Chapter 16

Sixteen

C arson rode beside his fellow Mounties as they escorted the wagons into the fort. Commanding Officer Morgan strode out to greet them. Carson introduced his family and fiancée.

“Welcome to you all. Please join me for dinner at seven.”

“Thank you,” Gabe said. “I hope we can be presentable.”

Morgan grinned. “I haven’t forgotten you’ve spent the last months crossing this great country in wagons. Come as you are.” He turned to Carson. “Do you have plans for where they will stay now that they’re here?”

“I’ve purchased a house in town. I’ll take them there.” He led them from the fort across the wide street to the town and up a side street to his house.

Ma barely waited for the wheels to stop rolling before she was on the ground and rushing inside.

Carson laughed at her exuberance for the place. “There are four bedrooms. I suppose you can all sleep here until you are able to get settled in your own places.”

Ma looked around. “Where are Ruby and Robert?”

Again, Carson laughed. “Maybe they want some time to themselves.” Had Robert filed on the land he wanted before anyone else claimed it? Both he and Robert were anxious to get on with the next phase of their lives. Happily, Carson knew the man interested in Robert’s quarter favored something closer to the mountains, so he wouldn’t likely be wanting the place Carson had chosen.

Ma, already busy organizing things to be carried into the house, didn’t respond.

Angie still sat on the wagon seat. Shouldn’t she be as eager to get unpacked at Ma? Or—his chest swelled—was she anxious to see their future home?

He climbed up beside her. “Tomorrow I will ask for time off and take you to the land I intend to file on. If it meets with your approval, I’ll sign the papers.”

She blinked and widened her eyes. “Why not do it the other way around? I trust your choice. File your claim, and then we can see our piece of land.”

“You’re sure?”

“Absolutely.”

“I’ll do that.”

Ruby and Robert joined them. Ruby’s eyes sparkled, and Robert couldn’t stop smiling.

Their happiness assured Carson his future would be equally bright. Robert spared time to inform Carson that his quarter had not yet been filed on.

He smiled often and laughed lots as he helped unpack the wagons. Soon crates lined the walls, and dishes formed stacks in the kitchen. He’d made sure there was a table and chairs. The bedrooms held bed frames with mattresses, but now they were made up with colorful quilts on each.

Ma assigned the rooms. “Louise, Cecil, and Dobie here.” She moved down the hall. “Gabe and I will take this one.” There was a little room off that bedroom. “Just right for Bertie.” He already sat on a cot, Limpy and the cats beside him.

“Mama say Alice stay outside.” He shook his head. “Alice not like it.”

“She’ll be fine,” Ma said. “You can make her a nice bed in the little barn. Maybe she’d feel better if Limpy slept with her.”

Carson smiled over how Ma tried to persuade Bertie to leave the dog outside.

Further down the hall, she pointed. “Irene and Walt.” At the fourth door, she hesitated. “Only one room left.”

Hazel caught Ma’s arm. “Joe and I and little Petey prefer to sleep outside if you don’t mind. Let Ruby and Angie have the bedroom.”

With her eyes sparkling, Ruby laughed. “It’s only for a few days until Robert and I get married and move to his homestead.” She hugged herself. “We can sleep in a wagon or a tent until we get a house built.”

Carson met Angie’s eyes across the room. Did she look as eager to get married as Ruby? As he was? Tomorrow, when he took her to their new home, he’d ask.

The meal with the commanding officer was pleasant. They regaled him with stories about their travels. But they soon departed to their own quarters.

Carson lingered long enough to ask for permission to be absent the next day and was granted it. He escorted the family back to the house, drawing Angie aside. “I’ll pick you up tomorrow after breakfast.”

“I can’t wait.” Her soft words, laced with eagerness, sang inside his heart.

“I can’t either.”

He hurried back to his quarters, grabbed clean clothes, and filled a tin tub with water that barely had the chill taken off. Tomorrow, he meant to be at his best as a man should be when he asked a girl to marry him. Of course, he’d already asked her, and she’d already agreed. But this was different. This time they would set a date.

He was up early to attend to his horse and then paced the boardwalk, his boots thudding on the wood slats. He peeked in the window of the little church. He and Angie could get married there with friends and family as witnesses. He borrowed the buggy from his commander, hitched up the driving horse, and made his way to the house.

