Chapter 27

Kai

Sometimes, games passed by in a blur. Other times, I reached a state of hyper focus that made me aware of every move. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't pull myself out of the game. The stands became blurry and only the field existed.

During the game yesterday, that was how I felt. It was on someone else's field, foreign and unfamiliar. The coach put both me and West in for a while and it was like old times, except far more serious. Winning mattered in high school. Here, it was the only thing that mattered and even though I wasn't going to keep playing after college, I was committed to being the best that I could be while I was here.

It was also for West. We played better together, so if we were both on the field, he could more easily impress all of the important people. I hated this rivalry he'd awoken with Lincoln, but it didn't seem to be going away, so I did what I could to help him show what he was worth.

We hadn't won, but it'd been close. Of course, West didn't care about anything except the loss. I saw him glance at Lincoln a few times, who didn't even acknowledge him. If he was looking for some sort of validation from Harmon's quarterback, he was going to keep being disappointed.

West was heavy on my mind lately. I'd been spending a lot of time with Sen, but we stuck around our friends often. Still, I worried. I knew that he thought about Willow a lot and since she made it a habit to be aloof, she didn't give him much reassurance that she was okay back home. His dad never hurt her, but with West gone, there was just no telling what was going on.

"This kinda sucks," Sen said around a bite of the Thanksgiving concoction the school put out.

"They're definitely instant potatoes," West agreed, although he'd been shoveling them like they were the best thing he'd ever tasted. I could probably replace his food with packing peanuts and he'd just keep eating them. He was like a starving bear. Or a cockroach.

"I don't know why turkey is glorified for Thanksgiving," Brooks noted, grimacing at a piece of meat on his fork. "It's not even that good."

After taking a bite of it, I set my fork down. "It's bland as hell. Next year, we're doing a Friendsgiving."

West laughed. "None of us can cook."

"We'll learn together. We're strong, independent men of the modern age."

"I'll hire a cook when I'm making millions."

"Same," Brooks agreed.

Sen snickered, throwing me a mocking look while he brought a bite of his sickly potatoes to his mouth.

"Are you gonna be a millionaire too?" I taunted.

"I think I'll be lucky if I can rub two pennies together."

"Good thing your boyfriend is a nurturer," West pointed out.

"What are you even studying?" Brooks asked.

"Business," I replied simply.

"Why?"

"Uh, for business purposes." When he gave me a pointed look, I chuckled. "My dad owns a nonprofit organization for underprivileged youths in Maine. It'll become mine someday and I want to expand it into more areas."

"That's cool. What's it all about?"

"It's big on teaching useful skills and getting them into activities that interest them outside of the one-dimensional public school model that pushes them all toward the same things. They have sports, mechanics, culinary arts, trades, you name it. It encourages non-gendered roles, so every person can find something that interests them, regardless of male or female-dominated fields."

"Shit. Your dad started this?"

"Before I was born, yeah."

"Kai's dad is a badass," West interjected. "He punched my dad in the face one time. He was being a mighty doucheasaurus, so it was justified."

I laughed at the memory. When it happened, it was more shocking than anything, but the surprise on his dad's face was priceless.

Sen pushed his plate away and leaned back in his seat. I inconspicuously put a hand on his thigh underneath the table. He'd been up and down since Halloween, but overall, he seemed to be managing - as well as someone in his position could, at least.

"Do you wanna go?" I murmured close to his ear.

"Where?"

"It's a surprise."

"That's not encouraging. You could be leading me to my death after I just fattened myself up on turkey."

"Oh, ye of little faith."

"Don't trust him," West warned. "He has a habit of sacrificing his boyfriends when he gets tired of them."

Picking up my roll, which was way too dense to count as bread, I threw it at his head. It made a distinct ‘thud' when it hit him. Before he could start a food fight, I took Sen's hand and started running. Something soared past my face, but I didn't slow to see what it was.

When we were outside, I laughed and slipped my arm around Sen's waist. After I kissed his temple, I started to pull away, but he tucked himself against my side.

"There's nobody out here," he said.

