Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"I think that's the last of it, my lady." Bethany finished applying the last pin and stepped back. "How does that feel?"

"Like I've had my scalp stretched within an inch of its life." Louise turned her head from one side and then the other to look at herself in the mirror. "I wish that I didn't have to have my hair done up like this. Having it down is far easier to handle."

"I know that, my lady. But we have to do what Society dictates, I'm afraid."

Louise knew that more than anyone. She had been dealing with everyone scrutinizing her for years now; she was practically a spinster. She hadn't been given the title yet, not officially, but her aunt kept saying it to her to the point it might as well be official now. Nobody was going to want to marry someone who was rapidly approaching thirty, and the days toward that moment were getting faster; Louise was sure about it.

It was scary, and Louise had never thought it would happen. She had been so excited to find someone who would love her for all of her quirks and flaws, someone who would be able to make her happy. And she had come so close. But then it never happened, and the gentlemen avoided her. Louise had never understood why because nobody would give her an answer. It was like there was some big secret that she wasn't aware of.

If that was her future, then Louise was going to have to embrace it. She couldn't stand around waiting for a marriage to happen when she had failed so much in the past. It was best just to carry on and let things come to her. There was no point chasing it.

"I'm quite looking forward to this ball." Louise turned to her maid and smiled. "The Earl of Brighton has a huge library and a lot of books on astronomy. If things get too much, I can just sneak in there and take a moment. Or two."

"Or several." Bethany laughed. "I swear you spend more time in libraries than you do at balls."

"There's only so much I can take when people are talking about my unmarried status. I can feel everyone looking at me." Louise shuddered. "It's almost like they've stuck me in a bowl, and they're all gathering around to gawk at me."

"I'm sure it's not that bad, my lady."

"It feels like that to me." Louise squeezed Bethany's hand. "I'm glad you can be there with me. You do make things far more interesting for me."

Bethany smiled.

"I appreciate that sentiment, my lady. It's not every day that someone says that about me."

"Well, you know I wouldn't lie to you."

Louise did mean it about Bethany. Her maid had been with her for the last eight years, and it had been a relief to have someone she could bond with. Normally, members of the ton weren't supposed to get close to their servants, but Louise considered Bethany like the sister she never had. An ally when Aunt Harriet was horrible toward her or ignoring her. Bethany was the person Louise turned to for advice.

She needed that voice of support when she was at her lowest. It was soothing to know that someone was on her side. Aunt Harriet had never done that for her, even when Louise had cried to her about losing another suitor who wouldn't speak to her. She simply shrugged and told her that it was life, and she needed to move on.

That had made Louise really angry that her aunt wouldn't support her. It made her want her parents back. Maybe life would have been different if her parents were still around. She couldn't believe that this would occur if her parents were still alive.

And if it did, at least they would be more supportive. Aunt Harriet didn't have a supportive bone in her body; Louise felt certain about that.

"Well, we'd better get going." Louise picked up her gloves and slipped them on. "We don't want to be late."

"You don't want to be late for once?" Bethany asked. "It would be one way to make people look at you."

Louise snorted.

"I want to get there and enjoy the moment before it gets too crowded. And, today, I don't want to be paid attention to."

"Fair enough." Bethany headed toward the door and opened it. "After you, my lady."

Louise left the room first, only to almost run into someone in the hallway. Louise jumped back before she bumped into whoever it was, only to realize that it was her aunt.

"Aunt Harriet!" Louise pressed a hand to her chest, hoping that would ease her racing heart. "You scared me!"

"Well, maybe you should look where you're going." Aunt Harriet sniffed. "I was just coming to let you know that I'm unable to chaperone you at the ball tonight, Louise."

Louise frowned.

"But I was aware that you weren't able to attend already. Which is why Bethany's coming with me."

Aunt Harriet frowned. Louise wondered if the woman had ever smiled. She was in her forties and starting to go gray, her long dark tresses kept perfectly pinned up on her head. Everything was put together, nothing out of place. If she actually smiled, then maybe she would look less severe.

Not that Louise was going to suggest it, not after the last time. She had been ten years old, and her inquisitive nature had asked her aunt why she never smiled. It had resulted in her getting scolded for asking such a personal question. Louise would never understand Aunt Harriet's animosity toward her.

Maybe she was just an unhappy woman in general.

"Do you think it's appropriate for a maid to go to an earl's ball, Louise?"

"She's been to all the others. And I'm not the only one who does it." Louise beckoned for Bethany to follow her, shutting the door to her bedchamber. "We won't be back late, Aunt Harriet, and we promise that we'll keep quiet."

"Well, there's no need for Bethany to go with you," Aunt Harriet said stiffly. "Lord Mansfield has said that he will meet you at the ball and chaperone you there."

