Chapter 19

CHAPTER 19

Good News

C link, clink, clink!

Everyone looked at James as he clinked on his glass with a knife. The Viscount Northwood stood up to address the table.

"I will make this quick as I know we all want to dig into this delicious supper provided by Lord and Lady Prevost. There is something we wish to share with you, and I shall have my beautiful wife share that with you."

The Viscount sat back down, and Grace stood up to address everyone.

"Thank you, my love," Grace said.

Leah should have been happy. She suspected she knew the news to come, but hearing her sister so easily refer to her husband and my love made her jealous. She would not have love, and when they were married and living apart, Solomon would likely have a woman in his bed every night except for the nights when she had to do her duty and provide him with an heir.

"We have some exciting news to share with you, and we are glad we could all be together tonight to share this wonderful news with you. As my beloved said, we want to keep this short so we can enjoy this food, so here goes. I am with child."

Augusta gasped immediately, and she almost knocked her chair over as she got to her feet. She bumped into Leah's chair, knocking her forward a little as she rushed to get to her oldest daughter. She was practically in tears when she hugged Grace.

"Wonderful news!" Ernest boomed. He also got up from his chair but headed in the opposite direction toward the door. "I still have some of my good cognac left. We shall have some to celebrate."

Solomon took it upon himself to get up and congratulate the Viscount. Leah followed him from his chair.

Solomon shook James' hand. "I am very happy for you."

"Thank you, Your Grace. That means a lot to me. I look forward to saying the same to you sometime in the future."

The Duke grunted in reply.

Leah stepped past them and joined Bridget and Christianna, who had both gone to the pregnant woman. Leah caught her sister's eyes once Grace had embraced Bridget, and Leah went in for a hug next.

"Oh, I am so happy for you," Leah whispered. "You were right; this is wonderful news."

"Shh," Grace whispered back. "You can't let anyone know that I let you know there was to be good news tonight. You know how jealous we can all get."

"Everyone is far too happy to worry about that," Leah replied.

"So, should we mention that I told you there would be a surprise tonight?" Grace asked as the embrace ended.

"No, you better not," Leah replied.

She turned around and congratulated the Viscount, noticing that Solomon was the only person who had returned to their chair. Leah left the fray and went to join him.

"Are you feeling fine?" she asked. "You look troubled."

"Here you go, Your Grace," Ernest said before the Duke could answer.

Ernest handed Solomon a glass of cognac and then walked over to James with a second glass. He held a third for himself. Ernest gestured toward the door, and a maid entered with a tray laden with a decanter and some small glasses.

"Some sherry for the ladies," Ernest said. "Not for Grace, of course, but for everyone else. My dear, Grace. Can I get you something special to drink?"

"What I have is just fine, Father," she replied.

"This is one of the most joyous days of my life," Ernest said. "I am to be a grandfather for the first time, and that is a truly wonderful thing. Please raise your glasses in a toast to Grace and James."

"To Grace and James!"

Everyone took a drink.

The mood remained jovial through supper, but Leah could not help but sense a sadness in Solomon. She knew it was not her place to make him happy when their marriage was to be one of convenience, but she still wanted to try.

When they had met in the library, he had to make her happy and help with her problems. They might not be a loving couple, but if they were to live together and be married, that meant being there for each other even if they would live apart.

"Perhaps you can accompany me on a walk this evening?" Leah asked the Duke when the dessert was served.

"Of course," the Duke said plainly. "I can ask Christianna to chaperone us."

"Chaperone you?" Grace asked from the other side of the table. "Why, you are practically married. Father, Leah does not need a chaperone, does she? Not when they are engaged, surely?"

"Why must you force me into a decision, Grace?" Ernest asked. "No, I suppose not. I trust His Grace implicitly, and you, too, Leah. And I would not want to take Christianna from Bridget. No, I am sure they will be fine on their own."

Leah knew the walk was about nothing else than talking with Solomon, but she could not help but feel the familiar thrill that ran through her body at the thought of spending time alone with the Duke. Whenever they had spent time alone, she had been made to feel wonderful. And with that came the rushing feelings that she hoped to mask with the intimacy she craved with the Duke.

Leah sat with her dessert, a trifle with extra berries, and watched the Duke. She did not know what his mood meant.

Is he perturbed by the news? Does he not want to start a family?

That would be worse for Leah. He did not have feelings for her, and if he didn't want to start a family with her, then what use was she?

She spooned a serving of jelly, sponge cake, raspberries, and custard into her mouth, but it didn't taste sweet. Perhaps the mood was contagious. Leah should have been as happy as a clam that she would soon be an aunt, but all she could think about was the Duke's rotten mood.

All she could think about was the Duke.

Leah put her spoon back in her bowl, unable to stomach most of her trifle. She sat in silence as everyone else, except the Duke, chatted around her. When dessert was finally done, Grace gave Leah a look, urging her to walk alone with the Duke.

"Shall we take our walk?" Leah asked Solomon.

Solomon nodded. He stood up from the table and excused both him and Leah. Leah followed him through the house and out the side door. He stopped on the verandah to look out into the coming night.

"It is beautiful out right now," Leah commented.

"It is a fine night," the Duke replied.

