Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"Kenneth, please be careful!" Clarissa Coleton called as laughter floated up toward them. "You're getting too close to the water."

The toddler giggled and jumped about, waving the reeds he had picked up. Louise Price smiled.

"You don't need to worry about him, Clarissa. Nanny June is right by them. They're not going to end up in the pond."

"As much as I trust Nanny June, I'm still worried about them going anywhere near the water." Clarissa frowned. "You know how sneaky children are and how quickly they can get into trouble."

Louise laughed.

"I remember that time when Kenneth, Charlotte, and Terence got into the paint in your art studio and decided that tipping it all over the floor and on each other was a good idea."

"Oh, God!" Clarissa shuddered. "Why did you have to remind me of that? We had to stick them in baths throughout the day to get them clean properly, and their clothes couldn't be saved. Neither could the rug they were on. We had to throw it out and get a new one."

"At least the floorboards were washable."

"And I know you find it amusing. You didn't have to deal with it. And I know the housekeeper wasn't happy about it for a while afterward." Clarissa sipped her tea. "I feel grateful that she didn't resign right there and then. She's a godsend."

"Mrs. Marshwood is a patient woman who's worth her weight in gold, Clarissa. You're not going to lose her."

Louise watched her friend shake her head and finish her tea. There was a bit of stress on her face, but it was slowly relaxing. Being a mother, even with servants around to help, was tough on any woman, which Louise had witnessed with Clarissa since Terence was born five years ago.

How she coped with three children under the age of six, Louise had no idea. She was just glad that she didn't have to deal with them for more than a couple of hours. Louise adored them, but she didn't think she would be able to manage more than she already did.

Today, it was just Terence and Kenneth. Charlotte was only six months old and she was having her nap back at the house, a short walk away. Louise had suggested coming out for a picnic and wearing out the older children so the afternoon could be calmer than normal. Clarissa hadn't been so sure, but it seemed to be making her feel a little better. She was certainly not as tense as before.

Motherhood was something Louise didn't think she would ever experience. And she didn't need to when she was this close to children and a mother. She had been friends with Clarissa for more than twenty years, and they had shared practically everything. Clarissa was also the one who had been staunchly at Louise's side as the Seasons came and went, and Louise still didn't have a husband.

It had been irritating in the beginning, but now Louise just didn't care. Who wanted someone who was like her, anyway? She was one of those people who just seemed not to be marriage material. Louise had come to terms with it.

Clarissa didn't care. As long as she had her friend and someone to vent to when she was in need of a listening ear, that was enough for her. And Louise liked to think that she was a good listener.

"I just hope that it's going to be easier once they get older," Clarissa said, putting her cup and saucer aside before dusting the crumbs off her skirts. "They're a handful now, so I'm shuddering to think what they're going to be like in ten years, and they start being rebellious."

"They're not going to be rebellious. They'll be absolutely fine." Louise patted her friend's knee. "Just take a deep breath and remember that things are going to be fine. You've got a lot of support, and the servants are around you. You don't need to worry about anything."

Clarissa looked unsure, and Louise could understand. She had been feeling low since having Charlotte, and getting her spirits up was harder this time around. Louise worried that Clarissa's nerves were not so good anymore. Maybe she should speak to her husband about taking Clarissa away for a while, or just giving her time away from the children.

Perhaps they should go and visit Clarissa's parents, and they can look after the children while Clarissa got some rest. Louise knew that having time to herself with her children close by would do her wonders.

Something to improve her mood.

"So, how are my dear ladies?"

Clarissa looked up, and her face broke into one of those rare smiles that had been missing lately. Her husband, Lord Mark Coleton, appeared behind them, nodding at the nearby footman before he settled down onto the blanket laid out across the grass. He leaned in and kissed his wife's cheek.

"You're looking better, darling. How is the park air doing for you?"

"Better now that you're here," Clarissa replied.

Louise snorted.

"It's a good thing you're here, Mark. Clarissa's been incredibly worried about your sons."

"She's always worried about them. She gets concerned that they're going to get into things again." Mark grinned at Louise. "They are precocious children, after all. Much like me when I was that age."

"I worry what you were like when you were that age, Mark," Louise shot back.

If it had been anyone else, they might have gotten upset and chided Louise for behaving in such a manner, but Mark Coleton had known Louise for as long as he knew Clarissa. They could squabble and tease each other like they were brother and sister. Louise couldn't have asked for a better husband for her friend.

Mark laughed, and Clarissa leaned into her husband. She was looking a little more relaxed now. Perhaps broaching the subject of taking her to spend time away from her children would be a good idea. Louise wanted to see her looking better.