I looked around, confirming it was dead silent around us. There were still quite a few people on campus, but a lot went home for the holiday or found something else to do. It was a four-day weekend, which didn't justify flying across the country, so I'd face-timed with my parents for a while earlier, then spent the evening with the guys. It wasn't the best Thanksgiving, but it had its moments.

Like this one.

"Get on my back," I said.

"What?" he laughed. "You'll definitely drop me. We're almost the same size."

"I am very strong."

"Christ. Fine."

I grinned and crouched in front of him. Once he had his arms and legs around me, I started walking toward the football field. When he started to ask, I shushed him.

As we approached the field, I felt a little nervous. It was the good kind, though. I sped up, not stopping until we reached the sideline. He dropped to the ground and looked around.

"Are you just obsessed with this place?"

Rolling my eyes, I crouched and pulled out the Bluetooth speaker I'd stashed underneath the bench. I ignored his curious stare while I set up the music on my phone. When I held my hand out to him, he eyed it warily.

"No fear, baby," I reminded him.

He shook out his shoulders, then took my hand. I led him to the middle of the field and pressed play on my phone. Pulling him closer, I threaded our fingers and wrapped an arm around his waist.

"We're… dancing?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"One, it's our first Thanksgiving together. Two, nobody has ever done anything romantic for you and if I don't claim that privilege, I'll literally die."

With a smile and flushed cheeks, he tightened his grip on me. "I should've dressed nicer."

"Dressing up is overrated. I want you in your most comfortable state; the person you are on a normal day. That's the perfect version of you."

"Do you sit around reading romance novels or something?"

"No," I laughed. "I just don't bury the things that come into my head. Even if they might embarrass me and come out cheesy, I think those kinds of things deserve to be said."

"So, you're saying that you don't want to miss a thing," he said teasingly, referencing the song that was playing.

"Exactly. I don't want to miss a single thing with you, Sen."

Dipping my head, I kissed him while we continued to dance. I didn't think either of us knew the proper way to do it, but we were somehow in sync and hadn't stepped on each other's toes yet. With only the smaller lights in the stadium on, the ambience was pretty damn perfect.

I kept my eyes on his soft smile as we danced through song after song. He looked more than content. Even though he hadn't come out to more than Brooks and West, he exhibited a new sort of freedom. His careful composure from before had begun to fracture and I'd been seeing more of him underneath it.

Looking at him now, I knew without a doubt that I loved him. We may have only met two and a half months ago, but the things we'd weathered together had brought us closer and given us glimpses into deep parts of each other that we might not have opened up about for a long time if the circumstances had been different.

I wasn't going to tell him yet. I couldn't help but wonder if he felt the same way and I was a little worried about scaring him off. He'd fully accepted that he was gay, but that wasn't the extent of it. He had a lot of healing to do and what he'd gone through was going to affect him along the way.

This was Sen's journey, so I was going to let the love conversation come up organically and while I waited, I'd just show him how I felt about him. Movies in my room, ice cream with a shared spoon, dancing on the field, and romantic words that made him blush. Love was just a word, a series of mouth movements that differed based on where you lived. What swelled in my chest right now was the real thing and I didn't think there were adequate words for it.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked.

"Like what?"

"I don't know. Serious and intense."

"I'm just thinking."

"Care to explain?"

"Maybe if you beg for me."

He rolled his eyes. "You're as bad as West sometimes."

"Fine," I groaned. "I was just wondering if a straw has one hole or two."

Rolling his lips, he tried not to smile. "That can't be what you were thinking about."

"Honest to god. Scouts honor. Whichever you respect more."

"Alright, I'll pose my own question. How did society decide that chocolate is the opposite of vanilla?"

"Better yet, why is chocolate considered better than vanilla? Vanilla is amazing."

"Chocolate is better."

I scoffed. "Not a chance. A good, quality vanilla bean dessert is top tier."

"We might have to break up."

Pulling him in closer, I brushed my lips over his cheek. "Not on Thanksgiving. Let's wait until tomorrow."

"Fine, but ducknana stays with me."

With a gasp, I reared back. "That's outrageous. He watches over me while I sleep."

That bright smile on his face was really damn intoxicating. Not enough for me to give up ducknana, though. That was absurd.