15. August

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

AUGUST

G od only knows what time it is, but my eyes lazily open as I recall the sexiest dream I think I've had in a long time. Ella on my kitchen counter, her legs hoisted up to my shoulders, her breathy gasps as I made her come on my tongue.

Fuck, did she taste amazing.

And her body…

Perfection.

Best damn dream of my life.

And then movement brings my attention to the person lying next to me in my bed. The woman whose head rests on my chest. The one sleeping in my t-shirt. Visions of my stripping Ella down and sliding my t-shirt over her head before slipping into bed with her replay through my mind and suddenly my heart starts racing and my body heats.

It wasn't a dream.

Last night happened.

Ella crying…

Ella shouting…

Ella crying some more…

I kissed her…

Fuck, did I kiss her.

And then I…

"Fuuuuck," I silently whisper, shoving my hands through my hair trying to remember everything we said to one another. Everything I did to her.

"The only person who will be anywhere close to the sweetest pussy I've ever eaten in my whole goddamn life, will be me."

Oh God.

What have I done?

I crossed the line.

I crossed the line big time.

She may have seemed okay with it, but did I even give her a fucking choice?

My pulse thunders inside my chest and I wonder how it hasn't yet woken up Ella who continues to sleep peacefully using my chest as her pillow. Now that I'm keenly aware that her head is on my chest, I'm finding it difficult to catch my breath. My chest is tightening like I can't seem to get enough oxygen.

Is my hand going numb?

I wiggle my fingers and toes and all seems to be in fine working order.

Fuck, it's hot in here.

Am I going crazy?

Is that what's happening?

I kissed my best friend…no, I more than kissed her. I finger fucked her, and now I'm going bat shit crazy?

I squeeze my eyes shut and tell myself that everything is fine. This is all fine. She'll wake up and be blissfully happy and we'll figure something out.

It's fine.

Totally fine.

Alright, worst-case scenario.

No. I don't want to think about the worst case.

Shit. But now I can't stop thinking about it.

I need the guys.

I need them to tell me I did the right thing and everything is going to work out fine.

Quietly picking up my phone from my bedside table, I send a message to our group text chat.

Me

MAYDAY! MAYDAY!

Me

MAY FUCKING DAY!

Me

PLEASE LET THIS BE A DAY WHERE YOU ARE ALL UP EARLY!

Bear

Well, I wasn't but the incessant dings on my phone have now woken me up.

Harrison

Moving a little slow, but I'm up. What's going on?

Ledger

I'm up watching sports tv. Did you guys hear about Bodhi Roche? The kid scored every goal for his team last night.

Oliver

This better be good Blackstone. I'm giving up morning head for this.

Griffin

Dude, we can't see you, Magallan. If you need morning head, get it! What's going on Auggie?

Me

I kissed Ella.

Bear

That's your mayday?

Griffin

DUDE! That's huge! Way to go soldier!

Ledger

Yeah man! You made the move. Congrats!

Oliver

What brought that on? When Scarlett and I saw her, she was crying.

Me

Date gone wrong. The son of a bitch told her she was a bad kisser.

Harrison

Ouch. What a douche.

Griffin

Bastard. Who is this guy. I'd like to kick his ass for her.

Me

Yeah. She was in one of those moods where she was just ranting about this guy and then brought up the other night in Vancouver when I was telling her about pleasuring my partners and how she thought I was going to kiss her but then I didn't kiss her and then she said I didn't want her either and she felt like the biggest loser and I couldn't fucking help myself. She looked so fucking sad and me not wanting her is the farthest thing from the truth.

Bear

So, you kissed her instead of talking to her.

Me

Yeah. And I may have done more than kiss her.

Griffin

What's that supposed to mean?

Ledger

I mean are we talking like you kissed her and then made her a sandwich after or…?

Bear

Did you take her to Pound Town but the gate was locked and you couldn't gain access?

Ledger

LOL @Bear! Yeah, did you get lost looking for the Pussy District?

Me

I, in fact, found the Pussy District, thank you very much. And it was…everything.

Harrison

You fucked her?

Me

I…Not with my dick if that means anything.

Oliver

It doesn't. You still crossed that line.

Me

Yeah.

Oliver

Aaaand? What did she say?

Me

I didn't let her say much of anything. I just felt it in my soul and did what I thought felt right. She wasn't complaining nor did she ask me to stop. So I did my thing and then told her the only person who goes near her pussy from here on out is me.

Griffin

Aaaand??

Me

And then I took her to my room, helped her out of her clothes, slipped one of my t-shirts over her head, and cuddled her for the night. She wanted to talk about it but I told her to just relax for the night and that we'd talk about it in the morning.

Oliver

For what it's worth Scarlett just said "Awwwww."

Griffin

So, you finally made the move. You went for it and she didn't deny you.

Bear

Right. So, what's the mayday again?

Me

What if I'm making a huge fucking mistake? What if she doesn't want this? I didn't just cross the line with her. I fucking erased the line altogether. The line no longer exists.

Ledger

Alright let's play worst case scenario. What's the very worst that could happen?

