24. Cal

24

CAL

Signaling to my next in command to go left, we surround the building. The target was confirmed onsite. Quickly and quietly, we make our way into the back. The team splits, each taking a different direction. I head further into the maze, methodically clearing every room. I finally found that bastard, hiding like a fucking pussy. I go to reach for him as he throws his wife at me. I catch her and then …

I blinked and now I'm strapped to a table. How did I get here? Wasn't I just hunting him? How did I become the prey? My heart beats frantically in my chest. Sweat is pouring off me as I try to get out of the manacles holding me in place. I can't see a way out. All I hear are screams of pain. Where are they coming from? I glance wildly about the space. It's empty except for a two-way mirror.

Closing my eyes, I attempt to figure out what the hell is happening. Opening my eyes, Kiel's face appears above me, laughing maniacally. "Cal … I told you I would fucking win." His eyes are wild and crazed as he brings up a Damascus hunting blade, swinging it down. I brace for the impact. Its trajectory is dead center of my chest. A final kill. As soon as it slams into my heart, I gasp for my final breath.

"Cal. Wake up." My body is rocking. "Wake up, Cal it's just a nightmare - it's not real. CALLLLLL!" Someone is screaming my name and shaking me. My eyes pop open; my chest rising and falling rapidly. I sit up and see Ava curling around me. Soothingly, she murmurs: "You're okay … You're okay." I wrap an arm around her.

"Yep." My voice is rough with sleep and yelling. I can't seem to understand how these events have merged into this fucked up mess. Sure, it's the same bastard. But years apart, and the first time around, we did the harm. I give Kiel his credit, he had me over a barrel when he took me to his torture cave. He should have killed me when he had the chance. Rubbing Ava's back, I apologize.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you." Shaking my head, I lean back against the headboard, taking her with me. "And you were finally getting a good night's sleep until I fucked it up." I gently kiss her head.

"Cal," she murmurs so quietly that I barely hear her. "Umm… would you tell me about your nightmare?" As she speaks, she slowly curls into herself as though she is afraid of my response. She is still wrapped around me, allowing me to pull her to my body. It's more than I have done since she was found standing over Kiel. My hand is leisurely sliding up and down the soft skin of her back, her nightgown allowing my access to her upper back.

She doesn't push. She silently waits. I tip her chin up, staring into her eyes. There's no judgment, only curiosity and complete openness. She is willing to be vulnerable with me. Maybe. Maybe I need to accept this opportunity. Perhaps exposing myself to her will give us the jumpstart that I am desperate to have.

Clearing my throat, I divulge everything. I talk about my first time in Afghanistan, when we captured Kiel and his wife. Not wanting to have questions, I reveal it all. I explain the reason for our choices and throw myself and her brothers under the bus at her mercy. Shifting positions to sink further into the bed, I continue, noticing that Ava doesn't move her head as it rests on my chest. She allows me to leave my hand on her back.

Again, another win.

I don't hold back. I disclose what led up to Kiel having not only her but myself. I tell her how he gave me zero choices. How I gave myself to him hoping that he would release her. After confessing about the torture I experienced and how he left me, Ava shifts closer to me, putting her chin on my chest. She pins me with a look. I can't decipher the emotion lingering but I wait.

It wasn't easy to tell her all the things Kiel did to me. I know that what I experienced pales in comparison, but it still left me vulnerable and exposed. Knowing that sharing can only benefit us both, I didn't want her to feel like I was holding back anything. But as I gaze into her beautiful shimmering eyes, I know that this was exactly what I needed to do for both of us.

"Cal. You aren't alone. I want you to know … that I do … Uhhh…" Her cheeks tinge pink. Is she blushing? Her hand comes up from her side and she slowly starts tracing my chest and abdomen. Her touch does things to me. It makes me want to devour her. Completely enthralled with the designs she is mapping out on my exposed skin, I almost forgot she was speaking. Not wanting to frighten her, I choose to lay there and let her be, enjoying that she is finally touching me.

"What I am trying to say is …. That I want you too?" I freeze. My body locks up. It needs to because all I want to do now is flip her on her back and show her why we are so good together. But it's way too soon. She doesn't need me manhandling her … yet. This is what I have been waiting for. The sign that she is coming home, not just physically but her mind is healing and is accepting me.

Languidly pulling my hand out from behind my head, I wrap it around Ava to hug her to me, kissing her forehead. "Ava," I whisper gruffly against her soft hair. "I'm glad."

Wrapped around Ava, I don't want to move. I lay here beside her, lazily running my hand down her back until I hear her soft snores. Thankfully, she finally falls back into a fitful sleep. She truly needs the rest. She needs to heal. I don't move. I won't move. She is allowing me to freely touch her. I feel as though today has been pivotal for us.

Staring out the window, enjoying the view and holding the most precious gift, I think how it can only get better from here. When the sun first peaked over the tall trees this morning, it felt like today would be a complete loss. Now, as those same trees are bathed in the light of the full moon, I want to crow to the stars about my victory.

Our victory.