Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Charles stood at the edge of the ballroom and watched as Archie and Lara conversed with their new friends. They had been side by side since they had entered the house, but they were beginning to step away from each other as they both grew a little more confident.

Charles had been worried when they entered the ball that the twins wouldn't be able to manage, and they would be hovering near him. Especially Lara, who was more nervous about it than her brother. But things seemed to be going quite well.

He was beginning to wonder what he had been so worried about. Charles didn't think that would stop, though. He was always going to worry over his babies. Despite being eighteen and both being classed as grown, they would be his babies in his eyes.

Charles felt a bit like a sap. But he was proud that they were doing well.

Mary would love to have seen this. She would be just as proud of them.

The ache made Charles rub his chest. Now was not the time to think about his wife. He didn't want to ruin the mood by thinking about the woman he loved. Those emotions would get in the way, and he needed to focus on his children.

Right now, Archie was talking to a childhood friend Charles recognized, and they were laughing over something. Lara was beginning to drift away, walking away with a beauty with pale red hair curled up on her head. They looked deep in conversation.

A movement out of the corner of his eye got Charles' attention, and he looked around, expecting to see more of the guests and some animation. But he did a double-take when he saw Lady Louise through the doorway into the dining room.

She was holding a glass and talking with a thin woman with gorgeous auburn hair. From the attire she wore, she had to be one of the servants. Was she Lady Louise's chaperone, or was she one of the Earl of Brighton's household staff?

Either way, Lady Louise was frowning and shaking her head over something. Charles watched as the maid placed a hand on Lady Louise's arm. There was some familiarity between them, so she was more than likely a personal maid.

Then they moved out of sight, and Charles wondered what they were up to. Lady Louise hadn't looked too happy about being there. Did she not like social gatherings?

"What are you looking at?"

Charles jumped. A short, plump man with a bald head had appeared at his side. A whole head shorter than Charles, he was easy to miss. Charles wouldn't have known he was there if he hadn't spoken.

The plump man chuckled at his reaction.

"My, we're jumpy tonight. You're like a bundle of nerves."

"Can you blame me? Normally, people have only one child coming out, and I've got two."

Harvey Ball, Viscount St. Simon, laughed, the sound booming around them and making people look at them.

"I don't envy you at all. I've only got one child here, and I have no idea how I would be able to cope if I had more than one to keep an eye on."

"Lucy's a good girl, so I can't see her getting herself into trouble."

"She's not really left my sister's side just yet." Harvey gestured across the room. "She's getting more confident in a social setting, but she's not ventured out just yet."

Sure enough, when Charles looked, he could see his niece hovering by her aunt, looking shy as she talked with a buxom, friendly-looking lady wearing a huge gold dress and a bit too much rouge on. She would be fine; Lucy was more timid than Lara, but she could hold her own in conversation.

It felt nice to see his family involved together. Harvey had been Charles' friend since they were at school together, and that bond had never been broken. They even married sisters and had children within months of each other.

Lucy was turning eighteen in a month, but Harvey had decided that it would do her good to have her coming out at the same time as her cousins so she had someone around her. Charles had agreed to it, although Elizabeth couldn't care less. She had simply sighed and said they could do whatever they wanted.

Charles was really confused by Elizabeth's attitude toward her daughter. Lucy wasn't a problem child. She was intelligent and talented, albeit a little quiet. But nothing untoward that would worry anyone, but Elizabeth just ignored her.

And she wouldn't tell anyone why. Harvey wasn't sure what to do about that; he loved Lucy to death and would do anything for her. The two of them were incredibly close. Charles knew that Harvey was a soft-hearted man who always championed his child. Lucy wanted for nothing when he was involved.

"I'm sure she'll be fine eventually. Where's Elizabeth?"

"She said that she was going to have a word with someone and just walked off. I honestly don't know where she is." Harvey arched an eyebrow. "I was expecting her to be hanging around you."

