Chapter 2

Chapter 2

As soon as Charles Simmons opened the door, he could hear the laughter coming from the drawing room. It sounded like Lara and Archie had already gotten back from their excursion to the respective shops to get their clothes for their first ball. It was nice to know that they were happy and looking forward to it.

Mary would be happy to see their twins entering Society for the first time. If she was here, she would be excited and thrilled over it. This was something Charles wished that she could have seen.

A stab of pain hit him in the chest, and Charles absently rubbed at his breastbone. It was not as painful as it used to be—it had been five years, after all—but it was still there. Charles was sure it would always be there, and he would eventually be able to cope with it. That wasn't anytime now, though.

Charles hoped that it wasn't going to get in the way of anything. He wanted to enjoy his children's first moments of the London Season. Even though they were grown and heading out on their own, for the most part, he wanted to experience it along with them. And he couldn't really do that if he was behaving like a grumpy old man.

At forty, he was certainly feeling old.

As Charles opened the door, a squeal made him jump, and he clutched at his chest.

"God, Lara! Don't do that! You're going to make my heart give out one of these days."

"My apologies, Father." Lara was still giggling as she hurried over to her father and kissed his cheek. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"What was the reason for the scream, anyway?" Charles looked past her and at Archie, who was holding up a white mask that covered half of his face. "What on earth are you doing, Archie?"

"It's a mask, Father." His son took it off and gestured with it. "We're going to be having a masquerade ball at some point, according to the tailor, and he said he could sell me a mask for it."

"It looks like something you use to cover your face when it's been burned."

Archie huffed and put a hand on his hip.

"Is that your way of saying I shouldn't have been persuaded to buy one, Father?"

"Well, you were only meant to get your suit fitted properly, and Lara was supposed to pick up her dress. Nothing more." Charles sighed. "You really need to stop doing that. Learn the value of money, Archie."

"It's fine. It wasn't very much at all."

"And I suppose you bought a matching one for your sister as well? You just have to match, don't you?"

"Of course he did." Lara picked up a similar mask and held it up to her face with another giggle. "At least we would be able to pick each other out in a crowd. No awkward interactions, so to speak."

Charles should have guessed. They did like to have matching things. Being different genders meant they couldn't be identical, but they did like to match colors and items that men or women could use. Already, they were both tall and of similar builds—although Archie was slightly more firmly built than his sister—with hair black like their father's and identical brown eyes.

Their bond was close, and Charles wasn't about to argue with that. He just wished that it didn't get too much; whoever fell in love with either of his children was going to have to deal with the other being around in their life as well.

Charles wondered if he would have been the same if he had been born with a twin. Then again, given how much he squabbled with his younger brothers when they were younger, he doubted that it would have been as successful as Archie and Lara were.

"What do you think, Father?" Lara asked, going over to the settee, where a gorgeous gown in dark green was laid out. Beside it was a green jacket and matching waistcoat. "Archie and I wanted to match in green. Is this a good color?"

"Any color looks good on you, Lara. You know that." Charles sat in a nearby chair. "You won't have to worry about losing each other in a crowd with a dark color like that. Archie, do you mind pouring me out a drink? My feet are killing me."

"All right, Father." Archie moved over to the drinks cabinet. "What did you get up to? You said you were going for a walk."

"I did. And I encountered an old acquaintance as well."

"At least you're meeting new people as well," Lara commented. "Uncle Harvey said that it was best that you did that as well as us."

"Well, I'm at an age where I can take my time with it. And I'm not in any hurry about it."

Although as he said that, Charles found himself thinking about Lady Louise Price, the curvy woman he met who had practically fallen at his feet. The moment she looked at him with those hazel-green eyes, Charles felt something drawing him to her. It was a shock that just her eyes looking at him would elicit such a reaction from him, but it wasn't just the eyes.

Louise was beautiful. It was like she had been created to perfection, her long dark hair pinned away from her face but curling down her back and that mouth that curved so delicately when she smiled. Charles had done his best not to openly stare at her, especially when she blushed. She was very pretty already, but then to smile like that…

And it had left Charles feeling very uncomfortable. She was a friend of Lady Clarissa Coleton's, so she had to be in her twenties, at the very most. She was far too young for him. If Charles ever wanted to think about a woman in romantic ways, she should be closer to his age. Lady Louise was not about to have someone like him following her around and leering from a distance.

