27. August

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

AUGUST

" Y ou spread your legs wide open for that fucking son of a bitch and you asked him to stick his dick inside you. You fucked him."

"You're nothing but a whore, isn't that right, Ella?"

"We're done here. I never should have given you the time of day and I'll be damned if I waste another breath on you."

"Shit." I hang my head in shame and brace myself against the wall with my hand as the hot water rushes over my body.

How the hell did I even get here?

In the past twenty-four hours, I lost my shit and beat a man with my bare hands, I lost my best friend and the woman I loved, lost all my dignity, and quite possibly my job as well.

How do I even begin to come back from this?

I go through the motions finishing in Griffin's shower, grateful that the guys are standing by me to help me through this mess but feeling like the world's biggest fucking loser.

To be honest, I don't care about the job.

Okay, maybe I care a little. Hockey has been my life since I was old enough to skate. But more importantly, the person I love the most in this world is God knows where doing God knows what all because I tore her apart without listening. Without asking questions first. I jumped the gun and reacted instead of putting her best interests in front of my own. The moment I saw that picture of her I reacted with hate for Furbling rather than compassion for Ella.

I was such an idiot.

I know whatever she's thinking, doing, or saying right now, she's crying her eyes out while she does it because that's who she is. She's an emotional crier and I'm gutted thinking about what I've put her through.

I didn't want to hurt her.

But I did.

Fuck, I said some things I can't take back. Words that will undoubtedly stay with her forever and there's not a damn thing I can do about it other than apologize profusely for being the world's biggest piece of shit.

The last thing I want to do is lose her.

Especially over something like my stupid fucking lack of communication skills.

I wouldn't blame her if she doesn't want to forgive me.

"You doing alright in here?" Griffin pushes the door open a smidge as I turn the water off and grab my towel.

"No." I wrap the towel around my waist and step out of the wet shower. "What am I supposed to do now, Griff?" I mumble quietly so this doesn't turn into a team intervention in the bathroom. "How am I supposed to fix this?"

"Well, Oliver spoke with Coach who said Furbling isn't pressing charges."

My brows pinch. "He's not?"

Griffin shakes his head.

"What the fuck? How did that happen? Why not? I beat the shit out of him right there on the rink for everyone to see. I'm certain it's on social media. There's no way I'm getting away with this."

Griffin stares me down and then cocks his head and softly says, "Because Ella got to him last night after you left apparently."

Ella.

All the blood drains from my face.

"Ella. How do you know this? What's going on?"

He gestures out the door. "Scarlett got here a few minutes ago with lunch. She'll tell you everything."

"Scarlett? What does she know about it?"

"Just get dressed and meet us in the living room."

As quickly as I can I towel off and throw on the clean clothes that Griffin left for me, rolling my eyes at the gray pajama pants with a finger pointing up my chest that says "THE MAN" and a finger pointing to my dick that says "THE LEGEND."

"Really Griffin?" I mutter to myself as I pull on the Anaheim t-shirt he left me as well.

Whatever.

They're clothes.

Ella is more important right now.

I throw open the bathroom door and head down his short hallway back to the living room finally feeling refreshed and a little more focused.

"Hey who has my phone?" I ask to the group of guys seated around the room. But the moment they all look my way they burst out laughing.

"Nice pants Blackstone," Bear says with a glint of humor in his eye.

"Nice? Those are fucking amazing!" Ledger laughs, pointing. "I think I need those for myself."

"You could only be so lucky, Dayne," Griffin says to Ledger. "Besides Blackstone's had a rough twenty-four hours. He deserves to feel good about himself for a little bit."

"Scarlett, what's going on with Ella?" I ask, trying to ignore the snide comments from my teammates about my apparel. "Is she alright? Did she go home? Is that where she is now? Please tell me she didn't take her stuff and leave."

Scarlett shakes her head. "I'm sorry, August. I don't have all the answers for you. I only know what I heard last night because I found her sobbing in the physical therapy room."

I plop down on the couch, my hands in my wet hair. "Fuck."

"She was pretty shaken for sure," she says. "Upset about what happened, obviously, but for what it's worth, she heard the medics trying to help this Jeff guy and heard him shouting about suing you and the entire franchise."

Fucking Christ, if that happens, I'm done for.

"But then she confronted him and put him in his place. Gave him hell and then threatened to take him for everything he has over those photos he took and for slandering you over the years. And then she slapped him."

"That's our girl," Ledger says with a smile. "She's bad ass sometimes."

Yeah. She is.

Not that this makes me feel any better about this mess. Ella should never have had to come to my defense. She shouldn't have been made to feel the need to fix things because I shouldn't have let it go as far as it did. I knew better and I reacted with my fists anyway.

I hang my head, holding it in my hands, and sigh not knowing what I'm supposed to say or do now, but Scarlett kneels down in front of me and places a comforting hand on my knee.

"For what it's worth though, August, I heard her say to Furbling that she chooses you. And that even if and when you hate her guts, she'll still choose you. Because she loves you that much."

