Chapter 34

It tooktwo point six seconds for Rebecca's words to register in Cass's brain. She was busy drinking the wonderful gift Rebecca gave her, so could you blame her for the delay? But then it happened. Cass replayed the words in slow motion in her mind just to make sure she heard right. Even then, she couldn't be sure it was her imagination playing tricks on her.

"W-what did you call me? W-what did you say?" Cass wiped her mouth, eyes wide, watching Rebecca carefully.

Rebecca smiled even though she felt like crying. At least this time, they would be happy tears. As she… flooded into Cass's mouth, the memories — her memories — came flooding back to Rebecca. It was like a tidal wave — in more ways than one.

"Cassidy," Rebecca repeated with such adoration it sounded more like a love letter than a simple name. She held her arms out, inviting Cass into them.

Cass scrambled up, nearly falling off the couch in her efforts to be embraced by Rebecca's loving arms. Her Rebecca. Only her Rebecca called her Cassidy. Cass's breath hitched with a sob as she forgot about being gentle and hauled herself on top of Rebecca, burying her face in Rebecca's neck.

"You remember?" Cass hiccupped.

"I remember, baby," Rebecca cooed, not even bothering to fight back her own tears.

Cass lifted her head to look at Rebecca, swiping at her tears and runny nose with the back of her hand. It was the most unsexy thing she could have done, but despite being naked on top of her wife, this wasn't about being sexy.

"Everything?" Cass sniffled.

Rebecca nodded. She brushed more tears from Cass's cheeks. "Everything." Rebecca pressed her finger to Cass's lips. "Before you start bombarding me with questions, I would like to finish what we started here."

Cass glanced between them. "I thought you did," she grinned. God, could she be any happier? Her Rebecca was back! And she knew it was her Rebecca because of the predatory look in her eyes. That was Mistress. Fuck yeah.

"Oh, that was just the beginning, Cassidy. Though, we're going to have to get this couch cleaned."

"Not the first time."

Rebecca chuckled. "Won't be the last. Hey," she lifted Cassidy's chin, holding her gaze. "I know we have a lot to talk about, but I've missed you so much. Do you think we could wait a little longer for all the serious stuff?"

"Does that include calling everyone to tell them you remember? And, uh, confessing to you about how I really handled all this?"

"Yes, including… confessing?"

Cass kissed Rebecca passionately, slipping her thigh between Rebecca's legs.

"Are you distracting me?" Rebecca panted once they came up for air.

"Is it working?"

"Only because I'm the one who suggested waiting for serious talks. But I will remember that. One more thing before you start kissing me like that again, and my brain melts."

Cass grinned. "Yeah?"

"Can we go upstairs to our bed?"

Cass popped up off the couch with ease. She gave the mess a fleeting thought before scooping Rebecca up into her arms.

"I hope you're ready for me, baby," Cass murmured in Rebecca's ear. "It has been a long time."

"For me, it feels like it has been twenty long years, Cassidy. I'm ready."

Cass stretched,wincing with a smile, when the soreness kicked in. Since she could feel the sun on her face, Cass assumed she had survived the night and didn't die of pure pleasure. Damn, if she thought making love, fucking, and everything in between with Rebecca was heaven before, last night proved there was another level. She turned to cuddle with her wife and was met with a cold, empty bed.

"Becca?" Cass listened for an answer or the sound of the shower and heard neither. She jumped out of bed, pulling on a pair of boxers and slipping a tank top over her head as she hurried downstairs. "Becca!"

The living room had been tidied up, yet Rebecca was nowhere in sight. Cass made her way into the kitchen, where a fresh pot of coffee was brewed but otherwise empty. She ran downstairs to the gym, hoping to find Rebecca meditating. Nothing.

"Becca!" Cass reached for her phone before remembering she only had boxers on without pockets and had left her phone upstairs. "Shit!" Cass took the stairs two at a time back up to the living room. Cass was about to go into full-blown panic mode when she heard a faint sound coming from outside. Out on the deck, Rebecca sat drinking coffee, seemingly without a care in the world. "Becca?"