Louise blinked.

"What are you talking about? Lord Mansfield?"

"I told him about my being unable to attend, and he said that he would look after you and make sure you didn't get into trouble."

Louise wondered what was going on. She had seen the Earl of Mansfield earlier in the day when he came around to visit Aunt Harriet, and he hadn't said a word about it to her. This was something they should have discussed. Even then, she didn't want to have her aunt's gentleman friend hanging around her and making it an uncomfortable evening. It was already going to be uncomfortable for Louise without that happening.

"But…why would you agree to it? And why would the earl offer to chaperone me?"

"Because I asked him to," Aunt Harriet snapped. "And I trust him to look out for you. I don't want you to do something stupid, Louise."

"At my age? When have I ever done something stupid?" Louise gestured at Bethany. "My maid is going to be at my side at all times, so I doubt anything embarrassing is going to happen to me."

"Well, Bethany can stay home, and you can have someone more…trustworthy…watching over you."

Louise felt Bethany stiffen beside her, and Louise certainly felt herself bristling. That was not fair on her maid at all; Bethany was certainly more trustworthy than the Earl of Mansfield. She wouldn't be fussing over her and telling Louise what she should and shouldn't be doing.

While he was a little nicer about it than her aunt, Mansfield was just as bad and frustrating. Louise wished that he would just leave her alone; it was like he was trying to be a father figure and doing a bad job of it.

"Anyway, that's what I've decided," Aunt Harriet went on, not appearing to notice the discomfort in either girl before her. "Bethany, go back to your duties. Louise, don't keep the earl waiting. He's waiting for you at the Earl of Brighton's ball."

Before anyone could respond, she walked away, her skirts swishing briskly around her legs. For someone so petite, she could cover a lot of ground fast. As she disappeared out of sight, Louise turned to Bethany.

"Go out the side door, and I'll meet you at the front."

"But Lady Holmes said…" Bethany began, but Louise cut her off.

"I don't care what my aunt said. You and I are going to the ball together. I'm not having the Earl of Mansfield hovering over me and telling me what to do. He can be as bad as her." Louise took Bethany's hand. "Come on, let's go. Before she realizes what we're doing."

There was no chance of being separated from her friend on a night like this because her aunt said so. If Louise was going to spend her evening at a ball, she was going to do it in a way that was most comfortable for her.

***

It didn't take long for Bethany to join Louise around the front of the house, and they got into the carriage. Thankfully, there was no sign of Aunt Harriet watching them from a window, so they managed to leave without being accosted. Louise settled against the cushions with a heavy sigh.

"God, why did she have to say that? I was entering this with my usual mood, and she has the ability to bring it down within seconds."

"This isn't the first time she's done this, is it?" Bethany reminded her. "She's been pulling out often and trying to get you and Lord Mansfield to interact, from what I've noticed."

"You've noticed it as well? I thought I was beginning to go mad."

"No, you're not. She seems to be adamant that you two spend time together without her around."

Louise shook her head.

"I don't like where this is going, Bethany. I am aware that Aunt Harriet and Lord Mansfield are courting, and they want to be sure that I'm supportive of it, but this is just making me uncomfortable. They should just be normal about it and not bother about me. It's not my life." She wrinkled her nose. "It's not like Aunt Harriet has wanted my opinion on anything in the past, so why should she want it now?"

"Maybe she's trying to gauge your reaction to having Lord Mansfield around once they're married," Bethany suggested. "Get you used to him being around so it's not sudden."

"Again, why bother doing it? It's like she's actually caring about my feelings for the first time in years, and that doesn't actually make me feel good."

After so many years of being in her aunt's company, Louise had learned very early on that Aunt Harriet didn't really care about what her niece wanted. She just made sure that Louise had the basic necessities for life, including food and shelter, and a governess to help teach her.

After that, it was basically the servants who had raised Louise. They gave her more love and attention than Aunt Harriet had ever done. Louise couldn't remember a time when her aunt hugged her or said she loved her. It was very demoralizing to find that out at the age of six.

Given how much Aunt Harriet hated being a guardian and had barely shown Louise any attention, it would have been natural to think she would help look for a husband for Louise so she could get rid of her quickly. But twenty years later, they were still living together.

And Louise was still having to deal with her aunt's behavior toward her. It was strange and didn't make any sense. Louise had no idea why the older woman made no move to help find her a husband to get her out of the house. This would be something that Aunt Harriet should jump at.

But she just wouldn't do anything. She let things carry on as normal. It was almost like she enjoyed having someone to torment under her roof.

Although Louise couldn't really call it torment. More like barely disguised contempt, indicating that she didn't want Louise around. And there were so many comments about Louise becoming a spinster. Almost like she was enjoying it.

