14. Ella

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

ELLA

" N ever in a million years…" I mumble to myself through the onslaught of sniffles. "Mother fucking asshole. What do you mean, am I a prude? I'm not a fucking prude you…you…shitty ass cum bubble." I grab a beer from the fridge and pull open one of the drawers to grab the bottle opener but it's not in there.

Fuck.

Where's the bottle opener?

"Don't tell me I'm a bad kisser," I murmur, opening another drawer and slamming it shut. "I'm not a bad kisser. You're a bad kisser."

Sniffle.

Open another drawer.

Slam it shut.

Sniffle.

"Kissing you is like kissing a fucking dog. No, maybe even a cow."

Sniffle.

Open the last drawer.

Slam it shut.

Sniffle.

"Goddammit! Where is the fucking?—"

The door to the apartment is shoved open and August runs through it, coming to a halt in the middle of the living room. "Ella?"

"WHAT?" I shout a little too loudly, tears streaming down my face in frustration.

His eyes are like saucers as he stares at me, taken aback by my less than cheery demeanor. "Are you okay?"

"Do I LOOK okay to you?" I cry.

"What happened?"

Sniffle.

Sniffle.

"WHERE is the fucking bottle opener?"

He nods with a lift of his chin. "On the counter by the stove."

"You know it would be nice if you would fucking put things away when you're done using them so I'm not spending all hours of the fucking night looking for a damn bottle opener that was supposed to be in the first drawer to the left in the first place!"

Yep, I'm aware that came out a little strong but I'm on a pissy roll. Can't stop now.

Huffing out a breath, I grab the opener that's been sitting in front of my face this whole time and roughly pop off the cap to my beer and then take a long well-deserved swig.

"Ella?"

Sniffle.

"I am not a prude!" I snap.

I notice the slightest narrowing of Auggie's brow before he cocks his head. "Okay."

"And I'm not a bad kisser either." I pull open the kitchen drawer where the bottle opener is supposed to go and throw it inside, slamming the drawer with my hip.

Because that's what decent people do!

They put things away!

"That mother fucker can fuck all the way off and go straight to Hell. That's what he can do! How dare he think I'm not good enough for him? I can kiss! I'm fucking good at it." My heart pounds in my chest as heat flushes through my body. My eyes are already a puffy mess from crying I'm sure. I'm not proud of it, but it's who I am.

I cry when I'm mad.

I cry when I'm sad.

I cry when I'm happy.

I'm a fucking crier.

And while I'm at it, let's just add a super red throwing-a-tantrum face too because that's…pretty.

"Did he hurt you, Ella?" August asks me with a mixture of sincere concern and malice to his voice. "Because I swear to God if he hurt you, I'll kill him."

Staring at my best friend from across the room, I find it increasingly difficult to hold back my tears. I grab for a tissue and blow my nose while shaking my head to let him know that no, Heath didn't hurt me.

Well, he hurt my ego, but physically, I'm fine.

"What happened? Tell me what he said."

Sniffle.

Sniffle.

"We were having a great time together," I start. "Dinner was good. He was great at conversation. Knew his manners and was a perfect gentleman."

"Alright."

"And then we went to play mini golf and we had a great time there too," I say tearfully, my voice breaking. "And then since I drove myself he wanted to give me a goodnight kiss in the parking lot after golf and I said yes and so he kissed me and…and…why do these things always seem to happen to me?"

"What? What happened?" August hasn't moved an inch since he walked through the door and stopped in the middle of the room. His stare has been a mixture of horror, confusion, and curiosity as I replay my night but because this night has been so shitty I can't help but look at him and see the man who had me in his bed just a few nights ago. His hands on my body and my lips so close to his but then chose not to kiss me.

What happened?

You didn't choose me.

And neither did Heath.

"He kissed me, Auggie. And it was like kissing a fucking wet sloppy dog."

"Oo…kay…" He tries his best not to react but I know he's wondering what the hell is going on.

"But then he had the audacity to question my kissing ability."

"He what?"

