22. Declan

DECLAN

Thankgod I'm being discharged by Doc. I'm ready to get back out there.

We're finishing up when Gray walks into my office.

"I'm done here," Doc says, and I hand him a stack of cash before he leaves the room.

"How's everything healing?"

I roll my shoulder around, only a minor pull reminds me of the shot in the chest. "Good as new." I look at him. "I assume you have business to discuss with me."

"It's about Murphy."

I frown, putting my shirt back on and buttoning it before turning back to him. I'm sitting behind my desk.

Paige and Lara just got back from Paige's new home that dad bought for her, and they took Bree upstairs, giggling and talking like schoolgirls, so I'm not too worried about Bree listening in.

Gray looks at me with the most serious expression. "We can't figure out what happened that day you and dad were checking the shipment. There are no leaks in our organization."

"You can't know that for sure."

He sighs. "You don't think it"s a little too coincidental?"

"What do you mean, coincidental?" I already feel defensive, and I can't even pinpoint why.

"You sent a letter from Bree to Murphy, and then suddenly, he knows when we're checking a shipment?"

"Doesn't he always know?" I clench my jaw. "He's always got his little spies around, listening to us. Besides, we never discussed anything while she was around, so how exactly would she know?"

"But the only people who knew about that shipment were Burkes and Jimmy."

"Exactly. So, what about Jimmy?"

Gray gives me a dark look. "Jimmy's been loyal to us for twenty years, Declan."

"I know what you're implying," I say, just as darkly.

Part of me wants to hit him, but I don't. I push down my anger at him because if I'm honest, I have my own suspicions. The timing does seem a bit convenient. "But I read the letters—both of them. There was nothing in them."

"Maybe they have some kind of code."

I sigh. "You're reaching, Gray. It's probably just that someone used an unsecured line. It doesn't always have to be something nefarious."

"You're blind." Gray rubs a hand across his face in frustration. "You're blinded by that girl, Declan, and this isn't going to end well."

"I don't know what you're talking about." I look up at him. "Besides, you and Da were the ones who pushed me into this marriage."

"It was Da's idea, not mine," Gray insists.

"Nevertheless, you went along with it. And she is never around when we discuss business, so again, Gray, how would she know?" I open the door to my office. "Now get out. I've got work to do."

"You and I may butt heads from time to time," Gray grumbles, "but I'm still your big brother, and I only want what's best for you. Bree may be pretty. She may act sweet. Hell, she even snowed me here for a while. But she's still a Murphy."

"She didn't know," I say fiercely. "She didn't know who her father was until Da explained everything."

Gray scoffs. "You really believe that?"

"I do." My fists clench. "Now, get out before I throw you out."

Gray finally leaves, slamming the door, and I sigh, looking down at my desk, which is scattered over with papers, mostly bookkeeping.

Usually, Lara deals with the books, but lately, I've been trying to do it myself. I need to learn how to run it. Da won't be around forever, and one day Lara will get married and move out.

But I'm not worried about money right now. All I want is to think this through.

I find myself wishing that my best friend, Kael, was in town. He's been away for a bit for business, and I usually hash this kind of thing out with him.

Perhaps it's for the best that I call Cillian instead of Kael, though. Cillian is only peripherally involved in the business, so maybe he'll have a clear head about this whole thing.

Besides, I need to let off some steam.

I pick up my phone and dial his number. He picks up and I don't even give him time to say hello.

"Meet me at the gym."

He groans. "Aren't you injured or something?"

"Almost healed and just cleared by the doc. So, I can do cardio."

"You're a madman," Cillian complains. "I'll see you there."

I head upstairs, changing into a pair of basketball shorts and a tight shirt. My biceps bulge in it, and I like seeing the difference in size after I'm able to lift. Unfortunately, I can't lift today or for a while, not wanting to ruin all that is healed already.

I head to the gym, and I don't see a glimpse of my sisters or Bree, which is also probably for the best. I don't know how I feel about her right now. Everything has gotten so confusing.

I'd thought, for a while, that I was swiftly falling in love with her. But it turns out that I don't even know what that means. I've never been in love before, after all. And can I fall in love with a woman who comes from our greatest enemy? The man who killed my mother?

She didn't know, I remind myself as I step onto the treadmill next to Cillian.

"What's on your mind?" Cillian asks quietly as I start up an incline.

"How do you know something's on my mind?"

"Well, you've practically ignored me ever since you got married to that Murphy chick, so I figure you showing up now means something."

"I didn't ask to get married," I say. "You know that was my father's doing."

"Yeah, but you've certainly been missing in action ever since."

"Sorry," I mumble, starting up a three miles per hour pace, just walking at first to warm up.

Cillian shrugs. "No reason for apologies. I'm just curious. What's it like being married to a Murphy?"

"It"s something," I mutter.

