30. Caleb

THIRTY

Caleb

I blinked at my surroundings, trying to remember where I was and what was going on. Everything was white. There was no defined floor, or ceiling, or walls. Just… white. The white of a blank page, of empty air, of clouds.

The Host.

The sensations of Earth still rested on my skin. Josie’s words telling me I could go hummed in my ears though that world was already far behind me.

I’d been drawn into the antechamber. But why wasn’t I inside? I looked down and realized I was still clutching the book of angelic seals, Josie’s last gift to me. I held it to my heart, tears beading at the corners of my eyes as I thought of her pressing it into my hand. Her love as evident as the book in my hands. She knew my destiny, and through her love, she helped me fulfill it. Even though it hurt her, she’d still let me go.

And yet here I was, waiting in the antechamber. Completely and wholly unwilling to let her go.

Was I supposed to keep waiting or go inside? I didn’t know. There was no visible doorway, so waiting seemed right. But for what?

My ears popped as the air pressure changed next to me, signaling that I had company. I turned to find Gabriel studying me with a serious frown.

“Welcome to the celestial waiting room. Seems you have a decision to make.”

“Me? I need the Host to decide if I’ve done enough to earn my wings back.”

He smiled, the expression gentler than I was used to from my archangel friend as he lay a hand on my shoulder.

“Caleb, I’ve been trying to steer you for quite a while, but I think the time for subtlety has passed, or you wouldn’t be stuck in limbo.”

In limbo.

The words struck an ancient fear into my heart. If I hadn’t successfully regained my place as a cupid, I’d be cast out, unable to ever return to the Host. Unable to ever get my wings back, or claim my Chosen. A broken destiny, never to be repaired. There would be nothing left to save me from falling.

But if I had earned my place back, did that mean leaving Josie behind? This thing between us was unprecedented, but I knew deep down that it was right.

There has to be a way.

“A decision.” I swallowed though my throat was drier than the Sahara. “I’m listening.”

“You have to decide if you want to claim Josie as your Chosen.”

I rocked back on my heels in shock.

“I really thought that kiss to prove her parents wrong would have done it,” he continued with a sigh, “but I guess even I’m wrong some of the time. All that fantastic meddling, and you’re still stuck. It’s rude, really.” He sniffed dramatically.

“Wait, you were the one pushing her parents to disbelieve our relationship?”

“Guilty as charged.”

My feet were suddenly entangled, and I looked down to find three divine felines weaving between my legs.

“Them too.” Gabriel crossed his arms. “Their progress reports, however, just continued to illuminate how clueless you were. I used every trick in the book to push you two together. Hell, I even sent her Nana to tell her she was meant to be with you. But damn, you two were convinced that the fact you’d tried and failed once before was the end of it. I thought by now you’d know that a case of bad timing doesn’t mean something isn’t written in the stars.”

He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck as he studied me for a reaction. But I was so shocked, it felt like my brain had short-circuited.

Was he telling me I was free to claim Josie as my Chosen, or that I had to choose her or the Host?

“What did any of this have to do with you, anyway? Why meddle?” It was barely the tip of the iceberg, but the longer I stayed in the antechamber, the more disembodied I started to feel. I had to choose, and quickly, so I could get out of here.

“The power between you two surpassed even angelic projections.” He scratched the back of his head and looked away. “Your time to be together was always now, but seven years ago…” He shrugged. “You jumped the gun.”

“You knew even then?” My head swirled with questions but all my beating heart could say was Josie-Josie-Josie.

“You weren’t the only one to make mistakes.” He leaned forward. “The Host was not pleased with me, but the draw between you was too strong to keep you apart. You had your matches to make, and I had mine. But at last, your time has come. The moment of decision is now . If you wait any longer, the window will have closed on your and Josie’s chance. I let her find the book, you ignored the signs. I led you to the bookstore, you figured it was to help you match couples. You are no easy mark, Caleb. Just like Marigold and Axel, yesterday was the final day for you two to decide before setting off repercussions that span generations. Frankly, I didn’t think you’d cut it so close to the line, but you’re stubborn. That’s unusual for a cupid. And yet another trait you and Josie have in common.” He winked at me. “So, cupid , do you believe that love truly conquers all?”

I gaped at him, jaw slack, completely flabbergasted.

I get to choose. An angel has never before had a human Chosen, yet they are letting me choose.

All the rest faded to background noise. I was here, in the antechamber, to decide if I was going to claim Josie as my Chosen or reclaim my birthright and my wings. Of course, I wanted her. I wanted her with every fiber of my being, every molecule yearned to complete the bond—and yes, I could feel it now that we were on the incorporeal plane—the golden tendrils that transcended time and space, fragile as silk thread and yet connecting us. Binding our souls.

Such small beginnings, but it meant that the seal had begun to weave us together. My power hadn’t been on the fritz at all. It knew what I’d been too stubborn to see all along—Josie was my Chosen.

Relief flooded me, just like the water rushing back on Alki beach. She’s mine .

Everything else felt less catastrophic, less overwhelming, now that I knew I wasn’t losing it.

But what would happen with the Host if I claimed her as my Chosen? Would I be cast down, sealing my fate as fallen from grace and hers as bound to a being who would only grow darker as my angelic light faded for good?

I couldn’t condemn her to that fate. It would be worse than death, for a beautiful spirit such as hers to be bound to ever-deepening darkness. One day the change would be complete, and she’d find herself bound for eternity to a demon.

But… if I didn’t choose her, didn’t complete the seal, she’d be alone forever. She’d have her bookshop, her friends, and her cats. Even her family would be by her side; I truly believed that now. But companionship? A spouse, children? She wouldn’t have any of that.

And I wouldn’t be able to go back to her. I saw that now, saw it laid out in Gabriel’s somber words that our window was about to close, permanently.

What would she want me to choose? It felt wrong to take that decision from her, but I’d missed my chances to ask her. Fuck .

I’d never really explained. My head had been so far up my ass that I’d never sat her down and told her what she was to me. How precious. Granted, I didn’t know it was possible , not even to the bitter end.

I never even told her the truth, that I loved her too. Could I leave her alone forever without telling her that? What a depressing fate, to never know how deeply you were loved.

“It’s time, Caleb. The Host grows impatient.”

I looked up, letting my fingers trace over the cover of the book that she’d kept safe for me for seven long, lonely years. The faintest whiff of her essence still clung to it .

And suddenly, I knew. There was only one choice.

“I’m ready.”

He nodded, looking grave.

We stepped forward, side by side, into a doorway of light.