Chapter 31

It wasdifficult keeping your eyes on the road when your passenger looked freakin' awesome. When Rebecca asked Cass what she should wear that night, Cass picked out a few outfits and let Rebecca make the final decision. Her choice was perfection. The pale pink V-neck jumpsuit was as elegant as it was sexy, with the plunge of the V carefully framing Rebecca's cleavage. Cass knew exactly how soft that skin was, and her fingers itched to feel that delicate smoothness.

"You look beautiful," Cass said, chancing a quick glance in Rebecca's direction.

"That's the third time you've said that," Rebecca chuckled. "And each time, it's nice to hear, so thank you. I found this outfit in the closet. It's so unlike anything I've worn before, but I have to admit it's quite empowering." She took her time, drinking in the sight of Cass in her black jeans and a white button-down shirt. The shirt was unbuttoned enough to give Rebecca an exquisite view of Cass's tattooed chest. Tattoos spilled out from under Cass's rolled-up sleeves as well. Weirdly enough, Rebecca never thought of herself as someone who liked the tattooed look, but on Cass, it was intoxicatingly sexy.

"You look very handsome," Rebecca said finally, her voice a little breathless. Her heartbeat picked up its pace when Cass grinned at her. "May I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"I have a tattoo here," Rebecca touched low on her hip. "I don't remember getting it. Or my belly ring. Were they because of you?"

Cass's stomach clinched, thinking of Rebecca's tattoo. Don't freakin' get her started on the sexy as fuck belly ring. God, she wished they were because of her, but she shook her head. "Those were all you, Becca. I'm not sure when you got them, but it was way before we met and for a good cause."

"One that you're not going to tell me?"

Cass glanced over. "I can if you like. But it wouldn't be your version of the story." She paused, allowing that to sink in for a moment. "Becca, your memories are stuck in that time twenty years ago. Those feelings are fresh for you. Why do you think you got the tattoo?"

"You spend too much time with my aunt," Rebecca groused playfully. But it was a good question, a thoughtful one that allowed Rebecca to determine for herself what would make her want to get a tattoo. She closed her eyes, envisioning the ink on her hip—bird in flight. "It feels like freedom to me. I believe I would have gotten it when I felt free from Samantha's hold."

Cass nodded. Though Rebecca carried the guilt of Samantha's death until recently, she left behind the meek sub that Samantha had made her into.

"It's so weird," Rebecca began, turning slightly in her seat to look at Cass. "I don't feel like I thought I would."

"What do you mean?"

"D-do you know what happened with Samantha?"

"Yeah," Cass answered softly. She knew, and she hated Samantha for it.

"So you know what I did."

"I know what she did to you and what you survived."

"Cass…"

"No." Cass reached across the console to take Rebecca's hand. "I know for a fact that you did nothing wrong. I'm sorry, but this is one thing I won't let you relive, Becca. I proved to you that nothing you did caused Samantha's death, and I cannot let you live with that guilt again."

"You… proved it? How?"

"That's a story for another time, but maybe that's why you feel different than you expected. Because somewhere deep down, you know it wasn't your fault."

Cass had no idea if she was doing the right thing. Hell, this whole night could have been a terrible idea. She probably should have discussed this with Aunt Wills, but the important thing was that Rebecca wanted this, and Cass was most loyal to Rebecca.

"Maybe you're right," Rebecca said, interrupting Cass's inner meltdown. "Maybe there's something subconsciously directing my feelings. I'm not sad or angry. I thought I'd feel much more guilt. I'm really just… confused about everything. That's not the greatest feeling, but I suppose it's better than the alternative."

Cass hoped that feeling would last once Rebecca understood where they were going. Ugh, she really should have thought this through more. How would seeing the club affect Rebecca? Or her psyche? She was about to find out, and that wasn't the greatest feeling for her.

Rebecca looked out the window as soon as Cass turned into a long driveway and recognized it immediately. "Why?" Her heart began to race, and panic bubbled up inside her. "Stop the car!"

"Becca."

"Stop the car, Cass!" Rebecca pulled at the door handle, but it was locked. "Let me out, please!"

Cass quickly pulled over and cut the engine. She disengaged the locks so Rebecca didn't feel trapped. She got out when Rebecca did, and while she followed a visibly upset Rebecca, she kept a comfortable distance.

"Becca!"

"Why would you do this to me? Do you have any idea what it's like for me to be here?" Rebecca cried. She brushed a tear from her cheek, furious with herself for falling for Cass's ‘nice girl' facade.

