Twenty-three

Twenty-three

DESI

When Jace and I get inside the house, I lean against the counter after tugging off my boots and socks. "Don't judge me, but my body hurts from going up and down those hills so many times."

He removes his beanie and neatly folds it before sliding it into his jacket pocket. "You took it like a pro today. I think you deserve a treat."

"Do I?"

"I don't suppose you bought a swimsuit during one of your many shopping sprees?" he says, cocking an eyebrow.

The thought of swimming in ice-cold water makes my body hurt even more. I'd do better running outside naked during a blizzard. I open my mouth to say as much when Jace flips a switch on the wall. Beyond the back porch the pool lights up in blue and purple, and steam rolls from the water.

"It's heated, and I cranked it up before we left. It should do the trick."

I nearly moan at the thought of hot water covering my tired muscles. "Oh my. You do realize this is sort of like a huge bathtub, right? You're giving me the ultimate reward. Are you sure I deserve it after borrowing your tub that one time?"

He steps closer and runs his thumb over my bottom lip. "I think you've already made up for that in more ways than one."

I nip at his thumb with my teeth and grin. "I'll be right back," I say and dart up the stairs to my room as fast as my sore body will take me, peeling off all my clothes as soon as I get inside. Rifling through my dresser, I pull out two bikinis: one is black and the other emerald green. Warmth blooms in my belly and I toss the black one back into the drawer and slip into the green one, which fits every curve perfectly. The cut of the top showcases my mark, and something about being able to show it off to Jace gives me butterflies in every part of my body. Not to mention, the color is almost identical to the dress I wore to the charity event, and I know Jace loved it. I hope this has the same effect.

Grabbing a towel and slinging it over my shoulder, I descend the stairs again to find Jace leaning against the island with one leg crossed over the other, looking down at his phone. He's wearing black swim trunks and no shirt, and I am struck once again by how perfect his body is. I suppose that's the result of not sleeping in, running, and spending an hour in your personal gym each day. I guess I'll keep my soft tummy in exchange for extra sleep.

"Hey. I'm ready," I say.

Jace sets down his phone and gestures to the back doors. My feet freeze and my skin grows tight just thinking of stepping out into the cold with so little on. I'm second-guessing my excitement for a swim.

"What are you waiting for? Open the door and let's jump in," he says, stepping beside me.

"But it's cold out there," I say in a small voice. "My feet are going to freeze before we get into the pool." I gesture to my body. "And in case you didn't notice, my swimsuit is kind of . . . skimpy."

"Oh, I noticed. And heaven forbid that the princess's feet get cold."

Without a warning he sweeps me up in his arms, like a groom carrying his bride over the threshold, and opens the back doors. My eyes grow wide when the edge of the pool gets closer.

I pound on his shoulder, screaming, "No, Jace. Please!"

"I'm not letting you back out of this."

I open my mouth to protest again, but he jumps into the air, and we're flying into the steaming water. As soon as it hits me, the tension in my muscles disappears. It's so warm and calm. I'm tempted to float to the bottom and melt, but the need to see Jace wet is stronger.

We surface at the same time. Brushing his hair from his face, he says, "Sometimes you just have to jump."

"Yeah?" I say, chewing on my bottom lip. "Well, I do have to admit that I'm finding that to be the case the longer I spend here. The best things seem to happen when we just let go." I tangle my fingers in his hair and pull him closer to me, kissing the corner of his mouth.

"And what is the next thing you hope happens?" He kisses my neck, working his way across my shoulder.

I lean my head to one side, letting my hair fall back over my arm, enjoying the feeling of his mouth on my skin. "I kind of like the direction this is going, what do you think?"

"I promised a reward for your obliteration of Hannah's ego at the restaurant, didn't I?"

"You certainly did. And on top of everything else, I wore this bathing suit just for you. Any idea why?"

"No clue." He tugs on the bow behind my neck before releasing the one at the center of my back. The fabric drifts away from us while he continues kissing and nipping at my collarbone. The warm water laps at my skin, and Jace cups my breast, kneading and stroking the hard peak. If I weren't already weightless, I would fall to my knees at the mixture of sensations.

"I—" Words try to flow off my tongue but it's nearly impossible to focus on forming a sentence as his mouth moves lower between my breasts, toward my mark. "Did the color look—" I gasp as he pinches one of my nipples before soothing it with a soft brush of his palm. "Familiar to you?" The last part of my sentence comes out as a squeak.

"It's that damn green. My new favorite color, but this is a very close second," he says, making a point of licking my nipple.

