Chapter 37

Chapter Thirty-Seven

T he whole day and a half of traveling by carriage should have been easy for Alex. It wasn't difficult by any means, as they nearly mastered the art of travel by carriage from all their trips and change of plans. And after spending so much time together, he and his wife should have had an abundance to discuss, or at least felt at ease with each other. But instead, the small, shared space felt heavy now. He had tried to be reassuring for her sake, though his internal worries were eating him alive.

She was right to be concerned about her revelation, but now he had even more weighing on him. Any hopes he had for his sister might slip right out of his grasp should the word of his wife's parentage get out. He needed to fight for any chance to speak with Mr. Grisham, to secure a good match for his sister once and for all.

But almost more than that, he wanted his wife steady and happy again. They were so close to finding some semblance of stability in their marriage, so close to reaching the goal of actually being a husband and wife, but for this one last, great challenge that he could not have anticipated. And he wanted to help her overcome it, prove that he was truly invested in this marriage, dedicated to her.

It was raining when they returned to London, which was just his luck. He needed to be out making social calls, but the weather was determined to defeat him.

"I will change clothes and go to visit the duke and duchess," Emily said the moment they crossed into the front foyer.

"Are you certain?" Alex asked. "In the rain?"

But before she could insist, Radcliff stepped forward. "I'm afraid the Duke and Duchess of Norland are not at home."

Alex turned. "What?"

"They went home to Wynnwood Park, and I believe will return by the end of the week. They stopped by to ask when you might return before they left."

Of course they did. Just when they might be needed the most, they disappeared.

"And a good deal of post has arrived in your absence," the butler went on, "but one in particular is the dinner party invitation hosted by Lady Hartfield. The servant who delivered it said she was adamant about your attendance. And the duke and duchess said they would be present as well."

Alex winced as he accepted the letter. In loopy whimsical handwriting, the noblewoman had requested their company, and almost demanded a confirmation.

"When is it?" Emily asked, leaning over his arm.

"On Friday," he said with a sigh. "I'm certain Lady Hartfield only wants to impose her demands since she is the one who discovered us and make us attend to judge how we fare."

Emily looked up at him, no doubt wondering the same question bounding around in his head. And how did they fare?

"Very well. We will make ready for Friday, then." She curtsied and took her leave, heading for the stairs.

"Emily," Alex said, still feeling unsettled with where they stood. "I only want to remind you of what I said before. You need not go if you do not wish to."

She paused on her step, shaking her head. "It will be no great trouble."

Then she disappeared the rest of the way, leaving Alex alone in the entryway, hoping and praying that she was right.

When Alex woke the next morning, he had a specific goal in mind. He knew Mr. Grisham to be a frequent visitor of the gentleman's club, White's. Alex did not frequent any club, as it was not an atmosphere or company he much enjoyed, especially after his last run-in with an abundance of alcohol. But he would have to go today.

However, all Alex's plans changed when he realized he was not alone in his bed. In fact, Alex held his breath, refusing to move when he realized Emily was tucked under his blanket, snuggled close to his arm and fast asleep beside him.

Wracking his thoughts, Alex tried to remember the night before. They had both been exhausted from their travels and had taken meals in their rooms. Alex specifically remembered dousing his candle before the sun had fully set as drowsiness had come over him. He had no memory since he closed his eyes of anything he had said or done, let alone if anyone had addressed him.

Instead of fretting over it, Alex relaxed against his pillow and took in the view. She had told him she would never use that door that separated their rooms. What had brought her to him now? Had she been frightened by some storm? Merely missed his company? It did not matter, for he would always welcome his wife to his bed whenever she wished. Her eyes calmed in sleep, her parted lips taking even breaths, her simple beauty seeping in and wrapping a firm hold around his heart.

Now more than ever, he needed to find a solution that would make Emily his wife for good. No more tumultuous setbacks, no more societal interference.

The clock struck the hour, and her eyes burst open. She met his gaze, her eyes growing wide.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Alex," she said in a rush, pulling the blanket up to her neck.

"What have you to apologize for?" he asked in a gentle chuckle.

"I… I… I have to go." She immediately tore from the bed, reaching for her robe draped over his chair.

"Wait!" Alex nearly threw himself across the bed to catch her hand, and she looked back at him, a sliver of sunlight cutting across her face from the window. With brows furrowed and lip caught in her teeth, she looked terrified.

"I'm not angry with you, only curious how you ended up in my bed."

She took a deep breath before responding, "I think… I must have grown accustomed to sleeping by your side. While you were sick, and all our shared beds in Brighton and Bath…" Her voice trailed off, and his heart burned with the knowledge that she had finally grown comfortable with him.

"Never apologize for that, Emily."

But the look in her eyes still bore his same concerns, the final obstacle that stood between them, and he understood her desire to flee.

He released her hand, for the only way they could be together was if he found a way to resolve their distance for good.

She disappeared into her room, and Alex sighed, collapsing on his bed. Then he rang for his valet to help him dress. He had work to do.