Rebecca blinked, coming out of her pensiveness, and smiled at Cassidy. "Good morning, baby."

"What the hell, Rebecca? You can't just disappear like that!" Cass's body shook with adrenaline, but she couldn't determine whether she felt fear or anger.

Rebecca set her coffee on the table beside her, frowning. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." She held her hand out to Cassidy, breathing a sigh of relief when Cassidy didn't hesitate to take it.

"Why are you awake?" Cass straddled the chaise lounge Rebecca was sitting on, draping Rebecca's legs over her thighs.

"I couldn't sleep." Rebecca tapped her temple. "My mind is going a mile a minute."

Cass caressed Rebecca's cheek. "Are you in pain?" When Rebecca shook her head, Cass continued. "Why didn't you wake me up?"

"You looked so peaceful. I'm guessing you haven't slept well since all this began. I didn't want to disturb you, baby."

Cass nodded but still felt a little unsettled. "You're not usually awake at this time."

Rebecca suspected Cassidy was scared that Rebecca's memory had gone away again. It would explain why Cassidy was so agitated when she found Rebecca out on the deck.

"I've gotten a little used to the peace during this time of the day. It's quite beautiful. Quiet, cool, calm." Cassidy was watching Rebecca with such intensity that it nearly made Rebecca squirm. She had to do something to put Cassidy at ease. "Do you remember The Great Thunderstorm of 2022 when we lost power for almost thirteen hours? It was chilly, but luckily, we had a gas fireplace, so we stayed downstairs in front of that fire the entire time. We talked, played games, and made love with the rolling thunder as our soundtrack," Rebecca chuckled. "We ate all the ice cream before it melted. Los Angeles was in chaos, but inside this house, we were living our best lives. I'll never forget it."

But you did. Cass didn't say that out loud, though. Instead, she smiled, relieved that Rebecca's memory was still intact. "I remember that night very well. Especially the part where you licked the ice cream off my body."

"Oh, yeah," Rebecca purred. "Best flavor of ice cream ever."

"It's available whenever you want it, babe." Cass stroked Rebecca's thighs with the pads of her thumbs. "What were you thinking about when I came out here?"

Rebecca inhaled and hummed as she let the breath out. "I was thinking about unretiring."

"I thought we weren't calling it that."

Rebecca rolled her eyes teasingly. "I was thinking about un-slowing down." She stuck her tongue out at Cassidy, who chuckled at her. "I can't help but wonder if the tumor was the main culprit in my fatigue. And, despite that last disaster of a meeting, I think I can handle expanding beyond our group of friends. Perhaps not as far as before, but enough to keep my mind busy."

Cass dropped eye contact for a moment. That last disaster of a meeting was the Buck McEnroe incident. Rebecca didn't know about that. She knew the dude didn't exist, but not why.

"Um, about that last meeting."

Rebecca raised a brow. "McEnroe? Did you find out who hired him to impersonate… an idiot?" She expected Cassidy to give her at least a courtesy chuckle for that, but her expression remained stoic. "Cassidy?"

God, she loved hearing that name come from Rebecca's lips. And the last thing Cass wanted to do was put a damper on Rebecca's day. However, one of the things they were adamant about in their relationship was honesty.

"Babe, Buck McEnroe didn't exist."

"Yeah, I remember Eve telling us that. But that wasn't my question. I asked who hired him."

"No one, Becca. When I say he didn't exist, I mean he wasn't real. Eve — or Jules — found surveillance of you going to that warehouse." Cass paused. "The tumor caused you to hallucinate, Becca. You believed you had an appointment. You even made up a business plan. Then you drove there, went to the door, then turned around, and went back to your car when it was locked." Cass leaned in, squeezing Rebecca's hands, offering as much strength as she could.

Rebecca frowned. "I—" She shook her head. The memory she had of "Buck McEnroe" was… off. Rebecca remembered speaking to Eve and Lainey about him. She recalled telling Cassidy what happened. But the actual event was… gone. "I made it up."

