9. Raven

NINE

RAVEN

Sleep eludes me. A familiar feeling at this stage. My eyes are glossed over, not really seeing as I blink into the darkness. Brax’s arm is draped over my stomach, holding me close as his steady breathing offers comfort.

Caught between drowning in numbness, crying until the sobs make me pass out, and the desperate need to do… something, anything, leaves me paralyzed beneath the sheets. My mind is unrelenting, circulating on every worry I have, playing on repeat as they keep me awake.

Once upon a time, the thoughts that kept me up at night were warped with worry over what the next day would look like if the bruises from the prior night’s attack would be noticeable and sore. Who would I be as a Void? What future would I even have? One even worth living?

Now… as dark as my mind once went, it doesn’t compare to this.

Where are Creed, Eldon, and Zane?

Are they safe?

Is there hope?

Where is the emerald gate?

How can we find it?

Is there another way?

How can I hop in on Brax’s dreams that seem to take him there?

Is he there now?

I glance over my shoulder to see him sleeping contently, giving nothing away, and I sigh, curling back in on myself.

What did Rhys mean when he warned me something wasn’t okay with my father?

Do I care?

Is Ari safe?

Why isn’t he hearing me?

Why can’t I go and see him?

What could be happening at the compound?

How do I get there without a gateway or my familiar’s aid?

My eyes squeeze tightly closed, trying to strengthen a connection with him. I feel the pool of warmth in my gut that I’ve come to associate with him, but otherwise, there’s nothing.

What will it take to bring Erikel down once and for all?

Can we truly rely on The Monarchy to do it?

I know the answer to that already. The truth floods through my veins and I hate the reality of it. If I want to see this all come to an end, then I’m going to have to do something about it. What was it that Eldon said when I first got here? A murmur of a prophecy. I remember the conversation like it was yesterday.

“I get them sometimes, but they’re hard to decipher. It could be nothing.”

“It was a raven.”

“It had pink feathers.”

“There was a map, and the raven’s claw was placed on Shadowmoor.”

“What else?”

“Nothing.” I can see the denial in his eyes.

“What else, Eldon? What else did the raven have or do that could possibly make you think it was me?”

“I don’t know. I just know that in my vision, a war was coming, a war across realms, threatening all of existence. And the raven… she saved us all.”

Saved us all?

It felt extreme at the time. Shit, it still does now, but is this what he meant? Erikel?

Scrubbing a hand down my face, I shift beneath Brax’s arm so I can lie on my back, letting his hand rest against my stomach as I stare up at the ceiling.

No matter how much I try to rid it from my existence, helplessness clings to me like a second skin.

The first shadow that shimmies across the far wall catches me by surprise, but by the fourth, my eyes aren’t as wide. I’m used to waking up and being surrounded by them. This is the first time I’m catching them as they begin to appear. It’s captivating.

Four grows to ten, and I stop counting by the time I reach twenty. There are too many for me to keep on top of, and it doesn’t seem to be as though they’re done coming. I lie silently, watching, following, trailing their every move, until one pauses on the far wall, the silhouette turning as though it faces me, and my heart lurches in my chest.

Just like the other time, it begins to grow, consuming more and more of the wall as its shadow takes hold of the entire room. It inches closer, dominating my attention as everything else around me fades into the background.

My spine stiffens when I sense a rasp echo around the room. I glance at Brax, but he’s as still as he was before, fast asleep. I know it’s not him, though. It’s the shadow peering down at me. The sound comes again, making me frown as I try to decipher what the hell it’s trying to say.

“Sleep. Sleep, Raven.”

I gape as the words register. I want to tell them I’ve fucking tried. That it’s impossible. My eyes refuse to give and my brain point-blank declines the order to shut off and sleep. But I don’t have a choice because the room goes dark around me.

Free falling in the darkness, nausea churns in my gut as the weightless feeling leaves me breathless. Everything stops with a thump and I glance around, disoriented, to find misty white and pale gray surrounding me.