The living arrangement was getting tougher lately, especially with the Earl of Mansfield being around. Soon they were going to get married and then Louise was going to be feeling more and more unwanted.

"Maybe you should ask if you can move elsewhere," Bethany suggested. "We know that she inherited a few properties from your mother's family, and they're all looked after well. I'm sure if you asked to move into one of them, she would agree to it."

"You think I haven't tried that already, Bethany? I asked her that a couple of years ago, and she turned me down flat. Said that I needed to be under her roof until I marry."

"But that's not happened, has it? In fact, I think she's the reason you might not have found a husband by now."

Louise frowned.

"What do you mean by that? You think she might have done something?"

"I don't know, but given how she behaves toward you, I wouldn't be surprised." Bethany shook her head. "I'm sure she's played a big part in making sure you're still under her thumb instead of getting rid of you as she wants."

"But why would she do that?"

"Because it's amusing? Because she wants someone to bully, and you're ideal?"

Louise sighed.

"Well, whatever the reason, it's too late now. I highly doubt that I'm going to find a husband now."

"You never know. It might happen when you least expect it." Bethany grinned. "Perhaps you'll find someone tonight, and it will just happen."

Louise scoffed.

"I highly doubt that."

"Well, what about that gentleman who helped you up in the park? You were rather flustered when you returned home."

The Earl of Chesterfield. Louise had done her best not to think about him while she was getting ready for the ball, but now he came back into her mind, and Louise couldn't stop herself thinking about him. That smile, the way he looked at her, his mere presence…it was enough to make her feel all fluttery. Louise hated having to wear a corset, sometimes it made it a struggle to breathe properly. She found it difficult to catch her breath when he looked in her direction.

"That was because I embarrassed myself, Bethany. It had nothing to do with the fact I found him attractive."

"Is it not?"

"No! Besides, he's got adult children. He's far too old for me." Louise frowned. "I think he was closer to Aunt Harriet's age."

"Which would probably make him more suitable than the Earl of Mansfield," Bethany muttered. "He's got to be at least ten years her junior. I'm surprised that anyone would find your aunt attractive."

"She's still a handsome woman, Bethany."

"But she's so prickly it's surprising that she's gotten anyone to find her romantically interesting."

Louise grimaced.

"I know we shouldn't be so rude about her, but it's easier said than done to be nice when she's so horrible in return."

"All she does is treat you horribly. She should get a taste of her own medicine." Bethany sat back. "It's probably a good thing that I'm a maid, and I have to keep my mouth shut. Otherwise she'd be getting a tongue-lashing."

Louise could see that happening as well. Bethany was one of those people who liked to be outspoken in the right situation, but she purposefully kept her mouth shut around Aunt Harriet. She didn't want to be dismissed for talking back to her mistress.

Louise wished that someone would.

They arrived at the ball, and Louise gave her cloak to the footman as she entered the house. The Countess of Brighton approached her as Louise picked up a fan from the table just inside the door.

"Lady Louise! I'm so glad you could get here."

"Lady Brighton." Louise curtsied and clasped the woman's hands. "When you invite me out, of course, I'm going to come."

The matronly woman laughed.

"Oh, you're always so courteous. Seeing your smile around the room is enough to light up the place."

"And you keep saying that every time I visit you, my lady." Louise flicked the fan open and looked at it and the pencil dangling from the end on a piece of string. "This is quite inventive, having someone write on a fan as a dance card."

"I went to a ball in Wales where it was done, and the hostess told me that it was going to be easier to keep a hold of. We all have fans, and it saves having so many separate fiddly cards dangling off our wrists."

Louise liked the idea. It did make sense, although she was going to wonder how anyone was going to remember what dance they were on; none of the individual parts had a specific dance written down.

She didn't expect it to be full for her, though. Louise couldn't remember the last time she had been asked for a dance. But she liked the fan, and she needed something to keep her hands busy, otherwise the threads on her dress were going to become frayed with her picking at them.

"I hope you'll be able to fill it tonight," Lady Brighton said with a pointed smile. "Will you promise me that, my dear?"

"I…I'll do my best," Louise murmured.

This wasn't something she could promise, though. She didn't think she wanted to have a dance, anyway. It had been so long since she danced that Louise was sure she would end up falling flat on her face.

"Splendid." The countess looked past her. "I was expecting to see your aunt, but I can't see her. Did she go and find one of her friends?"

Louise bit her lip to stop herself from commenting that her aunt didn't really have any friends. None that she saw, anyway.

"She was unable to come tonight," she said. "She wasn't feeling well and said that she would have to stay home."

Lady Brighton raised her eyebrows.