Sure, he could appreciate a beautiful woman, but that was as far as it would go.

Even so…

"Father?"

Charles jumped as Archie waved a hand in front of his face. He looked up to see his son holding out a glass toward him.

"Your drink?"

"Oh. Right." Charles took the glass and gave his son a nod. "Thanks, Son. I need this."

"Are you all right?" Archie peered at him. "You started looking a little…despondent just then."

"Did I?" Charles took a gulp of his drink, feeling the soothing smoothness slide down his throat. "I wasn't aware I was doing it."

"You were, Father." Lara nodded, her expression solemn. "You were thinking about Mother again, weren't you?"

Charles wanted to say that it wasn't that, but how was he supposed to explain that he was thinking about the beauty he encountered who was not much older than them? Much as his children would like him to move on eventually—they had dropped hints about it for some time now—he doubted that they would be happy with finding out he found someone so young that attractive.

It was easier to keep quiet about it and hope that it was a passing fancy. It was simply a reaction from being alone for so long.

"I had a few memories of her appear in my head while I was on my walk, especially when I saw my acquaintance with his small family. It reminded me of you two." Charles smiled. "Your mother would love to see this now, see how grown you two are. She would even find you two getting matching masks amusing."

Lara smiled back, and Archie grinned.

"Mother would be wearing matching green as well. She wouldn't want to miss out on a chance to do that," Archie replied.

He did have a point. Mary would absolutely have done that. Charles wouldn't have joined in, but he would have stepped back to watch what was happening. The three of them were very sweet together.

Unfortunately, that would never happen now. Mary never got that far to do it. Ever since she fell from her horse while she was out riding alone. She had gone down a slope by the river and broken her neck, and she hadn't been found for some time after her horse had come home without her. Charles couldn't begin to describe the feelings he experienced the moment he saw his wife's body, knowing that she was never going to be back with them.

It had scared him so much that he had refused to even let his children go riding for fear that the same would happen to them. Even then, they never went out alone. They were eighteen now and had chaperones, anyway, but Charles refused to let them be out and about without someone else making sure they were safe.

If it could happen to Mary, who was normally so careful and a very competent rider, it could happen to them.

That was what had confused Charles for a long time. Mary always went out with someone when she went riding. She said that it made her feel safer just in case something happened, after an incident when she was a child and she broke her leg falling from her horse. It had taken two hours before anyone found her. It was something she was adamant about.

So why had she gone out without a chaperone? Why was she alone at all? Mary hadn't said anything about going out on a ride that day, and yet she had. She never kept anything from him, which had made Charles suspicious. What had she been up to?

It had made him ill trying to figure out why, until Charles realized that he was never going to get any answers. It could have been that Mary wanted to ride on a whim, and she wanted to go alone. Things had been happening before her death where Mary had withdrawn a little from everyone and become more lost in thoughts. She had promised to tell him everything, but that never came.

What had she wanted to tell him? Charles really wished that she had been alive long enough to tell him that. It had clearly upset her enough that she couldn't talk to him about it at the time.

That was one of life's mysteries that he was never going to find out, sadly. And it nagged at him every now and then.

Charles just wished that he could have some closure. Then maybe he would feel better about moving forward.

"Father!" Lara shook her head. "You're doing it again."

Charles shook himself. He really needed to stop doing that in front of his children. While they understood, they didn't need him to be falling into a depression every time he thought about their mother. They needed him to be present and to enjoy the moments in their future with them. Lara and Archie were his focus now.

If only Mary could see them now.

Stop it. You just said you weren't going to think about her, so make a point and don't.

"My lord?"

The butler had entered the room. Charles shifted around to face him.

"Yes, Rothwell? What is it?"

"Lady St. Simon is here. Shall I show her in?"

Rothwell barely got the words out before Elizabeth Ball, the Viscountess St. Simon, swept into the room, her skirts swishing about her long legs. Charles got to his feet as she approached him with a warm smile.

"Charles, dear. Thank you for seeing me."

"It's not like I had much of an option, Elizabeth," Charles replied as she kissed him on both cheeks, her lips brushing near his mouth in a way that made him uncomfortable. "You didn't give me a chance to refuse you."

Elizabeth laughed, the tone soft and tinkling.

"Oh, but we're family. You don't need to say if I can or can't join you, do you?"