Ma looked up at his entrance. “You’re just in time for breakfast.”

“Thanks.” He took the coffee she offered and sat next to Angie. “It’s nice to be in a house, isn’t it?”

“It’s generous of you to provide it,” Gabe said. “I’ll?—”

Carson waved away whatever the man meant to offer. “I plan to take Angela out to see where we’ll live.”

Ma and Gabe exchanged a look, and then Ma nodded. “That’s a fine idea.”

Carson glanced at the clock several times, but the hands seemed inert. He didn’t want to leave until he’d filed his claim, but the office wouldn’t open for another half hour. He’d come far too early. Yet he hadn’t been able to wait. Wanting to see Angie, wanting to make the quarter of land truly his, wanting to show it to her, wanting her to agree to marry him right away. He was plumb full of wants this morning.

Ma handed him a basket. “Angela said you’d be gone all day. We prepared food so you won’t go hungry.”

“Thanks, Ma.”

“You should thank Angela. It was her idea, and she did all the work.”

The light in Angie’s eyes hinted she looked forward to this as much as he did .

Finally, the clock read a suitable time, and he led Angie to the buggy and helped her up, whistled for Boss to jump in the back, drove down the street, and turned right to enter the business portion of the little town. “Wait here.” He jumped down. Boss seemed hesitant to obey, but Angie wrapped her arms around the big dog’s neck. The sight warming him, Carson pivoted and strode into the building.

Minutes later, he strode out, grinning so hard it hurt. “We are now officially on the title.” Though only his name was allowed. A mere formality. This land belonged to both of them.

She laughed and, when he sat beside her, hugged his arm. “Partners.”

“Partners.” Why did the word have a hollow sound to it? But rather than analyze the feeling, he pointed out things to her. The grove where he’d seen a deer and twin fawns, the thicket where wild raspberries would flourish if it weren’t too late in the season now.

They made good time with the buggy. Then Carson stopped and helped her alight. “This is the corner. It runs to that tree over there and along the creek on this side.”

“Show me.” She tugged at his hand, and Boss wriggled with anticipation as if sensing this was his new home.

Laughing, Carson trotted to keep up with her, and they tromped all four sides of the quarter section that was theirs if they met all the conditions.

Back at the buggy, she waved her hands over her head and turned full circle. “So beautiful and it’s ours.”

“All ours.” He lifted the basket from the back while she spread the red plaid blanket. He held her hands as he said grace. His amen caught in his throat. “God has indeed blessed us.”

Her gaze begged for more. And he gladly told her what he considered God’s blessing. “This food of course, but more, this land, and even more than that, a partner.”

Their gazes caught and held. He drank in the promise of that look.

“Angie.” He brought her hands to him. “Let’s get married at the same time as Ruby and Robert if that’s all right with them.”

Tears glistened in her eyes. Happy tears? Must be for she laughed. “I’d like that. Very much.”

“Me too.” He pulled her close and kissed her sweet mouth. Partners in every sense of the word.

The rest of the day passed in sweet sunshine and occasional kisses as they explored the land, seeking a suitable site for their home. After a time, they both agreed they liked having a view to the east of the rolling hills with the creek nearby and the mountains visible in all their glory. They paced out where the little building would go. With that settled, they sat on the grassy slope and talked about the future.

There was enough food left for an evening picnic. Neither of them seemed in a hurry to return to town, but they had to.

“Are you ready to leave?” he asked, his words slow, revealing how he’d like to linger.

“Wouldn’t want Ma to worry.” She gathered up the containers from the picnic and pushed to her feet. “This was very nice.”

“It’s the first of many days of enjoyment on our place.”

Again, her gaze held his in a demanding look. One he didn’t understand. “Is something bothering you?”

She lowered her eyes. “No. I guess I can’t quite believe it’s true.”

Startled, he touched stilled her fidgeting hands. “Why would you think that?”

Her gaze went past him. “I never expected something this good.” Eyes as warm as the evening sunshine met his. “Carson, thank you for making me part of your future.”

Unable to explain the way her words ached through him, he pulled her into his arms and pressed her to his chest. “Thank you for agreeing to be my partner and wife.”

The way she leaned into him gave him hope he’d comforted her worries.

Reluctantly, he eased her to one side, scooped up the blanket, called Boss to get into the buggy with them, and headed back to town. All the way there, she pressed to Carson’s side as if seeking more from him.