"By the way," Mark said as he picked up a strawberry and bit into it, "I've got someone I think you would like to meet, Louise."

Louise groaned.

"Oh, Mark, not this again."

"What?"

"You're trying to get me to be around a gentleman so I can find a husband, aren't you?"

Mark didn't answer immediately, but his expression told Louise everything. This wouldn't be the first time he had tried to do this, and it was annoying. He knew the reasons why Louise didn't want that to happen.

"What's wrong with entertaining the idea?" Clarissa asked. "You are going to end up being alone for a long time if you're not careful."

"Don't you start, Clarissa. You know perfectly well why I'm in spinsterhood now."

"Just because it didn't work in the past doesn't mean it's not going to work now. I'm quite content being on my own without any potential husband being around me."

Mark finished his mouthful and swallowed, kissing his wife's head before reaching for another strawberry.

"Well, it should be a good thing. After all, you can't rely on your aunt for your future."

Louise snorted.

"I don't want to be relying on her now. Not that she's done anything to provide for me beyond the basics." She sipped her tea. "You both know what happened to me when I entered Society for the first time and how every interaction with a potential suitor happened. They disappear on me and decide that I'm not suitable for them at all. And they never gave a reason why."

That had been demoralizing for Louise. She thought that she was being successful and expected to be married by the time her second Season started, but that never happened. Instead, she had so many rejections and refusals that word got around, and now Louise was mostly avoided. It had been horrible in the beginning, and Louise had been miserable.

But now it was just something she had to shrug off, and she had to accept that she was going to be a spinster. Not the status she wanted or expected, but Louise could manage.

"Look," she said as she put her tea down, "I appreciate your help on this, Mark, but I don't want to go through all of that again. It was painful back then, and I doubt that it's going to be any better this time around."

"So you want to be under your Aunt Harriet's thumb for the rest of your life?" Mark snorted. "I doubt that she's going to leave you anything once she passes away. She's barely left you anything before, apart from the bare minimum."

"You think I want to be in this situation? I don't have a choice, and I know Aunt Harriet doesn't want me around. But what can I do?"

Louise didn't want to be reminded of her home situation. Her parents had died when she was very young, and her mother's sister had been made to take her in. Aunt Harriet didn't like Louise being around, and she kept their interactions to a minimum.

Even when Louise went to social gatherings, Aunt Harriet didn't accompany her. It was like they existed in the same house, and that was it most days. Louise wished that they could actually get along, but with how prickly her aunt was toward her, she doubted that it was going to happen anytime soon.

"While I do agree with my husband," Clarissa said, glancing at Mark before turning back to her friend, "I think we should let it happen naturally. With how things have been in the past, I don't want it to hurt Louise more than she already has been. How do we know this is going to be different?"

"Because my friend is different," Mark insisted. "He was very keen to hear about you, and I'm sure that things are going to be fine. He likes astrology."

Louise sighed.

"It's astronomy, Mark, not astrology. How long have you known me?"

"Is it? I thought they were the same thing."

Clarissa swatted his shoulder.

"You really need to pay attention, Mark. And while I do think Louise should settle down and have her own life away from what she has now, we can't rush it. Anything forced is more than likely going to do more harm than good."

Mark sighed and shrugged.

"I do concede that Louise has had a lot of bad luck in the past. But it should be fine this time, right? It's been some years since that happened."

"It doesn't mean it won't happen again," Louise pointed out. "I appreciate you looking out for me, but it's not going to be easy to accept anything that I know is going to hurt me in the future." She looked around at a squeal. "I think you're going to need to make sure Kenneth and Terence don't push your nanny into the water. Otherwise you're going to have someone going home dripping wet."

Sighing, Mark kissed Clarissa and stood up.

"I'll go. But think about what I said, Louise. I think my friend would be just right for you."

Louise rolled her eyes. She doubted that was going to be the case, but she was enjoying her day too much to have an argument over it. Mark meant well, but it was so annoying when he was too well-meaning.

At least Clarissa loved him, and that was all that mattered to Louise. She wanted to see her friend happy, and that made her happy.

It was worth it rather than moaning about her own situation.

***

More squealing emitted around Louise, which made her jump. Much as she loved the little boys, they were certainly loud and boisterous. It was enough to make her head ring like she had a bell in her skull.

There were times like this when she could sympathize with Clarissa. The loudness was enough to make anyone feel like they were on frayed nerves.

"Please be careful, you two!" Nanny June said as she dodged around Louise. "You're going to trip someone over if you keep behaving like this."

But Terence and Kenneth just laughed and ran off, Kenneth toddling behind his older brother. Nanny June sighed and followed them.

