21. Whos Afraid Now?

TWENTY-ONE

"You kids ready to head inside?" Maria's voice was soft over the fire we sat around. She had Lily snuggled into her chest under a blanket. Parker's parents were cuddled up in chairs on the patio while Parker and I roasted marshmallows, seeing who could make the perfect golden brown one.

"Thinking about it. How is she?"

"Perfect." Maria traced Lily's arm, looking at her granddaughter with so much love in her eyes. "Do you want her back?" I could tell by the way she asked that she didn't really want to give her up yet.

Parker came up behind me and tugged me into his side. "Could you keep her tonight, Ma? I think Del and I are going to watch a movie."

"Sure, buddy! Go on and have fun." She was genuinely excited to spend more time with Lil, and I think she'd do anything to encourage Parker and I to spend more time together.

I wrung my hands. "You'll let me know if you need anything, right? If she gets upset and?—"

"I promise."

"Come on."

After washing my face and getting ready for bed, I joined Parker in the room we were sharing for the night. Maria conveniently "didn't have another room made up" so we were stuck together. It was far from the first time Parker and I shared a bed platonically, but it had been years.

"What are we watching?" I hopped up next to him on the bed. Parker was back in his light gray Nike sweatpants and still no shirt. I turned my attention to the TV in hopes that my brain hadn't had enough time to register his lack of clothing. "I know it's Halloween, but I'm not watching something scary so you can laugh at me."

He chuckled. "Way ahead of you."

Parker hit play, and a wide smile spread across my face as two kids ran across the sand in a thunderstorm trying to outrun the lightning.

"Sweet Home Alabama?" He'd cued up my favorite rom-com on Halloween. One I'd made him watch over and over when we were younger.

"Yeah, I'd rather watch you drool over Patrick Dempsey and Josh Lucas than have a nightmare in my bed." He tilted his head on a thought. "Do let me know if it inspires other dreams though. I can console you in any way you like, Dellie Girl."

I shoved his shoulder and teased him. "You'll hold me when I cry because my dreams of McDreamy aren't real?"

He shook his head and slid his arm around my back. "Shut up and watch the movie before I change it to Annabelle."

I slipped out of his hold and stole the remote from his bedside table. "I know where you're sleeping tonight, James. I don't advise it."

"What are you gonna do, Dellie? Smother me with a pillow?" he taunted. Parker tried to pull it from my hands but I held on, making me fall against him. Before I knew it we were in a full-on tug of war match, and I was determined to win.

"Give it back," I demanded, yanking on the damn thing. He was stronger simply by being a man, and it pissed me off. Well, it was a good thing I knew his weaknesses. I let go and he fell back into the pillows. "Fine, you win."

"You're giving up pretty easily there, Del. Going soft in your old age?"

"You're older than me, asshole."

"Older, wiser, stronger." He flexed, feeling like he won.

When he wasn't looking I made my power move. Within seconds, I was across the bed and sitting on his stomach.

"That's not how I remember this going last time we were in bed together."

"Shut the fuck up." And my plan commenced. Parker had an extremely vulnerable spot on the back of his thigh that made him kick and flail like no other. It was hilarious, but most importantly it made him do whatever I said. It had worked for years. I never had brothers, but I had Parker, and that was close enough. I wasn't stronger, but I'd evolved other ways to assert my dominance.

"Ah!" he screamed like the little bitch he was.

"What do you say?" I asked, not letting up on tickling him.

"You're insane!"

"That's not very nice."

"Fine, fine! I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Saying I was going to make you watch a scary movie."

"And?" He knew the drill. There was a sequence to the apology I expected.

"I won't do it again!" His laughs were shaking my whole body from where I sat on top of him.

"And?"

"I'll be your best friend."

"You already are." I rolled my eyes. "And?"

"I'll rub your back for the rest of the movie." Parker knew how to negotiate with me.

"Deal!" I climbed off of him with a speed I'd probably never achieve on a treadmill. In seconds, I was laying on my stomach with my head propped up on a pillow. "Play the movie."

Parker let out a long sigh, and I heard the blankets shift as he situated himself so he was sitting just below my ass.

"This isn't how I remember this position either." He couldn't see the cheeky smile on my face.

"Shut up, Delilah. Do you know how hard I'm going to have to concentrate to not get a boner right now?"

"Yeah." I wiggled slightly. "That would be a damn shame."

Parker hissed. "Jesus Christ Del, don't make me fuck you for the first time in my parents' basement."

"It wouldn't be the first time. Don't tell me you forgot about how Lily got here? I knew boys had smaller brains, but I didn't think?—"

Before I could finish my sentence Parker had me flipped onto my back, and I was captive beneath his hips.

"Delilah, I swear to God. You are the most frustrating woman I've ever met." He pinned my wrists above my head with one hand, and the other brushed a thumb over my lips. "It will be special all the same."

"Will be? That's a little confident, don't you think?"

He scoffed. "Like you can resist me."

"I resisted you just fine for a year and a half."

"Because I was thousands of miles away. Now I'm right here, and it's only a matter of time. I can be patient. I've waited for you for years, Del. A few months, a few years. Easy."

The sincere expression on his face made my heart feel heavy in my chest and sent me into fight or flight.

"I have to pee." It was the first thing that came to my mind to de-escalate the tension mounting between us.

Parker watched my face for a few seconds before shaking his head. "Yeah, right." He released my wrists and helped me up.

I spent five long minutes staring in the bathroom mirror questioning every decision I'd ever made when it came to Parker and wondering how long I was going to punish myself by being scared we'd turn out like my parents.

No solution came to mind, so I did the walk of shame back to the bedroom and found Parker waiting with the remote in hand. The lights were off and he was under the covers.

"Ready?"

I peeled the blankets back and crawled in, making sure to leave enough space that our bodies didn't touch.

"Ready."

We watched the rest of the movie in silence. I laughed at parallels with our lives and theirs as if it didn't break my heart that we might not end up kissing in a thunderstorm.

That night I didn't dream of McDreamy or Josh Lucas. I dreamt of Parker and I, and the life we could have if I stopped being afraid.