Chapter 33

Kai

A squeal came from inside as soon as I opened the door. A head of raven hair appeared from the hallway. A moment later, her arms were around my neck and I had to grab her around the waist so that she wouldn't fall.

"Willow," I laughed. "I didn't know you were here."

"Surprise," Mom announced from behind me. She closed the door and shivered dramatically as she took off her coat.

Willow clung to me for another moment before she stepped back. There was a sparkle in her eye that was identical to the one her brother had.

"Don't," I warned.

She grinned. "Has college turned you straight yet, Kai?"

I groaned and kicked off my boots. "You and West with the turning gay shit. Unfortunately, I haven't been straightened out yet, but you know that if it happens, you have a claim on my eternal soul."

She feigned a swoon, putting the back of her hand over her forehead. "We'll have a spring wedding with an open bar. I can't wait."

"Okay, but I get West in the divorce."

"No, I claim twin privileges."

"That's not a thing."

"Of course it is. You wouldn't get it."

I grunted and made my way toward the kitchen. West and Willow were the worst kind of twins. Half the time, they hated each other and the other half, they plotted together. She was held back her senior year, so she was still in high school, but once she graduated, the plan was for her to move to Seattle. School was iffy but getting her out of her dad's house was non-negotiable. Plus, West had been grumpier than usual without her. In the rare case that I couldn't get him to calm down, she could.

When I reached the kitchen, I saw Dad sitting at the bar. I went over to the other side so that I wouldn't crowd him. Setting my elbows on the counter, I smiled at him.

"Hey, Dad."

He licked his lips, then glanced at Mom. She came over and leaned her head on my shoulder.

"It's Kai," she said. "He's here for Christmas."

"It's Christmas?" he asked.

"Almost," I replied. "It's winter break. No school for me."

Nodding slowly, he processed it. His hair was a little longer than when I left, coming just past his ears in silver and brown tendrils. There was a small amount of stubble on his jaw that made him look older. Overall, he appeared okay, which was all we could really ask for at this point.

Alzheimer's was degenerative and at a certain point, it would kill him. The effects on his body were getting worse, but it was possible he could live five more years. Maybe a little longer if he was lucky, if you considered it that. At that point, it became a conversation about quality of life.

He put his desires in writing a long time ago, so we all knew what to expect someday. It helped, in a way, that my parents had been open with me about his condition since he was diagnosed when I was two. I always knew and while I hated every second of it, I was more prepared than many.

"Are you hungry?" I asked. I unzipped my backpack and pulled out a Toblerone. It had always been his favorite.

His eyes lit up. "Sure, sure. You…" His eyes glazed a bit before he refocused on me. "You can share with me."

I smiled and used my hands to pull myself onto the counter, swinging my legs idly. "Sharing a Toblerone? You must have lost your damn mind, Dad."

"I always blame you for my gray hairs, kid. Remember when I had to pick you up from that party last week? You're still grounded for that."

"That's what you think. I know how to sneak out of my window."

He feigned shock. "I had no idea."

"He's known since you were thirteen," Mom whispered loudly with a conspiratorial wink.

I broke off a piece of chocolate and handed it to him. "Damn. I thought I was better than that."

"You always sneak in that boyfriend of yours. What's his name?" Dad snapped his fingers a few times. "Mark. Where's Mark? Is he coming for Christmas?"

"No, I have a new boyfriend now."

"No, I liked Mark."

"I know. We broke up a while ago."

"Oh." He looked disappointed, but lightened up when I handed him more of the chocolate. "But there's something… I see love in your eyes, Kai. What have I missed?"

As I chewed on my piece, I smiled. I needed to call Sen to see how he was doing, but it had been a whirlwind after getting off the flight, then me and Mom talked the whole way back. I hoped his parents weren't being complete ass wipes.

"His name is Sen. I met him at school."

"Tell me about him."

"Well, he's gorgeous. He has dirty blonde hair and brown eyes. He used to be a quarterback in high school."

"Oh, I like him."

I laughed. "He's perfect. His parents, though, aren't supportive. He's not open about his sexuality yet, but he's accepted himself."

"That's too bad. Tell him he's always welcome here. We'll make sure he feels loved, even though nothing really fills the gap left by a parent. We've seen that too much."

"He'll be here next week. He can't wait to meet you. I may have told him a few things."

"Oh," Mom gasped. "You got a package. Hold on."

She disappeared for a minute, then came back with a box that was already open.

"I thought it was mine," she said defensively.

"It has my name on it."

"It came to my house, so I assumed."

"Mhm."

I pulled out the book and admired the dark red cover for a moment.

"This must be for Sen," Dad remarked, running his finger over the title.

"It's one of the things. I had it made for him so that if he ever forgets why he's loved, all he has to do is look at it. Oh, and there's a keychain, so that's pretty cool."

