Chapter 21

Preston

My eyes glaze over as I stare at the computer screen. I’m trying to schedule the next month’s Host Club pairings, but my mind keeps drifting to not only one person but two.

The two people who fill my every fucking thought until I feel like a madman.

I fucked up so bad, and I don’t know if I can fix it. Maybe I shouldn’t fix it, maybe them hating me would be better.

God, I sound like a fucking pussy. Pity party for one over here.

What I need to do is grow the fuck up and make some changes. But it’s not that easy. It’s never that fucking easy.

Because of my mess up with Declan, I’ve resorted to going back to sleeping at the club. It feels wrong, laying there in bed knowing people all around me are fucking, while I’m alone, hating myself.

I don’t know who I am anymore, and I’m fucking terrified. I know I’m not alone, but I don’t know how to ask for help. So I just keep fucking things up, using my stupid mouth to mask my scrambled mind.

The sound of Declan’s voice has me perking up. My heart races as it gets closer, followed by Grayson.

Looking down at my watch, I grumble when I see the time. It’s lunch. How was last period so damn slow, yet feels like it went by quickly.

“There's the bossman,” Grayson cheers, a bright grin on his face as he, Collin, and Declan turn the corner into my little office nook. I’m still pissed at the fucker for setting it up for me to catch Declan buried deep inside Sadie.

It was one of the hottest things I’ve ever fucking seen, something that replays in my mind daily. Mostly when my hand is wrapped around my cock.

There’s also an immense amount of jealousy. Not because of the two of them being together, but because I wanted to be there too.

“What has you so chipper?” I grumble, cocking a brow as I lean back in the chair.

My eyes drift over to Declan. He’s looking anywhere but at me. I haven’t talked to him since that night, nor has he responded to any of my texts, and I’ve only seen him while he’s with clients.

He hates me, and it feels like a part of me is dying inside. All of these new emotions are starting to feel like I’m being suffocated. The perk of having your walls up, choosing to hate everything, and being angry at the world is that you don’t feel the things that could lead to devastation and heartbreak.

Like I’m one to talk, I seem to be the one causing people pain in this situation. Fuck! Why can’t anything in my damn life be easy for once?

“What’s there not to be happy about? I got my girl living just down the hall, meaning that mornings have never been so rewarding.” He grins wickedly.

“Yeah, we get it. You’re fucking your stepsister and can do it whenever you want because she lives with you. Rub it in more for the ones who can hardly fucking see her now.” Collin glares at Grayson.

“Green isn’t a good color on you, Collin,” Grayson taunts with a smug smirk.

“You little–” Collin growls before Declan steps in between them.

“Can we not do this right now?” he mutters, glaring at the two of them. “I need to talk to you,” he says, then looks at me for the briefest of moments. “All of you.”

“Ohhh, this sounds serious.” Grayson’s brows raise. “What’s up, Dec?”

“As of today, right now, at this moment, I’m quitting the Host Club,” he announces, licking his lips as his eyes dart between the three of us, waiting for our reaction. I’m not surprised about it. He’s been booking less and less clients for a while now. He already made it known he was leaving at some point, he and Grayson both.

“Alright.” Collin nods. “Yeah, not really surprised.”

“Same,” Grayson adds, taking a seat on the arm of the couch. “But why today of all days? Any reason, or are you just done?”

“I talked to my parents last night and told them I was breaking off my engagement with Mia. That I was in love with Sadie, and I wanted to see where things went between the two of us.” He swallows hard. A part of me feels jealous of him, that he was able to just have that conversation and make that choice for himself.

“How did they take it?” I find myself asking.

His eyes dart over to mine, holding my stare for a moment. Fuck, he’s so damn sexy. “Surprisingly well.” He pulls his attention from me. “Mia’s parents... not so much,” he says guiltily, scratching the back of his head. “But it’s done. I’m single. And I’m free to be with Sadie.” He looks around us. “Out in the open.”

“What are you hinting at, Harris?” Grayson crosses his arms with a cocked brow.

“He wants to date Sadie. Out in the open, dumb-ass,” I mutter, earning the finger from Grayson and a bored look.