"I think Nanny June is going to be more worn out than the boys," Mark commented. He was walking Clarissa along the path with Louise on his other side, the footmen behind them carrying the picnic basket. "They do know how to make everyone exhausted."

"I'm surprised the children know how to sit down." Louise laughed, watching as Kenneth jumped into Nanny June's arms and she lifted him into the air, which brought about more squealing. "They're adorable, but I know that they are a handful."

"At their age, that's to be expected."

Louise looked at Clarissa, who walked on ahead with her gaze focused on her children. Leaning in, Louise lowered her voice.

"I think Clarissa needs a holiday, Mark. She's looking rather frayed around the edges."

"She's my wife, Louise, not a rug."

"You know what I mean. I think she needs some proper rest, and even with the servants around, she's not going to get it in London." Louise gently nudged him. "I think you should take her and the children to either your parents' house or her family estate for an extended holiday and make the most of time alone. If you can't do that, make sure she has plenty of time to do what she wants."

Mark sighed.

"You think I haven't tried that. I know she needs rest, but she doesn't take it. In fact, she needs her children around her."

"Maybe suggest that she try doing her painting again. She used to love doing that. Then you can have the children elsewhere in the house or even out in the garden so she can see them." Louise nodded at Mark's unsure expression. "You know it will do her the world of good. I don't want to see her convalesce away from her children because she took too much on and didn't look after herself."

"I agree with that." Mark gave Louise a smile and nodded. "I'll see what I can do. But you know how stubborn Clarissa is. Maybe I can get her to paint with the children in the room and get them to paint with her. She wants to introduce it to them when they're older."

"If you think you can trust them not to tip paint everywhere."

"If it makes her happy."

Louise wasn't sure if that would work with how rambunctious the children were, but if they could manage to get it to work, then that would be better than nothing. She just wanted her friend to have her spirits lifted, and painting would be ideal.

They were coming to a turn in the path, and Clarissa noticed that someone was walking toward them. It meant that she would have to step onto the grass, so Louise sidestepped onto the uneven ground to give him some space. But at that moment, Terence decided to run across her, catching her off-balance. Louise tried to catch herself, but her foot got caught in the hem of her dress, and it got stuck. She felt something tug, and then she was falling.

The ground came up to meet her, and then she landed hard on her side. Pain shot up her shoulder and down along her arm. Something sharp scraped against her gloved hand and through her dress against her hip. Gasping, Louise lay frozen for a moment. She wanted to curl into a ball and hide from what happened. Now, this was certainly one way to humiliate herself.

And, this time, it would be her fault.

"Louise!" Clarissa gasped, hurrying to her. "Are you all right?"

"I…I'm fine," Louise said through gritted teeth.

Then, there was the sound of rustling clothes, and someone knelt down beside her. Louise looked up, but couldn't see much with the sun directly behind them; their face was mostly obscured. But then her eyes sharpened, and she saw the gentleman who was leaning over her.

Strong, rugged complexion with a strong jaw, dark blue eyes that were narrowed in concern, and a soft-looking mouth. He had a hat on, so Louise couldn't see his hair, but his eyebrows were black, brought together on his forehead as he looked at her.

For a moment, Louise couldn't speak. There was something…enigmatic about him, and she couldn't take her eyes off him.

"You're not hurt, are you, my lady?" he asked, his voice deep and rumbling. It seemed to vibrate across her skin, and Louise had to fight the urge to shiver.

"I…I don't…I don't think so."

Why did her voice have to squeak like that? God, she was even more embarrassed now, lying sprawled on the ground like a fool while this very handsome gentleman was looking down at her.

His expression said that he didn't quite believe her, but he put his hands under her shoulders.

"Let's get you standing up, then, my lady. If you think you can manage it?"

"I think I can do that." Louise managed to get her foot out of her dress hem and sat up slowly. "I…forgive me, I…"

"Children are lovable, but they get in the way, don't they?" His mouth twitched. "I have children myself and, trust me, they still get in the way."

"Oh. I see."

Why did hearing that he had children lower her mood? Louise was surprised at herself. What was going on with her? She didn't even know his name, and her heart was already pounding.

"Come on, Louise! Let's get you upright."

Louise jumped. She had almost forgotten that Mark and Clarissa were there. Seeing Mark standing over her, holding out a hand, she knew that she couldn't refuse. Sighing, she took his hand and allowed him to pull her to her feet with a little assistance from the gentleman as he stood behind her.

Once she was upright, Louise busied herself with dusting herself off. Gravel stuck to her dress, and it seemed to have become rather sticky. Her elbow and shoulder were stinging, as were her hip and knee. Louise had a feeling that she was going to be moving very gingerly for a while.