Realizing that I don't want to talk about it, Cillian hums. "How's your chest and shoulder?"

"Getting better every day," I tell him.

"Have you figured out how Murphy knew when the shipment was being checked?" Cillian asks. Even though he's just a driver, he's friends with a lot of the Burke clan, so of course he's heard about it.

"He always knows," I repeat what I told Gray. "He's got people everywhere."

"Maybe," Cillian agrees.

I sigh. "I know what you're thinking."

"Do you, oh psychic?"

I snort out a laugh.

Cillian is usually pretty laid-back, which is one thing I do like about him. There's a reason he's my go-to when my best friend is out of town.

"You're thinking it has something to do with Bree Murphy."

"Your wife," Cillian points out.

"My wife." I start to move the incline up even further, and Cillian sighs, doing the same.

"You're going to try and kill me today, aren't you?"

I grin at him. "You're getting heavy. You can use the exercise."

Cillian slaps at his flat abdomen. "Heavy where? In my pants, maybe."

I bark out a surprised laugh. I've been so stressed I didn't even know I could laugh.

I sigh. "Gray thinks that my wife has something to do with it."

I need to talk about this. I can't work out as hard as I usually would because of my injury, and I need some kind of outlet.

"Gray thinks the worst of everyone."

I nod slowly. That much is true. Gray doesn't trust easily.

"I'm worried he may be right," I grumble.

"You really think she'd betray you? After all this time?"

"It's not like she chose this marriage, either. It was Da's crazy idea. And sure, it's worked. It's started a war between us and Murphy, but I'm not so sure that we're winning."

"Because she might have gotten ahold of him?"

"She sent a birthday card," I explain. "And he sent a letter back."

"You read them, of course."

"Of course." I nod. "And there was nothing in them. No weird phrasing or something that sounded like a code."

Cillian glances over at me. "But it's suspicious, the timing."

"It is. And what am I going to do if she's still loyal to her father?"

"It's hard to tell," Cillian says. "It's just a letter, after all, but if they have a code, it might be one you haven't cracked."

"Maybe." I turn up the speed on the treadmill.

"What are you going to do if she did?"

"I don't know."

Cillian whistles. "You must really like her."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because usually, you'd kill anyone who even smells like a rat."

He's right. I've always been brutal about people who became disloyal to the Burkes.

But it's different with Bree, and not just because of my feelings for her. As well as we've treated her, at the end of the day, she didn't choose this. How can I expect her to be loyal to the Burkes right away?

But of course, if she did do it, I'll have to deal with it. Gray will want blood, but there's no way I'll let him handle it. I'll handle it myself.

Bree has been so strange ever since the accident. It's like she's just going through the motions, and she's so pale and drawn all the time.

Is it guilt? Or is she just still traumatized by hearing about her father's many sins? It's hard to tell.

I haven't asked her, face to face, so maybe that's what I need to do. I'm afraid, though, that she'll come clean, and then I don't know what I'll do.

I take in a breath and pull out my phone, calling Lara.

She answers right away. "Declan? What's up?"

"Are you with Bree?" I ask in a quiet voice.

"Sure. She and Paige are in the pool. Do you need to talk to her?"

"No, no," I say quickly. "I don't want her to hear this conversation."

"What's going on?"

"I want you to keep an eye on her. Don't let her out of your sight unless she's in the bathroom or the bedroom."

Lara goes silent for a long moment. "I ask again, what's going on?"

"Nothing," I lie. "I just... want to keep a better eye on her after Murphy attacked us."

"All right," she says quietly. "I'll watch her."

"Thank you." I hang up the phone and turn up the speed again, needing to run, needing to get some of this worry and suspicion out.

I focus on the run, trying not to think, and it's thirty minutes before Cillian shuts his off and gets down.

"I need water."

I nod, continuing to run.

"You do, too." He turns my treadmill to a slow walk.

I sigh but I know he's right, so I turn it off and walk over to the duffel bag he's brought with water and protein bars.

I chew on a protein bar and suck down half a bottle of water.

"You know Kael is coming back to town tonight," Cillian points out. "Maybe we could all go out."

Cillian, Kael, and I had been thick as thieves in high school, and we haven't all gone out together in forever it seems. Cillian is by far the craziest out of all of us, with Kael being sort of a teetotaler, but somehow, it works.

"I know you've got work to do or whatever," Cillian says, apparently thinking I'm going to say no.

"Fuck work. Let's do it." I throw the gym towel into the laundry area and start toward the shower.

Lara continuesto keep an eye on Bree, and I don't even know if I want to see Bree when I get home to change before heading out to the bar.

I shower and get dressed and it's already about eight in the evening when I'm seating in bed, putting on my shoes, about to head out.

Bree comes into the bedroom, wearing a towel and a bikini, soaking wet.

"I haven't seen you all day." She leans down to kiss my temple.