"Yeah! He pulled away and tipped his head and said, ‘hmm interesting.' And I asked what he meant by that and he actually fucking said to me, ‘Well, it's not like that was awful but it just wasn't…what I was expecting.' And so, I asked what he was expecting and he said he expected a whole lot more tongue because he likes his women wet and spitty and that wasn't quite enough for him but then maybe he could train me to give him what he wanted."

Auggie's face contorts. "The fuck?"

"RIGHT? That's what I said! And then he fucking asked me if I was a prude! So, I slapped his face and told him to fuck all the way off and got in my car and came home."

"Fucking right you did," he says with a proud smirk.

"But…but…" My chin trembles and tears fall from my eyes all over again as I sob to my best friend. "But I've never had a guy tell me I'm a bad kisser before and he was essentially telling me I wasn't good enough at it for him and then you didn't kiss me the other night either and I thought you were going to but then you didn't so now I'm not good enough for you and I'm not good enough for Heath and I've clearly never been good enough for any of the guys I've been with or else I wouldn't have had to tell you that I've never had a goddamn orgasm without the help of a finger or toy!" I finally inhale, but then blurt, "And I tried to be all brave and strong in front of him, but dammit, sometimes enough is enough!" I stomp my foot. "What's a girl got to do to find a guy who will treat them the way they deserve to be treated? And how the hell is it so easy for you and it's not for me?"

August doesn't respond.

He merely stares at me from ten feet away.

His shoulders rise and fall with each of his breaths and I watch his Adam's apple bob as he swallows. I have no idea what he's thinking but I see his jaw tick once, and then twice, and then he's moving.

He's moving toward me.

"I'm sorry," I tell him, casting my eyes down to my hand that's still around the neck of my beer bottle. "I know I'm just being an emotional girl and I didn't mean to?—"

"Shut up," he says.

I lift my head to find him much closer to me, his body moving with purpose, the expression on his face one of resolve.

"But—"

It's the only word I get out of my mouth before August is right in front of me, sliding his hand into my hair, cupping my face with his other hand, and crashing his lips to mine.

What the…

Catching me off guard, I nearly fall backwards against the cabinet but he steadies both of us with a wrap of his strong arm around my waist and then backs us up so I'm effectively trapped against the kitchen counter. The bottle slips from my hand and tips over on the counter but August is quick to push it into the sink, his other hand never leaving my body.. I brace my hands against his rock-hard chest, letting them slide down his abdomen until I'm clutching the fabric of his soft t-shirt.

His lips move against mine hungry at first, like he needs every breath I have inside me. I willingly part my lips for him and he softens, moaning against my mouth.

He. Just. Moaned. Against. My. Mouth.

This is really fucking happening.

August Blackstone is kissing me.

With his thumb on my chin, he repositions my head to the side and takes full advantage of the better access, dipping his tongue into my welcoming mouth. I swipe my tongue against his and he moans again.

And suddenly I'm not so sure this is a pity kiss.

Because he's not stopping.

And he's using tongue.

Oh, my God, August's tongue.

Finally letting myself take a little of what I've wanted for a long time, I tighten my grip on his shirt and kiss him back with a little more fervor and a lot more desire. And every moment of it is the most amazing thing I've ever experienced.

He tastes like beer and pizza and I don't even know if this is real anymore or if I'm dreaming all this but just in case it is a dream, I take advantage of the moment while I can. I sneak a hand up the back of his t-shirt, gripping his muscled back, and he responds by pulling me closer against him. Close enough that I can feel his growing length beneath his sweats.

Dear Jesus…how did I not know just how big my best friend is?

What I wouldn't give to touch it.

To give it a squeeze.

To see it with my own two eyes.

His lips are so soft as he moves against mine, sucking in my bottom lip, caressing my tongue with his, and holding me to him as if I might really be his.

The feeling is remarkable and one I wish so badly I could revel in.

I wish I could be his.

After all these years spent as best friends, August knows me inside and out.

He knows everything about me.

And I know everything about him.

It's like we were meant to be together but have denied ourselves all this time.

This kiss gives me hope.

Hope that maybe crossing the line from friends to lovers wouldn't be the end of the world.

Scary? Yes.

Doable? Perhaps.