"Oh, Louise! I can't apologize enough." Clarissa looked upset, helping Louise to dust herself down. "Terence didn't mean anything by it."

"You don't need to apologize, Clarissa. It was an accident." Louise managed a smile. "No harm done."

Apart to her pride. It would be just her luck that she would fall over in front of a very handsome gentleman. And he was still watching her, his gaze unreadable. It was disconcerting.

"Lord Chesterfield!" Mark's exclamation made Louise jump. "I didn't realize you were back in London."

"My children and I arrived at our townhouse yesterday." That voice was still enough to make Louise tremble. "I thought I'd stretch my legs today after the long journey down here."

"It's certainly been a while since you've been in the city itself, isn't it?" Mark asked.

"A very long time, Lord Coleton. And it's nice to see that you've built yourself a family while I've been away."

As he said that, Kenneth trotted over, almost barreling into Chesterfield's leg. Clarissa gasped.

"Kenneth! Don't do that!"

"It's fine. The twins were very much like this when they were the same age." Chesterfield laughed and managed to get Kenneth off his leg. "Thankfully, they're too old to be doing that, or I would be in trouble."

Dear God, that laugh was almost as rich as his voice. Louise absently rubbed at her arms, feeling her skin prickling. There was something really wrong with her. Did she hit her head in the fall?

"My family has certainly grown," Mark said with a laugh. "I think Terence was merely a baby when you…well…"

"When my wife died?" Chesterfield sighed. "Sounds like I've been away for too long."

"I wouldn't say that. Time just passes us by." Mark turned to Clarissa. "Darling, this is the Earl of Chesterfield. He and I knew each other some years ago. This is my wife, Clarissa."

"My lord." Clarissa curtsied. "It's a pleasure to meet you. My husband has spoken about you before. I wish we had spoken before."

"Lady Clarissa." The earl bowed to her, taking off his hat and revealing his raven-black hair was streaked throughout with silver strands. "It's a pleasure to be acquainted with you. I'm glad to see that Lord Coleton is happy with his life."

Clarissa bit her lip, and she blushed. Louise almost laughed at the sight; Clarissa looked like a little girl again. It was rather sweet to see.

Then Louise realized that Chesterfield was looking at her. Her heart tripped over itself, and her mouth went dry. There was something about the way he looked at her that was intense. It rooted her to the spot. And she had lost the ability to speak.

"And this is our friend, Lady Louise Price," Mark went on hurriedly, giving Louise a nudge. "She's a childhood friend of my wife's."

"I see." The earl bowed to Louise, barely taking his eyes off her. "Lady Louise."

"My…my lord." Louise cleared her throat and dropped a curtsy, wobbling suddenly before getting back on her feet. "Forgive me for such an…introduction. I don't normally…well…"

"Take a tumble?" Chesterfield's mouth twitched, and it formed into a smile. "It normally happens around children. You blink, and they're suddenly under your feet."

That smile. Louise was surprised that she wasn't swooning. It reached his eyes and made them warm and twinkle.

What was wrong with her? This was not right.

"I trust that your son isn't hurt, Lady Clarissa?" Chesterfield asked, suddenly turning to Clarissa. "He didn't get caught in the tumble."

"No, he's fine, as you can see." Clarissa gestured at Terence, who was picking daisies with his brother, Nanny June crouching beside them. "I don't think much bothers him, if I'm honest."

"And you're not too badly hurt, are you, my lady?"

It took a moment for Louise to realize that he was talking to her. She felt her face getting warm, and she cleared her throat.

"I'll be fine," she mumbled. "It's nothing I can't handle."

"Louise has been around them since they were born," Mark added, putting an arm around Clarissa's shoulders. "She knows it's harmless."

"Although my pride is a little bit dented," Louise muttered under her breath.

From the look on the earl's face, he heard her, and he was clearly trying to hold back a laugh. That made Louise smile, and they exchanged a look where something passed between them. It felt like a warm cloak that wrapped around Louise's shoulders, and she wanted to huddle into it.

Then she caught herself and stopped thinking that something was actually happening. She needed to get her head back on straight, or she was going to start behaving with such folly.

"Anyway, we were about to head home with the children," Mark went on. "Would you like to join us, my lord?"

"Thank you for the invitation, but maybe another time." Chesterfield put his hat back on and adjusted the lapels on his jacket. "My children are coming back from the dressmaker and tailor shortly. I said we could have tea together."

"How old are your children?" Louise asked.

"They're both eighteen. This is going to be their first Season."