Charles wanted to point out that it was the same for everyone, but he decided against it. His sister-in-law had the ability to have important information, like Society etiquette when it came to her family, go in one ear and out the other. Especially when it came to him. Elizabeth seemed to think boundaries didn't apply. Telling her was pointless, for the most part, so Charles just ignored it.

"What's all this?" Elizabeth moved over to the garments laid out on the settee. "Are you and Archie getting your clothes ready for the ball, Lara?"

"At Earl of Brighton's? Yes." Lara beamed. "The gown is gorgeous, isn't it?"

"Absolutely. I can see how you're going to sparkle in that dress." Elizabeth turned to her niece. "You're going to look just like your aunt when you wear that. I always looked stunning in green."

Charles rolled his eyes, but didn't say anything. Archie simply laughed and put an arm around his sister's shoulders.

"I'm more thinking she's going to look like Mother. She looked a bit like Lara when she was the same age, didn't she, Father?"

"As far as I'm aware," Charles replied, seeing the brightness in Elizabeth dimming a little. "I didn't know her at eighteen, but if you change the hair color to brown, it would be like she's standing before us now."

He knew it was goading his wife's sister a little, but Elizabeth made her niece and nephew uncomfortable with her comments, almost like she wanted to replace their mother. Charles had told her to stop, as had his friend.

Harvey Ball, Viscount St. Simon, was worried about his wife trying too much with her sister's children and practically ignoring her own daughter, but it didn't seem to register. Elizabeth just lived in her own world. Charles wondered if there was something wrong with the woman but just decided that she was too stubborn to see that it was making everyone embarrassed. If she meant well, she just had an odd way of showing it.

Nowadays, she was mostly tolerated, and Archie and Lara were old enough to counter their aunt's strange antics.

"Well, I'm the one who loved green," Elizabeth said stoutly. And turned her smile onto Lara. "And you are going to look incredible, dear. I'm sure all the gentlemen will be chasing you."

Lara laughed.

"I hope they will let me get used to everything before that happens. I don't want to be chased by everyone at my first social gathering. That's too much too soon for me."

"Oh, but you're such a beauty. You're going to draw everyone's attention."

Lara was now looking uncomfortable. Charles knew why; Lara was not as outgoing as Archie, so social gatherings were a bit tougher for her. She could handle herself, but she was quieter than her brother. Having so much attention that early was going to overwhelm her.

"Archie, why don't you and Lara take your belongings to your room and get them ready?" Charles suggested. "I'll speak with Elizabeth until you come back. And Rothwell? Ask for the tea tray to be brought in. And send Norman in."

That was a rule in their house. One of the servants sat in with anyone who was with Elizabeth. That was usually Charles. Thankfully, Elizabeth hadn't commented after Charles said it was only to protect her reputation as rumors did like to fly around, but it was more to protect himself. He didn't want his sister-in-law to do something that would put them in a compromising situation.

Her husband was his closest friend, and Charles never wanted to be put in a position where it hurt him. That would destroy Harvey, and Elizabeth seemed to be behaving in a manner that would embarrass him.

Maybe they should talk to Elizabeth again about it. This couldn't carry on.

A moment after Lara and Archie had help carrying their belongings out of the room, Norman entered and stood just inside the door. Rothwell also left to find the tea tray. Elizabeth sighed.

"Honestly, you really need to stop with the servant sitting in on us, Charles. Nothing's going to happen. I trust you."

"It's best that we keep it going." Charles gestured for her to sit down before settling back in his chair. "You never know what's going to happen."

"Even so…" Elizabeth frowned as she sat down, smoothing out her skirts. "Anyway, I wanted to talk to you, Charles. I'm getting worried about you."

"Worried?"

"I can sense that you're starting to pull away again. You're beginning to withdraw into yourself once more, and I'm getting worried that you're going to hide away from everyone."

Charles was confused. He didn't think that he was pulling away from anyone. He had actually been a little more sociable in recent days in preparation for going to the earl's ball with his children. If anything, he had been slightly more outgoing.

"I've only just arrived in London from Derbyshire, Elizabeth. I wouldn't say I've withdrawn from anyone."

"I can tell when your mood switches, Charles," Elizabeth insisted. She shifted forward. "I was getting worried, and I wanted to make sure that you didn't fall into depression again."

