Chapter 30

Cass lookedat her watch with surprise. Nearly two hours before double digits meant it was way too early for Rebecca to be tooling around in the kitchen. At least it was for the Rebecca that Cass knew before the surgery. Was this another change? Whatever it was, Cass didn't want to scare Rebecca by sneaking up on her. The last time that happened… well, it wasn't something Cass wished to repeat. So, she made as much noise as she could while coming up the stairs from the gym.

Rebecca smiled when she heard Cass but continued with her task of making a rather large cup of coffee. The shower had helped clear the sleep fog from her brain, but her energy could use a caffeine boost. And she was surprisingly hungry after last night's absolute feast. As anxious as it made her, Rebecca wanted to cook for Cass. She just hoped Cass wouldn't mind.

Cass cleared her throat, giving Rebecca yet another warning that she was there. "Good morning."

"Good morning. Would you like to…" Rebecca turned, coffee in hand, and saw Cass in short shorts and a sports bra. Her skin glistened with sweat, and her abs… oh god, her abs. Rebecca's knees buckled at the sight of that sexy as fuck six-pack. "Fuck me. Eat me!" She exclaimed quickly. "Eat with…" Rebecca carefully put her coffee down with a shaky hand and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Would you like to eat breakfast with me?" she asked as calmly as her racing heart would permit.

Cass was torn between laughing at the situation and being irritated that she couldn't do anything about Rebecca's first suggestion.

"Yes. The answer to all of the above will always be yes."

Rebecca let out a sound she'd never heard herself make before. The crazy part about what had just transpired was that while she hadn't meant to say those things, she certainly wanted them.

"I'm so sorry. I… wasn't expecting you to come in here looking like that." But now I understand why you can carry meso easily and why I'm attracted to you.

Cass glanced down at her barely there workout attire. Shit. She'd been so distracted by the thought of Rebecca being awake and not wanting to startle her that Cass forgot about what she was wearing.

"I, uh, was downstairs working out." She grinned sheepishly. "I wasn't expecting you to be up so early."

That little space between Rebecca's eyebrows crinkled in confusion. "Am I not normally up at this time?"

Cass shook her head. "You're more of a double-digits kind of woman. You don't like getting up before double digits, and you don't like going to bed during double digits."

"And you allow that?"

Cass's brows shot up. "Allow? Becca, I'm your wife, not your keeper."

"But you're my… Domme."

Seriously, if Cass's eyebrows could go any further, they'd be resting on the back of her neck by this point. "Your…" She had to sit down before her legs gave out under her. "No. I'm, uh, not your Domme."

Those little crinkles deepened. "But I saw the, um, activity drawer. And I'm pretty sure that behind that locked door is more apparatus. I figured you didn't tell me last night when I asked because you didn't want to freak me out."

The activity drawer. Damn. Had Cass known Rebecca was coming home, would she have cleaned out that drawer? Probably not. She wanted to ease Rebecca back into her life, not lie to her. Or keep anything from her. Yet, you still have her phone.

"I – we… yes, we have an activity drawer, as you call it. But I'm not your Domme, Becca," Cass repeated. Funnily enough, something was holding her back from telling Rebecca she was the Domme.

"Then I don't understand."

"I know," Cass sighed with frustration. If she had been more convinced that throwing a ton of information at Rebecca wouldn't cause her stress or pain, Cass would be drawing maps, making spreadsheets, and showing PowerPoints right now.

Rebecca waited a beat, but Cass didn't continue. "You're not going to tell me?"

"Becca, it's not that I don't want to, it's just…"

"Just?" Rebecca rolled her eyes. "Please don't tell me Aunt Wills got to you with all this hoo-ha about not wanting to influence my memories."

"Hoo-ha," Cass repeated. Would her Rebecca have said a word like ‘hoo-ha?' This is your Rebecca! "Ahem." She focused on the important part of what Rebecca said. "No, Aunt Wills hasn't said that to me. She was more worried about stressing you out with too much info. But, I mean, that makes sense."

"Does it?" Rebecca scoffed. "Because it sounds like hoo-ha to me."

Cass snickered. "I like when you say hoo-ha." She ducked when Rebecca threw a napkin at her that didn't even travel far enough to reach her. "Okay, okay. It makes sense to me because everyone's perception of an event is different." When Rebecca's blank look didn't change, Cass continued. "Aunt Wills wasn't there when we met, yeah? So, her version is what you or I have told her. My version is different than yours and vice versa because of how we came into the situation."

