59. Jasper Ridge

59

Jasper Ridge

“ I just want to be fixed,” Poppy choked out between sobs, clutching onto my neck loosely as I carried us both out of that house and towards the rising sun. Blood oozed from several different cuts across her face and dripped onto my shirt. She looked so fragile, so breakable in my arms. Her head kept falling backwards as she slipped in and out of consciousness.

She didn’t need to be fixed.

She needed to be loved.

“Stay with me, Wellsy. Hang in there just a little bit more,” I gritted out as I jogged down the path with her in my arms. It was taking every inch of strength inside me to not turn around and run towards the hospital. The only thing keeping me going towards my house was the sound of her screams—how she refused to be taken there. I’d never heard anything as raw, guttural, and horrifying.

I didn’t think I would ever be able to get those sounds out of my head, nor the way she looked right now. Beaten and bruised. Bruised and beaten. By her own mother.

Her. Own. Mother .

I wouldn’t let her go back there.

I couldn’t .

Knowing…

With a soft, saddened sort of smile, Poppy whispered, “Isn’t it beautiful?”

I didn’t need to follow her gaze out towards the sea where golden hues settled in the distance over the shoreline.

“Yeah, it is,” I said, except I wasn’t looking at the sunset.

I was looking at her .

The frail girl in my arms had become everything to me. I ran the first half an hour with her tucked against my chest not knowing if she was even breathing . She could’ve been dead for all I knew. I could’ve been carrying a dead girl in my arms all that time.

I didn’t even check. I just ran.

I ran and hoped with every fiber in me that the universe would let us have just a little bit more time.

“Why do you hate me, Jasper?” she said, breaths starting to slow and even out.

“Poppy…” I exhaled, tightening my grip on her body. “I never hated you.”

“You did.” She cleared her throat. “You do .”

I went to speak but she pushed her fingers against my lips. “ Shh . It’s okay. I don’t hate you for it. Not anymore. Because you, Jasper Ridge…you make me want to stop running,” she whispered. “I lied before, when I said maybe we should’ve stayed strangers. You’re the only thing keeping me afloat in this ocean. I would’ve drowned a long time ago if you hadn’t given me a reason to make it through another day.”

“Poppy—”

“How could you like someone like me?” she asked, barely above a whisper. The uncertainty in her voice made my heart shatter into a million pieces.

“How could I not like someone like you, Wellsy?”

In every person I crossed paths with, I searched for the fragments of her. It aggravated me. It drove me to the point of insanity because I knew, deep down, that she was one in a million. She was my Wellsy, broken parts and all.

“I’d choose you, you know?” I offered her a small truth.

In every lifetime, Wellsy. Every. Damned. One.

“I can’t…I can’t let you waste your time on me when you have the final surfing competition coming up. I can’t— we can’t—”

“I can and I will.”

She sighed, shaking her head with a wince. “I’m nowhere near getting past this stupid, stupid mental block, Jasper. It’s a hopeless case to even try and unravel.”

I’m a hopeless case to even try and unravel.

“You’re worth it, do you hear me? We’ll get you past that mental block, Wellsy. I don’t care about the competition, I care about you . You are worth so much more to me than some stupid competition.”

“Even though I would beat you?”

I almost smiled.

There’s my girl.

“Debatable,” I chuckled as I kicked open my front door with my foot.

“Is it though? You’re just scared to admit I’m better than you.”

I stopped dead in my tracks to look down at her as I said, “Poppy…I’d admit you’re better than me to anyone who would fucking listen if it meant that you would stop looking at me the way you’re looking at me now.”

“And how am I looking at you?” she whispered.

“Like you think you’re losing me.”

“Aren’t I though? This competition determines your entire future , Jasper. As much as I love hearing you say sweet things to me, this isn’t something you can brush off doing. It’s everything you’ve ever worked for. I’m just being realistic here. I know you have too much pressure on you at the minute, and I’m the only part of your life that is expendable…so you have to let me go.”

