41. Cin

41

Cin

F atherhood has never been on my to-do list. My fucked-up childhood vanquished any desire I might have had to bring a child into the world. With no role model other than a drug-addicted mother whose idea of parenting was to throw us out onto the street while she got high or entertained her clients, having kids seemed like a terrible idea.

While we've never discussed it, I'm pretty sure Kade feels the same way. And besides, his life is not conducive to starting a family.

Spending time with Tessa and her children has made me question a lot of things I previously thought were cast in stone, having kids being one of them. Harry's such a sweet little dude. He rarely throws tantrums, unlike Serena's children, and his smile melts my heart every damn time.

Right now, he's riding shotgun with me in the truck, fizzing with excitement at the thought of seeing Jenson's pups. Madden thinks I'm nuts for taking him there. He warned me this morning that Harry would want one if he saw them.

I just smirked and refused to engage. The kid deserves a little treat. Thanks to that asshole father of his, Harry's life has been torpedoed. I heard him ask Tessa if he was seeing his buddies for his birthday. His lip wobbled when she told him it wasn't possible, which cracked my poor, dead heart open.

There isn't much I can do about the immediate threat to Tessa and her children - Kade's working on that - but I can be the fun stand-in uncle and make sure he has a good time for his birthday. Today is part one of my plan.

"All set for some puppy cuddles, little dude?"

"Yes!" Harry beams, punching the air and bouncing on the seat.

I steer the truck up the track to Jenson's farm, wincing at all the potholes. The old fucker really needs to sort this shit out before he fucks my suspension. The weathered shingles of Jenson's farmhouse come into view. He's waiting for us on the porch, a cup of coffee in hand.

"Hello, I'm here to see the puppies!" Harry announces after scrambling out of the truck so fast he falls and scrapes his knees on the gravel. Not that he notices.

"Hello, young man." Jenson's face crinkles as he smiles at Harry. From inside the house, I can hear Ruth, his wife, singing. No doubt she has some cookies waiting for us.

Jenson told me on the phone she was looking forward to meeting Harry. They haven't been blessed with grandkids, sadly. Their only child, Ronald, died in a motorcycle crash when he was 20, and Ruth never managed to conceive another baby.

"Come on inside. Mabel and her puppies are waiting for you." He leads Harry into a large sunny room at the back of the house, where six puppies are tearing around while their long-suffering mother dozes on the other side of a wooden lattice fence designed to keep the puppies in one place.

Mabel raises her head and drags herself up to greet us. "Hey, girl." I scratch her head and she licks my wrist. "Harry's come to see your babies. Is that OK?"

Jenson snorts with amusement. "She's ready to see the back of them, I reckon. The little hellions are getting too big for her to control."

Harry peers over the fence, his eyes wide with wonder. "Can I play with them?"

"Sure, let me open the gate so they don't all escape. They might nip you, so be prepared for that." Jenson lets Harry into the enclosure and within seconds, two pups come ambling over, curiously sniffing his ankles. Then one licks his leg, and he laughs.

"She likes me!"

"That one's a boy," Jenson chuckles.

"Have they got names?"

"Nope. I'll let their new owners give them a name."

I watch as Harry's little face falls dejectedly. "Are they going to their new homes soon?"

"I reckon they will be leaving in the next two weeks, yes." Jenson winks at me when Harry turns away to pet the small chocolate puppy trying to climb onto his lap now he's sat on the floor. He laughs when it licks his face and giggles as it chews his tee.

"She likes me!"

"I reckon she's the one, don't you?"

Two hours later, after filling up on cookies and puppy love, we leave Jenson's farm. Ruth gives me a large basket of goodies to take back with us and makes me promise to bring the baby next time.

Harry's quiet on the way back to the house.

"You OK, little dude?" I ask as we drive over the bridge and back up the hill to the house.

"Yeah." He says nothing more, but the small wrinkle between his eyes tells me he's thinking hard about something.

"How about we take your sister and mom to see the puppies in a few days?"

"Can we?" He perks up a little.

"Yeah. I bet Chloe will love the puppies, especially Buttons." Harry named his favorite puppy Buttons. The poor kid was almost in tears when he said goodbye to her, which made me feel fucking awful, but Buttons is too small to leave her mom yet. Two more weeks, Jenson said.

"She will!" Harry agrees, breaking out into a smile. "Mommy will too. She loves dogs."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, she always pets Bluebell, Mrs Drummond's pit bull." I almost laugh at the thought of a big pit bull called Bluebell.

"Then mom will love Buttons."

I fucking hope she does. Or I'm fucked.