He had adult children? He had to be at least in his late thirties. And he was this handsome? Louise wondered what he had been drinking to make himself look so good.

"Anyway, I'd better be on my way. I want to make sure they haven't gone overboard with spending. The pair of them are far too excited." Chesterfield touched his fingers to his hat at Louise. "Lady Louise. Lady Clarissa. Lord Coleton."

Louise watched him as he walked away, his stride confident and sure of himself. He looked like a prowling animal sauntering away. Wait, why was she making a comparison like that?

"Louise?" Clarissa was watching her oddly. "Are you all right?"

"I…I'm fine." Louise cleared her throat. "It's just…I don't normally fall flat on my face in front of earls, that's all."

Clarissa arched an eyebrow, giving her a sly smile. For a moment, she looked like her old self again. Then Mark squeezed his wife's shoulders.

"Anyway, shall we go before the boys trip over someone else? I'm sure Charlotte will be happy to see us if she's awake now."

Clarissa nodded her agreement and they walked down the path, Louise following just behind them, the footman almost keeping in step with her. Louise couldn't walk too quickly, not with her body as sore as it was.

And she couldn't stop thinking about the Earl of Chesterfield. For the first time in years, she actually had a man on her mind. And he had barely done anything except smile at her.

Chapter 2

As soon as Charles Simmons opened the door, he could hear the laughter coming from the drawing room. It sounded like Lara and Archie had already gotten back from their excursion to the respective shops to get their clothes for their first ball. It was nice to know that they were happy and looking forward to it.

Mary would be happy to see their twins entering Society for the first time. If she was here, she would be excited and thrilled over it. This was something Charles wished that she could have seen.

A stab of pain hit him in the chest, and Charles absently rubbed at his breastbone. It was not as painful as it used to be—it had been five years, after all—but it was still there. Charles was sure it would always be there, and he would eventually be able to cope with it. That wasn't anytime now, though.

Charles hoped that it wasn't going to get in the way of anything. He wanted to enjoy his children's first moments of the London Season. Even though they were grown and heading out on their own, for the most part, he wanted to experience it along with them. And he couldn't really do that if he was behaving like a grumpy old man.

At forty, he was certainly feeling old.

As Charles opened the door, a squeal made him jump, and he clutched at his chest.

"God, Lara! Don't do that! You're going to make my heart give out one of these days."

"My apologies, Father." Lara was still giggling as she hurried over to her father and kissed his cheek. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"What was the reason for the scream, anyway?" Charles looked past her and at Archie, who was holding up a white mask that covered half of his face. "What on earth are you doing, Archie?"

"It's a mask, Father." His son took it off and gestured with it. "We're going to be having a masquerade ball at some point, according to the tailor, and he said he could sell me a mask for it."

"It looks like something you use to cover your face when it's been burned."

Archie huffed and put a hand on his hip.

"Is that your way of saying I shouldn't have been persuaded to buy one, Father?"

"Well, you were only meant to get your suit fitted properly, and Lara was supposed to pick up her dress. Nothing more." Charles sighed. "You really need to stop doing that. Learn the value of money, Archie."

"It's fine. It wasn't very much at all."

"And I suppose you bought a matching one for your sister as well? You just have to match, don't you?"

"Of course he did." Lara picked up a similar mask and held it up to her face with another giggle. "At least we would be able to pick each other out in a crowd. No awkward interactions, so to speak."

Charles should have guessed. They did like to have matching things. Being different genders meant they couldn't be identical, but they did like to match colors and items that men or women could use. Already, they were both tall and of similar builds—although Archie was slightly more firmly built than his sister—with hair black like their father's and identical brown eyes.

Their bond was close, and Charles wasn't about to argue with that. He just wished that it didn't get too much; whoever fell in love with either of his children was going to have to deal with the other being around in their life as well.

Charles wondered if he would have been the same if he had been born with a twin. Then again, given how much he squabbled with his younger brothers when they were younger, he doubted that it would have been as successful as Archie and Lara were.

"What do you think, Father?" Lara asked, going over to the settee, where a gorgeous gown in dark green was laid out. Beside it was a green jacket and matching waistcoat. "Archie and I wanted to match in green. Is this a good color?"

"Any color looks good on you, Lara. You know that." Charles sat in a nearby chair. "You won't have to worry about losing each other in a crowd with a dark color like that. Archie, do you mind pouring me out a drink? My feet are killing me."

"All right, Father." Archie moved over to the drinks cabinet. "What did you get up to? You said you were going for a walk."

"I did. And I encountered an old acquaintance as well."

"At least you're meeting new people as well," Lara commented. "Uncle Harvey said that it was best that you did that as well as us."

