Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

Sophie

I couldn’t stay up all night reading this fanfic and waiting for her to come home so I could yell at her about it, but I saved a document with my reactions that I could share with her during normal hours.

What was I going to do, wait outside her door and attack her the moment she came home from her exhausting job to yammer about fanfic? No. I definitely wouldn’t be her friend for very long if I did that.

So I kept all of it to myself and went to bed at a somewhat reasonable hour.

My alarm blared too soon the next day and I groaned as I slapped at my phone to shut it off. Reid was coming over for lunch and I had to get my shit together and make something. I still had a few things from the farmers’ market that I thought I could toss in a salad with some homemade dressing, but I needed something else. There was some thawed chicken in the fridge that I could throw on top of the salad, but it wasn’t very exciting. It would have to do, since I didn’t have anything else.

Oh well. I’d make it work.

I mixed up a quick marinade and let the chicken sit in that before tossing the strips in a pan and grilling them. I chopped and assembled the salad and set it in the fridge until we were ready. Since I was doing lunch, I hadn’t made cupcakes, but I did have some cookies in the pantry that I hoped would be good enough. They were chocolate with peanut butter frosting.

Reid knocked on my door at the right time again and I opened the door to find her holding a pitcher this time.

“Thirsty?”

“Yeah, come in.” I smiled and ignored the little flutters that erupted in my stomach when she walked inside and closed the door.

Reid yawned and set the pitcher down on the counter.

“Sorry. Worked late last night.”

“I know,” I said, and then wanted to bite my tongue. “I mean, I was aware that you worked nights. Is that hard?”

She shrugged. “It’s a job and I don’t completely hate it. Pay is good and I work four nights a week.”

Reid went to my cabinets and searched for some glasses. I liked that she was comfortable enough in my apartment to grab something.

I got the salad out of the fridge along with some plates.

“Ohhh, you have the bowl plates,” she said as I set everything out on the counter.

“Yeah, I love them,” I said as we filled out plates and added dressing and then carried everything to the couch. There was room enough for a table and chairs in my apartment, but I hadn’t gotten one. I’d rather spend my money on books.

Reid yawned again, her jaw cracking.

“Do you want some coffee or something?”

“No, the iced tea should do it,” she said. “It’s half and half.”

That was one of my favorites.

Reid poured me a glass and gulped one down before filing the glass again.

“How was work?” I had a bite of my salad and it was good, which was a relief.

She had a bite of salad and nodded in appreciation. “It was fine. Hunter and Stace showed up.”

I had yet to meet any of her friends, but she talked about them all the time.

“Stace’s parents are having this party and they invited me.” She made a face. “I don’t necessarily want to go, but they really want me to, and Cade and Eloise will be there so I don’t really have a good reason not to go.”

The salad must be good because she kept shoving forkfuls of it into her mouth.

“When is it?”

“Not for three weeks.”

I nodded and had a bite of chicken. “How about I go with you? Then, if you want to leave, you can blame it on me. I’m your get out of party free card.”

Reid set her fork down and raised both eyebrows. “You want to come with me? To my friend’s girlfriend’s parent’s party?”

“Well, yeah. I mean, sure.” Shit. I shouldn’t have said anything. This was one of those situations where I’d spoken before I thought about my words. Too much. It had been too much.

“Oh,” she said. “I mean, you don’t have to. But I guess it would be fine if you did. Stace would be happy. It is a very ‘the more, the merrier’ kind of thing.”

“I don’t have to go.” I was backtracking now and wishing my face wasn’t so damn red.

“No, actually that works. I won’t feel like a fourth wheel and I’m pretty sure Jo is going to say that she can’t come anyway. But if she does, you can meet her too.”

Her friend Jo was also a grad student and I was looking forward to meeting her so we could swap academic war stories.

“If you’re sure…”

Reid nodded. “Hell yeah, you should come. You can meet my friends and everything. The food will be good and Stace’s family is beyond nice.”

That didn’t sound too bad. I was surprised at myself for so readily agreeing to go into a situation where there would be so many unknowns. Right now, it was okay because it was in the future. A hypothetical. The closer the party got, though, my anxiety would seize its moment and force me to imagine every single worst-case scenario as if all of them were inevitable.

“You okay over there?” Reid leaned closer, staring at my face. She must have seen my spike in anxiety. Crap. I was so bad at hiding my emotions.

“Yeah. I’m good.” I nodded and swallowed before having some more of the half and half.

“You don’t have to come. If you decide you need to bail at the last minute, I’m good. Okay?”

“I know,” I said. “I’m not… You don’t need to baby me.”

Why was my brain so embarrassing?

“I’m not babying you, Soph. I don’t want you to do something if it’s going to make you miserable. I like it when you’re happy.”

Oh . Why did her saying that make me feel like I was going to cry?

“Uh, thank you?”

A beat of silence passed between us and Reid abruptly cleared her throat and then smiled at me. “Tell me how far you got in the fanfic. I’ve read it like three times.”

The subject change was more than welcome. I tried not to gush too much as I pulled up the notes I’d taken.

Reid didn’t seem to mind as I rambled on and on with increasing enthusiasm. I knew I was taking things too far, but I couldn’t stop. Once I got started, it was hard to reel it in. I usually had to trust someone to let them see this side of me. Without filters. Without holding back.

Reid listened and laughed, and she watched me with a somewhat dazed look on her face, but she didn’t tell me to stop. Or be quieter. Or look away and then make an excuse to leave. She let me ramble until I’d gotten it all out.

When I finally finished, Reid just smiled and then laughed.

“I’m glad you liked it.”