My chest tightens, my cheeks burn, and I drop my trembling chin to my chest. "I don't fucking deserve her," I say, pressing a palm over my lips to keep from crying.

"You do deserve her, August," Scarlett tells me with a sympathetic smile. "She's your person. She's always been your person and from the sounds of things, no matter what has happened or will happen in the future, she'll always be your person. You just have to talk to her."

"How? What could I possibly say that would fix everything I said to her last night. I called her a whore, Scarlett," I say, shaking my head. "I said so many fucking terrible things to her. There's no way she should forgive me for that."

Scarlett shrugs. "Maybe she shouldn't. You're right."

I raise my eyes to meet hers because that was not what I expected to hear. "But that's the difference between most women and the one you are in love with. Ella Montgomery is not most women. She loves you with her whole heart and I have a feeling a simple sincere apology would be an excellent start."

"Do you really think that?"

She nods. "Yeah. I do. I really have no doubt that she'll forgive you, August. So maybe an apology followed by something that would make her happy. A nice gesture. Anything. Is there something that comes to mind?"

I have no idea why the universe chooses this moment to toss a thought inside my head but a memory of a conversation we had before she ever moved here comes to mind. I nod to Scarlett and sit up a little more hopefully.

"Actually, yeah."

I spring up from the couch. "I need my keys. Who has my keys."

Harrison leans back over Griffin's kitchen counter and grabs my keys, tossing them to me.

"Thanks. Do you have my phone too?"

"Yep. Right here," he says, pulling it from his jeans pocket.

"Thanks. I've got to go. I'll touch base later."

"Wait!" Griffin calls. "Where the hell are you going?"

I pull his apartment door open and turn back. "I have something I need to do. Scarlett, thank you. And thank you guys. I'll figure out my shit, I promise. But Ella comes first."

Bear gives me a smile—a genuine smile—and gestures with his chin. "Get out of here. And keep us posted."

I'm walking out the door when I hear Ledger shout, "Might want to change your clothes!"

"No time!" I call back with a smile on my face. I break out into a run until I reach the elevator. I'm hyper aware that I could simply walk to my building right next door and maybe find Ella, but I have to make a stop somewhere first so I make a beeline for the parking garage.

Driving down the streets of Anaheim, my phone rings and I press a button on my steering wheel to answer it.

"Blackstone."

"August Blackstone, what the ever-loving fuck did you do to my best friend?"

My brows furrow for a moment and then I see the name on the screen. "Paige?"

"Yeah, it's Paige. Listen, I just got off facetime with Ella and she's a hot mess. Do you know what she's doing right now?"

"Is she home?"

"That depends, asshat! Does she even have a home?"

"What?" I ask with a scowl. "What's the supposed to mean?"

"You told you her you never wanted to see her again. Do you really think she's going to stay in your apartment when you want nothing to do with her? How could you be so fucking cruel? She's not a fucking whore, you bitch-ass little prick. She's fucking ELLA! Your best friend and?—"

"Paige! I know alright? I fucking know! And to answer your question, yes! Yes, Ella has a home. And that place is with me. I'm trying to fix this, alright? I don't blame her one bit for being mad and I wouldn't blame her if she doesn't forgive me but I have to try and I'm trying. I've got one stop to make and then I'm going home to her. I want to work this out. I need her to forgive me so I can fix this."

She scoffs. "She's going to forgive you, dumbass. Even if you don't deserve it. She's going to forgive you because she's Ella and that's what she does. She's freaking female Jesus!"

"I know, Paige. I'm sorry, alright? I was an absolute dick last night. I don't have a good excuse because I knew better."

"You should've been there for her, August! She's all alone out there."

"She's not alone, Paige. I promise. She has me. She'll always have me."

"You better fucking mean that."

"I do. Look, I have something I have to take care of and then I promise I'm going straight home to Ella."

"Okay," she huffs. "The next time I call her she better be smiling."

God I hope she will be.

I pull into the drive of the building and park my car. Keenly aware that I look like hell walking inside in these ridiculous gray pajama pants and a t-shirt, I smile at the woman at the front desk who asks how she can best help me. Her eyes light up and she smiles at me and says, "Whoa! You're August Blackstone!"

"I am. So, I'm guessing you're a hockey fan."

"Of course! My boyfriend and I have season tickets." She homes in on my shiner. "Your eye okay? We saw what happened last night."

"Yeah. I'm good. But that's kind of why I'm here."

"Oooh," she nods her head sympathetically. "Mandated volunteer hours?"

"What? No." I shake my head. "Though I'm sure those are in my future and I'd be more than happy to fulfill those here if you need help, but I'm actually looking for the perfect gift for Lumin…I mean Ella. The girl, our mascot. She's my girlfriend. My absolute best friend and I hurt her last night and I really need to apologize to her and I was hoping you might be able to help me with that.

Her smile helps me breathe a little easier. "I would love to! Let's go have a look."