Chapter 26

CHAPTER 26

EASTON

I would love to say I’m well rested going into this exam, but after staying up all hours last night waiting to hear about Margeaux, well-fucked is the best we’re going to get. Chase is already back at the hospital with his mom, but made sure there was a text waiting on me this morning wishing me good luck and telling me he was confident I’d do well.

It’s throwing me off that Chase isn’t here for this when he’s been my biggest supporter during this whole process. Of course, he’s where he should be, and I wanted him to go be with his family, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t missing him something crazy right now. My leg bounces rapidly as I wait for Brady to come over. He should be here any minute. I’m being dramatic again.

Truthfully, I’ve felt off for a while now, probably just from nerves, but without Chase around, it gets worse fast. Which really pisses me off, if I’m being honest. My brain can’t hold it together long enough for him to have a family crisis without worrying about me spiraling again.

His mom could have died, for fuck’s sake. Her baby did die. The least I can do is be a supportive boyfriend and be there for Chase. Even with all the crazy swirling around in my head, that word still makes my stomach swoop.

Chase Adler is my boyfriend.

I hide the cheesy grin tugging at my lips with my hand as heat rushes to my ears. Damn. If only I could go back and tell fourteen-year-old me that the dark-haired boy rooming with my brother that made my heart stutter is my boyfriend.

The front door bangs open, startling me from my thoughts and sending me about half a foot into the air.

“Can you ever enter a room normally?” I whine. “You’re going to give me a heart attack one of these days.”

Brady chuckles warmly and ruffles my hair with one of his calloused hands. “Sorry, Koda. So today’s the day. How are you feeling?”

He slides me a smoothie with a stern look that screams eat something. Bossy, even without words. “Okay, I guess. All things considered.” Mmm, pineapple. My favorite. How’s that phrase go? To be loved is to be known? I missed having someone who’s always known me.

My brother sighs unhappily. “Yeah, talk about shit timing. Do you know how far along she was?”

I shake my head. “Not exactly, but pretty deep into her second trimester. She hid it from everyone for a while until all her kids were in the same room.”

Brady swears under his breath. “Well, not to be an insensitive asshole, but we gotta put that out of our minds so you can focus on your test, Eas. This is a really big day for you.”

“Yeah. Easier said than done, but I’m trying. I’m not sure I have this in me to do this again, so I’ve kinda got to get it right the first time.”

He smiles softly. “You will. You’re so smart, kid.”

I down the last of my smoothie and toss the cup in the sink to deal with later. “We both know my eyes glaze over with any number longer than three digits. Smart seems a bit out of reach for me, Brady.”

The sound he makes is somewhere between outrage and disbelief as we make our way to his car. “That doesn’t mean you’re not smart. It means you’re shit with numbers. Welcome to the vast majority of humans. It’ll still be okay.”

I hum noncommittally. It’s kind of his job as my big brother to believe in me more than I deserve. I’m used to taking it with a grain of salt. He holds a mostly one-sided conversation on our way, and I’m grateful for it. The noise is soothing, even if I’m not sure why he’s so aware of Logan’s many hair color choices.

But hey, it requires very little input from me, so I’m a big fan. It’s not until he puts the car in park that I really start to feel the worst of my anxiety.

Deep breath in, hold… four, three, two, one. Again.

Brady graciously gives me time to collect myself. “It’s about time, Eas. You don’t wanna be late.”

I nod reluctantly. “Yeah. I’m going.”

He stops me with a hand on my shoulder. “You’re going to do great, and on the off chance you don’t; no one is going to think any less of you, especially me. I love you. You’re gonna pass and this will be behind you finally.”

I force out a gruff word of thanks and get out of the car because if I linger, I’m definitely going to be dramatic and cry or something. It’s my thing now, I guess.

Fucking awful, in my opinion.

There’s a couple dozen other people of varying ages that signed up for the same time slot as me, and I’m really trying to not be self-conscious about the fact that most of them look like they’re supposed to be in high school or way older than me. Good for them, really. It’s hard to invest in yourself no matter how old you are. But being the weird in-between age is not fun for me .

If I could go one day without overthinking the dumbest shit, I’d be a whole different person, I swear.

The proctor passes out the exams and explains how much time we have, then all of a sudden, I’m actually doing this.

This barrier being knocked down would change my entire world. No one would be able to force me to be dependent on them again. Force me to be reliant on another person not being cross with me so I could eat.

Don’t fuck it up, Easton.

Please, don’t let me fuck it up.

Being a fast test taker is always such a gamble. I reread through my answers and make sure I’m happy with all of them and I’m still the second person done. That means I either failed miserably or knocked it out of the ballpark.

Preparing for the worst is my speciality, so while I try to convince myself that I’m not going to like the score I see when it is available, there’s a dumb little kernel in my chest that wonders if maybe I actually did okay.

I hate that thing sometimes, optimism is a very dangerous thing for me.

Brady messaged me while I was in there about picking me up, but I assure him that I’m fine and I’d rather get some air. I’m getting better at being alone with my thoughts, even when they’re not exactly positive. The way I see it, I need practice with it. It obviously doesn’t come easily to me, but that doesn’t mean it has to stay that way.

Chase may not see it this way now, but eventually, my mental state will become a burden to him if I don’t learn how to cope by myself some of the time. I want a future with him so badly. It doesn’t help that now, I can picture it. Some of the details are still a little blurry, like what I’d do for a living, but he and I are as clear as day in my mind’s eye. The way we’d feel about each other, how happy we could be .

It’s an intoxicating thought and I’m willing to do anything to have it be a reality.