"Well, I'm at an age where I can take my time with it. And I'm not in any hurry about it."

Although as he said that, Charles found himself thinking about Lady Louise Price, the curvy woman he met who had practically fallen at his feet. The moment she looked at him with those hazel-green eyes, Charles felt something drawing him to her. It was a shock that just her eyes looking at him would elicit such a reaction from him, but it wasn't just the eyes.

Louise was beautiful. It was like she had been created to perfection, her long dark hair pinned away from her face but curling down her back and that mouth that curved so delicately when she smiled. Charles had done his best not to openly stare at her, especially when she blushed. She was very pretty already, but then to smile like that…

And it had left Charles feeling very uncomfortable. She was a friend of Lady Clarissa Coleton's, so she had to be in her twenties, at the very most. She was far too young for him. If Charles ever wanted to think about a woman in romantic ways, she should be closer to his age. Lady Louise was not about to have someone like him following her around and leering from a distance.

Sure, he could appreciate a beautiful woman, but that was as far as it would go.

Even so…

"Father?"

Charles jumped as Archie waved a hand in front of his face. He looked up to see his son holding out a glass toward him.

"Your drink?"

"Oh. Right." Charles took the glass and gave his son a nod. "Thanks, Son. I need this."

"Are you all right?" Archie peered at him. "You started looking a little…despondent just then."

"Did I?" Charles took a gulp of his drink, feeling the soothing smoothness slide down his throat. "I wasn't aware I was doing it."

"You were, Father." Lara nodded, her expression solemn. "You were thinking about Mother again, weren't you?"

Charles wanted to say that it wasn't that, but how was he supposed to explain that he was thinking about the beauty he encountered who was not much older than them? Much as his children would like him to move on eventually—they had dropped hints about it for some time now—he doubted that they would be happy with finding out he found someone so young that attractive.

It was easier to keep quiet about it and hope that it was a passing fancy. It was simply a reaction from being alone for so long.

"I had a few memories of her appear in my head while I was on my walk, especially when I saw my acquaintance with his small family. It reminded me of you two." Charles smiled. "Your mother would love to see this now, see how grown you two are. She would even find you two getting matching masks amusing."

Lara smiled back, and Archie grinned.

"Mother would be wearing matching green as well. She wouldn't want to miss out on a chance to do that," Archie replied.

He did have a point. Mary would absolutely have done that. Charles wouldn't have joined in, but he would have stepped back to watch what was happening. The three of them were very sweet together.

Unfortunately, that would never happen now. Mary never got that far to do it. Ever since she fell from her horse while she was out riding alone. She had gone down a slope by the river and broken her neck, and she hadn't been found for some time after her horse had come home without her. Charles couldn't begin to describe the feelings he experienced the moment he saw his wife's body, knowing that she was never going to be back with them.

It had scared him so much that he had refused to even let his children go riding for fear that the same would happen to them. Even then, they never went out alone. They were eighteen now and had chaperones, anyway, but Charles refused to let them be out and about without someone else making sure they were safe.

If it could happen to Mary, who was normally so careful and a very competent rider, it could happen to them.

That was what had confused Charles for a long time. Mary always went out with someone when she went riding. She said that it made her feel safer just in case something happened, after an incident when she was a child and she broke her leg falling from her horse. It had taken two hours before anyone found her. It was something she was adamant about.

So why had she gone out without a chaperone? Why was she alone at all? Mary hadn't said anything about going out on a ride that day, and yet she had. She never kept anything from him, which had made Charles suspicious. What had she been up to?

It had made him ill trying to figure out why, until Charles realized that he was never going to get any answers. It could have been that Mary wanted to ride on a whim, and she wanted to go alone. Things had been happening before her death where Mary had withdrawn a little from everyone and become more lost in thoughts. She had promised to tell him everything, but that never came.

What had she wanted to tell him? Charles really wished that she had been alive long enough to tell him that. It had clearly upset her enough that she couldn't talk to him about it at the time.

That was one of life's mysteries that he was never going to find out, sadly. And it nagged at him every now and then.

Charles just wished that he could have some closure. Then maybe he would feel better about moving forward.

"Father!" Lara shook her head. "You're doing it again."

Charles shook himself. He really needed to stop doing that in front of his children. While they understood, they didn't need him to be falling into a depression every time he thought about their mother. They needed him to be present and to enjoy the moments in their future with them. Lara and Archie were his focus now.

If only Mary could see them now.

Stop it. You just said you weren't going to think about her, so make a point and don't.

"My lord?"

The butler had entered the room. Charles shifted around to face him.