"Fuck," he mutters, pulling himself from me just as swiftly as he started, his forehead resting against mine. His breaths fast and sharp as his chest heaves. He bites his top lip as he stares at the ground, refusing to look at me. And he doesn't say a word more.

Yeah that's what I thought.

Too good to be true.

He doesn't want this.

He doesn't want me.

He didn't mean any of it.

I guess it really was just a dream.

And then without warning he nods and mumbles something that sounds like "Yeah, okay" and then wraps his arms around my thighs. He lifts me up and then sets me on the kitchen counter. He opens my legs and steps in between them, cups my face in his hands, and kisses me all over again, but this time he's soft and slow, less demanding, like he's getting to know my lips, my tongue, and my mouth for the very first time. Like this kiss means something to him.

Enjoying the persuasive touch of his lips, I groan against him wishing he would do so much more than kiss me. Blood pounds my brain and my body ignites with every swipe of his tongue inside my mouth as I envision him pleasuring me the way he described in bed a few nights ago.

"Fuck, I'd be desperate for her. Desperate to taste her, to hear her pleasured moans. I'd have her wetter for me than she's ever been…fucking glistening…and then I'd part those soft pink lips with my fingers and drag my tongue over her sweet cunt in one long languid stroke."

Moisture pools between my legs as I sigh into his kiss. I'm aching for relief but can't even rub my legs together for a little friction because of where August is standing.

Trying to gain some sort of pressure, I wrap my legs around August's waist, pulling him tightly against the bottom cabinets and hooking my heels together at my ankles. His hand tugging lightly on my hair, he brings his other hand to the small of my back and then down to my ass holding me against him.

Holy shit.

I can feel him.

His erection presses against my center and I moan into his mouth, reveling in the pressure.

Knowing exactly what I need, he wastes no time sneaking a hand underneath my dress, his fingers playing with the hem of my pink satin panties.

My drenched pink satin panties.

"Tell me to stop, Ella."

I hear his plea but his touch feels so good and I don't have the willpower to say no to him.

"Ella…"

When I don't push him away or tell him no, he slides his hand over my thigh, a feathered touch as he inches higher and higher.

"I mean it, El," he breathes. "I need you to tell me to stop."

I shake my head slowly, my heart pounding inside my chest, and whisper, "I can't do that."

He watches my face as his hand cups my warm wet pussy and I sigh audibly, biting down on my lower lip when he slides a finger through my arousal.

"August!"

"Shhh." He places a finger over my lips and then kisses them for good measure. He backs away from me but only enough to lift my leg and position my foot onto his shoulder. "You didn't tell me to stop."

Silently, I shake my head one more time, internally pleading with him to continue.

"You know I'm not done," he says. "I'm so far from done."

Again, I say nothing so he has zero reason to stop or walk away. He slowly spreads my legs farther apart and then peppers lazy lingering kisses up my thigh. He lifts my other leg, positioning my foot against his right shoulder and then peers down at my soaking wet pink panties. Hooking his thumb inside them, he moves them aside and licks his lips at the vision before him.

"Fucking Christ, you're beautiful."

And then his tongue is swiping through me, first in one long languid stroke just like he described, but then he goes back for more, trailing his tongue through my arousal, licking me, tasting me, pleasuring me. And I am dead.

I've died and gone to heaven.

Heaven is August Blackstone devouring my pussy.

Heaven is August's tongue dipping inside me, lapping at my arousal, and then swirling around my clit over and over and over again until I've lost all ability to form coherent thoughts.

Heaven is the relentless flicking of August's tongue against my clit while his fingers curl inside me.

Heaven is a white-hot heat spreading through my entire body until I'm coming so hard I damn near pass out.

Heaven is August holding my legs and kissing my neck, my cheeks, my forehead, and my lips before saying, "You are the furthest thing from a bad kisser, Ella Montgomery. And I'll be damned if a man ever treats you like that again because from here on out, the only person you'll be kissing…the only person who will be anywhere close to the sweetest pussy I've ever eaten in my whole goddamn life, will be me."

Heaven is August Blackstone carrying me to his room, stripping me down, and pulling one of his shirts over my head and then snuggling me in his bed for the rest of the night.