21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

ISABEL

Annie did not resurface. Not at first. I watched my sister crumble, and when I finally had to point out the time, cringing to do it when she was finally letting herself feel and unleash some of the burden she’d been holding in for so long, Annie didn’t respond. Not until Mom and Uncle Blake tried to help her up, and she flipped. I had to call Jet over to help me get her up the stairs, and I stood with her in the bathroom as she showered while Jet waited in the bedroom, looking like it absolutely killed him to see her that way.

By the time Annie had gotten out of the shower, she was composed enough to get dressed, and we headed out to meet Tucker, driving to our graduation practice in his truck.

“Not another word today,” she said before we got out. “I’m fine. Or I will be. Today is supposed to be a good day. Can we ignore this morning to turn it back around? At least for today?” She looked around at all of us, hope in her voice as she quietly begged .

“You got it.” Tucker gave her a grin, and Jet pulled her in for a quick kiss, touching his forehead to hers before we got out.

I agreed as well, willing to do whatever my sister needed, but I was skeptical that this was it. The only reason I was agreeing to put it on hold was because of what she said. Today was supposed to be amazing. But between breakdowns and nightmares and tension mounted so high it felt like I had to swim through my own house, it was nothing like what I’d pictured for graduation day.

Witnessing Annie’s breakdown earlier had been heart wrenching, and I finally understood how she felt all those times when she’d wanted to but knew she couldn’t help me .

What she’d said to Mom was true. We didn’t need her anymore. We knew how to get by on our own. But at the same time, she was our mom . And in other ways we hadn’t wanted to admit, we did need her.

I’d chipped at the iceberg that encompassed my feelings about the overdose that night after prom. Today, it had been Annie’s turn. Our relationships with Mom were still rough, but they were better than before. We were starting to heal, at least, I hoped Annie was. Especially since now it felt like Mom was finally beginning to understand how deeply what she’d done had impacted our lives.

Mending what she’d broken was going to take work, and in all honesty, I was nervous. After this weekend, Uncle Blake would be gone. Aunt Rosa and our cousins were coming today for graduation, and they’d be leaving together in just a few days .

If only they were the only cousins coming. My stomach twisted in knots as that realization hit me, my anxiety hitting full force over it the rest of the time we were at graduation practice. I’d encouraged Tucker to make amends with Micah, but since I’d refused to come forward to our families about all the things he and his brother had done, Ryder was getting a front and center seat to our family gathering and graduation, too.

He’d be sitting in these stands, watching me tonight. I’d have to be in the same room with him again, pretending everything was fine around our families. The thought alone made me sick. Half of me would rather deal with Zane. In a way, I’d done it to myself, but I stood by my decision. I would not screw up Tucker’s family.

Family was precious. Even if mine was messed up.

I could make it through one day.

When practice was finally over, Annie and I went out for a quick lunch with the guys, the four of us scarfing down our favorite platter of nachos after Tucker called the restaurant to check and make sure Ruby wasn’t working today. I’d tried to invite Nic, too, but he was already on his way to Houston to meet his dad at the airport.

Promising to invite him out again before he flew home in a couple weeks, I hung up to Annie’s frown, but she quickly shook it away. After that, the four of us talked and flirted and sipped at our drinks as long as we could, our mood lifting as the excitement of the day started to set in.

This was our day. One we weren’t going to get again.

We needed to enjoy it.

Eventually prying ourselves away from the reverie of our bubble, Tucker drove us home, and while he and Jet were roped into helping prep for the party, Annie and I were sent to the store for some last-minute things Jenna and Helen messaged that they needed.

“Streamers and balloons?” Annie scoffed at the text. “I’ve got to plan a late birthday thing for Jet after this. I should never have left it up to Stef and Helen this year.”

I grinned, turning the basket around to head to the party supplies aisle. “To be fair, they’re combining it with a graduation thing, too. And Nic’s birthday.”

“Which is on Monday .” She rolled her eyes. “Jet’s is tomorrow. It should be two separate things. Or they should’ve let me plan something for both their birthdays tomorrow and just made today’s party about graduation.”

I widened my eyes, mocking like I was aghast. “You’d plan a birthday thing for Nic , too?”

Annie side-eyed me with a look. “You know what I meant.”

“Come on.” I bumped her arm with mine. “You haven’t warmed up to him at all?”

“Not really.” She frowned, rushing ahead to start looking over the decorations. “I’ve learned to tolerate him some, but will I ever like him? Debatable… Doubtful.”

“Better than a hard no.” I glanced at my Fitbit when it buzzed with a text.

Chuck: Charcoal. Lighter fluid.

“Crap. That’s on the other side of the store.”

“What is?” Annie tossed a few bags of balloons in the basket.

“Chuck wants us to pick up charcoal and lighter fluid. I guess he has less than he thought. I know I saw some on the back patio the other day when Tucker and I went over. We still need to get the drinks and the stuff Jenna asked for, too.”

“Why don’t I go grab another basket for all of that and you go grab the charcoal? Meet up by the bakery?” She tossed some black and red streamers in the basket, and I shifted them to the corner to make room.

“Sounds good.”