Charles sighed and finished his drink. Then he held it up for Norman to see.

"Another one, Norman, if you would? Would you like one, Elizabeth?"

"No, thank you. I'll have tea when it comes here." Elizabeth peered at him intently. "I know you miss Mary, but you need to think about the positives in life, Charles."

"You make it sound like I'm not doing that already."

"I want to be certain that you're not going to be miserable again. I know how much you loved Mary…"

"And you know how much I want to move forward without talking about Mary all the time," Charles cut her off. Somehow, hearing Elizabeth talk about her sister, his wife, left a nasty taste in his mouth. "Besides, you don't need to worry about that. I'm making steps to be out and about. Like attending the Earl of Brighton's ball."

"I was going to ask you about that. I wanted you to come with…us." The last word sounded like an afterthought. "It would do you some good to come out."

"Well, I'm going with Lara and Archie. Someone needed to chaperone them, and they asked if I could come with them. Naturally, being their father, I said that I would."

"I see." Elizabeth looked slightly put out. "I was going to ask if you could chaperone me."

Charles frowned.

"Why would I chaperone you, Elizabeth? You're going with your husband, aren't you? And I know that Harvey is going to the ball. He and Brighton are old friends, after all."

"I…" Elizabeth spluttered. "But he and Lord Brighton are going to spend all their time talking, and then I'm going to be alone. Wouldn't it be better if I spent my time with you?"

"You can do that regardless of whether I'm chaperoning you or not. You don't need me to have an official title to be around you."

Charles could see Elizabeth's expression shift. Was she expecting him to agree to that? Every time in the last few years, since Charles was supposed to have come out of mourning, Elizabeth kept asking him to come with her on outings or social gatherings.

He had always turned her down, his reasoning was it didn't feel right to go out with someone who wasn't his wife. Even though Elizabeth was his sister-in-law, Charles just didn't feel confident about being seen with someone else. It felt like a disrespect to Mary.

She kept asking, and Charles always kept turning her down. Five years on, and she still kept asking the same questions, even after being told to stop. There was being supportive of a relative's spouse, and then there was what Elizabeth was doing. It was like she was trying a bit too hard.

"Anyway, shouldn't you be preparing for Lucy's coming out? She's coming to the same ball as well, isn't she?"

Elizabeth sniffed.

"Lucy's still trying to find her dress. It's getting frustrating."

"Maybe if she had her mother helping her, it would make the process a little faster? I know you have excellent taste when it comes to things like this."

Elizabeth shrugged.

"I suppose."

"You do. Lucy's more like Harvey; she'll just wear anything, and it won't make her stand out. But you know how to do that, and I'm sure Lucy will appreciate some guidance from you."

Elizabeth looked unsure about that, and Charles could see the reluctance. He just couldn't understand why his sister-in- law was so dismissive of her only daughter. She was only a few months younger than Archie and Lara, and they were all incredibly close. Charles knew that Lucy was just as excited to go, and she was hoping for her mother's help to find a gown that would be ideal to wear. But Elizabeth just ignored her.

Why was she pretending Lucy didn't exist and doted on her niece and nephew instead? Charles could never understand it, and he had never gotten a straight answer out of Elizabeth why she did it. Maybe it was because she was only ever able to have a daughter and didn't produce a male heir? Harvey didn't seem to care about that, but perhaps Elizabeth did.

Charles hoped that Elizabeth would notice her daughter eventually, or she was going to have no children by the end of it.

The door opened, and Rothwell came in with the tea tray, which he placed on the coffee table near Charles.

"Would you like me to pour, my lord?"

"Please, Rothwell. Norman, would you go and see what's keeping the children? I'm sure they want something as well."

"Yes, my lord."

Norman left, his footsteps barely audible. For such a large man, he was very light-footed. Charles had never figured out how that worked.

"Why don't we ask for Lara's advice? She's the one who's very knowledgeable of fashion." Charles smiled. "I'm sure they can come up with something."

Elizabeth managed a bland smile in return.

"I'm sure," she murmured.

Hopefully, seeing her niece involved would get Elizabeth involved with her daughter as well. It just needed a little nudge.

It wasn't just Charles who was in need of someone giving them a push toward the right thing. Elizabeth had the ability to be a good mother, and Charles knew that she could be.

It just didn't get directed at her own daughter.