"No, the episode was a symptom of the tumor. To you, it really happened."

"And you're sure it didn't?" Rebecca felt the beginning of a headache and reached for the bottle of water she had brought out with her.

"Yeah, I saw the video."

"Well, so much for coming out of retirement," Rebecca scoffed. She drained almost half of her water, avoiding Cassidy's gaze. Making up some dramatic scenario? Tumor or not, it was fucking embarrassing.

"Why?"

"Are you serious? If clients found out that I…" Rebecca couldn't even finish the thought. "I'd be a laughing stock."

"Babe, you had a medical episode." Cass saw that wasn't making Rebecca feel any better. "Five people know, Becca. That's it. One is you, and the others are loyal to you. No one will ever find out, yeah?" Rebecca took a moment but finally nodded. "Good. Now, if you're serious about un-slowing down, I may have a job for you."

Rebecca raised a brow. "Are you opening an art gallery?"

Cass laughed. "And compete with the Eve Sumptor? I'm no dummy, babe. No, I stopped by an old haunt of mine recently. A bar over in West Hollywood. It's seen some better days, and Nadia is interested in fixing it up."

Oh, Rebecca didn't like the gross jealousy that slithered into her brain. "You went to a bar to see an old friend named Nadia?"

Something inside Cass snapped. That frayed string that held her emotions together these past few weeks since learning about the tumor finally broke. Everything Cass pushed aside in order to make sure Rebecca was okay came flooding back with a vengeance.

"Don't do that. Don't belittle my love for you by implying I would ever do something to hurt you." Cass lifted Rebecca's legs off of hers and stood. "I didn't forget, Rebecca. I went to that fucking bar because none of our friends would be there. Friends that were pissed off at me for what I did, so I didn't feel like I had a right to lean on them. I went there to get shitfaced and forget like you did. But I couldn't." Cass let out a humorless laugh. "No, I knew you wouldn't like that, and I didn't want to disappoint you because I remembered how much I love you. You remembered her!"

"Cassidy, that's not fair."

"You're right, it's not! I love you, Rebecca. I've never hurt you. I never would! So, why? Why did you forget me?"

Rebecca got to her feet, tears pooling in her eyes. Cassidy had never been this upset with her before. But it wasn't anger Cassidy was displaying. It was anguish. And after everything that had happened, Rebecca couldn't blame Cassidy for those emotions. She knew Cassidy would bottle it up for Rebecca's sake. This was the conversation they needed to have last night, but Rebecca chose the physical first. And that wasn't fair to Cassidy.

"Do you think I wanted to? I would have given anything not to live through that time of my life again. It wasn't something I controlled, Cassidy. God, if I could have, I would choose you every single time."

Cass opened her mouth to apologize for her outburst but was interrupted by the chime of the doorbell.

"That's Aunt Wills. I'm so sorry, Cassidy. I texted her earlier, and she insisted on coming over. But I'll tell her to come back so we can talk."

"No, it's fine. I don't feel like talking anymore right now. I'll tell her you're out here."

"Cassidy, wait. Please."

The plea in Rebecca's voice caused Cass to hesitate. But she needed time to calm down. She'd already said too much and made Rebecca cry, which made Cass feel like shit. Maybe this distraction was a blessing in disguise.

"Sit and relax. Spend some time with your aunt. We can do this later." Again, Cass hesitated, but even upset, she loved Rebecca too much to walk away without some form of contact. So, she bent and kissed Rebecca quickly on the cheek before hurrying away.

Cass opened the front door,stepping aside for Aunt Wills to come in.

"She's out back," Cass announced, then shut the door and began to walk away.

"You took her to the club."

Cass stopped, her nostrils flaring with anger at the accusation in Willamena's tone.

"Yeah, I did."

"I thought we agreed to take things slow."

Cass whirled around. "What's wrong, Dr. Woodrow? Shouldn't you be happy that your niece got her memory back?" She stepped closer. "Rebecca wanted to go. She wanted to speed things up. And since she's an adult and my wife, who I'd do anything for, I did as she asked. It worked. Look, maybe you wanted to play it safe to give you a second chance at taking care of her instead of jetting back to New York like you did the first time. But I'm not going to play games with my wife's well-being to satisfy your guilt."