My stomach curdled in the way it did when I prepared myself for someone to reject me, but she didn’t. Instead she got out her phone and started searching for more fics to send me.

A little bit of tension left my body as we talked more, and I completely forgot about the reason she’d come over until she brought it up.

“Let’s say you’ve approached someone and you’re sitting together to talk. You’ve done the hardest part, which is getting her attention. What do you say next?”

There was my anxiety again. Right on time.

“Have you, um, been here before?” I asked, my voice tentative.

“No, this is my first time to Sapph. How about you?” She leaned toward me and for a moment I didn’t know what to say.

“I have a friend who works here so I’ve been once before. Sometimes she gives me free drinks.” I had no idea where that had come from, but I was going with it. Reid smirked.

“She sounds like a good friend to have. Is she hot?” Her question took me off guard.

“She’s gorgeous. Has these incredible brown eyes and she doesn’t smile a lot, but when she does? You know you’re seeing something special.”

The flirty look on Reid’s face faded and she went a little pale.

She stared at me as if she’d never seen me before.

Tilting her head to the side a fraction, she kept looking at me. “Is that how you see me?”

We weren’t pretending to be on a date anymore.

“It’s all true, Reid. You have gorgeous eyes and an amazing smile.”

Then she did something completely unexpected. She blushed.

Reid Hayward blushed .

Her face didn’t go as violently red as mine did. Instead, her cheeks took on a soft pink color and she ducked her head and I was hit with an intense desire to kiss her. I couldn’t stop looking at her mouth as I nibbled on my own bottom lip.

“You can’t say things like that, Sophie,” she finally said.

“Why not?” I asked.

She looked up at me and cleared her throat before she leaned back.

“I mean, you can say things like that to a woman and I have no doubt you’ll get her asking for a second date.” We were back to pretending again.

I tried not to be disappointed.

The rest of my lesson with Reid was fine, but she had pulled back and wouldn’t meet my eyes again.

“Do you want to come to Sapph? I don’t really want to go there when I’m not working, but I think I could suck it up.” She made a face and I could tell it wasn’t something she wanted to do, and I couldn’t blame her at all.

“No, I’m a big girl. I might just go and see the lay of the land. Maybe… Maybe you could help me pick out what I might wear? In order to send signals that I’m available.”

Reid snorted. “Yeah, I can do that.” We had talked about style a little bit and she’d given me a rundown of celebrities and explained butch, soft butch, femme, high femme, and all the other varieties in between.

“A lot of people get stuck on labels and that works for some people, but I prefer a little more flexibility, you know? I feel more like a lazebian. Like, my style is as chill and whatever as possible. Not super femme, not super masc, just kind of in between and comfortable, you know?”

That made sense. Most of the time I saw her she was just wearing distressed jeans and a T-shirt that had seen better days. She looked good, though. It was a look that worked for her.

When I’d first come out, I’d kind of panicked about my wardrobe for at least a week. I’d wondered if I’d have to give up my some of my favorite things. Then Larison had talked with me and told me I didn’t need to do any of that, and I calmed down.

“Do you have time for that?” I asked. She’d been here a lot longer than I thought she would be.

“Yeah, I’ve got enough time. Show me what you got.” I’d put out the cookies and she’d eaten most of them.

“Okay,” I said and went to my bedroom. I pulled out a cute skirt and a top that went together. It was more of a casual look, but it was one of my favorites. Mostly because the skirt was super twirly and had shorts underneath so I didn’t have to worry about flashing my underwear.

I came out and did a little spin because that was what happened when I wore this outfit.

“Cute? Not cute?”

Reid leaned, her arms on her knees and stared at me.

“Reid?” She hadn’t said anything yet.

She blinked and looked up at me. “Uh yeah, it’s cute.” There was hesitation there.

“But?” I asked.

“I don’t know if it’s what you want to wear to Sapph. Do you have something that’s maybe more of an evening look? Something darker?”

That made sense. This was more an afternoon kind of fit.

“Hold on. Let me try again.” I ran back to my bedroom and shoved a bunch of hangers aside to find the dress I was looking for. It was a dress that had dark blue flowers, short sleeves, a tie at the waist and was cut low enough that it gave me a little bit of cleave, but not too much. It was also twirly, but not as twirly as the skirt and super comfortable.

“How’s this?” I asked.

Reid did that silent thing again and it took her a few seconds to say anything. “No, yeah, that’s perfect.”

I looked down at my bare feet. “I have some wedges that will work with it and make me a little taller. I figure I’ll be sitting down most of the time so I won’t have to worry about my shoes being too comfortable.”

I glanced back up and found Reid gazing at me intently. Her brown eyes glowed and my breath caught for a second. She was looking at me like…like she wanted to get off the couch and touch me. Her hands clenched on her knees, her knuckles white.

Or maybe I was imagining things. I had to be imagining it. Reid wasn’t into me. No way was she into me.

“I think it’s a winner,” Reid said, her voice rough before she pushed herself to her feet. “I’ve, um, got to go get ready for work.”

“Yeah, of course. Thanks so much for helping me again. I don’t think I’ll come tonight, but maybe tomorrow?” If my anxiety didn’t act up. But knowing that Reid would be there, even if I couldn’t talk with her, made things better somehow. And I could always go over and if I wasn’t feeling it, I could leave. That was something I repeated to myself over and over. If I wasn’t comfortable, I could leave. No one was keeping me anywhere that I didn’t want to be.

“Maybe I’ll see you there,” Reid said, holding the door open.

“Have a good night at work. I hope you get lots of tips.” She rolled her eyes and shut the door.