“ You are my future, Poppy. Don’t you get it? You’re not fucking expendable. Not to me. I don’t know what your parents did to make you feel that for one second you aren’t worth fighting for…but they are wrong . So fucking wrong, baby. Everything they’ve told you, all those lies…they’re all fucking wrong because, Wellsy, you are worth everything .”

Poppy looked at me then as if I’d slapped her clean across the face. The shock of my words was sown across her eyes and the way they’d widened, her lips slightly parted.

“You can’t possibly mean that—”

“I do,” I interjected, refusing to back down. “Every. Fucking. Word.”

“I think I like like you, Ridge,” she whispered after a moment as she clutched onto me, so small and afraid.

“I think I like like you more, Wells,” I admitted as I placed her down on the kitchen island before turning away to fish the medical bag from the cupboard. It’d take more than some flimsy band aids to mend her wounds but I wasn’t about to argue with her.

Not tonight.

My mom was a nurse. She’d know what to do tomorrow.

As I turned back around, I noted the small smile tugged at those rosy, pink lips. “You want to test that theory?” Poppy smirked before wincing a little.

“You bet I do,” I smirked right back at her. “Meet on the waves at dawn?”

She laughed, and the sound echoed like a wrecking ball against my heart that never really stood a chance against that girl.

“You’ll be sorry you ever made that bet, Ridge.”

I took her shivering knuckles in mine, pressing a gentle kiss to her skin as I kept my eyes locked onto hers. “There’s no bet I’ve ever regretted making when it comes to you, Wellsy.”

I wanted to kiss her there and then, to take her lips in mine and show her just how deeply my soul ached for her. Show her how much she was wanted .

But I knew I couldn’t .

It was my selfish need, and that was probably the last thing she wanted right now.

The best thing I could do was pretend everything was normal when it was so fucking far from the truth. For her sake because for Poppy Wells, I’d burn down the world if only she asked it of me.

“Why did you make that bet with me, Jasper?” Poppy slurred, eyes starting to droop heavily. I lent forward, placing my arms on either side of her in case she slumped forwards.

“You know why, Wellsy.”

“Yeah—” she yawned, shaking her head slowly. “But I don’t think it’s the whole truth.”

“Okay, sleepyhead,” I chuckled, earning a small frown from her. “I think you need to sleep it off.”

Her eyes widened in panic. “No, please you can’t take me back there, please —”

“Hey,” I cupped her cheeks in my palms, gently stroking her skin with my thumb. “It’s okay, Wellsy. You’re safe. We’re safe. No one is forcing you to go back there, okay?”

Her entire body was shaking beneath my touch. She was completely and utterly terrified of going back home.

“You’ll stay with me?” she whispered, slowly starting to relax into my palms.

“Yeah,” I smiled softly, leaning my forehead against hers, letting my eyes fall closed for a brief second. “I’ll stay with you, Wellsy.”

Poppy Wells had always been the toughest girl I knew, besides Lia. She was a fighter, and a damned good one at that. People in this town were truly oblivious to what went on inside that house—what had been going on all these years. Hell , even I had no idea it was that bad. I’d heard about Oliver’s death years ago, just small town gossip about a child who drowned, but I had no idea he was her brother.

I had no idea about any of it…

She said that his death was the catalyst that started it all. That once he was gone, everything went to hell. It was bad before, but after…her own fucking father tried to rape her for fuck sake, mistaking her for his wife , and her mother ? She nearly beat the entire living daylights out of her.

It was a fucking miracle that girl was still breathing .

“Matilda,” I whispered, the pieces slowly falling into place inside my mind. Nothing about the way you were treated ever seemed especially alarming till now, so you tie up your hair and you smile like it’s no big deal… “Poppy—” I croaked out heavily.

“It’s okay,” she whispered, somehow knowing exactly what I was going to say. “You didn’t know.”

“But I should’ve,” I countered. “All these years…”

“You couldn’t have known, Jasper. It isn’t your fault. ”

“It isn’t your fault either, Poppy.”

She went quiet and I could tell she was thinking over my words, unsure if they were true or not. I knew she would blame herself for this—I knew because it was what I would do.

