Chapter Three 570

Chapter Three

“Fuck off.” I wake to a knock on the door, wanting nothing more than to ignore it, but I know I can’t.

“Cal?” His side of the bed is cold, and I sit up, suddenly more worried about him. I pull on a pair of shorts and one of Cal’s white under-tanks, forgoing a bra and panties. Fuck it, I’m on vacation for the next week. Another knock at the door reminds me that there is an asshole on my porch at ungodly a.m. Oh wait, it’s noon. Still though. Fuck off.

“Calden?” I call out, dragging my dead ass to the front door to stab whoever keeps fucking knocking. “Cal? Guess I’ll handle this shit then.”

“What?” I yank the door open with a pissed-off huff. “Aaron? What the actual fuck are you doing here?”

“I –” He looks genuinely startled. “I – did I wake you? Alara, it’s, like –” He takes out his phone and adds, “Noon.”

“Cool. Did you come all the way over here to let me know what time it is, or…” I trail off, looking at him like he’s a total fucking douche. It’s too early for maybes. He woke me up, so today he’s a douche.

“No.” He looks me up and down but shakes his head and then meets my eyes. Is this guy attempting to respect me? Hard pass. “Honestly, Alara, I wanted to come over here and apologize. I think we started out on the wrong foot. And I wanted to see if you would agree to a do-over.”

“I’ve known you since kindergarten, Aaron,” I deadpan. Is this guy a sociopath? Who does this kind of shit out of the blue? Guests are by appointment only, my insides feel like TV static and I want to peel off my own skin just to make it fit properly.

“I know that. I just –” He rubs the back of his neck, looking as genuinely uncomfortable as I feel inside. “Can I be completely honest with you?”

“Because everything else you’ve ever said to me is bullshit?” I snort, motioning to a couple of chairs on the porch. If I don’t get off my feet, I may run back inside. “Sit. You can say what you need to say in order for you to get the fuck off of my porch, but I need to close the door before you wake my father.”

“How is your father, by the way?” He sits in the lower of the two chairs, facing the street, but keeps his eyes on me. “I haven’t seen him out in town in a while.”

“He’s fine.” I press my lips together tightly as I turn the knob and pull the door closed, taking a deep breath before walking over and dropping into one of the two remaining seats .

“Remember when he coached our soccer team?” He chuckles. “My dad swore up and down he didn’t even know the rules.”

“Fuck off. It’s not like anyone else was fucking volunteering. This is the kind of shit that –”

“Whoa.” He holds up both hands. “I didn’t mean it as an insult. Honestly, I didn’t. The guys and I talk about it from time to time, especially after a really rough day with Coach. Your dad was a blast, and it didn’t hurt that his technique drove everyone else's parents insane. Especially when he threw out the planner the PTA harpies put together for him.” He clears his throat and purses his lips the way my father used to when he was trying to get a rile out of other parents. “They are children with a ball and a net in an open field, and your rules are killing the fun. Fun killers.”

“Fun killers.” I smirk. “God, he hates literally every other parent at the school. The man sure can hold a grudge. It’s impressive, really.”

“He’s always been kind to me.” He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Calden and I have been in more fist fights than we have conversations, but your dad never held it against me. ”

“Yeah, well, sometimes words aren’t enough.” I sigh, looking up and down the street for Cal. “And if Cal sees you here, he won’t even consider using his words. So while this trip down memory lane has been… weird as fuck… get to your point.”

“You never have been one for pleasantries and small talk, have you?” He offers me a small smile, shaking his head. “I’m sorry, Alara. We used to be friends. Do you remember?”

“What can I say – younger me made poor choices in the friends department?” I sneer, remembering exactly what ended our friendship. “Because I did. I should have never trusted you.”

“You’re right.” He moves like he’s going to take my hand in his but doesn’t, and it’s a good thing he didn’t touch me. I’m not sure our local ER has the skills necessary to remove his entire arm from his ass and reattach it.

“Okay, this is weird.” I study him for a moment. He’s nervous but relaxed, and it’s making me more uncomfortable than I like to admit. “You’re being weird, and it’s freaking me out. Are you on drugs? Did someone die? Am I… am I being recorded? What’s your MO, Aaron? ”

“My MO?” He laughs. The audacity. The look on my face tells him I’m not joking, and the smile falls from his face. “That’s fair, actually. I’m sorry.”

“You said that already.” I lift my right hand to my left collarbone and tap my index finger against the bone.

“I didn’t mean to make you anxious.” He purses his lips, looking at the cluster of slight bruises along my collarbone. He drags his hand through his hair, shifting a little in his seat. “I called my mother last night.”