Whatever it was she wanted, he hoped he could provide it.

As soon as they stopped the buggy in front of the house, Boss bounded out and sat waiting for them. Carson helped Angela down and grabbed the picnic things from the back. He ordered Boss to stay outside as he and Angie went in.

“You’re back,” Ma said. “I hope you had a good day.”

“We did. Angie and I would like to get married at the same time as Ruby and Robert if no one has objections. I’ll ask them as soon as I see them.”

“That’d be fine,” Ma said. “Angela, this letter was waiting at the post office for you. It looks official.”

Angie took it and examined the return address. “It’s from my father’s lawyer. I can’t imagine what he wants after all this time.”

“There’s only one way to find out.” Carson nudged her.

Gingerly, she broke the seal and removed documents.

Carson glimpsed a few words. “At age eighteen, you inherit…”

She flipped the page over before he read the whole sentence, and then he made out more. “Help women like your mother. Save children from your disgrace…”

She ducked away, folding the pages and clutching them to her chest. “I need to read this in private. ”

After she scurried to her bedroom, the air in the room stilled. No one spoke. Carson sucked in a breath that wobbled into his lungs. “What was that all about?”

Ma shook her head. “I can’t say, but I do believe you need to have a good long talk with her.”

Something in her tone set his nerves to jangling. “About what?”

“You need to ask her.”

He surely would. As soon as she left her bedroom. But she stayed there until he had to leave. “I’ll talk to her in the morning.” One phrase that he’d seen stuck in his thoughts. “Save children from your disgrace.” What disgrace could that possibly mean? Why should Angie wear such a harsh label?

Angela stayed in the bedroom and pretended sleep when Ruby crawled in beside her. But there’d be no sleep for her tonight. Father had her best interests in mind when he made this arrangement, but how could she deal with the contents of the letter and keep her secret? No longer did she feel as if her future was safe and secure.

How could she face Carson without telling the truth? God, help me. I can’t lie, and yet the truth will destroy me . Why did she hear the verse “The truth shall set you free”? Yes, in most cases, that was true. But not this one.

Hadn’t she always feared he would change his mind? So, this shouldn’t hurt so much. She swallowed a groan for fear of disturbing Ruby and forced herself to lie motionless, even though every muscle twitched.

Morning finally arrived, and with it, she set her thoughts to do what must be done.

Ruby sang as she dressed before she realized Angela was barely moving and gave her a hard look. “What’s wrong with you?”

“I didn’t sleep well,” Angela mumbled.

“Too excited about the future?” Ruby hugged herself.

“You could say that.” Though Angela wouldn’t use the word excited .

Ruby hurried to the kitchen. Angela followed more slowly.

Ma looked at her. Her eyes narrowed. “It would seem that letter upset you. Care to say why?”

“Not yet.” Angela shook her head. “I have some decisions to make.”

“Remember you are not alone.” Ma wrapped an arm across Angela’s shoulders.

Partners. That’s what Carson had wanted. And yet she felt entirely alone.

The food on her plate was tasteless, but she choked it down rather than worry Ma. She’d helped clean the kitchen when Carson strode into the house.

“Ma, I’m taking Angie for a drive.”

Angela’s hands froze halfway to the crate of dishes she planned to unpack.

“Good idea. The two of you go talk things through.” Ma shooed Angela toward the door.

With feet dragging and heart sinking, Angela followed Carson outside. The buggy stood before them. Were they to go to the homestead again? Would she say goodbye to her hopes and dreams there?

Boss jumped in and pushed against her knees, perhaps sensing her unhappiness.

The three of them rode down the street, but rather than turn in the direction they had gone yesterday, they went down a tree-lined path toward the river. He parked the buggy and helped her down. They walked along the bank. The rumbling waters carried a warning to her. She tried to ignore it but couldn’t close her ears to the sound.

“Let’s sit here.” Carson pointed to a grassy spot shaded by spreading willows.

She folded her knees and lowered herself to the ground beside him.

Awkward silence hung in the air.

“Are you going to tell me why that letter upset you so much?”

She opened her mouth, but nothing came out.

“I saw that you inherited some money. Does that mean you are no longer interested in being my partner?” The words grated from his throat.

“No, of course not.” The last thing she wanted was for him to believe this was about him.

“Then what? I need to understand.”