I dipped my finger underneath her chin so I could see her face as I said, “It is not your fault, Poppy. None of this was your fault.”

Tears started falling from her eyes, one by one, as she looked at me, completely unmoving. “It feels like it is. It always is.”

“It’s not,” I gritted out before calming myself back down again. It was her parents I was angry with, not her. Never her. “It’s not, Poppy.”

“And—” she sniffled, wiping the back of her hand across her eyes, collecting each tear as it fell down her cheek. “And you still want to be my friend? Even though my life is a fucking mess and I’m a fucking mess?”

I wanted to be so much more than your friend, Poppy Wells.

“Yes,” I rasped. “Give me the messy, Wellsy. Hell, give me all of it. There is no part of your life, no part of you that could ever scare me away. I’m your Spiderman, after all,” I grinned, quoting her words from back when we were in the bathroom together at Jakson’s party. “And you’re my Gwen Stacy. Nothing could ever change that.”

“You know how that ended, though…” she whispered, looking down as she scratched the back of her neck, brown curls fanning gracefully across her shoulders.

“We’re going to rewrite it, Wellsy,” I said, completely dedicated to getting that girl her happy ending, even if I wasn’t a part of it. “I’ll get you your happy ending, Wellsy. I promise.”

She glanced at me with these sad green eyes. “Don’t make me promises we both know you can’t keep, Jasper,” she whispered.

“Then it’s a good thing I can keep that one,” I grinned. “Come on,” I held out my hand for her to take. “Let’s find you some more comfy clothes.”

Hesitantly, she placed her hand in mine. I led her down the hallway and into my bedroom. Compared to the one Jakson had given me, this one was a whole lot smaller and less extravagant, yet when I glanced back at Poppy, she looked more at home here than she had in my bedroom at Jakson’s .

Walking over to my bed, she plopped herself down on my mattress cross-legged as I raided my closet for my Spiderman hoodie and a pair of sweat pants for her to change into. When I found what I was looking for, I chucked them back at her.

“Hey!” she gasped, letting out a small laugh. I turned around almost immediately at the sound, utterly drawn to her like a magnet. Her eyes widened when she saw the hoodie I had thrown at her, before glancing back up at me with grateful doe-like eyes.

I flashed her a small smirk as I closed my closet doors, placing one of my hands in my pocket as I ran the other through my hair. “I can show you where the bathroom is, if you’d feel more comfortable changing there. You can use any of the products my mom has if you want. Same with the shower and everything.”

She looked at me for a second before nodding. Slowly, she rose off of the bed and walked towards the door, giving me a small smile as she passed. When she left, closing the door behind her, I collapsed onto my bed, letting out a deep groan. My chest felt like it was suffocating, beating heavily like someone had taken a jackhammer to my heart.

Restlessness coursed through my body, and if I didn’t get up and do something, I think I might very well have exploded. Walking over to my desk, I picked out one of my Spiderman comics and flicked through the pages, letting the story wipe the heaviness of reality away.

After three comics, the echoes of running water hadn’t stopped. Each second that passed without her felt like I was being tortured. I was buzzing, riding out an anxiety high. Jumping up from my desk chair, I walked over to the bathroom. Just to make sure she was okay. Just to calm the panic flooding my chest like a rising tide.

Knocking on the door, I said, “Wellsy, you okay in there?”

I was met with silence.

So I knocked again.

And again. And again .

I called out her name.

No response.

“I’m going to open the door, Poppy,” I rasped, giving her a few seconds to cover up and think over my words before I slammed my entire body weight into the wood separating her from me. The door swung open and my eyes immediately locked onto the small figure slumped against the shower wall. Slowly walking over there, I knelt down in front of the glass, clearing a small patch free of steam.

“Hi, Poppy,” I breathed.

Her face was emotionless—an impenetrable wall of steel. Once bloodied clothes hung to her frame, completely soaked through as crimson water dripped down her body and was swept under the drain. Stepping into the shower, I let the water hammer down on my clothes. They could always be washed but people couldn’t always be fixed.

