Chapter 27

Rebecca fidgeted in her seat.She knew in her heart that this was the right decision, but she wished her head would catch up. The one thing she was sure of—somehow—was that she trusted Cass enough to make this leap.

"Are you sure about this, Rebecca?"

"That's the tenth time you've asked me that, Aunt Wills."

"And you've been a nervous wreck all morning. Rebecca Giles doesn't fidget, yet you can't seem to stop."

Rebecca Giles. While Rebecca never thought of herself as the marrying type or the type to take someone else's name, she had to admit that she liked the sound of it.

"My answer hasn't changed. I'm sure. But that doesn't mean I'm not nervous about it." Rebecca shifted in her seat. "Are you worried about me or Cass?"

"Both," Willamena answered honestly. "You're my niece, but Cass has become my family, too. When you didn't go home with her, it broke her heart. If you do this and change your mind, I'm afraid Cass's fragile heart will shatter beyond repair."

"Well, shit, Aunt Wills. No pressure." Rebecca sighed. "Look, I'm not planning on changing my mind. My focus is getting my memory back, and I truly believe being with Cass will help. God, the last thing I want to do, Aunt Wills, is hurt her."

Just the thought of Rebecca being the cause of pain for Cass was enough to bring tears to Rebecca's eyes.

Willamena nodded. "That's the best answer you've given so far. Way better than "yessss, Aunt Wills,'" she said, mimicking Rebecca's exaggerated whine.

Rebecca glared at her aunt. "You have gotten ornery in your old age." Willamena pulled to the curb, and Rebecca thought for sure she'd gone too far with the ‘old' joke. "Uh, you're not kicking me out of the car, are you?"

Willamena laughed. "I have half a mind to say yes after you called me old." She pointed at a beautiful, modern home that sat far enough off the road to afford a good bit of privacy.

Rebecca's brows rose as she leaned forward to look out the windshield. "Is that Cass's… um, our house?"

"Yep." Willamena smiled as she watched Rebecca's awe. "It was Cass's home, then you moved in. Since then, it has changed a bit with the two of you deciding to make it uniquely yours."

"It's beautiful. So serene. So… different."

"Different than what you expected?"

Rebecca looked at her aunt. "When she was high, Samantha often accused me of sleeping with anyone that came near the house. Towards the end, she was high more often than not. Everything in the yard died. The house was becoming dilapidated. So when I say different, I mean it looks like a home and not a place where a soul dies."

Willamena reached across the console to take Rebecca's hand. "Your soul flourishes here, my sweet girl," she said, giving Rebecca a light squeeze. "Do you want me to pull into the driveway?"

"No, I…" Rebecca frowned when she looked up at the house again and saw an attractive woman coming out. "Maybe this wasn't a good idea."

Willamena followed Rebecca's line of sight, then shook her head. "Don't jump to conclusions, Rebecca."

"It's not that big of a jump, is it? Obviously Cass is familiar with that woman," Rebecca muttered grumpily.

"Yes, she is. So are you."

Rebecca frowned, squinting to get a better look. The brunette was shorter than Cass, though most of the people she'd already met fit that description. If she recalled correctly, Dr. Vale was tall with darker hair. No, this didn't look like anyone she'd met from their circle of friends.

"Who is she?"

"Her name is Lauren. She's the assistant curator at Sumptor Gallery. And as far as I know, she has a very close… friendship with a supermodel."

Rebecca exhaled sharply. "Shit. I just failed the first test, didn't I?"

"None of this is a test, Becca. You had a reaction based on past experiences. It's completely normal."

"You know what's not normal? You going all super shrink."

"That doesn't negate the fact that I'm right. In fact, I would venture to say that makes me right because I'm a professional."

"Professional pain in my ass," Rebecca mumbled.

"I will dump your ass right here on the curb, woman."

Rebecca snickered. "That's not much of a threat since I'm getting out here anyway."

"You really don't want me to help you?"

"It's two bags, Aunt Wills. I can manage, but thank you." Rebecca leaned over and hugged Willamena. "You're always saving me."

Willamena's smile faltered. "I will always be here for you, my sweet girl. Now, go on, get out of here."