"Yes, Rothwell? What is it?"

"Lady St. Simon is here. Shall I show her in?"

Rothwell barely got the words out before Elizabeth Ball, the Viscountess St. Simon, swept into the room, her skirts swishing about her long legs. Charles got to his feet as she approached him with a warm smile.

"Charles, dear. Thank you for seeing me."

"It's not like I had much of an option, Elizabeth," Charles replied as she kissed him on both cheeks, her lips brushing near his mouth in a way that made him uncomfortable. "You didn't give me a chance to refuse you."

Elizabeth laughed, the tone soft and tinkling.

"Oh, but we're family. You don't need to say if I can or can't join you, do you?"

Charles wanted to point out that it was the same for everyone, but he decided against it. His sister-in-law had the ability to have important information, like Society etiquette when it came to her family, go in one ear and out the other. Especially when it came to him. Elizabeth seemed to think boundaries didn't apply. Telling her was pointless, for the most part, so Charles just ignored it.

"What's all this?" Elizabeth moved over to the garments laid out on the settee. "Are you and Archie getting your clothes ready for the ball, Lara?"

"At Earl of Brighton's? Yes." Lara beamed. "The gown is gorgeous, isn't it?"

"Absolutely. I can see how you're going to sparkle in that dress." Elizabeth turned to her niece. "You're going to look just like your aunt when you wear that. I always looked stunning in green."

Charles rolled his eyes, but didn't say anything. Archie simply laughed and put an arm around his sister's shoulders.

"I'm more thinking she's going to look like Mother. She looked a bit like Lara when she was the same age, didn't she, Father?"

"As far as I'm aware," Charles replied, seeing the brightness in Elizabeth dimming a little. "I didn't know her at eighteen, but if you change the hair color to brown, it would be like she's standing before us now."

He knew it was goading his wife's sister a little, but Elizabeth made her niece and nephew uncomfortable with her comments, almost like she wanted to replace their mother. Charles had told her to stop, as had his friend.

Harvey Ball, Viscount St. Simon, was worried about his wife trying too much with her sister's children and practically ignoring her own daughter, but it didn't seem to register. Elizabeth just lived in her own world. Charles wondered if there was something wrong with the woman but just decided that she was too stubborn to see that it was making everyone embarrassed. If she meant well, she just had an odd way of showing it.

Nowadays, she was mostly tolerated, and Archie and Lara were old enough to counter their aunt's strange antics.

"Well, I'm the one who loved green," Elizabeth said stoutly. And turned her smile onto Lara. "And you are going to look incredible, dear. I'm sure all the gentlemen will be chasing you."

Lara laughed.

"I hope they will let me get used to everything before that happens. I don't want to be chased by everyone at my first social gathering. That's too much too soon for me."

"Oh, but you're such a beauty. You're going to draw everyone's attention."

Lara was now looking uncomfortable. Charles knew why; Lara was not as outgoing as Archie, so social gatherings were a bit tougher for her. She could handle herself, but she was quieter than her brother. Having so much attention that early was going to overwhelm her.

"Archie, why don't you and Lara take your belongings to your room and get them ready?" Charles suggested. "I'll speak with Elizabeth until you come back. And Rothwell? Ask for the tea tray to be brought in. And send Norman in."

That was a rule in their house. One of the servants sat in with anyone who was with Elizabeth. That was usually Charles. Thankfully, Elizabeth hadn't commented after Charles said it was only to protect her reputation as rumors did like to fly around, but it was more to protect himself. He didn't want his sister-in-law to do something that would put them in a compromising situation.

Her husband was his closest friend, and Charles never wanted to be put in a position where it hurt him. That would destroy Harvey, and Elizabeth seemed to be behaving in a manner that would embarrass him.

Maybe they should talk to Elizabeth again about it. This couldn't carry on.

A moment after Lara and Archie had help carrying their belongings out of the room, Norman entered and stood just inside the door. Rothwell also left to find the tea tray. Elizabeth sighed.

"Honestly, you really need to stop with the servant sitting in on us, Charles. Nothing's going to happen. I trust you."

"It's best that we keep it going." Charles gestured for her to sit down before settling back in his chair. "You never know what's going to happen."

"Even so…" Elizabeth frowned as she sat down, smoothing out her skirts. "Anyway, I wanted to talk to you, Charles. I'm getting worried about you."

"Worried?"

"I can sense that you're starting to pull away again. You're beginning to withdraw into yourself once more, and I'm getting worried that you're going to hide away from everyone."

Charles was confused. He didn't think that he was pulling away from anyone. He had actually been a little more sociable in recent days in preparation for going to the earl's ball with his children. If anything, he had been slightly more outgoing.

