31. Josie

THIRTY-ONE

Josie

As I approached the base of Mount Rainier, a quiet melancholy welled up in my chest. The towering mass of stone and snow loomed above me, but it was mine for the taking. Caleb and I had said we’d do it together, all those years ago, but I had to make my own way now.

He’d been gone for three weeks, and though there were moments I thought I felt his presence, his watchful eye upon me, I knew it had to be from afar.

The air was crisp and clean, filling my lungs with an invigorating chill as I shouldered my gear, the weight comfortable and grounding. I ignored the voice inside me that said I was like Frodo leaving the Shire, because I was not in the mood to confront any wizards, warlocks, or witches on this trip. Especially since I knew now more than ever that it was a real possibility.

Each tiny detail of the world around me seemed magnified, the crunch of gravel underfoot, the sweet, sap-filled scent of the pine trees, the cool touch of the early morning wind against my skin. I was alone, yet I felt an inexplicable connection to everything around me—to the mountain, to the sky, to the air I breathed.

I had decided to undertake this expedition alone, equipped with only my backpack and the grief that fueled my heart. I didn’t want the distraction of a trekking group, the chatter, and the constant companionship. I needed solitude—a chance to clear my mind and my soul, to face my own thoughts and fears without the noise of the world interfering.

I knew it was foolish, but a tiny seed of hope had taken root within me. If I could just reach the top of this mountain, to see alone what Caleb and I had planned to do together, I might find a way to start over.

Perhaps on the summit of Mount Rainier, I could begin the next phase of my life without Caleb.

The whistle of a gentle wind made the vast expanse feel even more lonely.

… until I heard a purr.

“Now what on earth are you doing here?”

There was no point in asking, for Gatsby, Matilda, and Heathcliff were never going to be the domesticated felines who puttered about the house. I wouldn’t have pegged them as hiking companions either, but there they were, ready to go.

“Well,” I murmured. “Looks like it’s just the four of us, then.”

With a deep breath, I straightened up, casting one last glance at the world below before turning to face the path. As I headed forward, the cats fell into step beside me, their little bodies weaving around my legs as we ventured onward.

By the end of the day, my body was wiped, but the sense of accomplishment overtook any aching muscles. I found a flat, grassy area nestled against a cluster of boulders, perfectly sheltered from the wind. The snow-covered peaks reflected the fading light, casting a soft, silvery glow over my little hideaway. It wasn’t exactly cozy like a warm bed, but up here, surrounded by nature’s raw beauty, it felt just right. I wrestled the tent into submission and crawled inside with Gatsby, Heathcliff, and Matilda right behind me.

They had taken every step at my side, stopping with me to nibble or when tears welled in my eyes so badly that I risked missing the path. With their little bodies curled up against my tired legs and their purring filling the quiet night, I drifted into a deep, comforting sleep.

Until the tent flapped in what must have been a freak windstorm.

The cats pawed at the tent door and swiftly rushed out as I opened it, probably seeking shelter in something that wasn’t about to blow away. I, however, had no other choice.

I hunkered down and waited as the morning was a forbidding bluster of hail and wild gusts, turning my tent into a pitiful excuse of a fortress.

None of this had been in the forecast. It was like the mountain had turned on me overnight.

“Why? Why is this happening now ?” I screamed at the wind as it whipped against the tent, hoping that oh-so-powerful Host up there heard me, too. “Why can’t I catch one single break? Isn’t it bad enough that I was left behind? Now, the one thing I’m trying to do to heal myself has to go wrong.”

The storm outside wasn’t half as bad as the one in my head. I was mad . Mad at myself, mad at the weather, mad at the heavens, just a little bit mad at Caleb for having to go. The tent was too small to contain my raging emotions, so even though the gusts threatened to tear it away, I scrambled out of it.

“Is this all you got?” I yelled at the sky. “Don’t you want to throw me off the side of the mountain? Or maybe break my leg so that I have to crawl back down, leaving my dignity behind?”

My voice was getting hoarse, but I couldn’t stop myself.

“It’s not fair! None of this! All I wanted was to find my future. Is this it? Is this the future that’s seeking me, a freak storm with runaway cats, and the love of my life leaving me behind? It’s not right!”

The wind tore the tears from my face.

“Caleb! Can you even hear me anymore?” My screams turned to anguished whispers as I poured it all out into the storm’s onslaught. “Why? Why did it have to be like this when everything around us, everything inside us knew that we were meant to be together? Caleb!” My voice broke on his name, the sobs racking me too much to contain.

The world went dark, and I choked with terror.

I was enveloped in warmth, the winds instantly muffled, and I was in an enclosure, a cocoon that protected me, though it was stifling me, too. With my arms tucked against my chest, I had no room to move. I could hardly breathe.

Am I dying?

And then there was light. I was right where I had been, on the side of the mountain, but everything had changed. No more wind, no more squall. Only a few fluffy clouds were in the sky, which I was sure was a shade of blue I had never seen before.

Beside me stood Caleb. But not the same Caleb I knew.

Vast and luminous, his wings filled the space around us, and I studied them with awe. Silken and mesmerizing, each feather shimmered in the colors of champagne, blushing rose petals, and the occasional deep red among the others. They were the color of love itself. Fanned out, they were majestic and otherworldly. As if they could only be half-present in this plane of existence.

