Chapter 8

"Dude, you've got to push yourself until it hurts. Bad."

I watched with frustration as Cam did a few easy reps with a can of peaches I'd traded a runner a couple of doodles for. He just didn't seem to get it.

"The point is to push yourself," I continued, but he just stared at me with confusion swirling in his bright green eyes.

Cam frowned down at the can. "I don't see how this is going to help."

Glaring at him, I snatched the can out of his hand.

"Oh, it'll help when you get some meat on your bones, and the other guys realize you're not such a fucking easy target."

Why was I so pissed? This was Cam's life. It was his decision to take control of it and learn how to defend himself or not. But some small part of me knew that if I hadn't had my height these past years, I would've been Cam. Not caring about my appearance or strength. Resigned to a life I didn't want because it was the only one I was likely to get.

Fuck that.

"This is too easy for you." I tossed the peaches onto my bed and began loading cans of various sizes into the black duffel at my feet, pausing occasionally to test the weight. "I've learned a few things this past month, and you're going to learn them, too, or I'll be the one kicking your ass."

Cam grinned in a lopsided way that emphasized his oversized teeth. Watchers had to be at least twenty, but I had a feeling—given Cam's size—he still had some growing to do. It was like his body was just waiting to catch up to everyone else. If all I could do was help him get even a fraction stronger than he was, at least I would know I was on my way to repaying my debt.

"How's your back?"

Cam winced, rubbing his arm. "It's okay. They gave me some extra rations and helped me ice it after."

I nodded, not expecting much more after the public lashing we'd been forced to watch. It was hard to hear him talk about it, but I needed to hear this. Needed to know the cost of my idiocy. Sure, I'd protected Syl, but Cam had gotten hurt on my account, and I didn't like it. Not one fucking bit.

Why he'd taken the blame for the fire alarm was still beyond me. I'd have happily taken the lashes for Syl, but owning up to what I'd done so publicly would have meant a lot of attention. The exact sort of attention I wanted to avoid.

If I had any hope in hell of my plan succeeding, I needed to continue to be an easily ignored cog in the machine. So long as the machine kept running, you didn't look too closely at the cog, and you certainly wouldn't notice if it went missing.

At least Cam had agreed to come back to my room to train. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't kind of nice to have some company for a change. Even if my goal was to alienate everyone and everything from my sorry excuse for a life.

"Try this." I shoved the bag into Cam's arms, wincing when the air whooshed out of him on impact. "Sorry."

"That's okay. I can take a hit."

Sadly, I felt that was true, so I gentled my tone. "Hold the strap right in the middle with both hands facing up and pull it to your chin."

Cam did as I instructed, struggling to lift the weighted duffel. He looked at me for help, but I shook my head.

He struggled, but after a minute, he got the strap up to his chin and let it drop. Huffing, his face nearly as red as his hair, Cam set the bag down on his feet.

"Okay, are we done now?"

I grinned, retrieving the bag from the ground and handing it back to him. Reluctantly, he took it, bringing his eyes up to meet mine.

"We're just getting started, my man."

Cam came every day for two hours over the next week. After the fire alarm scare, I'd switched back to my usual shift watching the breeding parties, not willing to take a chance and arouse suspicion by hanging out in the dorm watcher's area.

That, and it was better if the guys there weren't too familiar with my face.

With muscles large enough to strain my previously baggy shirts, I was about ready to set my plan in motion. There were a few loose ends.

Like getting Jerry fired.

I almost felt bad sneaking into his office when he was asleep in his room, but then I remembered what a horny asshole Jerry was. Maybe I was doing the breeders of Pack 103C a service by getting him moved elsewhere.

I tucked the stolen breeding female's file between a desk leg and the wall, so it wasn't immediately visible. No one would think to look there. At least, they wouldn't until my anonymous tip reached Administrator Sampson.

When they located the file, they'd find a picture of the cherubic brunette circled by a red heart, with Jerry and Shelly scribbled beside it. It was the kind of immature shit you'd see from a childish crush, but it was the exact thing Administrator Sampson would crack down on.