I scramble to my feet, gaping down at the oversized tee that falls mid-thigh on me. A creak squeaks behind me, making me whirl around in panic to find a familiar wrap-around porch just a few steps away.

“Raven?” My eyes widen and my heart feels close to exploding when my eyes lock with Zane’s. “Raven,” he repeats, the disbelief in his voice real as my face falls into my hands.

Is this what sleep has become? Hauntings of what I desire most?

Maybe I should have stayed awake. Maybe I shouldn’t have let the silhouette get so close to do… whatever the hell it did to me.

Fuck.

“Dove?” The nickname on his lips makes my throat bob and my fingers tremble. A moment later, hands run down my arms in the softest touch, evoking a gasp from my lips that mirrors the noise coming from Zane. “You’re here. You’re really here.”

My hands slowly fall away from my face as I look up into his hazel eyes in awe.

“Zane?”

“Oh, thank fuck, Dove,” he rasps, lifting me in the air as he pins me to his chest, twirling us in a circle.

I can’t truly process what’s happening as he places me back on the ground, but all too quickly, I’m launched into the air again, only this time, it’s at the hands of Eldon.

“Fuck, Little Bird. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” He clings to me like his life depends on it, and I squeeze back just as tight. His fingers tangle in my hair and his other arm is banded so firmly around my waist that I’m sure I’m going to pass out.

When my bare feet make it back to the ground again, my forehead is pressed against his chest, my mind still delirious with disbelief as soft kisses pepper all over my head.

Just as I lean back to peer up at him, he’s ripped from me, my eyes widening as I remain startled, only to have Creed replace the very spot Eldon was in moments earlier. Tired and pained onyx eyes find mine as he simply stands and stares at me for what feels like an eternity.

He’s not like Eldon and Zane, tossing me in the air all carefree and excited; he’s calculated, restrained, and controlled. He’s my Creed.

I eliminate the distance remaining between us. Gripping his black top in my hands, I press myself against him. Chest to chest, his arms descend around me, engulfing me in his warmth, and I sag in his embrace.

“It worked. It actually fucking worked.”

I frown at Zane’s words, acutely aware that he still lingers close by. Tilting my head, I turn to face him, but Creed grips my chin, pausing me as his eyes pierce into mine. His lips descend, cutting off my next breath.

His tongue pries my lips open before dancing along mine. My hands lift to cling to his shoulders, completely distracting me until he rips his lips away, our short, sharp breaths mingling between us.

“What worked?” I ask hoarsely, still confused about my surroundings and how real they are.

Before he answers, Creed takes a step back, reaching for my hand and turning me to face the house. Brax is standing on the porch with his parents flanking him, and there’s a softness to his shoulders that I’ve never seen before.

“The five of us have spent all day going over everything that has been tried and failed before so we can see what fresh options we may have of getting out of here. I’m not going to lie, Raven, nothing was working. I was certain it was completely going to shit.” He glances away from me, the frustration getting the better of him, but he quickly regathers himself. “That is, until Brax arrived.”

My gaze flickers to my hotheaded gargoyle, who was sleeping soundly beside me just moments ago.

“What changed?” I ask, following Creed’s lead as he moves toward the porch steps.

“Not to give him an even bigger ego than he already has, but he really did show up and see everything from a different perspective,” Eldon states from my right, Zane a step beside him.

“I made them see that we can use the shadows here to draw you in too. Then, we can see this through together. As a team. Like we always do.”

I gulp, nodding in agreement at Brax as a soft smile takes over my lips. The silhouettes can aid them pulling me through to the Realm of Shadows? Hope consumes me. “We’re really here? Together?”

“We’re in our dreams, so not quite the same, but it’s more than what we had,” Brax offers, and his mother strokes a comforting hand down his spine before turning to me.

“We’ll give you guys a few minutes to chat, then I think we have a lot to go over together when you’re ready.” Her smile reaches from ear to ear as she glances over each of us before stepping inside, her husband right behind her as the five of us stand together.

It feels surreal, overwhelming, and joyous. So fucking joyous.

