21. Arthur

21

ARTHUR

I spent three days wallowing in the misery I’d created for myself. Three days of beating myself up and hiding away in my rooms. I heard Scott, Hannah, and Ryland after I left upon learning Hannah was Henry’s daughter. It almost broke me to hear her pleasure and not be a part of it, but I held my ground.

What would Henry think of us? The question hounded me day and night. If he’d known my feelings for her, would he demand I walk away? Guilt locked me in a prison of my own making. I had powerful feelings for my late best friend’s daughter. Did that excuse the way I left things with Hannah? The devastation I’d seen on her face combated with my guilt.

“It’s not her fault,” I said aloud as I swept a hand across my desk, scattering pens and paper onto the floor. None of this was Hannah’s fault and I should have made that clear. “I have to make it right.” Standing, I checked my watch then grabbed my keys. By the time I pulled into her driveway, I calculated she’d had enough time to unpack from the day and be settling in for the night. My blood beat a fiery tempo in my veins as I walked up the cracked sidewalk and knocked on the scratched and dented front door.

She opened it seconds later, peering through a narrow crack between the door and the frame. Her eyes widened. “Arthur?” It was nothing more than a breathless and soundless movement of her mouth, but I felt it vibrate in my bones.

“Hello, Hannah.” I eased my hands into my pockets to keep them from reaching for her. “Can I come inside?”

She released the door, stepping back at the same time. “Of course.”

It was almost too easy to walk past her and cross to the couch. I needed to sit down for what I was about to say.

Liddy bounded around the corner and spotted me, bolting over with a loud squeal. “Arthur!” She hugged me tight and smacked a kiss to my cheek. “Hi.”

“Hello, Liddy.” I smiled so wide my cheeks ached. “It’s good to see you.”

“I’m playing. Will you stay?” She climbed from my lap and clasped her hands together beneath her chin. “Please?”

I waited for the go ahead from Hannah which came with a miniscule nod before I answered. “I’ll be here for a while.”

“Yay!” She tore from the room. Seconds later, her voice carried back into the living room as she announced to her toys that I’d come to stay.

Hannah winced and crossed her arms while lowering herself to the other end of the sofa. “Sorry. She’s excited to see you.”

“I’ve missed her. Both of you,” I corrected quickly. “I’m sorry for my actions, Hannah. You did not deserve my pompousness.”

One side of her mouth hitched up. “I’d like to say it’s okay, but you hurt me, Arthur.”

“I know.” I bowed my head into my chest. I let it stay there for a heartbeat before I forced it up and met the censure of her gaze. “I was thinking about Henry and what he would want for you.”

“Dad would want me to be happy. That’s what good parents want for their kids. For them to be safe and happy.” She shrugged. “You, Ryland, and Scott make me happy. Why does being Henry’s daughter change that?”

“Because I was ashamed of myself though there was nothing wrong with what we did.” I held up a hand when I caught the look flashing in her eyes. “I have no regrets about that.”

“No?” She sounded uncertain, and the way her eyes dimmed choked the life out of me. “Can you look me in the eye and say you would do it all again if you’d known from the beginning?”

Denial rushed through me. I hesitated before saying anything. “I expected you’d ask me that. If I’d known from the beginning, I would have fought my feelings out of respect for Henry.”

“Even knowing that what we had together made me happier than I’ve been in my entire life?”

Her words were a challenge.

I glimpsed at the kitchen over her shoulder, the peeling laminate and cabinet doors hanging sideways. She lived in a different world than me, a world that Henry would’ve despised. His daughter deserved better than this. Shame threatened to choke me. “I would not have assumed that we could make you happy.”

“Dad always told me that happiness trumps almost everything else.” She scooted closer. “Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve felt genuine happiness? I’ve lived on the edge of destitution for years. I have a daughter I can barely keep clothed and fed. I eat stress for breakfast and have nightmares of living on the streets. Those few months with you are the safest I’ve felt since Dad died.” Warm fingers grasped mine. When had I taken my hands from my pockets? “I knew I’d end up back here, Arthur. That’s how life has always been for me. I don’t begrudge you for sleeping with me, and it was my choice to leave.”

“But we’d asked you to stay.” I argued back almost against my will. “We wanted you there, and you let a misunderstanding take you away from us.”

“True. And you let your worries about what a dead man would think keep you from taking what I offered after that misunderstanding was dealt with.” The absolute frigidness in her tone stopped me cold. “Dad’s dead, Arthur. I hate saying that. I’ve hated it since the second he stopped breathing. But I refuse to give up what little happiness I’ve found because of it. Can you say the same?”

She made a damned good compelling argument. Was I going to let it hold me back? Henry wasn’t here to ask for his blessing. All I had were my memories of him. “He used to tell us that he’d give anything to have the happiness he felt with your mom back.”

“I’d want Liddy to grab her happiness with both hands and run with it. No matter how I felt about the situation. As long as she was safe and happy, I’d find a way to accept it.” Hannah squeezed and released my fingers.

“His version of what’s best for you wasn’t this.” I met her gaze and brushed a curl of hair from her cheek.

“You keep saying that” she whispered. “I think you’re trying to convince yourself of that more than me. It’s not going to work, Arthur. My version of happiness includes you, if you’re willing.”