I force a smile at her. "Been busy."

"Anything I can do to help?"

She sounds so sweet, and part of me wants to pull her down into my lap and be late for my boys' night.

"It's all done, now. I'm going out with Kael and Cillian."

"Kael's your best friend?" she asks. "I think Paige mentioned him."

"He is," I nod. "Him and Cillian."

"You should have fun." She smiles. "Paige and Lara want a sleepover, anyway."

I chuckle. "I"ll save you when I get home."

She smiles wider and heads off to the shower, and I watch her ass jiggle as she drops the towel to the floor at the doorway.

I bite my lip and walk toward her, undressing and getting into the shower with her.

She looks up at me. "Won't you be late?"

"They'll live."

I need to bury myself inside her, need to distract myself from all the thoughts I've been having about her possible betrayal.

Bree grins back at me before facing the wall, bracing her hands against the shower wall.

I slide my hand down between her lower lips, finding her slick enough for me to work myself into her.

I hold up one of her legs with my good arm, looping it around my elbow.

She gasps while I push myself into her, and I groan, biting down on her shoulder, reaching around her to cup her breasts and play with her peaked nipples.

"Declan," she breathes, and the sound of my name on her lips makes me thrust harder, the glide getting easier as she gets wetter, closer to her orgasm.

It's quick and hard and not intimate at all, but when we both finish, almost in unison, I lean down to kiss the bites I've left on her shoulder and the side of her neck.

"Come and get me when you get home," she murmurs as I step out of the shower.

"Just try and stop me." I lean back into the shower to kiss her goodbye.

It does help, seeing Bree before I go out, because I'm reminded again that I do care for her. I don't know if it's love, exactly, because of the way it started, because I've never felt this way about any other woman.

When I arrive at Kelley's pub, Cillian is already there, but Kael is nowhere to be found.

I frown.

"You're late," Cillian says, sounding slightly drunk. "Kael and I started without you."

I blink. "Kael is taking shots with you?"

"I know, right? I guess he missed us." He laughs, and Kael comes out of the bathroom to stand at the bar. He orders us a round of vodka shots, top shelf, before he greets me. He grins and claps me on the shoulder. "I've heard that congratulations are in order."

"I don't know about that," I say, but his grin is contagious and soon I'm smiling back.

We take down our shots, and Cillian is already eyeing a redhead on the dance floor.

"No girls tonight," Kael warns. "Just us guys."

"No girls?" Cillian pouts.

"That's probably for the best," I say, sipping my beer. Beer and shots, maybe a few Irish car bombs, are our usual drinks of choice.

"Since you're a married man and all," Kael teases. "How did that happen, anyway?"

"Ask my da," I say flatly, but I feel a little bad that I'm not exactly telling Kael the truth.

I sigh. "She's a Murphy."

Kael's eyes widen. "I'd heard you got married, and that Niall was pissed, but I didn't put it together. How the hell did that happen?"

"It started out as a plan to piss Niall off," Cillian says helpfully, and I glare at him for running his mouth, but he's drunk and doesn't notice. "But I think our boy has feelings."

"Shut up," I growl, but Kael is looking at me, eyes squinted.

"I can't believe that out of the three of us, you're the one who got married first."

Cillian scoffs. "Wasn't going to be me."

"Do you have feelings for her?" Kael asks.

"Yes," I groan as Cillian orders another round of shots. "I don't know what to do about it."

"You don't have to do anything," Kael says. "You're married, aren't you?"

I end up explaining everything to Kael, swearing him to secrecy, and I know he'll keep to that. I trust him more than anyone in my life other than my family, after all.

Cillian has been known to run his mouth, but he doesn't know everyone in the clan the way that Kael does.

"Jesus," he mutters after I'm finished. "That's a lot, man, I'm sorry."

"Yeah."

"But even if she did have something to do with it, can you blame her?" Kael asks.

Cillian has broken our no girls rule and is tearing it up on the dance floor with the redhead from earlier.

No one is surprised.

"I mean, I guess I can't," I agree. "She's been forced into this just the way that I was, but I just... I thought maybe she felt the same way that I do." I don't say that her life will be in abject danger if she did betray us, but Kael knows that.

"And how is that?"

"I think I might love her," I admit, and I don't think I would have said it if I wasn't tipsy nearing drunk, but there it is.

Kael's eyes widen. "Are you sure?"

"Hell no, I'm not sure," I huff. "I've never been in love before."

"First time for everything," Kael says.

It does feel better to get it all out, to tell them everything, and by the time I make it home, I'm feeling no pain. It's not just from the booze, but from getting everything off my chest.

Bree happens to be in bed when I get there, but she's snoring away.

I don't wake her, just climb into bed with her and kiss her sleeping mouth softly.

I pass out feeling better than I have in several days.

I know that won't last.