wrecked car,” he says, voice hard. “Scared the hell out of us. I’ve never rushed into a horde of rotters that fast before.”

“Why, Griffin?”

“I never had a reason to.”

“No, I mean…why did you come after me? After Nathan exposed everything, you believed him over me. You didn’t ask, didn’t hesitate to turn away, so disgusted with me. I haven’t forgotten that or forgiven it. Not that I can blame you. Still, though. The look you had on your face is forever seared into my mind.”

His grip loosens, and for a heartbeat, I think he’s letting me go. But then his hands tighten on my hips, holding me close. His voice, rough and low, is strained. “The way I reacted, the things I said…it’s been haunting me every single moment since you drove off. I barely watched your taillights disappear before I realized what I’d done.” His jaw clenches; a flicker of anger—at himself, or maybe Nathan. “That bastard was grinning, like he lives for creating chaos. I should have known better, especially after what he did to Max. Except, I didn’t. I made a mistake. The worst one I’ve ev er made. I’ll spend as long as it takes making it right with you.”

“You know I’m the one who brought Nathan into the colony. After what he did, no one there trusts outsiders anymore. Since then, they’ve shot two people who tried to enter, without asking questions first. I’m the reason those people are dead, the reason no one in the colony, except Zoey, trusts me.” Griffin reaches his hand up to my face and strokes my cheek with the pad of his thumb in comfort. “I made one error in judgment, but it cost us supplies. It cost us people. Then when you looked at me that way…I realized I’d lost you all, too. That maybe no one would ever trust me again because of one mistake I’ll never be able to live down.”

“Emily…”

“Here’s the thing—I haven’t learned from it. I was still willing to risk everything to get you three inside, and if they’d refused, I’d have left it all behind to be with you. So, maybe I’m the only one who has learned nothing.” I try to pull away, but his grip tightens. He tries to pull me forward, but I refuse. I so badly want to believe everything he’s saying. Especially since he believes his own words. I’ve been burned too deeply to trust so easily. I’ve witnessed how quickly those who pretend to care about me can flip a switch and change their mind.

“Wait.”

“I’ll get you the help you need for your wound, because I keep my word. When I say you can trust me, I mean it, even if you don’t.” I push against him, and his arms finally fall away.

His voice cracks and it’s almost like a stab to the heart. “You’re not leaving again?”

I stand, offering him one last look and a soft, sad smile. “Not without you three. Like I said, I keep my promises.”

Most importantly, I hope he does, too.

Please, Griffin. Prove me wrong.