We took off, and I rushed down the aisles to the garden center where the charcoal was stacked by the grills. Placing a couple of jugs of lighter fluid in my basket first, just to be safe and have enough, I started looking over the bags of charcoal, trying to find the label that matched the bag I usually saw Chuck use.

Finally spotting it on the second shelf, I grabbed the extra large size and pulled, stumbling back under its weight. My high heel twisted, and I was tumbling down, cringing as I prepared to land on my ass, when someone caught me from behind and lifted me back up.

“Oh, my God, thanks. I’m so sorry about that.” I flushed with my shock, humiliation eating at me through my relief as I looked over my shoulder, their hand still steadying me by my elbow.

“It’s been a long time since you’ve blushed like that because of me.”

The color instantly drained from my face, and I took a step back. Zane frowned, and if I didn’t know any better, I’d think he looked genuinely sad about my reaction.

“Are you looking to give me more info to stick on your case for the hearing?” I snapped, struggling to adjust my hold on the bag.

Zane rolled his eyes. “Of course not.”

“Then what are you doing here? ”

He held up a sprinkler head. “Errands for my mom.” I narrowed my gaze, not sure if I believed him, and he sighed. “Do I even want to know what you’re thinking?”

“If you were following me.” I shifted the bag some more, nearly stumbling, and Zane rolled his eyes again before taking it from me and setting it in my basket.

I glared, my heart pounding at him being near.

“No need for a thank you.” He said it like a dig. “And I’ve been down that next aisle for ten minutes trying to find something that matches the picture my mom sent me. So, no, I wasn’t following you. I was just heading to the register when I saw you pulling down the charcoal. Would you rather I had just let you fall?”

“Of course not,” I snapped and grabbed the basket. “I’m gonna go before this turns into something we’re both going to regret.”

I’d barely started to push when he grabbed the side of the basket. “Izzy, wait.”

A spark of fear flashed through me, hating when he cornered me and when it felt like I couldn’t leave, but I shoved it down. I was tired of feeling weak around him, and with the hearing just days away, I finally held some of the power. “Zane…” I warned, everything in me on alert.

He stopped, dropping his hand from the edge of the basket, and his brow creased. An expression I recognized for when he was debating what to say.

Why in the hell I was waiting to hear it, I didn’t know. I had no desire to push him with what happened last time, but it was like my feet were frozen. I could leave here the winner right now if I could just move . But maybe that was why I didn’t move. I always did stupid things around him.

“Can I please say something before you go? ”

I groaned. “Go ahead. It’s your last chance before the hearing. Might as well get it out.”

I wondered how much I’d regret it. The deep bruises on my arms seemed to ache at the thought.

“Thanks.” He looked surprised before he smiled, but it wasn’t that sly, sickening smile this time. “I’ll swear it on my grandpa if it helps you believe I wasn’t following you today, but I won’t lie that I’ve been hoping for another chance to talk to you.”

“Don’t make it a story, Zane. You can swear on things all you like, but I don’t trust you.” Not after all I know now.

His face fell some, and he nodded. “I get that. But I wanted to apologize, in person , for hurting you. I didn’t mean to. You just… pushed me, and my anger took over.”

Annnd, it was almost a sincere apology. It was too little too late even if it was.

“Yeah, well, I’ve heard steroids doesn’t really leave people much control over that.”

“And that’s why I’m working hard to get them out of my system, Izzy. I’m going to a rehab facility in June out in California, after I finish with that alternative program. My mom has an old college friend out there that helped my parents find a really good place. I’ll even be in counseling sessions that will help me work on all of my anger issues. Not just the… drug -induced ones. In a few months, I’ll be good. Or at least improved.” His eyes poured over me, like he was searching for my response.

“Why are you telling me this?” I almost whined. I just wanted to be done with him. Although, it really was good to know he’d be completely out of state for several months. There’d be no risk of bumping into him. Maybe ever, depending on where he was going for college .

“Because I finally see how much I’ve hurt you. You got through to me that day, and…” He seemed reluctant to finish.

“And?”

“And I don’t want to scare you anymore.”

The breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding came out in a whoosh. “That would be ideal.”

“I’m going to get better,” he said, staring down at me, and if I didn’t know better than to trust him, it looked like there was actual sincerity in those dark as sin eyes that just a year ago had me pulled into their depths. Right now, his expression was completely earnest.

“Don’t just do it because of me. Do it for yourself.” And for any other girl that you may date some day. Or blackmail, you ass.

He nodded.

Because I couldn’t stand not to know. Because I was nervous not to know, I asked, “Where will you be in the fall? After rehab?” Oh, God. Did something just flicker in his eyes?

“I’ve got a scholarship to Baylor, so probably there. Even if the restraining order goes through, my dad has pull.”

Relief washed through me, not even caring what that meant. All I knew was Baylor was at least a couple of hours away. There’d be some distance.

“Well, good luck.” I started to push the basket away. “I really hope you get better.” For every female’s sake I did.

Rushing then to leave him behind, I was just exiting the garden center when I saw Annie up ahead, and her eyes narrowed past my shoulder before they blazed in anger.

Shit.