The walk home is peaceful enough, but the empty house waiting on me when I get there is most certainly not. I text Chase to tell him that I made it back and that the results should be available within the next couple days, but the message won’t send.

Huh. That’s weird. He must have bad signal at the hospital or something.

Oh well, he should get it when he heads back to his parent’s house.

I toss my backpack into the laundry room so I’ll remember to double check the clothes I packed this morning. It slides down in between the washer and dryer but that’s for future me to deal with.

I have bigger problems for the time being, mainly that I haven’t eaten real food today, and now that my stomach isn’t in my throat from nerves, I’m starving.

The worry for Chase never goes away. Out of control situations like this aren’t his strong suit which is why I’m gonna get Brady to help me get a flight out to Chicago as soon as possible. He’s my boyfriend. Now that this fucking test is over at last, all I want is to be there for him while he tries to navigate this. Show him the same kind of compassion he’s always shown me.

I hum off-key to myself while grabbing what I need for a grilled cheese and wonder how Margeaux is doing. Or Logan and the boys. Poor little Sage must be so confused. My heart aches for them and the baby that should have been.

Last I saw, they were thinking of the name Finley.

I can’t even think of it without my eyes burning. A knock sounds on the door, so I shut off the burner so I can answer it. Brady probably is coming over with an arm-load of junk food or something .

“I’ll give you credit for lasting thi—” My words dry up in my throat as I gaze into the brown eyes that have haunted my nightmares.

He smiles sinisterly. “Did you miss me, doll?”

I stutter and stammer, no coherent words or thoughts can form. All I feel is a tsunami of panic hitting me full force. “I think I’ve let you play with your friends long enough. It’s time to come home.”

My voice is small. “No.” He can’t be here. This can’t be happening. Surely, I’ve fallen and hit my head.

Aaron tsks, disappointed in me, just like he always is. “Don’t be silly, doll. Come home. Let’s not do this the hard way, I’ve missed you. Have you missed me?”

My head shakes. “No. We’re over. I live here now,” I say firmly.

Saliva floods my mouth like I’m about to be sick as he picks an invisible piece of lint from his immaculately pressed shirt. “Silly boy, I would have remembered if I let you leave. You’re mine, and I won’t be denied my possessions.”

That tone. Fuck. Like I’m so far beneath him, he is doing me a favor by even looking at me. “I’m not. I saw you get engaged. The boy in the park. You asked him to marry you so I left. You were cheating on me,” I insist.

He cocks his head to the side. “I don’t know what you think you saw, doll, but we both know your flare for the dramatics. It’s time to come home, Easton. Get in the car.”

I glance around him and see an all too familiar black car parked out front. My mouth dries up and my chest tightens, constricting my airway. “You… you… No.” I wheeze.

I’m so fucking stupid. How did I not see this? All those weird encounters and feelings of being watched I’ve been dismissing. I should have known it was him. There’s no one else that can get my hackles raised like that, and I ignored it all for ignorant bliss .

Aaron nods slowly, sinisterly, as he sees me connecting the dots. “That’s right. You think you can scurry off like a little rat and throw away all the hard work I’ve put into you? That I’d let you? You’re mine, Easton. I’m done watching you play house. You had your fun. Now get in the fucking car.” He punctuates each word in the last sentence with a step towards me and my fight-or-flight is going haywire.

How do I get away? What do I do? There’s only one option.

Run.

I’m not even halfway through the living room before he’s on me, grabbing me by the shoulders and shoving me into the wall hard enough to stun me. Instincts take over, trying to kick or hit my way out of his hold, but I’m far out-matched in size and strength. Aaron laughs, a sick sound that grates on my nerve endings.

Cold, hard metal presses against my temple, making me go as still as a statue. No. Surely, it’s not what I think it is.

Slowly, my gaze slides over his face. I don’t know how I ever thought he was handsome when now all I can see is evil. “I missed our games, doll. What do you say about a new one?” He only pauses for a moment before continuing. “Yes. I think a new game is just what we need. Gotta keep the spark alive, as they say.” He chuckles at his own joke as my heart falls through my feet.

When he pulls his arm back to show me the gun, I knew in my gut he had, my vision blurs dangerously. No, no, no. Don’t pass out. Don’t make it easy for him to take you to a second location.

I always fucking knew he’d get bored one day and level up to a violence I have no hope of defending myself from.

Aaron grabs me by the hair, yanking so that I have no choice but to look up at him. “Listen here, you little shit. If you think I won’t put a bullet through the skull of the man you’ve been using to screw around on me, you’re dumber than even I thought. Do not play with me right now.”

I thought you wanted to play games, I think absently. As much as I’d like to believe he wouldn’t hurt Chase because of me, the sinking feeling in my gut says otherwise. There’s a challenge in his soulless eyes, almost like he wants me to give him the opportunity to enact his sick revenge.

I can’t let him hurt Chase. And Brady is right next door… Risking either of their lives makes the decision for me. One I hoped that I’d never be forced into again. Probably na?ve of me, I should have known Aaron better than that. The lump in my throat is the size of a fist, but I force myself to speak over it. “If I go with you, you’ll leave him alone?”

He clucks his tongue. “Always such a martyr, aren’t you, Easton? But yes, I’ll leave your boy toy alone. All you have to do is to be a good boy and come home.”

Home and good boy threaten to make me ill, but I push through it. “Okay. I’ll go. I won’t cause anymore problems.”

Take a deep breath, in through your nose, hold it, then out through your mouth. You’re doing the right thing, the less people that have to get hurt, the better.

It’s my final comforting thought before Aaron brings the gun to my head again. A burst of pain, then it all goes black.