As if sensing the emotions rippling through me, each one of my guys inches closer. Creed’s fingers tighten around mine. Eldon’s hand finds the small of my back. Zane circles behind me, grabbing my waist as he presses a kiss at the nape of my neck, while Brax moves to stand before me, towering down like the strong gargoyle he is, tipping my chin back to look up at him.

With each of them touching me, my heart feels whole. Relief floats off me in waves. It feels so strong. I’m certain I’m going to see it cascade around me.

“How are we touching?” The question falls from my lips without thought.

“I don’t know, but I don’t care either,” Eldon murmurs, making me smile.

“What I want to know is if I can fuck you right now, Dove. Prove you’re real,” Zane whispers against my ear, making me shiver.

“Maybe next time, asshole. We really do have a lot to discuss. Remember?” Creed grumbles, putting a stop to the idea immediately.

“Fucker,” Zane utters under his breath, and I snicker, the same taunt running through my mind too. But there must be things I need to know if how I got here is anything to go by.

“If you’re cock blocking, Creed, you better lead the way,” I state, earning a grin from Eldon at my other side.

Without another word, the five of us head inside, happy to bask in each other’s proximity as they lead me to the kitchen. Steaming mugs of hot cocoa are waiting on the dining table. Much to Zane’s disappointment, I take the seat between Creed and Eldon and wrap my hands around the warm mug.

“Thank you,” I breathe, my gaze traveling to Brax’s mother, who smiles back at me in response. “It feels like forever since I’ve seen you all,” I murmur before taking a sip.

“The longest period of time in my life, Dove,” Zane declares from his spot on the other side of Eldon, wedged between him and Brax.

“How did you get me here like that?” I ask, aware that we clearly have things to catch up on, but I need to understand this first.

“It was Brax’s idea,” his father explains. “Depending on how you look at it, fortunately or not, Eldon, Creed, and Zane can’t see the shadows. Just like we can’t unless we use a special apparatus that we built, but for Brax, it’s different.” He waves a hand at his son and I follow the movement with my eyes.

“Communicating with the shadows is… weird, but easy enough.” My eyes widen. Easy? How? I haven’t communicated with them at all, and I feel like I’m constantly surrounded by them. “Once I appeared here in my dream and thought about it, I created a safe zone in the yard out back, generating energy that lured them closer. Mention of a pretty pink-haired necromancer was an easy enough discussion. It seems you hold a lot of hope for more than just us, Shadow,” Brax states, making me frown in confusion.

“Wha—”

He waves his hand, interrupting my question before I can jump ahead.

“They were happy to help. Even the shadows can feel your pureness. Your strength, resilience, all of it. They know you’re not here to wield your magic to use them at your will.”

“Why would I do that?” My nose crinkles in distaste at the thought.

“Exactly. You’re the piece of the puzzle that fixes all of this, we just don’t know what that looks like or how we’re going to do it, but we’re all here together. Ready to fight. Not for the next generation or for the Elevin Realm. Not even for Silvercrest Academy. We’re all ready to fight for you.”

I gape at Eldon, his words hitting me hard in the chest. Slowly, I start to shake my head.

“He’s right, Raven. I may not know you, but I don’t have to. I can see the person you are by looking at the men around you. I’ve been warned that you refuse to be labeled as a hero, that saving the realm, or anything else, isn’t in your plan, and that’s what makes you different, not just from anyone else, but from any necromancer that has ever lived.” I rub my lips together as I stare at Brax’s mother. Her smile only widens and she stands, coming around to stand beside me as she offers me her hand. “Hi, Raven. I’m Marieta, and I pledge to help with all that I am, all that I could be, and all I wish to be.”

I peer at Brax, completely overwhelmed, and he offers a subtle nod in response. Turning back to Marieta, I place my hand in hers and a sudden golden swirl sweeps over our joined hands, dancing for the briefest moment before settling against our skin and disappearing a second later.

“What was that?”

