Chapter 4

Kai

I didn't know why it bothered me so much, but since Sen ran out of that bathroom, looking like I'd shit on his face, I'd been replaying it.

Had I been rude? I asked the same question yesterday, even though he was the one who knocked me over. He almost did it again this morning. It would've been even worse since we were both basically naked.

Maybe he was afraid of naked men. I'd been in football since middle school and I'd seen more dicks than I ever wanted to. It didn't matter that I was attracted to men. I didn't want their junk in my face all the time, especially attached to sweaty, smelly dudes.

I laughed to myself when I thought about him being scared of seeing some dick. Maybe he was intimidated. Or he was aggressively homophobic to the point of being unable to be around men in shower rooms. Gross.

That still didn't explain his aversion to me before today.

It wasn't important. The only reason I was thinking about it was because he sat a few rows ahead of me talking to a woman with raven hair. If I remembered correctly, her name was Kasey. Or Macey. Something like that. She was a cheerleader and as soon as she met the football team this year, she tried to attach herself to West. When he brushed her off, she came for me. He shut that down quickly when he grabbed me by the jersey and planted a kiss on my lips.

West was straight, at least as far as I knew. He'd never said any different and I'd only seen him with women. As far as wing men and best friends went, he was god-tier. Not once since we met had he displayed any reservations about my sexuality. He'd be the first to knock someone out if they said something wrong. I'd be the second.

When Montaghue turned around to write some important dates on the board, Kasey leaned over to whisper in Sen's ear. Her lips brushed his skin and he seemed to shiver. I didn't take him for someone who was so easily flattered, but he appeared enthralled with her.

I wasn't surprised she'd set her sights on him. Sen was attractive in the boy-next-door way. Because of his build and the football pin on his backpack, I wondered if he'd played sports before he came here. He was pretty tall, just a couple of inches shorter than my six-foot-three frame. I was sure he'd easily fit in and make friends.

When the clock on my phone showed it was ten, I grabbed my bag and left the room. I heard others follow suit and the hall filled with the sounds of raucous students. My next class didn't start for an hour and I intended to grab some food in the meantime, but I was still bothered by my two encounters with Sen.

My dad always told me that you should meet hostility with kindness. He was arguably a better person than me, but in this case, I thought it was the right move. It was possible that Sen would be spending time with West, which meant we'd see each other. Part of me was also annoyed by his disdain. Seriously, what'd I do to earn it?

I leaned against the wall and waited for the students to shuffle out. When I spotted Sen and Kasey, I stepped into their path with a smile.

"Hey, Sen."

Kasey, despite knowing I didn't bat for her team, tucked her hair behind her ear while she checked me out. Sen looked like a deer in headlights. His cheeks pinked and I cocked my head, curious about his reaction.

"I'm sure you don't mind if I steal him, Kasey."

She said something, but I ignored her. When I latched onto Sen's wrist to pull him to the side, he quickly shook me off.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Saying hi."

"Why?"

"Because I'm a nice person?" I offered.

His eyes narrowed. "You're following me around now?"

"No," I laughed. "I was sitting three rows behind you. I won't take it personally that you didn't notice me."

"Okay."

His anger had died down. It was replaced with the same uncertainty he'd displayed yesterday.

"I'm a nice person," I repeated. "And we clearly got off on the wrong foot."

"I don't think we got off on any foot. We've only met once."

"Twice."

His face flushed again. "Right."

Since he wasn't going to put in the effort to carry a conversation, I racked my brain for something to say. The longer he stared at me- half irritation and half confusion on his face- the more I questioned what I was doing. I should just let West keep him as his own friend and mutter awkward hellos to each other whenever we ended up in the same place.

"You like football." I nodded toward the pin on his bag. Now that I was closer, I could see that it had the letters MVHS on it.

"Yeah," he replied tentatively. "I played in high school."

"Oh, sweet. What position?"

"Quarterback."

My eyes widened. With a whistle, I nodded appreciatively. "Impressive. I took you for more of a kicker."

"I tried that, but after I fell on my face for the fifth time, coach decided it wasn't my forte."

A genuine laugh left my throat. To my surprise, he smiled.

"You didn't want to play here?" I asked.

"Nah. I went to community college for a couple years before this and haven't played since high school. It's more of a pastime for me. My dad… He, uh, wanted me to play."

"I get it. I'm really only playing because of West."

"Oh. I thought you came here for football."

With a shrug, I leaned back against the wall and crossed my ankles. "I got an academic scholarship. I like football but with West."

He hummed his understanding. "You guys are close. More than just old friends and rivals, as he put it."

I couldn't help but smile. "You know that one person that you'll always put above yourself? That you'd die for."

A blank stare met my question. I looked past him absently.

"Anyway, that's who West is. Don't hurt him. He's more sensitive than he looks."

Sen nodded slowly. "More than just a muscled-up jock."

"Exactly. Although, he's that too."