"Oh, really? She seems to be feeling unwell a lot lately. I hope it's not something that's ruining her health."

"She'll be fine. I think it's just something small that's not really leaving her alone." Louise managed to keep a smile. "She's tough, Lady Brighton. We both know she'll get through it and carry on as normal."

"I see. Well, I hope she recovers soon." Lady Brighton squeezed Louise's arm. "Enjoy the evening."

Louise nodded back, but she didn't respond. She didn't want to say that she would enjoy the evening; much as the countess' balls were magnificent, with everyone treating her like a leper because of her unmarried status at her age, Louise just didn't want to be around them. However, she liked Lady Brighton, and Louise didn't want to let her down by not saying anything bad.

Just a couple of hours, and then Louise would head home. She and Bethany always agreed on this whenever her maid was chaperoning her. They would keep an eye on the time and then slip out after two hours. Nobody would say that she didn't turn up if they did that.

As they entered the ballroom, the rumble of noise hit Louise in the face. There seemed to be so many people there, and immediately she felt like she was squeezed in. Pressing a hand against her stomach, she forced herself to breathe calmly. Panicking because of so many people in the room wasn't going to make it any better for herself.

"Watch out, my lady," Bethany murmured in her ear. "I see the earl coming toward us."

"The earl?"

It took Louise a moment to remember who she was talking about. She had thought that it was the Earl of Brighton, someone Louise would be happy to entertain. But when she looked around, it wasn't him. Sure enough, the Earl of Mansfield was walking toward them, wearing a warm, ready smile that was aimed right at Louise.

It wasn't that the earl was unattractive and behaved in an ungentlemanly manner. He was attractive, Louise had to admit that. Not very tall compared to other gentlemen, the fair-haired man was well-built and had a pair of nice-looking green eyes flecked with gold. They were certainly nice, Louise had to admit that. Aunt Harriet had certainly managed to choose very well with him, and they did seem to complement each other.

But there was something about the way he tried to be a little too gentlemanly. It was like Mansfield wanted to give her a brotherly attitude, which made Louise a little on edge. She had always been an only child, and she had no desire to adopt a brother. Besides, once Mansfield married Aunt Harriet, he would end up being her uncle by marriage. So why would he treat her in a different manner?

Aunt Harriet must have said something to him about Louise and how she supposedly didn't approve of their relationship because Louise couldn't think of another reason why he would be around her so much, trying to get her attention. He had to be trying to win her over. But it was a bit much; Louise wouldn't have cared if Aunt Harriet found love and married someone. As far as she was concerned, it had nothing to do with her. She was a grown woman, not a child. And if she didn't approve, she would find a way to disengage. That would certainly be a time to live elsewhere.

They didn't need to go through this rigmarole.

"Lady Louise." Mansfield bowed low. "It's a pleasure to see you tonight. You're looking lovely."

"Ah…Lord Mansfield." Louise cleared her throat and glanced at Bethany, who looked bemused. It seemed to be her usual expression around the earl. "How are you? I was made aware that you were going to be present. My apologies for my aunt not being here tonight."

"It's fine. She let me know the situation." Mansfield straightened up. "She told me to make sure that you were looked after tonight. I said that I would do my best."

"You didn't need to do that, my lord. I don't get into trouble, no matter what my aunt says."

"She just said that you needed someone to keep you occupied, that's all." Mansfield gestured at her fan, which was clasped in her hand. "I see you've got your dance card. Shall I mark my name down a few times now before the other gentlemen get involved?"

He started to reach for the fan, but Louise pulled it out of reach.

"That won't be necessary," she said politely. "I only took it as a courtesy. I'm not planning on dancing tonight."

"You don't want to dance?"

"No, I don't. I'd rather mingle and float from group to group."

Mansfield looked a little put out. Had he expected her to be gracious about it. But then he put his smile back on again.

"But I would like to have a dance with you, Lady Louise. Your aunt says that you're an excellent dancer."

Louise snorted.

"Aunt Harriet has never been present at any of my dance lessons, and I cannot recall the last time I did dance. I've already said that I don't want to dance tonight, so please don't try and force me, my lord. I'd be more inclined not to do it."

Mansfield faltered. Was he not expecting her to turn him down? Louise wondered if he was going to keep on insisting. Turning to Bethany, Louise nodded at her.

"Let's go and find something to drink, Bethany. It's getting really warm in here."

"I'll come with you," Mansfield said quickly, but Louise shot him a sharp look.

"That won't be necessary, my lord," she said in a clipped tone. "Bethany and I will be absolutely fine. It's not like we're going to get into trouble."

She walked away before Mansfield could respond, sure that he was going to follow her.

They had only just arrived, and already Louise was feeling stressed. That was not how she wanted the night to go at all.