Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

Reid

Fuckkkkkkk. Fucking fuck fuck.

I shouldn’t have let her try on outfits for me. The first one she came out in was a white skirt and pink top and she looked so sweet that I wanted to grab her and lick her all over.

No I didn’t!

Where the hell did that thought come from? I had to get myself together and focus. This was Sophie. Kaylee’s little sister. She wasn’t a person I could have licking thoughts about.

The second dress was almost worse. She looked gorgeous. If she walked into Sapph like that, she’d have to beat the lesbians off with a bat. She’d cause a riot.

I’d had to get up and leave so I didn’t say or do something that we’d both regret.

Sophie had asked me to do these lessons because I was a safe and platonic person for her to go to. It would be wrong of me to have non-platonic thoughts about her. She needed me to not be a fucking ogling creep.

I had to get it together. I needed to make sure that I didn’t fuck this up for her.

It was a relief to go into work and be so busy that I wasn’t thinking about Sophie.

Much.

It was so easy to think about her. To remember how she’d talked about fanfic, getting so excited that her words all kind of blurred together and her voice got louder and more intense. That kind of enthusiasm was rare. She reminded me a little bit of Stace that way, but there was just something about Sophie that made me want to sit and listen to her talk for hours. About anything. She could tell me about inflation or bread mold and I’d listen.

This was terrifying information for me. If you told me a few weeks ago that I’d met a woman I’d enjoy listening to for hours, I would have said you were living in an alternate reality.

Sure, I adored my friends and I loved talking with them, but even I had my limits and liked getting back to my quiet apartment. Most days I was so talked out from the bar that I didn’t want to hear another human voice.

I would want to hear hers.

Ohhhhh, this was not good. This was so, so bad.

On Saturday before work, I escaped my apartment and ran to Cade and Eloise’s. I sent Cade a text asking if we could hang out and I’d hauled my ass out of bed after not getting nearly enough sleep and drove to the brick Georgian that would always intimidate me.

“It’s just us,” Cade said when she opened the door, grinning at me while she wore sweatpants and a T-shirt and a pair of fluffy slippers, her strawberry blonde hair pulled into a sloppy ponytail.

I looked pretty much the same, so it was nice I didn’t feel like a total slob.

“Where’s Eloise?” I asked.

“She and Camile are out for the day. El and I try to make sure we do our own thing every now and then since we’re literally together all the time.” That seemed really healthy.

Cade was glowing as she led me through the house and into the kitchen where she’d set up some snacks for us. I hadn’t even eaten breakfast, so I was starving.

“So. What’s wrong?” Cade asked as she made us both lattes. She was practically a pro barista after making a bazillion for Eloise every day when they worked. I still couldn’t believe that she’d originally been Eloise’s assistant and now they were committed and living together.

“Nothing’s wrong,” I said, shoving a bite of chocolate croissant into my mouth.

“Reid. You asked to come over to my house. Not to go out for brunch. Not on a hike. You asked to come over here and I know you. Something’s up. Let’s talk.” She leaned against the counter and crossed her freckled arms.

“Can I at least have some caffeine first?” I groaned, resting my head on the marble countertop. Probably left a forehead print.

Cade snorted. “Yeah, sure.”

She let me have some caffeine and snacks before giving me an expectant look.

“Ugh, fine, okay.” I drained the dregs of my latte and reached for a handful of grapes. “So you remember the girl who moved in next door?”

Cade rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I remember. I’m not that bad.”

“I didn’t say you were, kid. God.” Letting out a sound of frustration, I pretended I was going to pelt her with a grape. She held her hands up to protect herself, but she didn’t need to.

Cade grinned at me. “Come onnnnn, Reid. Tell me. Something has happened. I can see it on your face.”

Now I definitely did want to hide my face behind a pillow. If there was one thing I hated, it was talking about myself, and talking about things like this. Part of the reason I avoided relationships was so I wouldn’t have to be in these exact situations. Feeling breathless and nervous and unsure and unstable. I hated it. Made me want to claw off my own skin.

“She’s newly out. Baby lesbian, apparently. And she’s got a lot of anxiety about trying to date and all that, so she asked me to kind of practice with her.” It sounded so silly and juvenile when I put it like that.

“She asked you to practice dating with her? Is this real? Am I suddenly living in a romcom?” she asked and then pinched me gently.