"Well, she hasn't. I think she's a little put out after I said that I wouldn't chaperone her here as you would be present as well." Charles frowned. "I wish you would get her talking to someone. I think the grief of losing her sister has never been properly addressed, and it's beginning to manifest in an unhealthy way."

"You mean she's being around you and your, children trying to be close to the memory of her sister?"

"I do think that is what is happening. She's always been a little…pushy around me, but even the twins are getting uncomfortable."

"I have noticed that." Harvey sighed. "I'll talk to her about it. It's been five years. Mary's not coming back anytime soon, unfortunately. Elizabeth will need to learn that she has to let go."

Charles agreed with that. He could sympathize that Elizabeth lost a sister, but she was overcompensating. Hopefully, they would be able to get her to calm down. Charles didn't think he could do it alone.

"Anyway, now that the three little ones have started entering Society themselves…" Harvey began, which made Charles chuckle.

"I can't see them as little ones anymore. Archie's taller than I am."

"You know what I mean. I'll always see them as the little ones." Harvey grinned. "Now that they're entering Society, are you going to do something about your own situation?"

"My situation?"

"You finding yourself a wife."

Charles blinked.

"Why are you asking me that? You know perfectly well that I'm not prepared to find myself someone who is willing to marry a widower with adult children."

"You'll be surprised." Harvey raised his glass. "You might even find someone willing to put up with your grumpy face."

Charles rolled his eyes. Harvey was well-meaning, even with his insults, but he wished that this wasn't the topic of conversation they had come onto. That was not what he wanted to think about, especially when Elizabeth was around. The last time someone had mentioned that Charles should look for a wife, she had become very upset. Apparently, the thought of someone moving on from her sister was too much for her.

She definitely needed to convalesce somewhere far away from London. She was getting too wrapped up in it all, and it was beginning to affect everyone around her.

"Well, thank you for your concern, Harvey, but you don't need to worry about me. I'm absolutely fine."

"Are you sure about that? Once your children start looking for potential spouses, that will mean you'll have more time for yourself." Harvey sipped his drink. "Aren't you going to be lonely?"

Charles couldn't help but laugh.

"What are you talking about, Harvey? Just because you're concerned about being alone once Lucy finds herself a husband and goes to live with him doesn't mean I'm going to be lonely as well."

"Ah." Harvey cleared his throat and looked sheepish. "I see you've sensed my trepidation."

"I'm surprised that you could feel lonely when you're married, Harvey." Charles looked around the room, catching sight of Archie again. "I thought things were all right with you and Elizabeth."

"I thought they were, too, but she's been pulling away even more lately. Ever since…" Harvey hesitated. "Ever since Mary's death, she's been doing her own thing away from us. And she's been doing it more since we made arrangements for our children to enter Society."

"Any idea why?"

"I have no idea at all. She's refusing to talk to me about it." Harvey shook his head. "I love my wife, Charles, but I wish that she wouldn't shut me out. It just feels like I'm useless."

Charles could understand. If the situation were reversed and Mary had started pulling away like this, he would have been worried and felt powerless. A marriage, even arranged, was supposed to be a partnership. His marriage to Mary had been one of love, and they were supposed to go through everything together. If she had started behaving as Elizabeth had done, Charles would have been proactive in trying to get to the bottom of it.

Grief did a lot of strange things to people, and it was enough to twist Charles into a mess of confusion. He couldn't begin to think how Harvey felt going through it with his wife.

"Maybe you should take Elizabeth away for a small holiday," he suggested. "Take her to the seaside and spend a couple of weeks relaxing. Getting away from here and from where…it happened, should do her some good."

"You think I haven't tried that, Charles? I've asked her so many times to come with me to stay by the sea or go and visit her relatives in the Lake District. I even offered to take her to Scotland, something she's wanted for years."

"And that's not come to fruition?"

Harvey shook her head.

"Not at all. She refuses to leave your side. Says that you need her at any moment."

"But I don't need someone hovering over me. I'll be absolutely fine without her around."