I’d come here to talk to her and see where we stood. She’d made herself clear as glass. Damn it all to fucking hell, I wanted her. I wanted what we’d found over the summer.

“Mama?” Liddy reappeared in the hallway. “I’m tired.”

“Okay, sweetie.” Hannah ran her finger along my inner forearm. “Stay a while longer? I’ll be back after I put her to bed.”

“I want Arthur to tuck me in.” Liddy hugged her stuffed hippo beneath her chin and gave me a wide-eyed, hopeful look.

“I’d love to, if you have no objections.” I waited for yet another approving nod from Hannah before I stood and followed Liddy into her room.

She climbed into her bed and snuggled down beneath the covers. “Will you be here in the morning?”

“I’m not sure, Liddy.” I had no idea how the next hour would go, much less the rest of the night.

Liddy sighed, her eyes closing. “I like when you’re with Mama. She smiles more. Please stay.”

I smoothed her soft hair from her forehead and kissed her temple. “I’ll try.” I’d never had an emotion hit me quite like the plea in Liddy’s voice. It made me realize Hannah had a point. I’d agree to anything if it made Liddy happy. Being a parent meant sacrificing our own happiness when required to give our children what they needed.

Loving Hannah was no sacrifice. It was an honor to Henry’s memory to love and appreciate the wonderful, beautiful woman she’d become. It was time to stop pushing her away because of some unfounded fear that Henry might have considered us too old or that we were wrong for sharing Hannah.

I kissed Liddy’s forehead once again as her breathing slowed. Quietly, I rose from the bed. I stood and turned, finding Hannah standing in the doorway watching me with a quiet smile.

She held out a hand toward me, and I latched onto her fingers like a drowning man would a life preserver. One step into the hallway and out of Liddy’s sight if she woke, I brought her around to face me. “You’re right. I was an asshole and a bastard for all those things I said to you.”

Her lips were on mine almost before I finished talking. They said she forgave me without the need for words. Hunger ripped through me. I pulled her tight to my chest and held on as emotions threatened to tear me apart.

Fingertips danced beneath my shirt and dug into my spine. Hannah broke the kiss. “Is this what you want?”

“That’s my line.” I kissed her again as she walked us down the hall and into another room.

She released me long enough to flip the lock. “Liddy knows to knock if she needs me, but I doubt she’ll wake. Still, we need to be quiet.”

It was all the encouragement I needed to reel her back into my chest and kiss her until we were both breathless. The world turned into a riot of feelings. I worked my fingers beneath the hem of her shirt and brought it up over her head. She planted both hands on my chest, stilling me when I reached for the buttons on mine. “Let me.” Her fingers deftly worked, pushing my shirt aside within seconds.

I swept her into my arms and carried her to the bed, laying her in the middle of the soft blanket and climbing in beside her. “Let me treat you the way you deserve.” I tugged her pants down while she worked the button and zipper on mine. We turned clumsy with frantic need, knocking elbows and sharing breaths as desire turned the air thick and hot.

Once we were finally free of our clothing, Hannah threw her leg over my hip and cradled me between her thighs. Slick heat waited to welcome me, but I held back and kissed the side of her neck before lowering my lips to her breast and taking a nipple into my mouth. She wrapped a hand around my cock and nudged me closer. “Arthur.” My name floated in the air, her desire rising as she twisted beneath me. The urge to hurry fell away. This was not the time for quick sex. I savored the moment, capturing every sigh and groan as mementos to hoard for later.

Her thumb flicked over the head of my cock, and I bit her nipple in response, causing a sharp gasp and a hard tug on my shaft. “I want you inside me.”

“I will be.” I raised my head to look at her. My weight buried her in the bed, my elbows on either side of her face, her hair splayed in every direction. “I’m going to make sure you enjoy every second of this so that you never question whether or not I mean it when I say you are the best thing that has ever happened to me.” Outside of my daughter, of course, but that didn’t need to be said.

It was as close to telling her that I loved her as I was going to get in the moment.

Hannah lifted her head and kissed me with a slow, sensual heat that urged me to finally enter her. Her knees framed my hips and pulled me in closer. I lost myself in her embrace, in her warmth, but managed to take my time, stroking slow and deep. She met my thrusts, lifting her hips to accept me and gripping my ass to lock us together.

I put all my weight into my palms and watched her face as the pleasure built. There was no ebb and flow, only a constant need for more.

Hannah ran her hands up my ribs and over my chest. “I feel you everywhere.” She widened her hips the slightest bit and rolled them toward me. “It’s never been like this, Arthur. Never. I can’t hold on.”

“Let go.” I brushed my thumb over her cheek. “Let it all go, Hannah.” Pleasure spiked, my cock swelling tight as a drum when she climaxed around me. A vein stood out in her neck and she threw her head forward, biting my shoulder to stop the scream racking her body. I held on through her orgasm, my thrusts keeping her pleasure peaked on the cusp of another wave. When I pulled out to the tip and slid back in with a slow precision, she let out a strangled moan.

“Do it again,” she whispered.

I did. Again and again until every nerve in my body screamed for release and she panted her desperation in my ear. We soared together, our bodies matched in every way as I pumped into her. I’d never given her this much of my heart, my devotion. I’d had sex with her, but we’d never made love, not like this. I’d given her all of me, heart, soul, mind, and body. She owned me now, owned every beat of my heart.