His muscles tensed as he tucked his wings behind him and brushed my cheek with the back of his fingers.

I shook my head, but he was still there. In jeans and a fitted linen shirt, he was not an apparition and not a dream. I squinted up, his ethereal figure towering over me. Feathers fluttered gently in the light breeze that had been an icy tempest just a moment before.

“That storm,” I started, my voice quiet. “That was you.”

It was part accusation, part awe, part sheer delight that I didn’t dare let myself feel.

Caleb’s response was a grin, boyish and cheeky, his eyes gleaming with mischief. That was the Caleb I knew.

“Want to go for a ride?” he asked, extending a hand. The instant I nodded, he swept me up, one arm securely around me, and we were off. It wasn’t just that his reappearance was unbelievable, it was that I didn’t know what it meant . After all Caleb and I had gone through, I wasn’t able to let go of the idea that this might be a divine ending to our incredible story.

Ascending through the crisp air, everything felt unreal. His divine energy wrapped around me, warm and protective. “Are you afraid?” he asked, his arms holding me firmly but not tightly, the muscle from his shoulders and biceps a comfort that only he could give.

“I’ve never felt safer.” I held his gaze, reveling in the fact that he’d come back .

I ran my fingers along the curve of his jaw, a thrum inside me demanding I take those luscious lips with mine. While I might have doubts about the significance of seeing Caleb on the side of a mountain, my body knew exactly how it felt. It asked no questions, entertained no doubt. It needed to have Caleb closer than he’d ever been, to be filled by him. To feel his breath on every curve, to feel his tongue on my most sensitive places, to surround his cock inch by glorious inch.

As if he could hear my thoughts, he pulled me tighter, his hand caressing the small of my back as we flew, then reaching down to grab hold of my ass and press me tighter to him. The thickness of his cock was stiff against my stomach, and a small gasp escaped my lips at the sensation. Caleb looked at me, his eyes hungry as a different kind of smile spread across his face.

“That’s my needy girl,” he whispered, sending another jolt of awareness through me. “But first, I have a question for you.”

I playfully slapped his chest. “You couldn’t have asked me on the ground?”

His eyes crinkled and he relaxed. “I could have, but the view’s better up here.”

“Are you about to start singing that song from Aladdin ?”

“What?”

Oh, Caleb and his angelic lack of pop culture references. “Not important. What’s the question?” My tone was light, but a lump began to form in my throat. Whatever this question was, I didn’t know that I wanted to answer.

“Just you wait. When we reach the top, I think it will all be clear.”

He landed on the summit of Mt. Rainier, the world sprawled below us, a vast expanse of beauty that took my breath away. It was the sort of sight that put everything into perspective, the sort of sight that made you believe in the magic of life again.

He held my hands so I wouldn’t slip as a wing encircled me.

The world unfurled around us like a masterpiece painted by the hands of the divine. The vibrant green of the valleys sprawled below, adorned with wildflowers that bloomed like a palette of summer’s colors—vivid yellow, burning orange, and soft lavender, which I still swore I caught the scent of, despite the distance.

We were somewhere between heaven and Earth, a magical bubble of our own making.

That thought interrupted the intensity of the moment, and I couldn’t pretend it didn’t scare me. Was this his last goodbye?

“Caleb—” I lost my footing, which would have brought a rocky end to our rocky relationship before I even had the answer I needed.

“I’ve got you.” He had a hold of my wrist, and with a pull, I was right back in front of him. His hands steadied me, running down my sides until they settled on my hips. He stepped closer so I had no choice but to look up at him, despite the nervous energy that made me want to fidget. His chest rose and fell with a steadying breath before he started to speak.

“Josie,” he started, and I closed my eyes at the sound of my name on his lips.

Just a little longer. I wanted—no, needed —to stay in a place where he and I could be together. I might have been delusional, in denial, but whatever it was, I had to have him a little longer. If he was about to say goodbye forever, I needed to savor this last moment of delicious possibility, his heat and strength and scent surrounding me, making me feel whole.

“Caleb…” I pressed myself against him, letting my breasts mold against the hard muscles in his chest. My nipples immediately responded, and a rush of heat flowed through me, my underwear soaked through from even that little bit of contact.

Caleb’s eyes shut, a throaty groan coming from his lips before he said, “I can feel everything that’s happening to you. The desire, the lust?—”

“The desperate need,” I finished, taking his cheeks in my hands and making him look at me. “What I feel goes beyond sense, Caleb. I’m aching for you, like I cannot be complete without having you again. On me. Over me. Inside me.”

A low rumble, possessive and fiery, told me he felt the same. There was just one thing.

“Caleb,” I mustered up the courage before my aching core overtook all sense. “Is this the end?”

He put a finger to my lips, gently stopping me in my tracks, his eyes reflecting the blue of the sky above. “Oh, my Josie. Is that what you thought?” He stroked my hair with such tenderness that I melted into him. “It turns out that the future I sought was seeking me, too.”

He leaned in, his lips meeting mine in a kiss that was all possession, so overwhelming I felt it down to the tips of my toes.