Cass jogged past Rebecca and stopped in front of her. "Becca, please stop." She sighed when Rebecca walked right past her. "You asked me to bring you where we met," Cass called out.

Rebecca stopped. That didn't make sense. She didn't know Cass's age but guessed Cass was significantly younger than her own. The math didn't add up.

"I don't understand. Why would I ever come back here? I don't want anything to do with Samantha or her club ever again."

"It wasn't hers, Becca," Cass reminded her softly as she stepped closer. "It's yours."

Rebecca shook her head slowly. Then remembered it was true. "I kept it? Why in the hell would I keep it?"

Cass took another step. She was close enough now to reach out to Rebecca if she felt it would be okay. "You told me before why you kept it, but I think there was another reason. I think you kept it so those scars on your back wouldn't be in vain."

Rebecca bowed her head in shame. "You know about those?"

"Yes, I do. Baby, this place," Cass pointed toward the club. "This is your triumph, not your tragedy. You built this club into something prestigious and sought after. From what you told me, I can only imagine what this place was before. It was you who came in and made it what it is today."

"You know what it was before? A sex club?"

"A BDSM club, yeah. And it's still one." Cass touched Rebecca's arm gently. "I fucked up, yeah? I should have warned you. Something in my gut wasn't sitting right about all of this, but I ignored it and did the one thing I never wanted to do. I hurt you."

The sincerity in Cass's eyes and words eased Rebecca's tension. She felt terrible for her knee-jerk reaction, thinking Cass was anything but pure and sweet.

"Hey." Cass bent her head slightly to look into Rebecca's eyes. "I probably don't deserve it after this, but I'm asking you to trust me. We exorcised the demons out of this place before. If I have to do it again, I will."

"I'm sorry I ran. And for yelling at you."

Cass smiled sadly. "It's okay. I understand." She held out her hand. "What do you say? Wanna give this another go?"

Rebecca inhaled, blowing it out slowly. She took Cass's hand, feeling stronger with that simple touch. Yeah, this was all very weird. "Let's go."

Rebecca's bravadofaded slightly when they walked inside. Then, her eyes adjusted to the low light, and she truly saw the place. This was nothing like how the club was under Samantha. It was upscale, clean, and… sexy. The women didn't walk around with their tits out the way Samantha made them. The men wore silk pajama pants and robes instead of barely there bikini underwear. And the ones Rebecca assumed worked for the club all wore masks. The atmosphere was sexually charged, and Rebecca felt inexplicably powerful.

Cass felt Rebecca's grip on her hand tighten, and she pulled Rebecca closer. The one thing she did think to do before they got here was call ahead and warn the staff not to refer to Rebecca as Mistress. Cass had a feeling Rebecca needed to come to find Mistress within herself on her own terms. Not by someone throwing that name out there at her. There was no predicting how Rebecca would react to being in the Pink Room again. But there was one thing Cass did know, and that was that she'd be with Rebecca every step of the way.

"You okay?"

Rebecca looked up at Cass, smiled, and nodded. Was Cass one of the staff here? Is that how they met? She imagined Cass in silk pajama pants, a robe — because the bustier wasn't Cass — and a mask. The image certainly affected her libido, so she looked away.

"Do you work here?"

Cass pursed her lips. It wasn't a lie if she said no, right? She was a co-owner, but she didn't work here. Technically speaking, Rebecca didn't work there anymore, either.

"Um, no, I don't work here."

"But we met here?"

"Yep."

"So, you came here for…?"

"A bachelorette party," Cass offered. "And I wasn't happy about it. I didn't understand this lifestyle, so I disagreed with it. But I was here to support my best friend at the time."

She guided Rebecca to the VIP area, nodding at the waitress, who placed a shot of Fireball and two glasses of club soda on the table before leaving.

Cass handed Rebecca one of the club sodas, picking up the shot for herself. "I was sitting here convincing myself to be a good friend and stay when one of these came along. I didn't order it, but that didn't stop me from drinking it," she grinned, touching her glass to Rebecca's before slamming the shot back.

Rebecca couldn't say why the action turned her on. Perhaps it was the look Cass gave her right before. Or maybe it was the way it exposed Cass's long, tattooed neck. She drained the club soda in one long gulp just to keep from whimpering.

"So, I bought you a drink?" Rebecca asked, eyeing the other club soda. It had suddenly become increasingly warm in here.

