18. Vinnie

18

VINNIE

R aven doesn't talk much during the ride. But the quiet doesn't seem to bother her. The look on her face is so serene. Like she's happy. Happy in a way that perhaps she's never been before.

I ache to reach out and touch her.

But I've got so much going on, and she's fragile right now. Perhaps not mentally fragile but physically.

And I'm betrothed to an eleven-year-old girl…

God, the thought of it makes me sick to my stomach.

Raven gives me directions through the private roads on the Bellamy property to get to her parents' large ranch house.

And boy, is it large—a sprawling Spanish-inspired masterpiece.

I drive up the brick driveway.

"Thank you for the ride," she says. "I realize you went out of your way, and I appreciate it."

"It wasn't that far out of my way. I have a long drive anyway."

She reaches for the door handle, but I stop her. "Just a second."

I get out of the driver-side door and walk around to open the passenger door. I give her my hand, and she takes it delicately.

When she stands next to me, she's so close I can actually feel her breath on my neck.

"I'll see you to the door."

She looks away shyly. "You don't have to."

"I know I don't have to, Raven." I give her hand a light squeeze. "I'm trying to be a gentleman here."

"Well… All right."

Beneath the security lights from her home, I can see her cheeks blush. A gorgeous rosy tint.

Nubs of black lashes are growing on her eyelids, and her eyebrows, which she's penciled in lightly, are also starting to grow.

My God, she's so beautiful.

I offer my arm to her and she takes it. And when she stumbles a bit, I steady her.

"You okay?"

"Yes." She closes her eyes for a moment. "Some of my meds make me lightheaded sometimes."

Bummer. I was hoping I was the one who made her lightheaded.

I swallow. "Raven…"

"Yes?"

I open my mouth to say something, but before I can, something takes me over. I pull her to me, not gently at all. Then I kiss her.

Her lips are already parted, and I dive right in.

A soft moan vibrates from her throat and into me, spurring me on.

I've kissed a lot of women in my lifetime. Even a man once—in Italy—but no kiss has ever been as wonderful and amazing as this one.

Her tongue is soft, and she tastes of the vanilla and raspberries of our dessert. To my surprise, she kisses me back.

All I can think about is what her beautiful body might look like naked. Splayed out on the bed as a feast for me. Not just for my body, but for all five of my senses. My eyes, ears, nose.

I inhale her sweet scent. Raspberries again. Plus something woodsy. Maybe a touch of caramel.

I kiss her and I kiss her and I kiss her…

Until I realize what I'm doing and I break the kiss.

Her lips are darker and more swollen than they were at dinner. I kissed her hard. And I'd do it again.

Her hand absently wanders to her lower lip.

"I shouldn't have done that," I say.

"I'm not complaining," she says softly.

"Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?"

More blush on those gorgeous cheeks. She says nothing.

"I've never seen a woman as beautiful as you."

"I look a lot like my sister. I mean, we're not identical twins, but…" She frowns. "Plus she has hair."

I can no longer resist the urge to touch her. I slide my hand over her head, letting the short growth of hair tickle my fingers. She winces a bit.

"Please," I say. "Don't. This is you right now. You're beautiful. You couldn't possibly be any more beautiful with a gorgeous mane of hair."

"Actually, I could," she says, her voice shaking. "You've seen Falcon's hair. Mine is even longer and thicker. Well, thicker. It will be a while before it's longer."

I move my hand from her head and tip her chin up so that she meets my gaze. "I shouldn't have kissed you, Raven. There are a million reasons why I shouldn't have. But I can't bring myself to be sorry about it."

"I don't recall asking you to." She breaks her gaze from mine. "But you should know…"

"Know what?"

"I… I don't know. Perhaps I'm being presumptuous, but I have a date Friday night."

I take a step backward. "You mentioned that at dinner, remember?"

"Oh. Right." She blushes darker red. "My meds… I forget sometimes. I shouldn't be so presumptuous anyway. Just because you kissed me doesn't mean…"

Doesn't mean what? That I want to take her on a date?

She's right. I don't want to take her out. I want to take her straight to my bed. I can't have a relationship with her. I'm promised to someone else, at least for now. Plus, how can I drag her into the mess that is my family right now? I'm determined to take down my grandfather and all of his minions. I may not be able to get my father out of prison, but I can at least take down the people who helped put him there.

"Break the date," I tell her.

I hear the tone of my voice. I hear the command. I have no right to make this demand of her, but I do it anyway. It just kind of pops out.

"I'm not sure I can," she says. "You see, he's the attorney who's helping me with my nonprofit. And if I break the date…"

"Break it," I command again.

"I…"

"Look. You have an excuse built right in. You shouldn't be dating him because you're working together on your nonprofit." I look her straight into her beautiful brown eyes. "Break it," I say through gritted teeth.

Her lips part, and she lets out a tiny gasp.

I slide my hand over the apple of her cheek. God, her skin is like silk. "I'm not kidding, Raven. Break that date."

"I don't know…" She draws in a breath. "What do you want from me, Vinnie?"

I lean in and growl into her ear, "I want everything. I want to kiss those lips until they bleed, Raven."

She gasps again at those words.

Frankly, I'm not even sure where they came from.

How can I want a woman this much? I had plenty of sex overseas. More than most men have during their whole lives. My share of women and even one man. I've had threesomes and foursomes. I've had lovemaking sessions that lasted days.

I was only celibate during my time at the Buddhist temple.

The rest of the time?

If I had an offer of sex, I took it. And I had a lot of offers. European women loved me.

But now?

All I want is this woman. This woman who I should leave alone. Who I shouldn't drag into my life.

My grandfather told me to end the life of this beautiful woman.

I refused, of course. Who could even think of such evil? Of taking this glorious life away from the world?

But that's what I'm dealing with. Evil. Pure evil.

And I can't drag Raven into any of that.

So I'm going to walk away.

I'm going to walk to my car and drive away.

I take a step to do so, but Raven grabs me, pulls me into her embrace, threads her fingers through my hair, and brings her lips to mine.