We were observers.

Meant to watch.

Never to involve ourselves emotionally with our charges.

The irony of Jerry being an honest watcher while I was the one obsessed with Syl was not lost on me, and maybe that was why I was so certain this would get him reassigned.

A watcher becoming obsessed with someone on the screen wasn't unheard of, and Jerry was highly intelligent, if creepy. He'd be okay. They'd find another place for him.

Whereas, if they found out I planned to infiltrate the breeding program, I had no idea what they'd do, but the precedent it would set for the other watchers would not be tolerated.

Closing Jerry's door quietly behind me, I headed down the hallway and slipped an envelope into the brass mail slot set into Administrator Sampson's door. Inside held the details of where they could find the stolen file. Signed by a concerned pack member.

Since watching that asshole hurt Syl, it'd been torture keeping myself out of the dorm watcher's area, but I couldn't guarantee I wouldn't do something stupid again. Not if I saw her on screen with him. She'd survived this long. I just needed to trust that she would survive a little longer.

The sigh of relief I'd breathed when her name appeared on my breeding schedule had been enough to snuff out a sea of candles.

Not pregnant.She wasn't pregnant, which meant she wasn't going home. It was nearly time for the final phase of my plan.

I didn't have the heart to get Cam moved, nor did I feel I could tell him what I was about to do. I just had to hope my intended transformation and knowledge of the dorm's camera positions would be enough to escape his notice.

After all, who would believe a watcher would mix seamlessly into a breeding program?

With a grin curving my lips, I went next to the records office to rifle through the file cabinet until I found the next cycle's set of breeders coming into Pack 103C.

There he was—the breeder I was to replace. Thank fuck one of the new guys looked enough like me that it'd be passable. Tall with sandy blonde hair and blue eyes. Even his nose was similar to mine. We could've had the same father, and hell, maybe we did.

But there were a few things that needed changing.

First, I studied his haircut, preparing to replicate it on my own. Short on the sides and slightly longer on top, brushed forward across his forehead. Ideally, I'd use a shaver, but the scissors I'd gotten from Reg would have to do. Next, I pulled the black ink pen from my pocket and carefully adjusted a few of his numbers. He was six feet, but I was taller. Drawing a two after the six to give him the extra inches, I mimicked the printed font as best I could. Perfect.

Despite all my efforts, my weight was less than his, and at one-seventy-five, I was still skinny for my height. That one would have to go unchanged. At two hundred pounds, the man from the file's weight was out of my reach in the short time I had left.

Fuck it. I'd double up on shirts or something.

Convinced I'd done everything to the breeder's file to set me up for success, and taking one last look at the man whose identity I was about to assume, I slipped the file back into place and headed back to my room.

There was one more detail I needed to take care of, and I pulled out the letter I'd been working on. Thank fuck I'd gotten a good look at Administrator Sampson's signature on more than one occasion.

I finished the note with his signature, leaning into the end of the n to produce the darker splotch I'd seen him make, and finished with his customary flourish. Sitting back in my chair, I looked the note over, ensuring the handwriting was a good match for the Administrator's. Sebastian would be surprised to learn he wouldn't be needed for the breeding program after all, especially so close to when he was supposed to start, but he'd get over it. I wondered if my "brother" had been looking forward to his stint as a breeder or if he'd been dreading it.

Well, fuck him. He'd have another opportunity.

I wouldn't.

Good thing I knew a runner who would deliver my letter, no questions asked. Liam was a good kid. Recently separated from the family compound but too young to be assigned a role, he always lit up like a damned light bulb when I had a new assignment for him. I'd never known what it was to be a runner, not the sickly asthmatic boy, but it seemed like a good way to keep busy—delivering messages, earning a few extra tips along the way.

Liam would make a good guard—a role I'd never been considered for.

This was it. Everything was set in motion. There was no turning back. There was a spring in my step, and a thrill creeping up my spine as I headed back to my room.

In just one week, I'd be donning a mask.