Cass could tell Rebecca was trying to understand, but perhaps not knowing the specifics was hindering that comprehension. Cass drummed her fingers on the table, thinking of a way to explain this.

"Hey, remember the gallery?" she asked suddenly.

Rebecca raised a brow. Was Cass changing the subject for her benefit or Rebecca's? "Yes."

"Don't look at me like that, babe. I'm not ignoring your question. I'm trying to answer it in my own Cass way."

"Fine. I'll be patient." Rebecca hasn't gotten used to that slight tingle she got when Cass called her ‘babe.'

"Thanks," Cass chuckled. "We all experience art differently. And not just the paintings, photographs, and sculptures in a gallery; movies and music—anything that elicits reactions. Take a love song. Someone who just had their relationship turn to shit will listen to that song and hate it because it reminds them of their ex. However, someone who just fell in love will listen to that song over and over and love the fuck out of it because it reminds them of their relationship."

Rebecca narrowed her eyes, annoyed that that actually made sense. "What does the gallery have to do with this?"

"Oh, right," Cass grinned. "Remember my painting?" Rebecca nodded. "The way you explained to Eve how it made you feel? That was different than how you felt about it the first time you saw it."

"It was?"

"Yep. When you saw it in my workroom after I finished it, you said it reminded you of us. Happiness and hope were there, but what grabbed you the most was the intense love you felt looking at it."

Intense love.Rebecca had felt that at the gallery, as well, but had she equated it to her and Cass? Or was it a general feeling? Well, shit. Maybe Aunt Wills and Cass were on to something.

"I hate that that makes sense."

"Why? Because it means Aunt Wills was right?"

Rebecca tsked. "No, because now I can't badger you into just telling me everything. Aunt Wills being right is just salt in the wound." She dumped her now cold coffee out and poured another cup. "Do you want some? Or would you rather have chocolate milk?"

Cass looked up sharply. "How?"

"Don't get too excited," Rebecca warned. "I remembered that's what you drank at the diner."

"Oh. Yeah, um, chocolate milk would be great. It helps my muscles recover faster after a workout."

Rebecca's eyes traveled down Cass's body. Even in her slouched position, Cass was a specimen. "Does the body good," she muttered as she grabbed a bottle of chocolate milk out of the fridge. She passed it to Cass and then sat across from her at the table. "Would you tell me if you were my Domme?"

Cass twisted the cap off the chocolate milk and chugged half the bottle before answering. The fucking way those words sounded coming out of Rebecca's mouth got Cass's libido all kinds of fucked up. Yeah, they had switched roles every once in a while, but being Rebecca's Domme wasn't what Cass desired the most. No, she needed Mistress almost as much as she needed Rebecca. Cass was addicted to that fierce confidence. At least, she thought she was. Being with the more tame version of Rebecca these past few days had taught Cass it wasn't just Mistress she was addicted to. It was every facet of Rebecca.

"Yes," she answered finally, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

"That's it? No elaboration?" Cass shrugged, and Rebecca sighed. She had a feeling she wasn't going to get answers about the locked room and drawer full of… stuff today. "Where did we meet?"

Cass lowered her eyes, picking at the label on her bottle. How would Rebecca feel about meeting at the club? Hell, how would Cass explain why they were both there without delving into all kinds of information she wasn't sure Rebecca was ready for?

"Seriously, Cass?" Rebecca asked, breaking the silence. Again, she saw Cass wince and curious sadness cross her beautiful features and pointed. "That! What is that look that you get when I say your name? Is that not what I call you? Are you lying about not being my Domme, and I'm supposed to be calling you… I don't know, Master or something?"

This time, Cass winced for a different reason. "Ew. Please don't ever say that again." Her entire body shivered with disgust. "I'm not your Master or Domme or keeper or whatever. I'm your wife." And your occasional sub. "But yes, you call me something different."

"Something you're not going to tell me so you don't ‘influence' me, right?" Rebecca said sarcastically. "And is that the excuse for not telling me where or how we met?"