“That was a pledged oath,” Brax’s father answers, coming to stand beside his wife. “It’s the kind of promise we give to The Monarchy, to a cause, a belief. And that’s what you are to us, Raven. Belief. Hope.” I don’t know how to respond as he offers his hand to me. “Hi, Raven. I’m Peta, and I pledge to help with all that I am, all that I could be, and all I wish to be.”

What is actually happening right now?

I place my hand in his and the same thing happens.

“Why?” I manage to croak. “What don’t I know that you guys seem to?”

“What makes you think that’s the case?” Creed asks, and I cock a brow at him.

“I just show up here and suddenly I’m learning about pledged oaths? To me? I don’t understand why, and I’m not saying that because I’m looking for someone to shower me with praise, quite the opposite.”

Brax grins. Actually fucking grins. Marieta circles around the table to come to a stop behind him, gently placing her hand on his shoulder. “Stop looking so smug, Son. It suits you far too well.”

“What does that mean?”

Marieta winks at me as Peta chuckles, taking his seat casually like the pair of them haven’t just pledged themselves to me. What the fuck?

“It means my son has been here for a little over an hour and has already taken charge of everything. Right down to predicting how you would respond to the pledged oaths,” she explains with a chuckle.

I glare at him but he doesn’t falter under my stare. I exhale, a calmness settling over me as I look around the table. “Has Brax got everyone up to date on our end?” I ask, redirecting the conversation, and Marieta sinks her teeth into her bottom lip, trying and failing to stifle her chuckle.

I look at Eldon and Zane, helplessly confused, but they only smirk back at me too. “We said you would immediately try to distract the conversation away from yourself too.”

Fuckers.

Of course they did.

Rolling my eyes, I turn my attention to Peta, hoping someone here is focused on something else. “Help me out, Peta. What do I need to know?”

“What don’t you need to know would probably be the easier question, but that’s not useful, is it?” He winks, leaving me no wiser.

Despite the stress and anxiety that insists on following me everywhere right now, I can’t help but appreciate the moment. Surrounded by Eldon, Creed, Zane, and Brax, with his parents casting a calming environment around us with their mere presence, is something to appreciate. Especially when we don’t know how many more moments we may get like this going forward.

Gulping down the remainder of my hot cocoa, I lean back in my seat, letting the tension ease from my shoulders.

“Is there anything we can be doing from the other side?” I ask. “I want us all together as soon as possible. Whatever it takes, I don’t care. I can’t continue like this.” Creed’s hand falls to my lap, squeezing in comfort as Eldon’s arm drapes over the back of my chair.

“We need you to investigate some things.”

My eyebrows rise to my hairline. “More things to investigate?”

Creed nods, his face falling solemn. “Erikel wasn’t a skinwalker, Raven. Burton was, or is. I don’t know.” I freeze, letting his words settle in my mind as I try and fail to process them. “I know it sounds insane, but that’s why we need to figure it out.” My gaze travels to Brax and I can see in his eyes that they’ve already told him this, but it doesn’t stop the furrow between his brows from growing stronger.

“What are you dealing with out there, Raven? Is there anything we can help with?” Marieta asks. “Our main focus right now is trying to communicate with the shadows in your absence, to convince them to help us. Now they’ll acknowledge our pledged oath to you, so we may see more assistance from them. I can’t explain how much that helps us, but I meant the pledge wholeheartedly. If there’s anything I can offer, just ask.”

Taking a deep breath, I think about all of the thoughts keeping me up at night, tearing them apart and piecing them back together.

“Are you able to help with wards or familiars? I think I’m going to need to get to Ari to be able to stabilize things on the other side. I don’t know how much longer we’ll be able to hide the fact that the guys are here. Erikel is going insane over the Potens Ruby and the guys’ disappearance. I need to strengthen my defenses, and Ari is my key to that. I feel it.”

“Ari?”

“He’s her familiar, a griffin,” Brax explains, and both Marieta and Peta stare at me with wide eyes.

“A griffin as a familiar is a true blessing, Raven.” Their words warm my heart but don’t ease the growing pain at the distance I’m feeling from him. “I think I can help with the wards. Come.”