Me

She could wake up and tell me I've ruined any resemblance of a friendship we once had and that she doesn't want me and move out of my life for good.

Griffin

That's highly unlikely. What else?

Me

She could tell me last night meant nothing and didn't feel good at all and that she faked the orgasm I gave her.

Griffin

Bro, you either tongue fucked her or finger fucked her so some part of you was inside her when she came. You'd know if she faked it. Did she fake it?

Me

No.

Griffin

So that scenario is out too. Next?

Me

She could tell me she loves me and then rip my heart out six weeks or six months or even six years from now.

Harrison

That one is always the risk my friend. She could do exactly those things. But then so could you.

Me

Never. I'd never do that to her. I'd never hurt her. Not intentionally anyway.

Bear

Best case scenario?

Me

She loves me. Falls in love with me and we get married one day and have the best sex of our lives that creates a future brood of Blackstones and we live out our days together for the rest of our lives.

Griffin

Not that he's given this any thought whatsoever! LOL

Oliver

August, I think you're going to be fine and I think you can take a deep breath. You can't take back what happened last night, but you said it felt right and she wasn't saying no so…it sounds like you're all good.

Harrison

Right. Now you two need to talk it out. This part isn't something we can solve for you. It's up to the two of you.

Griffin

Where is Ella now?

Me

Laying on my chest sound asleep.

Griffin

Then put the phone down, asshat, and hold on to her because she's the best thing to ever happen to you.

I peer down at the beautiful woman resting next to me and huff out a soft and quiet laugh.

Griffin

And I swear to God if you let her get away or do something stupid to lose her, I'm going to be pissed as hell.

Ledger

Same.

Harrison

Yep.

Oliver

Scarlett agrees.

I read Griffin's last message to myself no less than three times, each time calming myself down a little more until his words sink in.

This is fine.

I did the right thing.

This can be okay.

I glance down at Ella whose breathing remains even and calm and then send a quick reply to my friends.

My family.

Me

Thanks guys. I really needed this.

Griffin

We're family. That's what we're here for.

I lay my phone back down and then wrap my arm around Ella's warm body. She shuffles a bit and then says, "Are you done freaking out yet?"

My body stiffens. "Uh, What?"

She giggles silently against my body. "You were texting the guys."

"You saw that?"

"When you're holding your phone out in front of you, all I had to do was open my eyes and I could read everything. Pussy District, huh?"

Oh, fuck me.

I can't believe she read that.

My cheeks heat and there's an emptiness in the pit of my stomach that does not feel good. My mouth goes dry and I'm not sure what to say next so I blurt out the first thing that comes to my mind.

"Let me hear ya say heeeyyyyyy! We want some pussaaaaaay." I even wave my hands in the air like I just don't care. And all I get is a blank stare followed by Ella's burst of laughter that thankfully breaks the ice and makes her smile.

"You are…unbelievable!" She cackles. "Throwing me some 2 Live Crew this early in the morning?"

I rub my hand down my face and laugh a little with her. "Honestly, it was just the first thing to come to my mind, but I'm glad I could give you something to laugh at. Laughter looks so much better on you than sadness."

Her smile fades a bit and she tips her head to look at me, her thumb rubbing against my bare skin. I won't lie, the physical contact is nice.

"I guess now is as good a time as any, huh?"

"For what?"

"To talk about last night," she says through the crackle of her morning voice. "You know, rip off the band aid and all."

"We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

Wrong answer, dumbass.

You should talk about it.

You need to talk about it.

"You kissed me, Auggie," she states matter-of-factly, as if she's telling me the sky is blue or that the Pope is Catholic.

"Yeah…uh…about that."

Her hand stops moving and she rests her palm on my stomach. "Auggie?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm going to need you to consider what you're about to say next because like it or not, I'm dangerously close to your penis right now so your next sentence could end in one of two ways."

Shit. I think I love this girl.

She doesn't beat around the bush.

And even though last night was a bit of a cluster fuck of emotions, she still has space in her heart to have a sense of humor.

"My dick is yours for the taking, Ella," I tell her. Reaching down to her chin, I tip her head up so I can see her eyes. "But what I was going to say was that last night was one of the best nights of my life and I don't regret a damn thing."

Her eyes grow and her brows lift. "You don't?"

I shake my head. "No. Why, do you?"

On the outside I'm the coolest, calmest person I can be for my best friend, but on the inside, fuck. I'm a nervous fucking wreck.

"No Auggie," she says shaking her head as well.

Thank Christ.

"I'm sorry I yelled about the bottle opener though."

Her apology causes me to laugh. "Babe, I don't give a damn about the bottle opener. It was my fault it was left out. I may have had a few too many beers last night waiting for you."

"You waited for me?"

I shrug. "I may or may not have panicked about you being on a date last night."

She pulls her body up to a sitting position next to me and lays her hand on my thigh connecting us with the slightest touch. "Oh no! You did?"

I nod.

"Auggie, why didn't you say something?"

I fiddle with a few strands of her hair, winding them around my finger, feeling the softness against my skin. "Because it's not my place to tell you how to live your life and you were so excited to be going on a date. I wasn't going to be the one to ruin that for you."