Kneeling down in front of her, I tilted her chin up to face me. There was no life in those sad, green eyes. No happiness. Nothing . Just desolate emptiness, as if the weight of her past had finally drained the remaining life from within her. Delicately, I swept a loose strand of hair from her eyes and tucked it gently behind her ear.

I reached for the lavender scented soap before turning back to the girl who had become my entire world. “I need you to give me your consent to touch you, Wellsy.” Because I don’t want you to regret this— regret me.

She blinked once at me, the most human-like interaction I’d gotten out of her so far.

“I need you to say it,” I rasped. “Can you do that for me, Wellsy?”

“Yes,” she croaked out, gasping heavily. “Yes.”

I let her words sink into me as I squirted some of the body wash onto my palms. Starting at her shoulders, I delicately massaged the soap into her skin, taking my time to wash away any remains of what she faced tonight. I knew there was a much deeper battle she’d have to face, but if by doing this, I could help in some way…then it would be worth it. I just hoped she knew she didn’t have to fight through it all alone because she wasn’t .

From now on, there wouldn’t be a day that passed where she didn’t have me to count on. I was completely and irrevocably dedicated to that girl, and if a higher power did exist, then Poppy Wells was his greatest masterpiece.

“Where’s that beautiful smile gone, Wellsy?” I smiled, letting the words roll lightly off my tongue. I’d give anything to see her smile just one more time.

Her reddened, glassy eyes stared right through me like she was haunted by a thousand ghosts, yet I was not deterred nor afraid. Poppy Wells was feeling the weight of the world right now, and I’d stay by her side until feeling turned to healing, and nightmares turned to forgotten memories. At whatever pace she needed, I would be there for her, every step of the way.

Bundling her body up in my arms, clutching her against my chest with a firm grip, I stepped us both out of the shower. I turned the water off as I reached for one of my gray towels, wrapping her up warm in the soft fabric. Bumping my shoulder into hers in an attempt to get her to laugh, my heart seized from beating completely when I saw a glimpse of a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

There’s my fighter.

I was utterly captivated by the essence of her soul. By every inch of her. Ruffling her towel, I captured any loose water droplets clinging to her skin before letting it fall to the floor. Poppy looked up at me, completely vulnerable beneath my touch.

My gaze fell down to her lips—those beautiful lips that haunted my every dream. I glanced back at her once more, noting the way her eyes softened and her shoulders dropped down. My fingers grazed the skin by her shoulder ever so gently, igniting sparks inside my soul. I slowly dipped my fingers under the thin straps of her tank top, pulling it lightly over her head.

I didn’t look away from her eyes—I wouldn’t let myself. That girl had every inch of my respect. My ungodly thoughts would always come in second to making sure she felt safe and comfortable. Tugging down the waistband of her shorts over her hips, I waited for her to shimmy out of them before reaching for her face, cupping her cheeks in my palms. Poppy melted into my touch, leaning into me despite the desolateness lingering in her exhausted gaze.

“You are the strongest person I know, Poppy. So fucking strong and brave,” I rasped, needing her to know— what exactly?

That I was a complete and utter fool for her? That she was a fighter and a damned fucking good one at that? That she had been my every thought from the moment we first met and I’d go to the ends of the earth on her behalf ?

“You are not weak because of this,” I tapped the skin above where her heart lay gently, “you, Wellsy, are fierce and determined and kind…but most of all, you are human. You feel and you cry and you get angry and you get sad all because you are human. Poppy…you were never broken to begin with, you just needed a little help to find your way back to yourself. Para encontrar o caminho de volta à vida .”

Tears started rolling down her cheeks, mirroring the ones falling from my own eyes.

“Why are you crying, Spiderman?” Poppy sniffled, glancing up at me with a softened gaze as she wiped her thumb across my cheek in a smooth motion.

“Seeing you upset makes me feel sad,” I admitted truthfully. I hated when she was sad knowing that there was nothing I could do but try and help soothe the pain of reopened wounds.

“I’m not sad,” she whispered, shaking her head gently. “These are tears of overwhelming happiness. No one has ever said such kind things to me before, Jasper. It’s okay though because I can handle it, but sometimes… sometimes I wish I didn’t have to.”