"Can you hear the birds still singing in the trees?" Leah continued.

"Perhaps," the Duke said.

Leah stepped closer to him on the verandah, unsure whether she should reach out and touch him. They were alone again, but this time, it was different.

"You look splendid tonight, Solomon." He was dressed incredibly well, as always.

"You don't have to do that when we are alone," the Duke replied.

"I mean it," Leah clarified. She glanced at the Duke as he continued to stare out toward the trees. "You look very handsome in your evening attire. I am sure I am not the only person who noticed."

"With the pregnancy announcement, I am sure no one noticed anything except for that," the Duke replied.

Is that really what he is unhappy about?

"We will have a family soon," Leah tried.

"Is that what you want?" the Duke asked.

Leah continued to stare at Solomon, but he did not turn to look at her.

"Yes, of course," Leah replied.

The Duke shifted his weight but continued to stare straight ahead. "That is what you want in life? This is all you have dreamed of?"

"What do you mean? I know this is not how we both envisioned our lives unfolding, but we can make this work, can't we? You will have the dowry, and we will live a good life together. I know we can be happy."

Leah was not sure if that was true, but she needed to make him feel better. She was promised to him, and part of that duty was to support him no matter what. She had to help him.

Oh, no!

"How did your business go?" Leah asked, trying to distract herself.

Solomon shook his head. "I came to speak with you about it when I returned, but you were with your sister, and I never got the chance. The business went well, and I shall return to my estate tomorrow."

"Oh," Leah replied. "You will leave so soon? What… what does that mean? It went well? Does that mean that…"

You won't need the dowry, and you can be done with me?

"It means that I shall not force you into doing anything you don't want to do," the Duke told her.

Leah opened her mouth to speak, but she closed it when she realized what he meant. He was not talking about a kiss this time but about their future. He had enough money from the business deal to call off the wedding.

"I can make the business deal work," the Duke said. "It will take longer, and we will struggle a little more, but we will be fine. I am willing to do that for your happiness, Leah. You should not have to do something that makes you unhappy. I heard you talking with your sister, and I know how much this weighs on you. You will live a good life with me, but I can't give you what you need. I can give you your happiness."

The comment hit Leah like a bolt to the heart. She had not expected him to be so frank about it.

He cares for me enough to let me go, but not so much that he wants to spend his life with me. And he tells me this at the moment I figure out I have feelings for him! Do I really want to spend my life with a man who will never return my feelings?

"I am tired of this acting, and I know you are, too," the Duke continued. "I have been working hard for my family since my father died, and I have not stopped to think about what I want. It is time for me to think about my happiness."

"What does that mean?" Leah asked.

The Duke shook his head again. "I don't know."

"I'm really trying here," Leah snapped. "You want me to be happy, and I want you to be happy. So, what will make you happy?"

Solomon finally turned to look at her. She had never seen him like that before, and the look in his eyes was one of sorrow, not just sadness.

"I don't know anymore what will make me happy," Solomon admitted. "I have never said that to anyone before. I know how they look at me with my drinking and boisterous behavior and women—they see me laughing and smiling and singing, but what is it all for? It does not help my family. It does not undo what my father did."

"It does help your family." Leah was startled that she was justifying the behavior she had loathed a week ago. "It takes the pain and stress away, and it has allowed you to help everyone. Without taking care of yourself, you can't care for others."

"You believe how I live my life is taking care of myself?" the Duke asked.

"I… in a way, it is. I don't agree with it, and that is what I should think about it, but you have still used it to do good. Is that what you want? Do you want to continue your life so you can create a good life for your family? For me?"

"I don't know," Solomon admitted. "I have never been in this position before where I am so unsure of how to move ahead. I think we both need some time to think about what is best for us and those around us."

"Some time apart?" Leah asked.

"I am to return to my estate anyway, so nothing changes," the Duke told her.

Leah was ready for him to leave and return to his estate, but she wasn't ready for some time apart. It was far more ominous, and there was only uncertainty in the future.

Can I change him? Can I have him love me as I am… falling in love with him? You are a fool, Leah! I have basically instructed him to go back to sleeping with other women to be helpful, and now, I want to make him love me.

Leah did the only thing she could think of. She took the Duke's face in her hands and kissed him. She melted into his lips, tasting him one more time before he would leave. She wanted to remind him what he would be missing and have something to hold onto while he was gone.

The Duke grabbed her around the waist and pulled her body against his. Leah clutched onto the Duke and the feeling. She knew that as soon as it ended, the sadness would come rushing back. She wanted to fool herself into believing they were more than they were. She wanted a future with someone who loved her, and she wanted that man to be the Duke.

Their lips stuck together a little as they pulled apart, but they finally freed themselves from each other. Leah looked Solomon in the eyes, and he looked straight back at her. She wished he had looked away, for she saw he did not have the same feelings for her as she had for him.

"I am tired," the Duke told her. "I will retire to my room, and I have an early start in the morning."

"I can visit your room later if you like," Leah suggested.

"I need to sleep," Solomon said. "Take some time to think about what you really want, Leah. I shall do the same."

The Duke rested a hand on her cheek briefly before he returned inside.

Leah had not expected to have her heart broken by the Duke, but it had been torn to shreds.