"I've only just arrived in London from Derbyshire, Elizabeth. I wouldn't say I've withdrawn from anyone."

"I can tell when your mood switches, Charles," Elizabeth insisted. She shifted forward. "I was getting worried, and I wanted to make sure that you didn't fall into depression again."

Charles sighed and finished his drink. Then he held it up for Norman to see.

"Another one, Norman, if you would? Would you like one, Elizabeth?"

"No, thank you. I'll have tea when it comes here." Elizabeth peered at him intently. "I know you miss Mary, but you need to think about the positives in life, Charles."

"You make it sound like I'm not doing that already."

"I want to be certain that you're not going to be miserable again. I know how much you loved Mary…"

"And you know how much I want to move forward without talking about Mary all the time," Charles cut her off. Somehow, hearing Elizabeth talk about her sister, his wife, left a nasty taste in his mouth. "Besides, you don't need to worry about that. I'm making steps to be out and about. Like attending the Earl of Brighton's ball."

"I was going to ask you about that. I wanted you to come with…us." The last word sounded like an afterthought. "It would do you some good to come out."

"Well, I'm going with Lara and Archie. Someone needed to chaperone them, and they asked if I could come with them. Naturally, being their father, I said that I would."

"I see." Elizabeth looked slightly put out. "I was going to ask if you could chaperone me."

Charles frowned.

"Why would I chaperone you, Elizabeth? You're going with your husband, aren't you? And I know that Harvey is going to the ball. He and Brighton are old friends, after all."

"I…" Elizabeth spluttered. "But he and Lord Brighton are going to spend all their time talking, and then I'm going to be alone. Wouldn't it be better if I spent my time with you?"

"You can do that regardless of whether I'm chaperoning you or not. You don't need me to have an official title to be around you."

Charles could see Elizabeth's expression shift. Was she expecting him to agree to that? Every time in the last few years, since Charles was supposed to have come out of mourning, Elizabeth kept asking him to come with her on outings or social gatherings.

He had always turned her down, his reasoning was it didn't feel right to go out with someone who wasn't his wife. Even though Elizabeth was his sister-in-law, Charles just didn't feel confident about being seen with someone else. It felt like a disrespect to Mary.

She kept asking, and Charles always kept turning her down. Five years on, and she still kept asking the same questions, even after being told to stop. There was being supportive of a relative's spouse, and then there was what Elizabeth was doing. It was like she was trying a bit too hard.

"Anyway, shouldn't you be preparing for Lucy's coming out? She's coming to the same ball as well, isn't she?"

Elizabeth sniffed.

"Lucy's still trying to find her dress. It's getting frustrating."

"Maybe if she had her mother helping her, it would make the process a little faster? I know you have excellent taste when it comes to things like this."

Elizabeth shrugged.

"I suppose."

"You do. Lucy's more like Harvey; she'll just wear anything, and it won't make her stand out. But you know how to do that, and I'm sure Lucy will appreciate some guidance from you."

Elizabeth looked unsure about that, and Charles could see the reluctance. He just couldn't understand why his sister-in- law was so dismissive of her only daughter. She was only a few months younger than Archie and Lara, and they were all incredibly close. Charles knew that Lucy was just as excited to go, and she was hoping for her mother's help to find a gown that would be ideal to wear. But Elizabeth just ignored her.

Why was she pretending Lucy didn't exist and doted on her niece and nephew instead? Charles could never understand it, and he had never gotten a straight answer out of Elizabeth why she did it. Maybe it was because she was only ever able to have a daughter and didn't produce a male heir? Harvey didn't seem to care about that, but perhaps Elizabeth did.

Charles hoped that Elizabeth would notice her daughter eventually, or she was going to have no children by the end of it.

The door opened, and Rothwell came in with the tea tray, which he placed on the coffee table near Charles.

"Would you like me to pour, my lord?"

"Please, Rothwell. Norman, would you go and see what's keeping the children? I'm sure they want something as well."

"Yes, my lord."

Norman left, his footsteps barely audible. For such a large man, he was very light-footed. Charles had never figured out how that worked.

"Why don't we ask for Lara's advice? She's the one who's very knowledgeable of fashion." Charles smiled. "I'm sure they can come up with something."

Elizabeth managed a bland smile in return.

"I'm sure," she murmured.

Hopefully, seeing her niece involved would get Elizabeth involved with her daughter as well. It just needed a little nudge.

It wasn't just Charles who was in need of someone giving them a push toward the right thing. Elizabeth had the ability to be a good mother, and Charles knew that she could be.

It just didn't get directed at her own daughter.