Chapter 18

CHAPTER 18

Not Quite Enough

S olomon was elated, and all he could think about was sharing the news with Leah. She was the only one apart from Gilbert who knew he was in London on business, but it was not only because of that. He wanted to see her face when he assured her their future was set.

He entered the house and went in search of her. When he heard music playing, he went in that direction. He did not know there was a formal gathering of some sort.

He reached the large hall and looked in to see Christianna and Bridget practicing their dance steps while a harpist played in the corner.

He caught the eye of Augusta, sitting on a chaise lounge at the other end of the room. She looked at him warily, raising her eyebrows a little. He returned a smile that put her at ease. Solomon watched them until the music stopped. He did not think he had seen his sister dancing better than she had while he observed.

Christianna jumped up and down on the spot, and then she skipped over to Bridget, and the two of them bounced up and down in glee. When she spotted Solomon standing in the open doorway, she calmed herself and flashed a similar expression that Augusta had.

When Solomon smiled, Christianna beamed and bounced over toward him.

"Did you see me?" she squealed.

"I did, and you looked very graceful," Solomon told her.

Christianna smiled some more. "Bridget has taught me so much. I have never enjoyed dancing more, and I will be extra ready when I debut."

"I am glad you are coming along so well," Solomon said. "You will be beautiful when you debut, and I am very much looking forward to it."

"I am, too. You will be the envy of the town, and I shall have to protect you from all the fine young gentlemen who want your had."

"Well, don't protect me from all of them." Christianna pouted. "Perhaps we can let one, though, or I will never be married."

"Only if they are good enough," Solomon told her. "I am glad you are happy, Christianna."

"I am, Solomon. I am so very happy," Christianna agreed.

"Now, I came here looking for my betrothed. Do you have an idea where she might be?" Solomon asked.

"I know she was with her sister, Grace," Christianna said.

"They were walking in the garden," Bridget added. "I am sure it will be easy to find them. Our grounds are not as expansive as yours, Your Grace, though I do believe it is a great idea for us to have our own conservatory built."

"And when you are married, you can have whatever you wish in your grounds," Augusta added.

"I shall leave you all to discuss the finer details of garden structures," the Duke said.

He left the three women in the room. Everything was coming together. Christianna was getting on splendidly with the people who would become her extended family, and she would make a fine debut and no doubt be married soon. He would have the dowry from his own wedding, and his business would boost their growth in ways he had not imagined. The misery his father had created would be a thing of the past.

He needed to share all of it with Leah so he could celebrate properly.

"Good day, gentlemen," the Duke said when he exited through the back of the house and out onto the verandah.

"Ah, Your Grace," Ernest said. "Won't you join us?"

James looked eager for the Duke to join them, and Solomon found some happiness in the way he was welcomed into the family in different ways by different family members.

"I will soon," the Duke told them. "I must find Leah first and have a word with her. Did you see which way she and Grace went?"

James pointed. "They went that way."

"I believe they were circling the grounds," Ernest added. He pointed in the opposite direction. "They will return soon, so you are better going that way if you want to head them off."

"Thank you," Solomon said to both men. He took the steps down from the verandah onto the grass and headed in the direction Ernest had pointed. The conversation between the two men faded as he reached the corner of the building. He stopped when he heard his wife-to-be's voice.

"I don't know. I know more about him now and the troubles he has gone through. I don't know what he is capable of. Do you know how frustrating it has been for me? We have pretended in front of the family, and when we do, it is wonderful, and all I can dream about is really having that. Not having to pretend with Solomon, but that's all it is. I hate doing all of this. I hate all these pretenses, and I feel dirty lying to everyone. I don't know what I should do."

His heart broke when he heard Leah break into tears. He wanted to run around the corner and comfort her, but he was the source of her trouble. He was the source of her sadness.

He turned around and walked quickly back toward the verandah. He did not want Leah and Grace to catch him eavesdropping on their conversation, but he was glad he had. Leah had not been honest with him about how she was feeling, but now, he knew.

As he walked, that self-pity and frustration turned to anger within. She had no right to tell someone else how she felt when she couldn't tell him, especially when she had agreed to the wedding. If he had the power to break the engagement, he would do it for her, but he didn't have that power.

Unless… unless he sacrificed a piece of his future for her. There could be a way to make it all work and make her happy at the same time.

Fool! Why do I care about her happiness if I break the engagement? Why does she get what she wants, and I don't get what I want? I need the dowry. She made a promise, and she should stick to it!

"I don't like putting on a show, either! Does she think any of this is easy for me?" the Duke muttered.

"Your Grace, is everything well?" Ernest asked, standing on the edge of the verandah and looking down.

Solomon forced himself to chuckle. "Yes, I am fine. You must think I am quite mad standing down here and talking to myself."

"I would be a liar if I told you that I had not done so myself," Ernest said. "Is there anything you need?"

Yes, there is much I need, but you can't help with any of that.

"No, I will be fine," the Duke said.

I will have what I want for once in my life, and someone else can make the sacrifice.