He was nearly ready for a visit to White's, except that he couldn't find his gloves. Somewhere along his travels, between Markham Estate and Brighton and Bath, it seemed he must have lost his good pair of gloves. It wasn't his valet's fault, for the way things had been hurried along at times, but Alex could not go present himself at White's without a decent set of gloves. It seemed such a little thing at this point, but he didn't want Mr. Grisham to find a single point of fault with him, so instead of setting out for the gentleman's club, he set out for Bond Street to buy himself a new pair.

Walking the distance would do him good, to clear his head and prepare him for the goal ahead. But the more he walked, the more he thought on the ridiculousness of his situation. His ultimate goal was noble, to secure a decent match for his sister. But the lengths he'd gone to for a secure reputation, to reestablish some semblance of honor to his family name after his father's death, what was the point of it all? To have someone in power pat him on the head and stroke his pride? He didn't need the approval of those in society, only those he cared about. Which, at this point, was a list of very few people. He didn't want false rumors spread about himself, but even then, Alex knew that he was not the person his father was, and his family knew that, which he was coming to realize was all that mattered.

Once the gloves were purchased and a delivery arranged for the following day, Alex made the trek back down the sunny street. But as he passed by the Duke of Norland's townhome on Grosvenor Square, it appeared they had returned. Two footmen were removing luggage from their traveling coach, and though Alex did not want to bother them if they had just arrived, he could at least confirm they were home.

Alex strode up to the townhouse, knocked on the door and waited. Their butler let him in and led him to the study, where Norland was seated at his desk with very tired eyes.

"Good day, Your Grace," Alex greeted him with a light bow .

"Welcome. What an unexpected surprise. I heard you were unwell?" the duke asked, extending his hand across the desk for him to sit.

Emily must have written to them. "I am much recovered, thanks to my wife." Alex knew his chances of surviving would have been sparce without her.

"I am glad to hear it. What brings you in?"

"At first, I was only passing by, and thought to inquire if you had returned from your travels. Emily has been chomping at the bit to see you both, so at least I now know her limits of not to keep her away for too long."

Norland smiled. "Yes, Isabel said the same thing. They are two peas in a pod, they are."

"We had received an invitation to Lady Hartfield's dinner party, and I wasn't sure if the two of you would be back in time."

"At the moment, I am uncertain. The duchess is under the weather, so I will not drag her back out into society just yet. I will be sure to send for Emily the moment my wife is recovered."

Alex nodded. "Understood, I will let Emily know to calm her zealousness for a time."

"Was there anything else?" Norland asked, and Alex pressed his lips together. It did not seem the time or place, but perhaps it would be his only opportunity.

"There was one thing, though I'm not certain if it should wait until Emily can be present as well." He paused, swallowing his apprehension. "She told me the truth about her parentage, and how that connects to you."

Norland blinked his tired eyes. "She did? The whole of it?"

Alex nodded.

The duke sat back in his chair with a sigh. "Please excuse my shock, only I did not expect… Emily had led me to believe she wanted some distance between the two of you."

Ah yes, the notion of living separately. "I think we've overcome most of that. We did not have the smoothest start of things as you might have guessed, but I'm hopeful we'll get to the point where that will be behind us and can focus on progressing together instead."

"Do you mean…" the duke paused, shaking his head as if to clear the collecting cobwebs. "Are you saying that you care for each other?"

Looking down with a deep sigh, Alex confessed, "I cannot speak for her, but at least on my part, I care for her very much. Maddeningly, in fact."

Norland began to laugh, but the sound was stifled in a way, making Alex look up. The duke had covered his mouth with his hand, only now there was a hard sheen in his blue eyes. Eyes that matched Emily's.

The Duke of Norland was crying.

"You will forgive me," he said, reaching for his handkerchief in his pocket. "I suppose I am weary from travel and concern for my wife, but that is not something I was expecting to hear." Alex remained silent as he wiped the tears from his face. "I have worried over Emily for many years, even in retrospect. And I agonized over insisting she marry you, questioning over and over again if I had done the right thing." The duke lifted his glossy eyes to Alex. "It was my greatest wish that Emily could somehow find a way to be happy with you, and you have given me the greatest gift of relief."

"You're welcome, I suppose," Alex said, humbled and grateful right along with him. "Only she still seems overwhelmingly concerned that the truth of her parentage will get out, and how that will possibly ruin everything. My family, your family. "

The duke nodded. "She mentioned as much to me as well."

"I think she also believed that I would be rid of her due to the impending scandal, but I would never do such a thing. My only concern is finding a match for my sister, and beyond that, I have no concerns for myself. I only want to ensure that Emily is happy, regardless of the outcome."

"That is a great relief to hear," Norland said. "Tell me what I can do to assist."

Alex shrugged. "I hadn't thought of seeking your help, but are you acquainted with Mr. William Grisham? It's his son that my sister is fond of, but I don't think his father will allow the match, seeing that he had a falling out with my father before the man died." Alex sighed. "I've been trying for months to get on the man's good side, but the last I saw of him was the night of… the night I first met Emily."

"Good heavens." The duke actually chuckled. "Well, we are not good friends, but I believe I was once introduced to the young Mr. Grisham. And though I do not seek to use my title and connections for influence beyond their formal use, when it comes to the heart of a young woman like your sister, I think I can make an exception."