“Ow!” I said, swatting her away and pretending it hurt. “It’s not like that. She just has a hard time talking to people sometimes. So she asked me to help her. And I see a lot of people dating and so forth at Sapph.” I’d probably seen more first dates and hookups than someone at an actual dating service. Sapph had even done multiple speed dating events that I’d worked and those had honestly been fascinating. There was one coming up next month. Sophie should sign up. Or I should sign her up and then force her to go. She’d hate me, but it would be a good thing for her to do. She’d get a whole lot of conversational practice.

“Uh huhhh,” Cade said, drawing the last word out. “So you’re not teaching her how to kiss?” Her tone was hopeful.

“No, I’m not teaching her how to kiss because this is not a romance novel, you weirdo. I swear, living with Eloise has poisoned your brain.” I said it as a joke, and she grinned at me.

“It’s not so much living with a romance author, it’s sleeping with one,” she said, wiggling her eyebrows.

I slammed my hands over my ears. “I do not need to know about your sex life, Cade. Jesus.”

Cade yanked my hands down and cackled. “Sorry. So much regular amazing sex has made me see romance everywhere.” She let out a happy little sigh and I was rethinking throwing grapes at her.

“It’s not like that, Cade. She picked me because I live next door and she remembers me and feels comfortable from when she was a kid. That’s it.”

Cade pressed her lips together as if holding back something she wanted to say.

“Stop looking at me like that! I don’t like her.”

Cade pointed at me. “Liar! You’re such a liar. You do like her. You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t like her. You like her and you’re alllll twisted up about it.” Her face lit up like Christmas had come early.

“I don’t like her,” I said, but Cade just kept smiling.

“Yeah, you do. You like her a lot. Come on, tell me about her.”

I set my uneaten grapes down and groaned. “Fine, shit. It’s hard, you know? Because she looks like Kaylee. My ex. Who is her sister.” I needed to remember that fact more often. It was too easy to forget the more time I spent with Sophie.

Cade waved her hand. “Yeah, yeah, I don’t care about that. What about Sophie?”

I couldn’t just wave that off, but I also needed to talk to someone about all this crap, and Cade was available, and she was one of my best friends. Who else could I go to?

“She’s… She’s exactly the kind of person who would normally annoy the shit out of me. She’s a talker and she’s loud when she gets going and she gets so excited about things. I sent her some fanfic and she basically lost her mind and loved it so much. And she’s just kind of awkward and adorable and I don’t know. She makes cupcakes and loves to read romance and she’s got the prettiest eyes and what the hell?” I stopped talking because Cade had jumped off the couch and started going a little shimmy dance without an explanation.

“What are you doing?” I asked as she spun around with a grin on her face.

“You have a crush. Reid Hayward, you have a crush on Sophie and there’s no denying it. Woo!” There was more dancing and then I did start chucking grapes at her. She started trying to catch them, which led to me trying to throw them in her mouth.

“We’d better clean these up or Eloise is going to freak,” she said as we both laughed. “But back to much more important things. Reid. It’s not illegal to like someone. Even if that person is the younger sister of your ex. Is it complicated? Yeah, a little bit. Thanksgiving would be awkward. But if you like her, really like her, then don’t let all that other shit stand in your way. Do you know how many times I told myself that Eloise would never possibly like me, that we could never work for a bunch of bullshit reasons? She did the same thing and then we both decided to get out of our own way and let ourselves be happy. And we are. None of that other stuff matters.”

To her. None of that mattered to her .

“You don’t know. How bad it was with Kaylee. I never really told you,” I said, my voice low.

Cade sat back down, her mood somber.

“So tell me. Explain.” She gestured for me to go ahead. Like it would be easy to just open myself up like that.

“Fuck,” I said, exhaling. “I think I’m going to need a drink for that.”

A while later, after I’d made us both old fashioneds and spilled my guts about my past relationship, I was completely and totally drained. Cade sat next to me on the couch and sighed.

“That’s so fucking shitty. I’m so sorry.”

I lifted one shoulder. “It is what it is. It happened. I can’t change it, but I can prevent myself from falling for her sister.”

Cade snorted. “I hate to break it to you my dear, but you can’t stop yourself from falling for someone. Trust me, I’ve tried.”

Yeah, I knew about that. Her and Eloise.

“Well, I can. I can stop myself. Because I’m not falling for anyone again. It’s not worth the risk.” Besides, would I even be able to love someone again? I didn’t think so. And then whoever I was with would be getting less than they deserved so it would be cruel anyway. I’d thought about this so many times already. Gone over and over and always came to the decision that not getting involved was the best course of action.

“I’m going to help her find someone else and then go back to being her neighbor.”

Cade didn’t know about the banging on the wall incident. No one did. It didn’t feel right to share that situation with anyone else. It was private.