I lean my head back and offer him my other breast. "Perfect." I say with a wink as I meet his gaze. I hop up, wrapping my legs around his waist and hooking my ankles behind him. Running my tongue along his jawline, I kiss down the cords of his neck. "Can I ask you something?"

He looks down at me and raises an eyebrow. "Of course."

"Remember that night after the charity event when we . . ." I don't know why I'm embarrassed to say it when we're tangled together in a pool with his lips trailing over my bare skin.

"When we watched each other masturbate through our bedroom windows?" he fills in, planting more kisses down the center of my chest.

I try and fail to hold back a laugh. "Yeah. That. I've always wondered . . . what were you so engrossed in on your phone when you came in? What was it that got you so worked up?"

With a deep breath, he opens his mouth to speak but stops, and a bashful smile tilts his lips up. I'm really intrigued now. Jace is embarrassed.

"Um . . . it was you."

"What do you mean it was me? You were sporting that boner long before you knew I was watching."

I didn't think it was possible, but he turns another shade of red. "I got the boner while staring at a picture I took of you dancing that night."

I'm stunned into silence for a moment, struggling to find my words. "Wait. You took a photo of me that night and—"

"It wasn't a creepy picture. You had your arms up and that damn green dress was just clinging to every curve. I just planned to look at it once more and get ready for bed, but—"

I want to interrupt him before he can keep going, before he can work himself into a spiral of thinking he'd messed up, but I can't even think fast enough to form a coherent sentence. Finally, I blurt, "No—no, I don't mean it like that. I'm not creeped out, I—I'm just confused. I thought I was still just that irritating third wheel roommate you let move in because you didn't want to argue. But you were taking pictures of me because you thought I looked beautiful?" Tears spring to my eyes at the thought.

"At what point during that night did you think I wanted you anywhere but in my arms? I had to excuse myself after dancing with you to catch my breath. Your mere presence changed my entire night. You made everything so much better . . . easier. And that's not something I'm used to getting from another person. It overwhelmed me."

I rest my forehead on his shoulder. "That is honestly the sweetest thing you could have said."

"I'm glad you don't want to have me arrested for being a Peeping Tom."

It's my turn to blush. "Well, I'd be quite the hypocrite if that were the case," I mutter.

His eyes snap to mine. "What'd you say?"

I sigh and drop my legs from around his waist and disentangle my arms from his neck, standing to face him while I make what might be my most humiliating confession. "One night I was in bed, just minding my own damn business, trying to sleep, when you were freaking undressing in front of the window! I watched you. I just couldn't look away. I watched you undress like a creep, and it was all I could do to keep my hand out of my panties while I did it," I blurt, my words a long stream with basically no pause for breath. "I'm sorry." I cover my face with my hands and let out a groan.

He moves my palms away and grins. The flash of his teeth and the glint in his eyes speak volumes. I just have no clue what is going to come out of his mouth. "I could have closed the curtains, Desi. You left yours open, so I did the same. It turns out I was just putting on performances for you longer than you were for me."

I gape at him. "You knew I was watching you?"

"I had a feeling, or maybe it was wishful thinking. Either way, it was a rush."

Warmth floods from my face to my core and I jump onto him, wrapping my legs back around his waist. "I'm glad I could give you that. Watching you certainly gave me one. So how many times did you see me naked?"

"Naked?"

"Sure."

"Zero. I always looked away. I'd just watch you prancing around your room in your little thongs and bras. I didn't want to go full blown creeper. That is until the other night when you invited me to the topless Desi show. Why? How many times did you see me naked?"

I blush at the thought of the skimpy nightclothes I wear in my room at night and meet his eyes as I drape my arms over his shoulders. "None. I swear. I'd never invade your privacy that way."

"So just some innocent admiring in private moments on both our parts."

"It sounds like it."

"I'm not interested in innocently watching anymore." He hooks his thumbs in my bikini bottoms. "Let me take these off."

My breath catches and I lean back to better see his face. "Please. But can I—" I untangle my legs from around his waist and stand in front of him, running my hands down his abdomen. "Can I take these off too?" I ask, dipping my fingers under his waistband.

"Fair is fair."

He helps me out of my bottoms and tosses them onto the deck of the pool. I follow his lead until we both stand in front of each other naked. I can make out hints of his body through the water. As the lights merge from one hue to the next, I sometimes get a better glimpse. It's enough for where we are in this thing we have going, yet it's not enough at all.

I drag my eyes back up to his face and push that stubborn strand of hair off his forehead again. "How is it possible that you are a human and yet so perfect, and I'm a freaking immortal demon princess and so imperfect?"

