42. Tessa

42

Tessa

I t's hard to believe that Harry is four today. My baby is growing up fast. He no longer needs me all the time. He's always been an independent little boy, but with every day that passes, his confidence grows.

Being around the guys is doing Harry the world of good. Until we came here, I hadn't realized how often Enzo talked down to him. Made him feel less than. Now we're no longer living in Enzo's toxic shadow, Harry has blossomed.

He asks questions without hesitating and shouts when he's excited without fear of the repercussions. All the normal things a kid of his age does. Enzo didn't allow Harry to do either of those things.

Every time Harry asked a question or made too much noise, his father told him to be quiet. "I'm busy," he'd say. Or "I'm watching the game!" And when he'd been drinking, he didn't hesitate to tell Harry to "shut the fuck up."

I hated seeing my naturally happy little boy so cowed around his father, which was why I tried to keep the kids away from Enzo as much as possible. It was only when I worked a late shift that he looked after them, which was thankfully only once a week.

The rest of the time, I worked around the kids, and when Enzo was at home, I took the kids out. It was easier that way.

I walk into Harry's temporary bedroom and he bounces out of bed like he's been mainlining sugar all night.

"I'm a big boy today!"

"Yes, baby, you are." He pushes me away when I kiss his cheek, scrunching his face in disgust.

"Eww Mommy, that's gross! I'm four now. Too big for mommy kisses."

"You're never too big for my kisses, baby boy," I tease, grabbing him and kissing him again. He squeals with laughter and the minute I release him, he tears away, wearing nothing but a pair of Spiderman PJ pants.

"It's the Birthday Boy!" Cin's voice booms, and I smile. Knowing Harry wouldn't see his friends today has worried me all week, but he doesn't seem to mind. Not for the moment, anyway.

When Chloe and I enter the kitchen, my mouth falls open in surprise. There are balloons everywhere. Stuck to the ceiling, all over the table, and when I peek into the living room, there are balloons piled on the sofa.

My eyes well up with tears. There's even a cake on the counter with Happy Birthday Harry ! in blue icing. "You baked a cake?" I say, surreptitiously wiping my eyes.

"Nah. Not me. That's Madden's work." No way! Big, gruff Madden, my strong, silent protector, has made a cake. And it's a beautiful cake: white and blue icing with a cute fondant dog on the top.

I don't think Harry has noticed the cake yet. He's too busy playing with the balloons. I strap Chloe into her high chair and when he comes running back into the kitchen, I point to the cake.

"Is that for me?" he asks with big eyes. "Can I eat cake for breakfast? Please, Mommy!"

"Madden made it all for you, but it's for later, not breakfast."

"Aww Mommy!" he pouts.

"Now say thank you."

Harry rushes over to Madden, who's standing by the coffee machine. "Thank you for my cake! It looks yummy!"

"You're welcome, short stuff." Madden ruffles his hair and smiles at him. He turns away, but I don't miss the warmth in his green eyes.

The Iceman is thawing. Slowly.

"What does the birthday boy want for breakfast?" Madden asks. He's wearing a pair of well-washed jeans that hug his ass, plus a white long-sleeve tee. I should be thinking about giving Chloe her breakfast, but my focus died somewhere between discovering Madden can bake cakes and the way he obviously cares for my son.

"Cake?" Harry tries again.

"Harry! What did I just say?"

Harry's brow furrows with frustration. "Pancakes?"

"We can do pancakes. Sit down and then once you've eaten your breakfast, we'll see if there are any gifts to open. How does that sound?"

It's a wonder Harry eats anything at all given how excited he is, but he manages most of a pancake, washed down with some orange juice, while chattering nineteen to the dozen.

I pick at some toast as Chloe eats a few small pieces of pancake and some fruit. She babbles away to me and her brother, happy and content now that she's through the worst of the teething pain. Every time she smiles and I see her little tooth, I smile too.

It still burns that my camera was stolen when the house was broken into. I miss being able to snap photos of the kids. The phone Kade gave me has a camera but it's nowhere near as good as my old DSLR camera.

Taking photos of the kids is my hobby. I don't upload them to social media. I'm not that stupid. Instead, I save them to the cloud, so that one day, when Harry and Chloe are all grown up, I can look back and remember how cute they were.

I take some quick shots of the kids to remind me of today and then tuck my phone away.

Once Harry refuses to eat another bite, I take pity on him. "Go brush your teeth and get dressed. Then we'll see if there are any gifts for the birthday boy."

He groans and pouts but does as he's told, dashing off into our bedroom. No doubt the teeth-brushing bit will take all of five seconds, but he gets a free pass for today.

I've not been able to go out and buy him a gift this year, for obvious reasons, but Madden let me order something and arranged for it to be delivered a few days ago. I added gift wrap to the order, so it's ready for him to open.

"Ready, Mommy!"

He appears in a dinosaur tee, a pair of green shorts, and two odd socks. Not a bad effort.

"Go open your presents." He doesn't need to be told twice. Before I've had a chance to wipe Chloe's mouth and lift her out of the chair, the paper is off the first gift.

"It's a set of dinosaurs!"

I look up at Madden. He's watching the proceedings with a faint smile. "From Kade," he explains. Oh . I wasn't expecting him to remember it was Harry's birthday. He's barely spoken to me since he left for the city, other than a couple of messages.

"Tell him thank you." I know he talks to Madden most days. Just not me, apparently.

Harry opens his gift from me - a foam rocket launcher set - and yells with excitement, then some books from Madden and Cin, which he loves.

"What do you say?" I prompt.

"Thank you, Madden and Cin," he says, acting shy for once.

I look over at Madden. "Where is Cin, anyway?" He disappeared twenty minutes ago, which surprised me. I was expecting him to be here for the present opening.

"There's another gift for Harry. He's gone to fetch it." Madden's lips curve up as Cin strolls in with a large box in his arms.

Harry looks up, curious, before a hopeful smile appears. "Is this for me?"

"Sure is, little dude. Open it carefully. We wouldn't want to hurt what's inside."

The box moves and makes a funny noise. Then we all hear a woof. Harry tears the flaps open and promptly bursts into tears.

"Buttons!"

Cin lifts out a small wiggly chocolate brown puppy and hands it to Harry, who holds the pup so tightly I fear for its safety. But the pup doesn't seem to mind. She licks his face, tail wagging furiously.

"Happy birthday, little dude!"

I look up at Cin and shake my head, but he just grins. How the fuck am I supposed to care for a dog?? But I can hardly ask him to take the puppy back. Harry would never forgive me. And besides, seeing how happy he is makes me realize just how much he wanted a pet of his own.

Maybe it's a good thing. Buttons will give him something to focus on while we're here. God knows he needs that given how much he's lost.