"But you didn't want me to go?"

"Pfft." I chuckle. "Are you kidding me? Ella, I would've given my left nut for you to not go."

"Hey, let's not go too far now, okay?" She pats my thigh lovingly. "Your nuts are valuable. But…" She shakes her head, her brows furrowing. "I guess I just don't understand. I thought…" She pauses for a moment. "I thought you didn't want me?"

Passing her a shy smile, I ask, "Whatever gave you that idea?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe it was the unattractive tits remark a while back coupled with the other night in Vancouver when you didn't kiss me. I really thought you were going to kiss me."

Fuck.

She's right.

I've given her reason to doubt any kind of attraction I have for her.

"Come here," I tell her, patting my lap. She turns herself toward me and swings a leg over my lap so she's straddling me. Fuck, it's nice. Really nice. I reach up and smooth her hair away from her face.

"Ella, if I'm being honest, I've thought about kissing you since the first fucking day you moved in here."

"You have?"

"Mhmm. But then I put my foot in my damn mouth that first night and we sort of argued. And I hated that I hurt you and figured there was no way in hell you would be interested and plus there was no way I was going to risk our friendship just because I hadn't gotten laid in a while and was a little horny."

She lifts a brow, questioning my words, but I continue.

"But then I realized I wasn't just horny. I had feelings. Real honest to God feelings. So, when I saw how sad you were last night after your date and that I had even an inkling to do with that sadness, I threw caution to the wind and did what I should've done a long time ago."

"You ate me out on your kitchen counter," she states. "That's what you should've done a long time ago?" The corner of her mouth turns up and fuck if she isn't the most adorable person on the planet.

"Well, I meant I should've kissed you a long time ago. Eating you on my kitchen counter wasn't planned, but I needed to make you feel good. I wanted to make you feel good." I cup her face in my hands and angle her head so she sees the sincerity in my eyes. "And I meant what I said when I told you it was the sweetest pussy I've ever eaten in my whole goddamn life."

She stops me with her palm to my chest. "I don't want to know about any of the other pussies you've eaten, alright? Can we just pretend mine is the only one?"

"As far as I'm concerned, babe, yours is the only one I'll ever remember. The first one I've ever wholly enjoyed and the last one I'll ever lick for the first time."

She gives me a shy smile and her cheeks pinken as I stare back at her.

"Auggie?"

"Yeah?"

"What if I told you I slept better last night than I've ever slept in my entire life?"

"You did?"

"Mhmm."

"Me too. I literally thought I was dreaming about last night until I woke up and you were in my arms."

She glances down at her hands and then returns my gaze. "So where do we go from here? We kind of crossed a big line last night."

I inhale a deep breath and release it with an understanding nod. "We did. I did."

"We did," she corrects me, nodding.

"How does that make you feel?"

"Is it weird if I say it's a little bit scary but feels a whole lot right?"

I shake my head. "Not weird at all. Hence my panic text with the guys," I tell her, passing her a resigned smile. "The feelings I've had for you these last several weeks have been making me feel confused as hell. You're my best friend, Ella. I didn't think this would ever be a place we would come to."

"Me either," she says. "But I think somewhere in my heart and in my mind, I kind of always hoped we would. But also, I'm scared, Auggie. If this gets messed up…"

"It won't," I answer, smoothing my thumb across her cheek and down her jawline. "I'll never hurt you, Ella. You mean too much to me."

"So, this is it then?" she asks. "You and me. Me and you."

"There's nobody else, Ella. I think it's always been you and me. Me and you. We just had to stop denying ourselves. I don't think I can be your friend anymore. I see you as so much more than that."

She takes a deep breath and lets out an audible sigh and then smiles at me. "So, you're breaking up with me now?"

"Yeah." I chuckle. "Our lifelong friendship is officially over. You're my girl. My partner. My lover. And one day my wife if I have anything to say about it."

Whoa.

I just called Ella my wife and I didn't flinch, gag, or even get nauseous.

And neither did she.

She leans forward and kisses my lips softly and then pulls back. "Deal. What's next?"

"We go where we want to go, El. We're adults. There's nobody to tell us we can't or shouldn't feel the way we feel or that we can't or shouldn't do whatever we want to do."

"And what is it you want to do, exactly?" She teasingly climbs my chest with her fingers and doesn't meet my gaze. Watching her movements as her touch climbs my body I say the one thing that's been on my mind I'm certain will grab her attention.

"What if I told you I want to give you the biggest orgasm of your life with my dick so you know how great sex is supposed to feel? And that I want to do it again, and again, and again, until you can't walk straight."

The smile that spreads across her face makes me smile in response.

Like I said, I knew that would grab her attention.

She pats my chest with her hands three times and then says, "And what if I told you that after a strong cup of coffee and perhaps brushing my teeth I'll nibble on your dick like a rat does cheese?"

I burst out laughing at her 2 Live Crew reference and then wrap my arms around her body and roll us until I have her on her back. I kiss her one more time and then smile at her, rubbing my nose against hers. "I like a girl who can talk dirty to me."