"I did tell her that you're not going to do anything stupid, but she's insistent." Harvey's mouth hardened into a thin line. "It's like she would prefer to be with your family than with mine."

"I'm sure that's not the case…"

"Sometimes it feels like that. It's nothing against you, Charlie, but I wish Elizabeth would talk to me. I feel like I've been married to a stranger for five years now."

Charles could understand that. Elizabeth had always had an odd relationship with Lucy, but it was only recently that it seemed to be more strained. It was like Elizabeth resented her daughter for not being a son. She wasn't a very motherly person, but she seemed to be warm around Charles.

He wished that she would switch it around to direct it at her daughter.

Casting a look around the room again, Charles saw that Archie was in full view, but there was no sign of Lara, nor of the friend she had been with. Lucy was talking to someone and looking a little more relaxed than she had been a moment ago, but Lara was gone.

Where was she?

"Can you see Lara?"

"Hmm? Lara?" Harvey frowned and looked around the room himself. "No, I can't see her. Perhaps she's in the other room."

"I'm going to find her."

"I'm sure she's fine, Charlie. She's capable of taking care of herself."

Charles snorted.

"And I'll feel better knowing where she is. Excuse me a moment, Harvey? I'll go and find her."

"Suit yourself." Harvey sighed. "But I'm sure there's nothing going on, and she's just gone to sit somewhere with her friend."

Charles hoped that was the case. But he was going to make sure that was happening before he could relax.

Having twins was like needing to be in two places at once.

***

"I am always so fascinated by how many books someone can put in one room," Bethany said as she looked around the library with wide eyes. "And how do they manage to create something so remarkable?"

"It's usually by the people who are getting the house built. They tell the architect what they want, and then it's built to their specifications." Louise ran her fingers over the spines. "The Earl and Countess of Brighton certainly have a beautiful library. I wish we had this at Aunt Harriet's house."

"The library she has is quite extensive, from what I know."

"And I've read everything in there at least three times. I could probably recite most of them by heart."

Louise did love her books, and she could devour them in one sitting. When she was little and was told that she had to be silent, she just sneaked away into the library and curled up in a corner with a good book. Or a few; Aunt Harriet was happy when she was quiet and didn't make sure that someone was watching her. Louise had actually fallen asleep in the library a few times.

She shouldn't think of those times so fondly, as that was her aunt's way of getting her out of her sight. But they were a few of her sweeter memories, and there weren't that many of them. Louise would take what she could get.

She wandered along the shelves, looking at the gorgeous spines. These books had to be first editions, or well-looked-after second editions. There were a few on the lower shelves that looked a bit more battered, the titles smudged and faded, but they were a small few. They must have been kept for some sentimental reason.

It was far more interesting being in the library than out in the ballroom, that was for certain.

"What sort of books did you read when you were younger, Bethany?" Louise asked, turning to her maid. "Did you ever read any of the books at Aunt Harriet's?"

"I can't read any of Lady Holmes' books. She would be furious and then some if I took one, and then she'd accuse me of stealing."

"That's a fair point, actually."

"Mother and Father had a few books when I was growing up. We're not very educated, but they made sure that we knew how to read and write and knew our numbers enough to get by."

Louise smiled.

"I'd say that was very well-educated, actually."

Bethany shrugged.

"I never got the proper tutelage, if that's what you mean. Unless you count my parents. Mother did the reading and writing while Father did the numbers with me and my siblings."

"Oh, of course, he works as an accountant, doesn't he?" Louise recalled Bethany telling her about that before. "You can't get any better a tutor than that."

"I suppose." Bethany gestured at the room. "I will say Mother would love to live in a place like this. Not the house, just this room. You probably wouldn't see her again, though, because she'd be too obsessed with reading to do anything else."

Louise laughed.

"I think your mother and I would get along really well."

"When they have the time to travel to London, I'll introduce you to them if you like, my lady."

"Or we can just travel to the Isle of Wight and visit them, perhaps?"