“What I’m asking is... if you two would be alright with me making things official with Sadie... to the public.” Them two... because I don’t count in this situation. I know it’s my own doing, but I can’t help feeling hurt. I don’t deserve to feel hurt. “I want to be more open about my relationship with Sadie. She doesn’t deserve to be sneaking around all the time. She’s been having a hard time dealing with how things have been in our relationship. She can’t kiss us when she wants to or hold our hands. She’s always worried if she‘s too close or if people are going to start talking. She should be shown off, not hidden away. It would be just for now. Until you two are able to be with her openly, too. I promise not to go overboard with things. I won’t be all over her and will be mindful, so no one feels jealous or left out.”

Grayson and Collin take a moment to think. They look at one another, raising a brow before nodding. “As much as we wish we could be with Sadie the way she deserves, it’s not possible. I think having at least one of us being a proper boyfriend to her is the least she deserves. So, I’m good with it.”

“Me too,” Grayson agrees. “I mean, not much is going to change. I’m still going to flirt with her, even if she is your girl.” Grayson grins.

The smile that spreads on Declan’s lips could be criminal. “Really?” he asks, his voice filling with excitement. It’s so damn cute. Fuck. How did I not realize I’m a goner for this guy?

The three of them talk for a little while longer, leaving me out of the conversation.

When he leaves, my eyes follow him, and it takes everything in me not to go after him.

Grayson follows not long after, leaving Collin and I alone together.

“How are you doing?” Collin asks, perching his ass on the edge of my desk.

“Just fucking peachy. You?” I snap.

He chuckles. “I see the asshole is still alive and well.” He sighs, shaking his head. “Wanna tell me why your face looks like it’s in a bruised-banana-look-alike contest?”

“What?” I frown. Is he on drugs?

“Your face. It’s all yellow and brown.” He waves his hand in an up-and-down motion over my face.

“Oh,” I mutter. “No. I don’t want to tell you.”

“Too bad, I already heard about the fight between you and Declan. What I don’t know is what it was about. What the hell did you do that made poor, sweet Declan feel the need to kick your ass? That man is head over heels for you.”

I look around, the feeling of a hand wrapping around my heart and giving it a squeeze, making me grimace.

“Oh shit,” he sighs. “Did you turn him down?”

“I don’t want to fucking talk about it,” I snap, getting to my feet. “Let’s talk about something more important, like the fact that our deranged father is out to get Sadie. And has started using her against me to get what he wants.”

“And you’ve been doing it?” he asks.

“Of course!" I shout in his face. “I don’t want anything bad to happen to Sadie, just as much as you don’t.”

He nods slowly. “Well, hopefully, we’re not going to have to worry about him much longer.”

“How is that going?”

“Had a talk with Rosie. She’s going to talk to her people, put in a word with her mom.”

“The crazy one?” I frown.

“No, the nice one who knows how to hack computers.”

“Huh.”

“Anyways, she’s doing what she can and will let me know what she finds.”

“She needs to work faster,” I grumble, sitting back down.

“Yes, why don’t you tell the crazy little blonde to hurry and see how long you get to keep your dick?” he challenges.

“Whatever.” He doesn’t get it. It’s not just Sadie’s safety we’re worrying about. He has nothing to sacrifice. I have to give up everything. He doesn’t have to be around a woman who repulses him. Or deal with the wrath of the monster we’re trying to get rid of. I do. I always fucking do. Because he’s the lucky one who has a mom who's a saint. How she could ever have been with my father, I don't know. But I’m glad she got out. Not everyone is that lucky. I’m sure if my father had more power in that relationship, things would have ended up completely different.

“She’s not the only one I’ve reached out to for help. I have an old buddy I went to school with. He’s a part of the Princes of Anarchy MC. They’ve done business with our father, and in good old true fashion, Dad fucked them over big time. My buddy didn’t tell me how, but he did say that they would be willing to work together on bringing him down. Once I get more information, we'll have a better idea on how to move things along.”

“It’s taking forever, Collin.”

“It’s only been a few weeks. Yes, we might have money, and I’m sure if it was just a regular person in society, we would be able to wave our money around and get our answers, but you damn well know in this situation, it doesn’t work like that.”

My jaw ticks because I know he’s right.

He sighs, placing his hand on my shoulder. “Soon. Soon we will be rid of him and be free to be able to live our lives the way we want.”

“And what if we don’t find something to use against him? Or if we do, and it backfires?”

He looks me dead in the eye and declares, “Then we kill him.”