“Mmmhmmm,” Cade said, smirking at me. “All I’m going to say is don’t let your past ruin something that could be in your future.” I let out a little growling noise.

“Okay, okay, I’m done. Wanna raid my library?” Her eyes lit up and she got to her feet. “Come on. Eloise just got a whole box of books she’s supposed to blurb.”

I followed her upstairs to the library.

“As long as you give them back within like, a month, then take anything that strikes your fancy.” Cade was awfully cavalier about that, so I decided to avoid that box and went to her regular shelves instead.

I really didn’t need any more books, but when you had a friend who had her own massive library, you ended up bringing more books home. It was just what happened whenever I visited.

“Okay, you browse and I’m going to grab cake. Red velvet good?” If there was one thing Cade always had on hand, it was red velvet cake. It wasn’t my personal favorite, but I wouldn’t say no to it when offered.

“I can’t believe Eloise lets you eat up here,” I called as she left the room.

“She hates it, but she loves me so it all works out,” she said as she paused in the doorway.

I went back to the shelves as she skipped down the stairs.

There were truly an astonishing amount of books in this room. I couldn’t even begin to count how many. Eloise had had a ton before she even met Cade and then Cade had gone ham when they got together and she didn’t have to spend most of her paycheck on rent and could funnel that money to books. It was kind of the ideal situation for her.

“So you like the same kind of fanfic, huh?” Cade said, appearing with two plates of cake and forks. We sat together in the comfy reading chairs with a little table between us.

“Yeah, we do,” I said, getting wary.

Cade pointed at me with her fork. “You should let her read some of yours. I know you won’t let me read it, but you should send it to her and not say anything.”

I made a face. “Yeah, and what if she hates it?”

Cade cringed. “That would be awkward. But isn’t the kind of fanfic you write the same as what you like to read? Similar tropes and everything?” I nodded slowly.

“It stands to reason that she would like what you’re writing.” I’d thought about that, but the fear that she’d dislike one of my stories was too great to take a risk.

“No. I can’t. It’s fine for strangers to read my work, but I don’t want anyone I know in real life to.” I knew that didn’t make much sense, but that was how I’d always felt about it.

“One of these days I’m going to find it. I feel like I’ll know your voice if I read it.”

I completely disagreed with her. My work was so different than my personality. Fanfic was a place for me to explore things that were unsafe to think about in my real life.

Love. Romance. Sex. Vulnerability. Flirtation. Happily Ever Afters.

I could do all of those things in the safety of those little worlds that someone else had created, but in which I could play and let my imagination explore without limits.

Nowhere else had made me feel that free before. When I’d started dance, it had been like that. And then it wasn’t anymore.

“Sure you would,” I said, having a bite of cake. Cade curled her feet up on the chair and got comfortable.

“You know if you ever wanted to publish, I know people.”

“I know you know people, kid. It’s not going to happen.” Cade especially had been on me to make the switch from publishing fanfic to pursuing being an author in a more traditional sense but I’d told her exactly why I didn’t want to add money to the equation.

“I know, I know. But if you wanted to do something in publishing, even something part time, I could give you a crash course in being an author assistant. Once you know the ropes, it can be a good job.” She’d told me that before.

I wouldn’t lie, thinking about working remotely and not having to talk to a bunch of people and smile constantly sounded pretty great. But I wasn’t professional. I was a college dropout bartender. No one legit was going to hire me, not even with Cade vouching for my character. That kind of job was for someone else. Not for people like me.

It was sweet of her to offer, though.

“Maybe,” I said, and she dropped it, devouring the last of her cake.

I stayed for longer than I meant to with Cade.

“I missed you,” she said when I was getting ready to go. “I know it’s harder to see each other now, but I need to come to you. I feel like you’re always driving out here. I do miss the city, even if I don’t miss my old apartment.”

“Hunter’s place is better,” I said, because it was the truth.

“Yours isn’t bad. And I’d like to meet Sophie.”

Right. Sophie.

“She’s coming with me to Stace’s thing,” I admitted.

Cade squealed. “You have it so baddddd.”

“Shut up, Cade,” I said, pointing at her. “Shut up right now.”

She giggled and gave me another hug.

“We’ll see each other before then, though. Let me know when would be good next week for me to come and hang. I can fiddle with my work schedule.”

That sounded good to me. She agreed that we’d work it out in the group chat and maybe Hunter could join us too.

I got in my car and realized I had barely enough time to get home and get ready for work, but that was okay. Seeing Cade had been worth it. Even if she’d been a pain in my ass about Sophie.