His gaze found the floor. "He seems like a good guy. I gotta get to class."

He started to turn and I caught his wrist like before. "How do you feel about burgers?"

"Burgers?"

"Yes, Seneca. Burgers."

His eyes narrowed. "How do you know my full name?"

"Roll call, duh. So, back to my first question."

"Burgers are… fine."

"We're grabbing some at Dickey's after practice tonight. It's a Seattle classic, apparently."

I watched him blink a few times. He seemed to realize that I was still holding onto his wrist because he shifted in a way that let him pull it free casually.

"I'm busy tonight."

"Lots of homework?" I teased.

"Something like that."

I dragged my teeth over my lower lip, then nodded. "Cool. No big deal. Just thought I'd offer."

With a tight-lipped smile, he took a step back. I watched him but didn't say anything else. After a moment, he lifted his fingers off the strap of his backpack in a half-hearted wave, then turned around. Just as he was about to exit the building, he glanced back at me. As quickly as it happened, he was out the door.

Why was I so curious about him? There was something inside of him that seemed complicated. I had a bad habit of going into ‘I can fix him mode' but this was different. It was a feeling I had when I'd met West and because of it, I found out what was going on with him at home. I was there to help him through it and offer him a place to stay when he needed it. Maybe my intuition was telling me that Sen needed a friend, someone in his corner.

Before I left home, my therapist said I should try to avoid taking on the responsibilities of others. I didn't know if that was what I was doing here, but I'd think it over.

*****

"How many have you had?" Brooks asked. His eyes were wide as he looked back and forth between me and West.

"This is my fourth," I replied around a mouthful. "West?"

"Five, I think. I could go for a few more."

Brooks shook his head. "Jesus."

As he took a drink of his milkshake, I shoved the last bite of the burger into my mouth. Brooks was one of the people West met yesterday on his tour. He didn't even need to go to that, but he'd find any excuse to get out of the dorm and socialize. He'd come back with two new friends and he'd looked ecstatic about it. He was like someone going out to collect wayward Pokémon. I didn't know how he kept up with all the people he talked to.

"I've seen West eat an entire Costco pizza in one sitting," I said. "I think he followed it up with an ice cream."

"Damn right, I did. I'd get so hungry in sixth period that Kai's mom started packing snacks for him to give me."

"Which you generally threw up on the field afterward."

"It helped me keep my girlish figure."

"Not even a week into college and you're already pulling out the dad jokes."

He choked on his soda, nearly spewing it across the table. Brooks was still watching us with amusement. He seemed so controlled and I wondered what it would take for him to loosen up a little. From the little he'd said, I knew that he was a pre-law student and he had pretty strict parents. He also had his own apartment down the street, but he didn't strike me as someone who was snooty about having money. So far, I liked him.

"How long did it take you to grow?" I nodded toward his hair, which was wrapped up in a neat bun. From the size of it, you could tell that it was long.

He blew out a raspberry. "Years. I haven't cut it since I was ten."

"His parents are gonna make him chop it off," West said, dropping his hand on the table loudly.

"Why?"

"Professionalism," Brooks replied. West emphasized for him with air quotes.

I considered the notion while I dipped a fry in my milkshake. "So, because of some made-up standard that kills creativity and breeds monotony."

West snapped his fingers and pointed at me. "That's what he should say to his parents."

"It's fine." Brooks' tone was dismissive.

"Does it have significance to you?" I asked.

For a moment, he was silent, then he nodded. "My grandparents were Māori. They moved here from New Zealand. In their culture, it was sort of sacred, and long hair was respected. To cut it was almost an insult."

"That's cool," West remarked. "How could they argue?"

"It's not like I keep that history alive or anything. It just started out as a way to remind myself of them after they passed. I like it."

"So, don't." When he looked at me, I shrugged. "Get through school, graduate, then just don't cut it. What are they gonna do? If a firm hires you with your long hair, they can't really say shit."

"They wouldn't let me work at their firm. I was supposed to work under my dad."

"Then they'll miss out on a badass lawyer with the most gorgeous hair. And when you become a partner somewhere else, they'll be eating their words."

He frowned down at his fries. There were gears turning somewhere under all that pretty hair. I smiled at West, who looked mischievous. He loved to stir the pot, especially when it came to parents. If he refrained, he would've ended up with a few less black eyes in high school, but he couldn't help himself and I'd never found a way to keep him from reacting to his dad's bullshit.

Brooks raised his head, showcasing a determined expression. "If I find the balls while I'm here, that's exactly what I'll do."

"Atta boy," West cheered. "Let's get some more burgers. I'm freaking starving."

I tossed a fry at his head. "Extra lines for you tomorrow, fat ass."

He mocked me all the way to the order counter. Brooks and I burst into laughter, earning us some wicked glares from the other tables. Screw them. We were freshmen and we were having a good time. There were worse things we could get up to in a city like this.