His lips form a firm line, and he shakes his head. "Nah. We're not doing this tonight or any night after. This, you, are gorgeous and curvaceous and soft and sexy. I won't accept anything else out of your mouth."

I can't help the smile that spreads across my face. "Yes, sir," I say, sliding my hands around his waist and pressing myself against him. "Has anyone ever told you you're extremely bossy?"

He glides his palm up my back and tangles his fingers in my hair. Pulling so my head is tilted back, he says, "Has anyone ever told you that you're spoiled and need someone to put you in your place?"

I whimper under the force, but I love the throbbing it sends between my legs. "Yes, you did, that day I used your tub. Is that still what you think?"

"Yes, it is. Go to the steps, turn around, and put your hands on the deck. Make sure your back is arched with that perfect ass presented to me."

"Okay," I whisper, swimming to the side and doing exactly as he said, gripping the edge and putting my backside in the air for him to do with as he pleases. My teeth chatter as the frosty wind nips at my exposed flesh, so I lower to my elbows. The warm water laps at my shoulders and the back of my thighs while the chilled air on my rear reminds me how vulnerable this position is. It takes everything in me to not look over at him.

The water stirs around me, and Jace's palms rest on my hips. With a solid stroke, his fingers graze along my sides and over my shoulders. His chest presses into my back, and his voice is a low rumble in my ears when he says, "I've never seen you look sexier than you do right now. And trust me, I find myself thinking you're sexy very often."

"Very often, huh? What do I have to do to change that to all the time?" I tease, wiggling my hips against him and running my tongue along my bottom lip.

He pulls away from me, and his palm lands on my ass with a wet smack. I suck in a breath at the sting and rub my thighs together. I've heard a little pain intensifies pleasure, but I never thought it would feel like this. It doesn't matter how Jace touches me—rough, gentle, taunting—I want more. I always want more.

"Keep grinding your ass on my cock like that and it'll be all I think about for the rest of my life," he says.

His words send heat through my veins and a shock to my heart. I tighten my grip on the edge of the pool, and a smile spreads across my face as I grind harder, hoping like hell that he spanks me again. "Yeah? I want that; I want to leave my mark on your memory so that every time you touch yourself, every time you touch someone else, you think of me," I whisper.

"Sweet Desideria. You have a filthy mouth, but it's nothing compared to the things I imagine doing to you."

Jace grips my hips, guiding them back until they're pressed against him. He's like smooth steel, sliding against me. My body aches to feel him everywhere, inside and out. The blissful sensation comes and goes too soon, replaced by another swift spanking.

"You look so pretty with my mark on you."

"Jace," I gasp. "I need more. More of you." I glance over my shoulder again and search his face to find his gray eyes blazing. "Please, Jace. I want you to fuck me."

He stills behind me. His eyes squeeze shut, and he releases a long breath. The way his body goes rigid and how he tilts his head side to side, it's like a man at the edge of destruction making the decision to step away.

"No," he says, but he doesn't move back.

In one swift motion, he spins me around and takes my place sitting on the steps. My stomach sinks when I think I said too much and he's done. But Jace pulls me forward and positions me to straddle him. His fingers move to my hair, sweeping the red curls from my face. "Keep grinding against me," he demands.

He doesn't have to tell me twice; I grip his shoulders and position myself on top of him, rolling my hips over his in a slow rhythm that has my heart thumping against my ribs and my core pulsating with the sudden need for release.

Jace wraps my hair around his hand and pulls until my chin tilts back, giving him a clear path to my neck. He places his lips to my pulse and says, "That's it, little hurricane, make us both feel good."

My skin burns under his kiss, and my whimpers grow louder with each roll of my hips. "Fuck," I gasp, when he brushes against my clit just right. I need him to feel the torturous pleasure I feel. My hips move faster, and my fingers slip into his hair and tug. "I know you want to be inside me, Jace. Why don't you just give in?"

"Because you deserve better than what I can give you." He glides his mouth over the swells of my breasts. "You're worthy of more than my damaged heart and a fuck in a pool."

I use my strength to pull my hair from his grip and pinch his chin between my thumb and forefinger, forcing his eyes to mine. "We're all damaged, Jace. Some of us just have deeper cuts than others. Don't think for a second that it makes you not enough. Got it?" I push him backward onto the stairs so I'm dominating him, at least for the moment.

The muscles in his cheeks flex as he fights back a smile, but it breaks through. He grips my waist pressing me down on him. All it would take is one slight movement and he would be buried inside me. "Yes, ma'am. You're sexy like this."