“If I tell you, you’ll not want me as a partner and certainly not as a wife.” Each word burned her tongue.

“That’s not possible.”

A nice sentiment with no basis. “My father left money for me and more to help women like my mother.”

“Yes, I glimpsed those words.”

How much had he been able to read before she turned the pages away? Now was the time. She could no longer put it off. Gathering up her courage, she began. “My mother was a disgraced woman. She was shunned and living in despair when Father found her. He took us in and saved us from dying in dire need.” The words rushed out. When Carson touched her hand, she jerked away, afraid to trust him.

“Disgraced? How?”

“I was born out of wedlock. A child of sin.” Hot words burned from her mouth, stinging her lips. Boss nudged closer and whined. She buried her fingers in his fur.

“A child of—Surely no one thought of you as that.”

“But they did.” She gulped in air and forced the words from her mouth. “We sold our produce in town—vegetables and berries, eggs, chickens butchered to eat, and butter. Every time, Father brought home a small treat for me. But neither Mama nor I ever went. I was curious as to what town was like. And begged and begged to go with him. Mama said it wasn’t a good idea.” The conversation returned in sharp detail, every word branded on her memory.

“Father said, ‘Mary, things might have changed.’ But Mama just looked sad and insisted people clung hard to their beliefs.”

A shiver trembled through Angela. “Father looked thoughtful, then said that maybe it was time to see if things were different. I didn’t know what he meant.” She’d been so na?ve. So foolish. So hopeful.

“I heard Mama and Father discussing it late into the night after they thought I was asleep, and the next morning, Father said I might go with him. Imagine, at ten years of age, I was going to have my first visit to town. I was so excited I couldn’t eat breakfast. Mama packed us lunch as she always did for Father. I climbed to the wagon seat and bounced up and down all the way.”

The first hint that things might not be as she dreamed came when… “I was disappointed when Father turned aside as we approached town, and we proceeded down a silent back alley. Why couldn’t we go see the stores and watch the people, I asked. Father shook his head and said maybe we would if things went well.”

Boss pressed hard to her leg as she curled her fingers tighter in his fur. If she was hurting him, he didn’t protest.

Although her mouth was dry, she forced herself to continue. “Father pulled in at the back of a building that I learned was the store and began to unload the goods. I begged to go inside so I could see what it was like. He allowed me to follow him, and I looked around the big storeroom. Then, seeing all the things displayed in the next room, I ventured in. At first, no one noticed me, and I wandered from display to display. Suddenly, three dour-faced women were in front of me. Their gazes swept up and down me like they were trying to brush away a nasty bug. ‘Who are you?’ one demanded. I gave my name. Angela Lowe. Feeling a little afraid, I added, ‘I’m here with my father.’”

Her breath caught against her teeth, and she had to force the words out. “One of them—I’ll never forget her—she wore her hair pulled back so hard it drew her eyes into slits. Or maybe that’s how she normally looked. Her dress was so tight across the bodice I feared the seams would give way. She sniffed loudly and stepped back, holding out her arms to push the others away. ‘That man is not your father.’ Another sniff. She tipped her head and wrinkled her nose like there was a bad smell. ‘That’s the love child of the fallen woman Obed Lowe married.’ The three of them hustled away.”

Angela couldn’t contain the shudder that started in the pit of her stomach and exploded into her fingers.

Carson hadn’t said anything or shown any reaction.

She continued, needing to tell the whole story. Get it out in the open so there would be no more misunderstanding between them.

“I was stunned. Father wasn’t my father? I was a love child? That should have been a good thing, but the way that woman said it convinced me it wasn’t.” She realized she was rocking and forced herself to stop. “I slipped through the storeroom and back to the wagon. On the way home, I told Father what I’d heard. He sighed. ‘Your mother was right. Things haven’t changed.’

“He explained that he had married Mama when I was a baby. Explained how he’d found her stealing eggs from his hens and fell in love with her. I stared at him. ‘Is that why I’m a love child?’

“His face twisted. He put his arm around me and pulled me close. ‘Angela, you are the child I love. That’s all that matters.’” Her insides were drained, scoured, and sore.

“Except, of course, it wasn’t.” She waited for Carson to say something. Do something.

He pushed to his feet. “I need to think. I’ll take you back to town.”

The return ride was silent.

Had she expected anything else?