"Do you want me to wrap it?" Willow offered. "I'm the best wrapper in the house."

I honest to god couldn't tell if she was being serious, but I handed it to her anyway. "Do not mess it up or you're paying for it."

"Was it expensive?"

"Yes. For a broke college student, it's like gold."

She winked before she turned around and disappeared into the living room. I considered taking it back but decided West could deal with her when he got here if she messed something up. I couldn't be both of their keepers.

When I looked back at Dad, he was half asleep. I hopped down from the counter and kissed the top of his head.

"You should take a nap, Dad. I'll be here for a few weeks."

"You're leaving?" he asked, looking alarmed.

Pursing my lips, I shook my head. "No. I'll be here. Get some rest, okay?"

Taking out my phone, I slipped through the back door. Under the awning, it was dry, but the cold pierced straight through my socks. I almost laughed as I looked at the snow. Sen said he wasn't a fan. He was definitely getting a few snowballs to the face while he was here. West would probably try to bury him in it.

I held the phone to my ear, listening to each of the rings. It kept going and I found myself pacing across the patio, all the way to where the snow began, then back.

"This is Sen. Please, for the love of god, text me unless someone is dying."

Clicking my tongue thoughtfully, I tried him again. It went straight to voicemail, then a text came through.

Sen:I can't really talk.

Kai:Are you okay?

The bubbles showed up, then disappeared too many times for me to feel good about whatever was going on.

Sen: He says talking to you is breaking the agreement.

Kai: That's ridiculous.

Call me.

Sen: I'll try.

Kai: Are you safe? Tell me the truth.

Sen:I'm fine. I love you.

Kai: I love you. If you want to leave, say the word and I'll get you out.

Dropping into a crouch, I leaned my elbows on my knees and stared at the white-coated yard. I hated that he was there. I couldn't even try to pretend that I was okay with it, but it was his decision.

Honestly, I thought it was stupid. He should be here right now, not with someone who wouldn't even let him talk to me as if he wasn't twenty years old. It was infuriating.

I brought the phone to my ear again, ready to have a moment of rage.

"Hey, bud," West answered. It sounded like he was chewing on something. He was always eating. "How's the fam?"

"Good. Had a Toblerone with Dad. Your sister is wrapping my gift for Sen, so if that goes to shit, we know why."

"Did she try to bone you?"

"As soon as I walked in the door."

He laughed around a mouthful of something. "She's insane. I don't know how we turned out so different."

"Right. Can you tell me if I'm crazy?"

"Uh, you are, but why?"

"Sen's dad won't let him talk to me on the phone. He says it's breaking their deal."

"That's bantha fodder. What are you gonna do?"

"I don't think I can do anything. It's up to Sen. If I were to march in there and demand he come with me, I'd be trying to make decisions for him like his dad does."

"Yeah, but you're actually protecting him."

"Sure, but he clearly wants to choose for himself. I don't want to try to take that from him or make it seem like I know better. I mean, in this case I do, but saying that would make me sound like a dick."

"Then be a dick. I know you're capable."

I huffed and kicked some snow. "Maybe I try to be soft because he"s been through so much. I don't want to take away his autonomy, but I also know that he doesn't think clearly when it comes to his family. I'm worried he's gonna fall right back into their manipulation."

"He needs to see them for what they are. Seems like he's still trying to cling to some fantasy of loving parents."

"There's not really a way to shatter that unless they do something, which I don't want to happen. I don't know them, but they're obviously capable of doing bad things and claiming it's love." With a sigh, I pushed my fingers into the snow, letting the bite of the cold center me. "I don't want him there, West. I'm so scared."

There was shuffling on the other end. "What about the stuff you found about the camp guy?"

"Travis McKinney."

"Wait-"

"Yeah."

"And they said he was dead?"

"Sen blamed himself. I'm gonna tell him, but with everything else going on, I decided to wait until we got back."

"You should stop coddling him. I know that you're worried about him dealing with too much, but trauma doesn't necessarily make you fragile. It can force you to become resilient too."

"You're right. If he still can't call me soon, though, I seriously might get on a plane."

"Down boy," West laughed. "Being protective is cute and all, but it's only a week and a half. He'll be okay."

"If you say so."

"Go tell Willow she's staying with us while I'm there. Don't let her go home tonight."

"What did you say about being protective?"

"I fought for space in the womb with her. I'm allowed."

After I hung up, I sent one more text to Sen, then went back inside. West was probably right. I couldn't be an overbearing asshole. Sen was strong and he'd grown a lot since he left home. I had to trust him, but I wasn't lying before. If things stayed like this, I would be dragging him out of there kicking and screaming. Hopefully, he would come willingly, but I wasn't opposed to the former.

If Sen ever needed me to save him, I'd be there with my sleeves rolled up, ready to take on the devil himself.