I smirk and lean forward, capturing his lips with mine. "So are you," I whisper against them, and when I grind against him this time, my body thrums with need. "You feel so fucking good."

He eases his hand between us, and his thumb presses to my center, massaging small circles. The throb between my legs morphs into hot need. And when he presses two fingers inside me, I moan his name. Moving back on his thighs, I take him in my hand and match his pace. Our breathing quickens and he grabs the back of my neck, pulling me into a kiss. Frantic tongues and muffled moans, we're on the brink of losing ourselves.

"Come for me, Jace. That's all I need to fall apart. That's what you want to see, isn't it? What you want to feel? Every bit of this desire flowing from me, all of it for you?" I murmur, nipping his plump bottom lip with my teeth.

"Fuck yes." His back arches and another finger slides inside me, stretching me in a way I've never experienced. My whimper of pain and pleasure is all it takes. Jace pulsates in my hand, his lips devouring mine with pure hunger. And he is off on that euphoric high.

That's all I need to come unglued. I whisper his name over and over as I ride his hand, wave after wave of pleasure racking every inch of my body.

His fingers don't let up until I fall limp against his chest. The gentle stroke up my spine and back again reminds me to breathe until my heart settles. "You're so perfect," he whispers into my hair before kissing the top of my head.

I smile and hide my face against his chest as I wrap my legs around his waist. "Will you take me upstairs and just hold me for a while?"

"Of course." Jace carries me out of the pool and grabs a towel by the back door. He wraps it around us and takes me to my room. We settle into my bed and our bodies return to one another like two magnets drawn together.

I burrow into him, and my eyes get heavy. I'm so sleepy, but I want him to stay. I have a feeling, though, that he won't. Not all night. The first time we messed around he didn't stay, and he only did in Infernis because he had no choice. So I force my eyelids to stay open.

"Thank you for today, Jace," I whisper into the dark. "I enjoyed every single second of it."

"You're welcome. Thanks for laying it on extra thick with Hannah. I know it's petty, but I enjoyed watching her squirm."

I grin and nip at his collarbone. "Making her squirm gave me a thrill that was probably a little sadistic, but what can I say? I am a literal demon with the prince of Wrath for a big brother. So I guess I have an excuse."

"I would have sworn Wrath was your Circle in that moment," he says, twirling my hair around his finger. "I like watching your demon side let go. You should give in to that chaos more often."

I raise an eyebrow and say, "Oh? You think I should be more chaotic than I already am? You? Mr. Neat and Tidy? I'm truly shocked."

"It's in your nature, little hurricane, not mine. But I'll admit I'm starting to recognize how much fun it can be."

"Fair enough." I place my palm on his cheek and bring his lips down to mine. "I promise to explore my more chaotic side if you promise to stop punishing yourself for what your mother and Hannah did to you," I whisper, biting the inside of my cheek and hoping I haven't said too much. "One day, Jace, please, let yourself trust someone. Or at least try."

He kisses the tip of my nose. "I'm working on it. You've made it a little easier to do. I know exactly what I'm getting with you. You're not meant to stay, and I already know how this ends. So I just bask in moments like this, knowing they aren't tainted with false promises of forever."

I swallow, and I'm suddenly glad this room is dark because I'm sure hurt just crossed my features. How can he say he trusts me if he thinks that during any moment with me I'd make false promises? My chest caves in on itself, and I genuinely have no clue what to say to that.

Doesn't he know that if he would give me a chance, I'd—

I shake my head and close my eyes. There's no point in even thinking it.

It can never be.

I even out my breathing and feign sleep because I have nothing more to say. If I open my mouth to speak, my voice is sure to crack, and tears will fall. He'll know he hurt me, he'll feel bad, and tonight will be ruined.

A few minutes pass before Jace eases out of my hold. He pulls the blankets around my shoulders, tucking me in like a small child. The touch of his lips on my brow kick-starts my heart. I want to pull him back in the bed with me, but I curl my fingers into the sheet below me and keep my breathing slow. I don't know why it's important that he believes I'm asleep, but something deep inside me demands that I don't so much as flex a toe.

He speaks in a whisper so quiet it's hard to hear him. But I make out enough of his words.

"I wish you'd come into my life earlier, when I still had half my heart to give you. It wouldn't have been what you deserved, but I would have loved you totally with that half. Now, I can't even gather all the pieces and put them back together. It's just a dark void inside of me that you've shined a little light into. Thank you for that, Desi."

Footsteps pad across my room and the door opens and closes behind him.

Now that I'm alone, I let the tears fall and wish with everything in me that things were different.