Willamena was stunned by Cassidy's words. That's not what she was doing at all. Was it? "If I wanted to keep Rebecca from remembering, I wouldn't have done everything I could to bring you two back together."

Cass shook her head. "There are two sides to every coin, Doc, but you need both for that coin to be valuable. You wanted Rebecca to need you again, but you knew she needed me, too."

Cass held her hands up, done with this conversation. She regretted everything she said. Hell, she didn't even know if she actually believed what she said. But Cass's emotions were getting the best of her, and they were too high and volatile to be in the room with anyone at the moment.

"I'll be in my studio. I'd prefer not to be disturbed."

Once again, Cass hurried away.

It tookWillamena a moment to gather herself and go out to see her niece. What Cass said to her shook her. She would have to evaluate it later. Right now, she needed to see Rebecca and make sure she was okay. She opened the sliding glass door and stepped out.

"Hey, my sweet girl."

Rebecca lifted her head from her hands, wiping tears from her cheek. "Hey, Aunt Wills." She smiled tremulously.

Willamena pulled a chair close to Rebecca and sat down. "Are you in pain?"

Rebecca laughed sadly. "Yeah, but not in my head. Cassidy is mad at me."

Willamena sighed. She just had a taste of Cass's displeasure, and it wasn't fun. She could only imagine what Rebecca felt when this should be a time of celebration.

"Do you remember when you were six years old, your mom and I took you shopping for new clothes?"

Rebecca furrowed her brows, wondering what that had to do with Cassidy being pissed at her. "I was six. I may have gotten my memory back, Aunt Wills, but it only goes so far."

"Fair enough," Willamena chuckled. "Well, I remember it very well. Gwennie and I were looking at cute little dresses for you. One minute, you were yelling no at everything we showed you, and the next, you were gone. We turned our backs for two seconds, and that was enough for you to disappear. We looked everywhere. We had the entire staff of the store looking. Oh, Gwennie was so scared. We both were!"

"Obviously, you found me."

Willamena nodded. "After twenty excruciatingly long minutes, your little smart butt jumped out from under a table of clothes yelling ‘BOO!'. You laughed and laughed, thinking that's what had scared us. Gwennie was just so happy we found you, safe and sound, that she hugged you and kissed you all over your little face. But once things settled down, that's when the anger came. ‘Don't you dare do that again, Rebecca Aisling Cuinn!'."

"‘You scared me to death!'" Rebecca quoted, the memory of that day vaguely coming back to her. "Was that your long, drawn-out way of telling me that Cassidy is in her anger stage?"

"I'm saying she was scared of losing you, Becca. She was afraid you'd never remember how in love you two are. And now that she can breathe and feel something other than fear and loss, it's hitting her hard."

"What should I do?"

"Are you afraid of her?"

"No," Rebecca answered immediately. There wasn't an ounce of doubt that Cassidy would never hurt her.

"Then talk to her. What was it that you told me she did for you? Exorcise your demons?"

Rebecca nodded. "It's my turn to return the favor. Do you mind if we do this later? I don't want Cassidy to agonize over this any longer."

"Not at all. Let her talk, Becca. She needs to know she can be candid with you without losing everything." Willamena smiled, trying to appease the apparent anxiety in Rebecca. Every time there was discord within her relationship with Cass, Rebecca was thrown off-kilter. The quicker they get over this bump, the better. "Now, before I go, have you told the others that you've regained your memory?"

Rebecca shook her head. "You're the first. Could you tell them? I need to fix things with Cassidy. That's my priority right now."

Willamena got up, bringing Rebecca up with her and kissing her on the cheek. "I got it covered. Would you be opposed to having a little get-together?"

"As long as I can patch things up with Cassidy, I'm fine with whatever everyone wants to do."

"Cass in her studio. Could you give her a message from me?"