“It’s not okay,” I bit down on my bottom lip in an attempt to calm myself down before I spooked her again. “None of that is okay, Poppy. You shouldn’t have to be their punching bag. Fuck ,” I groaned, running my fingers through my hair, “you are their daughter and that should be enough!”

“But it’s not enough !” she cried, jabbing her hands against my chest mimicking the pounding of my heart beneath my ribs. “ I am not enough!”

“Yes, you are !” I yelled back as I reached out and gripped her cheeks, pulling her body tightly against mine. “You are,” I rasped, intently glancing between her eyes, almost willing her to hear my words and believe them. “ You are enough , Poppy.”

“For you, I might be…but for everyone else? I—”

“Screw everyone else,” I interrupted. “Be enough for you, Wellsy. Chase your dreams, no matter how childish they may be. Smile and laugh and be playful again. People will never ever be satisfied with who you are, and you will ruin yourself trying to please them, and…I’m quite fond of you, Wells, so please don’t break yourself for them.” She smiled then, small and frail, but it was a smile, nonetheless—a smile I would die to see again. “It’s no t worth it. They aren’t worth it. But you know what is?”

“What?” she whispered, teary-eyed.

“ You .”

“Jasper—” she sobbed, shaking her head gently as I continued caressing her cheek with my thumb. “Just thank you. For this, for everything…I really don’t deserve your kindness, even though no matter what I say, you still give it to me anyway.”

“Damn straight I will, Wellsy,” I grinned. “And you do deserve it, minha menina surfista . Every last drop of it.”

“I—” she breathed heavily, “I do mean it, Jasper. I am incredibly grateful for everything you have done for me. Being with you these last few months has given me strength I never knew I had to begin with, and I owe a lot of my happiness to you, so for that, thank you.” She smiled up at me, bringing her lips to my cheek and pressing a gentle kiss to my skin—a mere feather of a touch that had my entire body radiate with the light of a million stars. “And I hope you know that you are worth it, too, Spiderman,” she added softly.

“This strength, this fighting courage inside of you has always been there, Wellsy. It has nothing to do with me,” I replied because it was the truth. I didn’t know how she failed to see just how strong she really was.

“It does,” she breathed, reaching up onto her tiptoes as she swung her arms around my neck. I instantly pulled her closely to me, never wanting to let her go. “Everything does.”

For a moment, we stood there tangled in the warmth of one another. I didn’t need the world when I had her. She was everything I’d ever need and more. Poppy Wells had never been just average at anything—especially when it came to stealing my heart.

Bundled back up in her cotton towel, I pressed a soft kiss to her forehead before gathering her back in my arms and walking us both back into my room. Poppy laughed as I swept her off her feet, burying her face against my chest, arms wrapped around my neck loosely, knowing she was safe with me.

She gasped as I threw her gently onto my bed, a small smirk playing on my lips as she made me turn around so she could pull my hoodie and a pair of boxers on. I changed into some black and red checkered pants and joined her on the bed. Nestling into my side, bodies a mess of intertwined limbs, I held Poppy close to me, never once letting her go.

“Sweet dreams, Gwen Stacy,” I whispered, letting the night treasure my words. Except when I looked down, Poppy was already cradled by deep sleep, utterly exhausted and drained from the day. Her brown curls were fanned across her face and trailed down her shoulders. Gently, I pushed aside the few strands covering her eyes and let myself marvel at the beauty that was her.

Just when I thought she had finally drifted off into some much needed sleep, I heard her little voice whisper, “I got that tattoo, Jasper. The one I always wanted. I don’t have to be afraid anymore. She can’t hurt me anymore.”

I held my breath, keeping quiet until her small breaths evened out letting me know she was indeed sleeping again. I didn’t remember her ever talking about getting a tattoo. Hell , I didn’t even know she had one.

Her words puzzled my thoughts all the way into the morning until the sunlight filtered through my blinds, and only then when she rolled over did I see a small, butterfly semicolon tattoo hidden behind her ear.