“Shit.” I can feel my eyes widen in surprise. “How long has it been?”

“Before last night?” He exhales shakily. “Three years.”

“Okay, and?” I try to wait patiently for him to continue, but it’s a struggle. I hate that I want to hear about her. She’s the reason Calden and I don’t have mothers. Or aunts. She tried to help us, but we didn’t need her help and she used Aaron to do that.

“On the way home from school, after the fight, my dad went on and on about –” he hesitates.

“Don’t sugarcoat it for me now. You sure as hell don’t any other time,” I scoff .

“Yeah.” He looks on the verge of tears, and I hope to hell he doesn’t think I’m going to wipe them away and kiss it better. I would sooner set myself on fire. “Alara, when my mother left, my father blamed yours. I was young, and overnight, my dad went from a typical father to an angry, broken man.”

“All three of us lost mothers that night, Aaron. What’s your point?”

“I was just a scared little boy, Alara. And my father’s anger spilled into every room in our home. I didn’t understand what was happening, and I trusted his words. He blamed your family, and I believed him.”

“Look, I don’t need an apology for what happened back then.” I fight the urge to tap harder against my collarbone, not wanting to give away how uncomfortable his presence is making me. How much I want to understand why he told her about us. How much I want to forgive him. “We were all kids, and our parents did what humans have always done. They let their emotions fuck shit up.”

“They did, but I don’t want to be that man anymore.” I’m genuinely impressed by his admission. “That’s why I called her. What Calden said in the office the other day stuck with me. I couldn’t get it out of my head on the way home, and the more I tried to deny it, the more I thought about my actions. I’ve been horrible to you, Alara. We were best friends, and I allowed my father’s words to take that from us. And then I weaponized them. I called my mother, not because I want to forgive her but because I need to so that I can fix myself. I’m ashamed of my behavior. And of the company I choose to keep.”

“That’s—” I hesitate, choosing my words carefully– “fucking heavy.” Nailed it.

“Is it?” He chuckles. “Can I fix this, Alara?”

“What is there to fix now, Aaron?” I hate the small seed of hope he’s planting. My family was never fully accepted in this town, but the day Aaron threw me away, we went from being a little different to total outcasts. We can’t even manage to get decent jobs here anymore. But I will not admit to Aaron how much his actions truly hurt my family. How alone we’ve been in this town filled with people.

“Us?” He fidgets with his class ring. “I’m not asking you to marry me, Alara.”

“I would hope the fuck not.” I nearly choke. Good lord, was this his mother’s advice? No wonder we’re all so fucked up. “Well then, what do you want? A clear conscience? Forgiveness? Absolution? ”

“I want you to give me a chance to do better. To fix the mess I’ve made.” He holds out his hand, and I almost fall for it.

“No.” I jump to my feet, nearly knocking over my chair. “I don’t know why you’re doing this, Aaron, but I don’t trust you. I haven’t in a long time.”

“I know.” He stands up slowly and steps back, his sneakers shuffling across the wooden slats. “My mother said you would say that. Actions caused all of this, and actions will have to fix it. Will you let me try?”

“Will I let you be a better person?” I arch a single brow.

“Yeah.” He chuckles. “Not that you have ever let me get away with being a total shit.”

“It’s my gift. What can I say?” I shrug. “I have no filter.”

“One of your gifts, but we both know you’re far more than what you show the world.” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small piece of folded paper, holding it out to me. When I don’t accept it, he places it gently on the small broken table in front of the chair I was just sitting in. “It’s my mother’s phone number. She asked me to give it to you now that you’re eighteen. Just in case. ”

“Just in case of what?” It’s a strange thing for someone you haven’t seen in ten years to say. What the hell could I possibly want from the woman who was with my mother the night she died?

“I don’t know,” He shrugs. “She wouldn’t tell me, but she said not to push either of you on it. I’m trying to respect that.”

“Look at you taking no for an answer,” I snap. “Sorry, this is going to take some getting used to.”

“You don’t have to apologize, but thank you.” The corner of his mouth tilts up slightly, and he turns to step off the porch. “I have to get to football practice before the coach adds more laps to my punishment.”

“Your punishment?” I ask.

“Our principal may be a pushover when it comes to my father, but Coach sure as shit doesn’t let me get away with anything. Especially the way I disrespected you.” He lowers his eyes, suddenly more interested in his shoes than looking me in the eye. “You never mess with a man who grew up being the older brother to six sisters. I’m pretty sure he’s going to name Calden team captain.”