Rebecca patted Willamena's hand. "I love you, too." She stepped out of the car, grabbing her stuff from the back seat. Her heart was pounding in her chest. What if…? Rebecca knocked on the window so Aunt Wills could roll it down. "What if she doesn't want me to move back in?"

"Child, I will sell my Cracker Jack degree on Marketplace if that woman turns you away. You have absolutely nothing to worry about. I promise you. Cass loves you and would turn the world upside down for you. If you remember anything, remember that."

Rebecca inhaled deeply through her nose and released it through her mouth. She then had a flash of doing the same thing with Ellie.

"Becca? Are you okay?"

"Hmm? Y-yes. I thought…" Rebecca shook her head. She didn't know if what she had was a real memory or something her brain generated because of what she had recently learned about Ellie. "Nothing. I'm good. I'll call you later. Uh, Cass will allow me to use her phone, right?"

Allow."Rebecca, what you have with Cass is vastly different than what you had… before. You don't have to be afraid to ask for anything. And I know what I said about Cass's heart shattering if you changed your mind, but she would still understand. If you need to come back to my house for any reason, all you have to do is tell Cass, and she will drive you herself. She would do anything for you, even at the expense of her own happiness."

My first priority is your welfare and recovery. Rebecca was beginning to think Cass was too good for her. "Okay!" Rebecca stood tall and squared her shoulders. She looked confident to anyone on the outside, but in reality, she was trying to keep her lunch from making an appearance. "Wish me luck!"

"You don't need it. All you need is to be yourself and let things play out naturally. Don't rush this, Rebecca. No one has a stopwatch, and there's no timeline. Got it?"

"Got it," Rebecca winked and waved before making her way up the driveway.

Cass stackedcanvases next to her easel. She felt a little lighter after handing off a few pieces to Lauren. They weren't typical pieces from Cass, and she was concerned they wouldn't be accepted. But Lauren was enthusiastic when she came to pick them up. Of course, they still had to pass Eve and Lainey's inspection. Whatever happened, Cass was proud of her work.

Art is an expression of your emotions, not a fulfillment of an obligation.Cass had taken Eve's words to heart. Though there were times when she had nothing to express because it was all too much for her, there were also moments when everything she felt flowed from the tip of the paintbrush. The work was chaotic at times, with bold colors contrasting against the white of the canvas in volatile patterns. Then the mood would shift, and Cass's art would shift with it. Canvases painted entirely black with muted colors calming the unrest in Cass's heart.

The one color she shied away from was the one that made her body respond the most. When Cass touched any shade of pink, her body burned with the need for her wife—for Mistress. Is that what Rebecca felt with her urges? When Rebecca came to Cass with needs that her body demanded, Cass couldn't understand. By talking more with Dr. Woodrow, they would both learn that Rebecca had been conditioned, that it was what her body was used to and that she could crave it at any given time. That's what the color pink did to Cass. It ignited her… desire.

Desire was something Cass wanted to stay away from these days. Her art helped. Painting kept her occupied for most of the day. Visiting Rebecca, oddly enough, helped as well. It reminded her how different things were at the moment. For the most part, Cass did fairly well keeping her brain and libido in check. But the night, when it was time to sleep, the dreams came. Dreams that were full of Rebecca/Mistress. They were so vivid that Cass considered staying asleep until Rebecca came back to her to ‘feel' those hands, that body, and that mouth on her. One night, Cass woke up, stroking herself. Instead of feeling good, it felt like… cheating. After that, Cass vowed not to touch herself again until Rebecca came back to her.

Cass sighed and checked her watch. She had time to grab a quick shower before heading over to Aunt Wills's place. This time, though, she didn't have an excuse. Now that Rebecca knew they were married, Cass's only ‘excuse' was showing up. She sure as hell wasn't going to let Rebecca ever believe Cass wasn't fighting for her. For them.

Cass had just made it to the bedroom, her shirt halfway off, when she heard the doorbell. "Gah, dammit," she muttered, trying to stuff her head back into her shirt, only to get it stuck in the armhole. She was in the process of getting unstuck when she ran into the doorjamb. "Son of a fuck. If this is someone wanting to sell me a car warranty…" Cass made it down the stairs without killing herself and finally got herself situated. She took a deep breath to calm her annoyance before opening the door.

"B-Becca?" Cass stared at Rebecca for ten seconds, then looked around. There was no car, and no Willamena. "How? Did you come here by yourself?"