"I know you're frustrated, Becca…"

"You're damn right I'm frustrated! Do you have any idea what it's like to wake up one day and be thrust into the future without some kind of manual? I don't know what has happened in the last two fucking decades, but I do know that I'm missing something! I feel it here." Rebecca pressed a hand over her heart. "It hurts. Whatever my fucking brain can't remember is hurting my heart, and I can't take it anymore. So, please, give me something!"

"Muscle memory," Cass murmured.

"What?"

"I can take you," Cass said instead of repeating herself. "If you want to know where we met, I'll take you to see if it triggers anything."

"You will?" When Cass nodded, Rebecca stood. "How long do you need to get ready?"

"Hang on, Becca. We can't go now."

"But you said…"

"It's not open." Cass got up and walked toward Rebecca, careful not to crowd her. "I will take you tonight if that's what you want."

"It is."

Cass nodded again and hoped to hell she wasn't making the biggest mistake of her life. "It's a date," she said, forcing herself to smile. "What would you like to do until then?"

A date. That made Rebecca a little more giddy than she cared to acknowledge. "Well, I could use some food. I'm actually surprised you lasted this long without mentioning the breakfast I offered."

"You offered a few things," Cass cheekily reminded her. "All of which I'm open to. But breakfast will suffice."

Cass was standing too close for Rebecca to be thinking of those other things. "Great!" she exclaimed, a little overly excited. Bring it down a notch, Rebecca. "I'll just…" She jerked a thumb behind her, turning on her heel to get started before she did anything else embarrassing. She grabbed the eggs out of the fridge and took them to the counter.

Rebecca recalled seeing mixing bowls earlier when she was searching for the coffee mugs. Finding them again was easy; the hard part was how high up they were. She opened the cupboard, wondering what the odds were that Cass wasn't watching her. Rebecca got on her tiptoes and stretched as far as she could, and still, her fingertips barely grazed the bowl she needed. She gasped when she felt Cass's hot body pressed against her back.

"I got it," Cass murmured in her ear.

"T-thank you." Good lord. Her body had never felt this before. Whatever happened, whether Rebecca regained her memory or not, she wanted to stay with Cass. She wanted to get to know the woman she had married and explore her relationship with this dynamic woman. If Cass made her feel this way after only a few days and a few touches, Rebecca couldn't imagine what it would be like to be… intimate with her.

"My pleasure." Cass stepped back before she did something stupid like grab Rebecca and kiss her senseless. "Do you need help? I mean, I'm a shit cook, but I'm great at chopping and whisking."

Rebecca smiled. "I think I can manage."

"Are you sure?"

Rebecca paused in the middle of breaking eggs over the bowl. "Why do you sound skeptical? I assume I cooked for you before all this happened."

"We don't spend a lot of time in here, no. Every once in a while we get the urge to cook. Then we have to eat what we cook, and, well, we decide that takeout is much easier and tastier."

"I… don't cook for you?" When Cass shook her head, Rebecca frowned. "So, I didn't get over it?" she said more for her own benefit than Cass's. Then she looked up at Cass. "I used to love to cook. It made me feel normal. Then one day Samantha got mad at me and… you know this story, don't you?"

"Yeah. But you never told me you loved cooking."

"You said when we cook, it isn't that great. I stopped cooking after that episode, Cass. Maybe I never started up again." Rebecca leaned against the counter and sighed. "That makes me sad, actually."

"It's never too late to start up again if that's what you want, Becca. And if you do, know I will never expect you to cook, but I will always be grateful. And you'll always have me as a prepper."

The sentiment touched Rebecca. "Thank you. Let's see if I burn down the house first, then we'll go from there."

Though the lasagna incident popped into her head, Cass laughed. Rebecca's feelings were her priority, so Cass kept that memory to herself.

"I do the burning. That's why I'm relegated to prep work. Which I'm still totally willing to do if you need help."

"I would like to do this for you if that's okay."

"Yeah, it's definitely okay. I'll get out of your way and go take a shower. I'm, uh, gonna go upstairs to our bathroom, ‘kay? I won't be long."

Rebecca nodded, trying and failing to keep from imagining the image of Cass in the shower. She was so focused on not undressing Cass in her mind that she forgot to ask how Cass liked her eggs. With a shrug, she went back to her task. If she knew anything about Cass Giles, it was that she would eat practically anything as long as it wasn't vegetables.