40. Tessa

40

Tessa

W e moved Harry into his own room. He was so excited when he saw the Peppa Pig wallpaper and toy boxes.

"I don't need to share with you anymore, Mommy. I'm a big boy now," he declares, puffing out his chest.

"You can stay with me if you get scared," I tell him as he jumps on the toddler bed.

"I won't get scared. Cin said I'm a brave little soldier, and soldiers don't get scared."

"Is that right?" I cock an eyebrow at Cin, who's standing in the doorway grinning. My foot still throbs from the cut, but I can walk on it.

"Damn right," Cin grins before grimacing when Harry yells,

"One dollar!"

He mutters under his breath and disappears to drop another dollar in the swear jar.

I get Harry settled, read him a story, and then leave. He has a night light, and he seems happy. My room isn't far away. I've told him he can come wake me up if he gets scared, but he says he won't.

Chloe is already fast asleep, so I have a quick shower and climb into bed to read for a bit.

The sound of the door clicking open jerks me awake. Shit. I must have fallen asleep mid-scene. Sure enough, my Kindle is on the floor, the screen dark. When I blearily sit up, Cin's in the doorway.

"Is Harry OK?" I ask, worried. Has he had a nightmare and woken everyone up? I can't hear him, but maybe Madden is with him.

"Everything's fine." Cin walks in and pushes the door shut. After checking on Chloe, he climbs onto the bed.

"What are you doing?" I hiss. Chloe's less than five feet away.

"I couldn't sleep."

He slides over me, his large body pressing me into the mattress. I can feel the heat emanating from him, smell the fresh scent of his body wash.

Five minutes ago, I was fast asleep. Now? I'm wide awake.

"You should go." I don't sound convinced he should go. Not at all. "Chloe might wake."

"Shh. Even if she does, she won't care about me being here. I just want to hold you, sweetness."

He pulls the covers back and slides in next to me, spooning me. One hand creeps up and cups my breast, and the other pulls me tight against his body. He's hard, but he does nothing about it.

Lying in bed with a man feels strange. It's been a while since I shared a bed with anyone. Enzo stayed away after Chloe was born, which was a relief, honestly. It meant Harry could crawl into bed with me and I didn't have to deal with Enzo's tantrums.

"Go to sleep, Tessa. I can hear your thoughts racing."

"I'm trying. You're hot."

He chuckles lightly. "So I've been told."

"That's not what I...oh never mind." I wriggle around a bit more and he groans.

"Quit it, or we won't be getting any sleep."

I'm not sure I can sleep with him wrapped around me, but it's late.

"You could always go back to your own room," I point out.

"Nope."

And that's the end of the conversation. I settle down, enjoying how protected he makes me feel. Like nothing and nobody can hurt me.

When I open my eyes again, the sky is beginning to lighten behind the blind. I half expected Cin to have left, but no, he's still there.

"Good morning, gorgeous," he whispers in my ear.

Chloe is fast asleep. It's too early for her. My baby is a good sleeper when she isn't disturbed by her brother. Speaking of. I kinda expected Harry to have appeared by now, but he must be happy in his new room.

Despite my unexpected visitor, I feel surprisingly well-rested. I guess I didn't have any nightmares for a change. Maybe I need to invite Cin into my bed more often.

"You should probably go," I murmur, aware that Chloe could wake up anytime.

"I probably should," he replies, cupping my tit and stroking my hard nipple. "But I'm not going anywhere yet."

He slides his hand down into my sleep shorts, finding me wet and wanting. It's shameful how quickly my body responds to him. I'm such a slut.

"So wet for me," he croons in my ear.

The room is getting lighter by the minute, but I can't move. His fingers slip inside me, pressing against the sweet spot that makes me shiver with need. The urge to pee is strong and I struggle against the arm holding me against his chest.

Pressure builds with each slow caress and a few seconds later, I'm falling over the edge and flying high on a cloud of bliss. Cin tugs my shorts down my thighs and pushes inside me. He feels so big in this position. The stretch is almost painful and I moan softly.

"Cin..."

"God, you feel amazing," he groans. "So hot and tight."

I'm anchored against him and can't move. But I don't need to. He rocks against me, a gentle push/pull. It's like he's making love to me with the morning light filtering in through the blinds.

Enzo never made love. He fucked. There was always a degree of separation between us. Emotionally and physically.

With Cin, it's different. My heart squeezes in my chest and a million what-ifs bombard my brain.

What if this isn't just sex?

What if he wants more than sex?

What if I do too?

When his fingers circle my clit, my pussy tightens around him, and he groans against my neck. I'm so close.

"Come for me," he urges. "I need to feel you coming around my dick."

He's trained my body already and I shatter in his arms. Pleasure floods my limbic system and I bite my lip to hold back the scream that threatens to escape. Behind me, Cin releases a masculine grunt and stills as he finishes.

We lie still, locked together.

This is just sex, I try to tell myself, but my emotions are taut like a trapeze wire stretched across a circus tent.

I'm falling for this man, and it scares me senseless.

A lone tear trickles down my cheek, and before I can surreptitiously wipe it away, Cin pulls out and rolls me over.

He goes from smiling to frowning in a heartbeat.

"Sweetness, what's wrong? It wasn't that bad, was it?"

I snort a laugh while sniffing. God, I'm a hot mess. It must be hormones. I haven't had a period since Chloe so now she's mostly weaned, my periods must be returning.

"Sorry, it's not you," I say, feeling embarrassed. I bet Cin's not used to women who cry after sex. "I don't know what's wrong with me." More tears fall and I try to get up, needing some space where I can get my shit together.

It's hard to think around Cin.

"Shhh," he says, pulling me into his arms so my head rests on his chest. His heart beats steadily under my cheek and my emotions settle. I know I'm being stupid, letting my emotions get the better of me.

"I'm sorry." God, he must think I'm a disaster.

"You have nothing to be sorry about. Most women would be basket cases by now. You're the strongest woman I've ever known."

"I'm not," I mutter, thinking about all the times I've lost my shit lately.

He half-sits up and stares down at me, mouth flattened in a line. "Don't put yourself down! You're an amazing mom. Those kids are fucking lucky they have a mom like you. My mom was nothing like you."

I sense there's a story there, but he says nothing more. Before I can ask, Chloe stirs and the moment passes.