"Mmhmm. Yet, you stayed elusive. I had gone back to contemplating the consequences of leaving when a pink card was left on my table, followed by the most amazing ass I'd ever seen."

A pink card?And was the ass mine? Rebecca hoped so. "I don't understand."

Cass gave Rebecca the second glass of club soda and took her hand again. This was it. She was about to take Rebecca to the room where they first laid eyes on each other. Man, if she fucked this up and stressed Rebecca out too much, Aunt Wills was going to kill her. No turning back now, Cass. Keep moving forward and hope for the best.

Cass led Rebecca down a hallway with different-colored doors. She remembered this: ‘Each room will be a distinct color. Each color will represent the experience level of that occupant.' This was Samantha's grand idea for the club. Obviously, Rebecca kept it going, but why? She had hated it for what it represented, especially after becoming Samantha's sub.

As they neared the black door, Rebecca felt herself stiffen with tension. She barely resisted the urge to pull away from Cass and run again. But they didn't stop at that door. No, they went further down, finally stopping at a pink door. More pink.

Cass dug a pink card out of her back pocket and held it against the keycard door lock. When the light turned green, she pushed the door open.

"Good?"

Rebecca nodded. She blew out the breath she was holding, trying to prepare herself for what was inside. It was a fool's errand, as she had no way of knowing what to expect once she walked past the threshold.

Cass ushered Rebecca in, purposefully staying quiet. This was Rebecca's journey. Though Cass would fill in a blank here and there, she honestly didn't want to persuade Rebecca's memories in any way. At least, that was the plan. Rebecca's reaction once inside would dictate Cass's response. Influence or not, Cass wasn't about to let Rebecca suffer unnecessarily.

Rebecca walked in, taking in every detail. The furnishings were minimal but quite tasteful. And pink. Everywhere she looked, there was a different shade of pink, from the high-back chairs that faced each other to the colossal bed. Even the armoire was pink. What was it about this color? Rebecca never imagined she would feel… peace surrounded by this pale hue.

Cass sat in the chair she had sat in the first time she had been in that room and watched Rebecca's reactions closely. Her heart rate was through the roof, yet Cass put on a calm facade for Rebecca's sake.

Rebecca glanced back and saw Cass sitting quietly. Something about that felt familiar. Since she didn't know why, Rebecca continued her tour. She ran her fingertips across the soft blanket as she passed by the bed and headed straight to the armoire. She wasn't naive about what was inside. Samantha had a similar one. It had been black, and every time Samantha opened it, pain followed.

With trembling hands, Rebecca opened the cabinet. Her breath caught at all the apparatus hanging inside. Pink. Flogs, crops, ropes… everything that used to bring Rebecca pain was on full display. Only, for reasons Rebecca didn't understand, seeing these caused Rebecca's blood to heat.

Her eyes traveled down and landed on an assortment of elaborate masks in different shapes and colors. She chose a white mask with long silk ribbons to tie it on. Rebecca tilted her head, imagining the mask on Cass. But she couldn't. This wasn't Cass's style. No, Cass would wear a plain black mask and still make it the sexiest thing Rebecca had ever seen. But this mask… Rebecca lifted it to her face. The fit was perfect, as though it was molded explicitly for her.

Rebecca gasped as the realization hit her. "It's me," she whispered. Rebecca dropped the mask and whirled around. "It's me!" she repeated for Cass's benefit. "I'm the Domme. I'm… your Domme!"

It wasn't a question; still, Cass nodded.

"Why would I do that?" Panic built up inside Rebecca. "Why would I become… her?"

Cass sprang up and went to Rebecca. "You didn't. You are the complete opposite of her, Becca."

Rebecca shook her head, tears threatening to fall. "I hurt you?"

Cass shook her head, taking Rebecca's trembling hands in hers. "Do you think I'd be here trying to win your heart, trying to help you remember if you hurt me? That's not who you are, Becca."

"Yet, here we are in a BDSM club where apparently I employ others to torture…"

"Stop, babe. No one is tortured here anymore. While you have rooms available for those who crave the hardcore stuff, you've completely redefined the way things work here. You scrubbed this place clean of toxic, so-called Dommes who get off on humiliation and manipulation. In doing so, you've taught me — and everyone else who comes in here — that submission and masochism are not synonyms, nor are sadism and domination. You've given subs back their dignity and the power to decide what happens to them. That is what a real Domme does."