“Calden doesn’t play sports.” I laugh, “Hell, Calden doesn’t play well with others in general. ”

“No, he doesn’t. But it’s obvious to everyone how much Calden loves you, and that alone is enough to earn Coach’s respect.” He reaches into his pocket, and his car starts. “Mine too.”

“Fancy car.” I snort.

“Hey now, don’t boujee shame my remote start.”

“Speaking of Calden.” I grin, spotting him coming around the corner at the end of our street. “You’ve got roughly thirty seconds before he gets here and swings on you.”

“Yeah, I’m going to hightail it to practice.” He jogs down the walk and gets into this car but rolls down the window to yell back, “I’m going to fix this, Alara, just you wait and see.”

“Uh-huh.” I roll my eyes, trying to squash the hope wanting to take root in my belly as he drives off. Aaron doesn’t speak for the entire town, and he sure as hell doesn’t know about me and Calden. There’s no hope for us in this town. Maybe there was once upon a time, but this isn’t a fairytale, and we’re sure as shit not the heroes of any story.

No sooner does Aaron turn the corner in the direction of the school than Calden slides to a stop in front of our house .

“What the fuck was he doing here?” He pants, anger radiating off him, and I grin. I fucking love it when he’s like this. “Damn it, woman, stop looking at me like that, and tell me what happened.”

“Can we talk inside?” I turn, reaching for the knob.

“Nice try.” He clears the distance between us and takes my hand, tugging me over to the chairs Aaron and I were just sitting in. “Sit. Speak.”

“I’m not a dog, Calden.” I drop into the chair and cross my arms.

“I would fucking hope not. I’m already fucking you.” As soon as he says it, we both immediately regret his words. They hang there in the air like our burned-out Christmas lights still dangling from the awning – a memorial to normalcy yet busted beyond repair.

“Harsh, Cal.” I avoid his gaze. “He came here to apologize.”

“Well, that’s vague.” He takes off his ball cap and hangs it from the arm of his chair. “I’m sorry for what I said just now. I shouldn’t have directed my anger toward Aaron at you. ”

“It’s not okay, but I forgive you.” I chew my lip, wishing I could curl up on his lap. This is why he makes me talk out here. I can’t be trusted, and we both know it. “I get it.”

“I love you.” He lifts the plastic bag he was carrying from the porch and sets it on his lap, rummaging through its contents. “I got you something.”

“Show me!” I don’t even try to hide my excitement. I’m a whore for Cal’s treats, and I’m not even a little bit ashamed of it.

“Oh my god! It’s so cute I could fucking perish!” I squeal when he lifts the tiniest little knife I’ve ever seen from the bag and places it in my outstretched hand.

Calden sits, smiling as he watches me flip it open and closed, waiting wordlessly for me to explain what he just stumbled upon. He knows not to jump to conclusions, but I’m sure the curiosity is killing him.

“So, Aaron came to apologize for the last ten years.” I sigh, placing my tiny treasure on the table, and lift the folded piece of crumpled paper, handing it to Cal. “It’s a lot to unpack really. ”

“How long was he here?” He unfolds the paper, and his face turns red. “Did that delusional prick give you his number?”

“I wish,” I mutter and immediately realize my mistake, but it’s too late. “Fucking hell. I didn’t mean it like that, Cal.”

“Sure you didn’t.” He opens the front door just enough to grab the ball-bat my father leans against the jamb. “I’ll be back.”

He clears the porch in three steps, and I hurry to catch up with him.

“For fuck’s sake, will you hold on for a second?” Fuck this. I get a running start and jump onto his back.

“Damn it, Alara.” He stops. “Get down. I’m just going to go talk to him.”

“Uh-huh.” I don’t let go. Instead, I use the opportunity to tighten my grip. “And the bat.”

“What bat?”

“If you go to do this, you’ll go to jail. I need you to calm down and listen. I should have chosen my words better, but it’s really not as bad as you think. It’s just a lot.” I rest my chin on his shoulder. “I could do this all day, Cal. ”

“The number?” He closes his eyes and sucks in a calming breath. Like he’s steeling himself for bad news.

“His mother’s.”

“What?” He turns around to look at me. “As much as I love having you on top of me, this isn’t that. Will you please get down?”

“Will you listen to me before you and your bat talk to Aaron?” I whisper in his ear.

“Yes,” He crouches, letting me get down without twisting or breaking something. “But will you please cut the theatrics this time and just tell me what happened?”

“Just take all the fun out of it, will ya?” I tease, bumping him with my shoulder. “Okay, I’ll start at the beginning.”