Rebecca noticed Cass's disheveled hair and wrinkled shirt. "Um, Aunt Wills dropped me off. Am I interrupting something?"

"Huh?" Again, Cass looked around. "Dropped you off?" Eventually, Cass looked down and saw a couple of bags by Rebecca's feet. "I don't understand."

"Can I come in? Or are you busy?" Rebecca's heart was beating frantically. She saw Lauren leave, but that didn't mean there wasn't someone else here, right? Rebecca quickly shooed that thought away, choosing to believe Aunt Wills that Cass… loved her.

"Shit! Yes! I mean, no. I mean." Cass rolled her eyes. "No, I'm not busy. Yes, please come in." She stooped to pick up Rebecca's things, still confused by what was happening. All Cass knew for sure was that Rebecca was there, and that made Cass deliriously happy.

"Are you okay?" Rebecca stepped inside, allowing Cass enough room to close the door. She was nervous as fuck. So far, nothing felt familiar, and Cass didn't seem as happy to see her as Rebecca had hoped or imagined. She had to remind herself that Cass had no idea Rebecca would be showing up at her front door, luggage in hand, and that was probably throwing Cass off balance.

"Yeah!" Stop yelling at her, dumbass! You're going to scare her. "I'm so sorry. I was about to get in the shower, but then I got my head stuck in my shirt and ran into the wall. And now you're standing here, and I'm wondering if I hit my head a little harder than I thought, and maybe I'm really just passed out with my head stuck in my armhole and dreaming."

Rebecca's brows shot up, and she struggled not to laugh. "That… was a lot. But I can assure you, I'm really here."

"Yeah, well, that's something dream Rebecca would say."

"Dream Rebecca," Rebecca repeated merrily. Now she was glad she decided to surprise Cass. This little scene would never have happened otherwise. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed Cass lightly on the cheek, shocking them both. "I, um, I thought pinching you would be too harsh."

Cass touched her cheek in awe. "You're really here," she said, then her eyes grew wide. "Did you remember something?"

Rebecca hated having to burst Cass's bubble. "No. But I," she hesitated.

Her confidence was unpredictable. One minute, Rebecca thought this was the best idea she'd ever had. The next, she feared it would be too much for Cass, and she'd turn her away. Who needed this kind of burden in their life? She loves you. While it was still hard for Rebecca to believe someone besides Aunt Wills truly loved her, she held onto those words, allowing them to fuel her confidence once more.

"I thought maybe immersing myself in the life I don't remember would help. Does that make sense? I don't want to inconvenience you," Rebecca continued quickly. "And if this is a bad idea, please just tell me…"

"Becca? There's nothing I want more than for you to be here."

Rebecca blew out a breath of relief. "Good." She dug a bottle of pills out of her front pocket. "I'm supposed to give you these because I can't be trusted to take them myself, apparently."

Still dumbfounded, Cass took Rebecca's medication and absently stuffed it in her pocket. "I'm sorry. I should stop staring, I know, but I'm just so… surprised you're here."

"That was the point," Rebecca grinned. "I wanted to pull a Cass and just show up. That was probably a stupid idea."

"No, no. It was the best idea!" Cass laughed. "I was headed to the shower before I heard you at the door. Then I would have gotten ready to show up at Aunt Wills's."

"Beat you to it," Rebecca teased.

"You sure did." Cass shook herself out of her idiocy. Rebecca was going to turn around and walk out of there if Cass didn't stop acting like a fool. "C'mon. I'll, uh, put this stuff away in a bit. Maybe after you've gotten settled." She heard the muffled shake of pills in her pocket. "Do you need one of these, or can I put them away?"

"Definitely put them away for now."

Cass nodded. "I trust you to tell me if you need them, Becca." She emphasized her words by tossing the pills onto the entryway table. Obviously, Cass would get them later and put them in the medicine cabinet, but she wanted to do something symbolic to show Rebecca that she meant what she said. "Would you like a tour or…?"

Yes. But no.Fuck, why was she so nervous? Rebecca smiled warmly, knowing it was a little less self-assured than she'd prefer. "Could we sit down for a bit first? Maybe we could figure out how all of this is going to work."

"Of course." Cass would agree to anything as long as it meant Rebecca was home.