Rebecca found it difficult to believe what Cass said. She certainly didn't feel like someone who could have pulled that off. She stepped away, unable to think clearly under Cass's intense stare.

"Were there others before you?" Rebecca asked softly. She wasn't even sure she wanted to know that answer. First, she didn't want to think about being anyone else's Domme. It was hard enough to think of herself as Cass's. And second, it made her feel… weird inside thinking about anyone else other than Cass. Do you think I'd be here trying to win your heart…?

"Not like me, no," Cass answered truthfully. "You had others in this room, but it was never about sex. It was about rebuilding your confidence and the reputation of this club."

Rebecca stood at the foot of the bed, erotic images of her and Cass flashing in her mind. Were they real or wishful thinking? Then came the comprehension of what Cass said.

"Wait, not like you?" It was never about sex. "A-are you saying you're the first person I had… sex with after Samantha?"

Cass nodded, trying to gauge how that made Rebecca feel. Would she want to explore her options now that she had what was essentially a do-over?

Rebecca exhaled sharply, leaning her elbows on the bed. A slow smile spread on her face. "She didn't break me."

Rebecca spoke soft enough that Cass wasn't sure she heard her right. "Sorry?"

"Samantha didn't break me," Rebecca repeated with more confidence. "The tattoo, the belly ring. Everything you've told me. All of it means that I became what Samantha said I could never be. Free, rebellious, in control." She looked up at Cass. "Loved. I could have easily fallen into a number of horrible situations or relationships that meant nothing, but I didn't. I waited for someone like you who wants to win my heart even though yours is breaking."

A tear rolled down Cass's cheek. "I thought I understood why you made the decisions you made, but I didn't until right now."

Rebecca went to Cass, reaching up to wipe the tear away. Her fingertips lingered on Cass's soft skin. God, she wished she could remember everything she felt and did with this woman. But even without those memories, Rebecca was drawn to Cass unlike any other.

"I'm so sorry, Cass."

Cass shook her head, placing her hand over Rebecca's. "You have nothing to apologize for."

Maybe I do,Rebecca thought. Of all the things she was learning, the one that stood out the most was how much she held back from Cass. Was that on purpose, or a defense mechanism she kept in place out of some irrational fear? She trusted Cass now when she couldn't remember anything. Was it Cass she didn't trust before — or herself?

"Are you okay, Becca? Does your head hurt?"

Rebecca blinked, her thoughts falling away at Cass's question. "A little," she confessed. She reluctantly backed away when all she really wanted to do was kiss Cass, to feel what it was like. "Ahem. So, we, um…" Rebecca looked at the bed. Dear lord, the images that flooded her mind then made her insides heat up. "We made love here for the first time?"

Cass was intrigued by the blush creeping up Rebecca's beautiful neck, but she wasn't about to lie. "No."

Rebecca's eyebrows shot up. "No?"

"We fucked in here," Cass answered bluntly. "You flipped my world upside down in this room and taught me that whatever I thought sex, desire, and passion were didn't even come close. You taught me that letting go of my inhibitions, fears, and biases would open up completely new sensations for my mind, body, and soul. That's what we did in this room."

"Well…" Rebecca swallowed, her mouth dry… other places, not so much. Unfortunately, the faster her heart beat, the more her head hurt. It was fucking annoying when she really wanted to explore what they did in this Pink Room more in-depth.

Cass could practically see the pain in Rebecca's eyes. "I think that's enough for tonight, babe. You're hurting, and I don't want to overdo it more than I already have."

"Shouldn't it be my decision on how much I can take?"

"Normally, it would be, but my priority is…"

"My welfare and recovery," Rebecca finished with a playful eye roll.

Cass chuckled. "You mock, but it's true."

"I'm not mocking, Cass. I think it's sweet. And I think you're probably right. As much as I would like to further… discuss what happened here, I'm getting a little tired."

She's flirting with me again.Cass grinned. "I'll discuss whatever you want to discuss when you're feeling better. I love long conversations. You know, the kind that lasts all night long."

Rebecca raised a brow, appreciating Cass's boldness. "It's a good thing I've been feeling better every day. A long, probing conversation could be exactly what I need."

Cass was the first to break when a small groan escaped from somewhere deep within. "I… we… uh…"

Rebecca giggled. Actually giggled. What an odd sound coming from her. Had she ever done that before? Rebecca linked her arm with Cass's. "Thank you for bringing me here. I may not remember still, but this helped me realize a few things." She hugged Cass's arm closer to her. "Let's go home."