Bethany brightened up. Her family lived on the small island off Southampton, and she said that it was always hard to get off the island once you were there if you weren't wealthy enough for it. Life was nice, but you didn't earn much. Louise had never been, so maybe that would be an excuse to go once Aunt Harriet got married. Then she wouldn't have to be in the same house as her and Mansfield.

The thought of the earl lowered her mood a little. It was odd to find him so insistent on getting to know her, asking her to dance every five minutes. Louise had told him that she didn't wish to dance, but it was like he wasn't listening.

Why was he behaving like this? Louise could understand wanting to get on her good side if he was going to become a member of her family—Aunt Harriet must have told him how difficult she was—but the way he was going about it was wrong. It was just making Louise more uncomfortable.

She could only hope that he didn't treat Aunt Harriet like this, or this would be enough for Louise to be worried. While there was no love lost between them, they were still family.

Maybe she should talk to Aunt Harriet about it. She knew that the older woman didn't need her blessing, but she would make sure that her aunt was safe and well. If she was, then Louise would just put it down as being too suspicious of an overbearing earl.

"I wonder what the earl would say if he knew about your love for astronomy," Bethany said with a giggle. "Perhaps that would be enough to put him off."

Louise exchanged a grin with her.

"Perhaps we should drop it into conversation all the time and see what he says."

"And talk intensely about the books you've read. I've seen men's eyes glaze over once that happens."

"And usually in my presence." Louise sighed.

Bethany frowned.

"Not in your presence, actually. You've spoken about literature before, and they've actually looked interested. There were no false appearances there."

"But it didn't keep them around, did it? They all disappeared."

Bethany shook her head, moving from her spot near the door toward the settee. She ran her fingers absently over the scrolled wood on the back.

"I'm still confused as to what you might have done for them to avoid you like the plague. I was present at all your meetings, and there was nothing untoward. If anything, I would have said they looked interested that you were different."

"I guess we'll never know. Maybe they decided that they didn't want anything to do with me once they thought about it."

"Then why wouldn't they tell me the reason and give me some closure instead of just stopping all communication."

"Perhaps they didn't want to hurt you any further."

Louise snorted.

"That really doesn't make any sense. This is just hurting me more."

"Then I really don't know what to think. In my opinion, men are even stranger creatures than we are."

Louise couldn't agree more with that. She had come across some very strange gentlemen since she entered Society. They were even worse than the ladies who would shame her in silence for being unmarried still at the age of five-and-twenty. It was strange that being unmarried would be such a shameful thing.

No wonder there was so much pressure on people's shoulders to marry as soon as possible when a lot of the ton weren't mature enough to enter into a marriage. Louise certainly didn't think she would have entered a good marriage at eighteen, looking back at it now.

Maybe it was a good thing she didn't get married so young. But the thought of finding someone now was daunting. Especially when she knew Aunt Harriet didn't want her presence, but couldn't really get rid of her.

The image of the Earl of Chesterfield floated through her head. Louise felt as if the room had suddenly gotten a little warmer. She wondered if he would be interested in her still, or if he would avoid her suddenly like everyone else.

She wasn't about to find out, though. Given how much older he was, they would move in very different circles. Which was a shame because he was very handsome. Louise wouldn't mind being acquainted with him.

Although she would probably spend all her time staring at him like a fool and causing an embarrassment to herself as a result.

There was a ladder at the end of the bookcase, and Louise gathered her skirts before she began to climb.

"What are you doing, my lady?" Bethany asked.

"I'm just going to have a look at the book titles on the top shelf. I can't see from down here."

"But you shouldn't climb with the gown you're wearing!" Bethany came around the settee and hurried to her. "What if you get hurt?"

Louise laughed.

"You don't need to worry about me, Bethany. I've done this before." She held onto the ladder as she leaned over. "I won't be long. I'll be down before anyone sees me."

"Even so…"

Bethany broke off when the door was flung open and someone came charging in, slamming the door behind them.