Chapter 40

Louisa'strip home was thankfully, blessedly uneventful. No orcs, no Rikard, only sun and fresh air and her reliable beloved horses.

Butthe further she travelled from OrcMountain, the more she kept glancing back toward it, fighting to ignore the tightening knot in her belly. She might never return there again. Might never see Sune or Jule or Rosa again. Might never learn if she'd gained anything today, or whether they'd listened to her at all.

Andworst of all, she might never see Killik and Ulfarr again. I'll respect whatever you decide, she'd said at the meeting, and she'd meant it — but it suddenly felt deeply unfair, like a punishment that had been thrown upon her, too. A penance for the grievous sin of falling for a sweet, generous bedpartner, and then not even saying goodbye…

But— no. No. She wasn't supposed to be falling for Ulfarr, and this wasn't — anything. Only a deal. She'd only ever had four more nights, and maybe not even that.

Itwas too much misery, too much curdling mess in her thoughts, and Louisa was deeply grateful when she finally returned home late that afternoon, back to her familiar land, her familiar house. And best of all, to Joan and Elise and Gladys and the children, who'd all rushed outside to meet her, their faces bright with excitement and relief.

"We were so worried about you!" Elise gulped into Louisa's shoulder, squeezing her tight. "We thought the orcs murdered you!"

Louisawinced and awkwardly patted Elise's back, but beside them Joan was wryly smiling, and shaking her head. "Yeah, and then that Halthorr showed up last night," she said, with a roll of her eyes. "And said he'd gotten word from Killik that you'd be staying overnight, so he was going to guard us in your absence. And then he slept right outside the damned front door, all the night through!"

Louisablinked — had Killik really taken the time to send word back, amidst all that? — but then chuckled, and asked whether they'd offered Halthorr breakfast, at least. Which apparently they had, much to the children's delight, because it turned out Halthorr had forgone utensils in favour of only eating with his dagger, and had then made a show of using it to toss bits of egg into the children's mouths, with only partial success.

Bythe end of the tale, even Elise was reluctantly smiling, and Gladys urged Louisa to come in for supper, and tell them everything she'd seen at OrcMountain. "And also," she said, looking Louisa up and down, "you need to tell us how you got all this dashing new finery!"

Louisalaughed and allowed herself to be hauled inside, and soon she was regaling them with a slightly edited version of her visit to OrcMountain, focusing particularly on all the different rooms, and the school, and the gigantic shop, and the healer she'd met who might have been magic.

Itmade for a lovely, cozy evening together, enough that Louisa could almost forget the tightness in her belly, the quiet nagging at the back of her thoughts. But once they'd all finally said a cheerful goodnight, and she headed up to the attic alone, it all seemed to creep back again, bitter and lonely and sad.

Itmight be — over. Finished. Forever. Not even four more nights. No more sweet Ulfarr, no more snarling Killik. And why did the thought of losing Killik hurt nearly as much as the thought of losing Ulfarr, and why the hell did she even care? And why the hell had Killik gone and kissed her like that today, when he damn well knew it was probably over, knew he'd never see her again…

Louisadrew in a shaky breath, rubbed at her stinging eyes — and then caught sight of her writing desk, with its ink and paper and quill. And wait, she'd promised Killik she would write Ulfarr a letter, and that was something, some tiny tenuous thread to cling to. A way to at least say goodbye.

Shesat down at the desk with genuine relief, and lit her lamp, drew over the quill and a fresh sheet of paper. Dear sweet Wolf, she wrote, her hand only slightly unsteady.I wanted to express my deepest regrets for not saying a proper farewell to you —

Whensomething — thudded. Behind her. And when Louisa whipped around, her heartbeat surging in her chest, it was — Killik. Killik, leaping through the now-open window, and landing on the floor in a smooth, graceful crouch.

Louisa'sbreath choked, her eyes locked on his familiar rising form, the daggers glinting in his hair. And that glint of his eyes in the shadows, too, the flash of his sharp white teeth, because he was — smiling. Smiling. At her?

"Ach, do not look at me so shocked and blameless thus, woman," he said. "For we both know what a shrewd vicious harpy you are, ach?"

What? Louisa sputtered and attempted a frown at him, while her heartbeat kept kicking, her eyes roving over his lean muscled body, the gleam of his bare chest in the lamplight. He was here. He'd come back. Hers.

Butno, no, that was ridiculous, and she hauled in a breath. "I have no idea what you're talking about," she snapped back. "And have you never heard of a door? Or of waiting to be invited inside?"

ButKillik was still smiling, even warmer than before, and he shrugged as he sauntered over toward her. "Ach, no," he said, as he peered over her shoulder, his eyes blatantly sweeping down her letter. "AndWolf shall be glad to see this, I ken. Finish it, and I shall take it to him this eve."

Take it to him this eve. Louisa twisted to better frown up at Killik's face, at that still-twitching smile on his mouth. That… that happiness. As if…

"What do you mean, this eve?" she demanded. "Where is he? Shouldn't he be all the way back at the mountain? Even you and all your unnatural sneaking couldn't get back there that quickly, and…"

Andoh, the way that warmth sparkled in Killik's eyes, quivered on his mouth. "Ach, but he is no more at the mountain," he said, his voice far too light. "He is now at the camp, with Sune. Where he shall stay for the next fortnight, until Simon and Maria come to visit, and review his work here."

At the camp. A fortnight. UntilSimon and Maria came to visit.Louisa's gasp sounded much like a yelp, her eyes searching Killik's smug, happy face. "You mean it? It actually worked?!"

Hervoice came out far too loud, but Killik was still smiling, and even rolling his eyes. "Ach, no, it was a rank failure, woman," he replied. "Wolf is only here in spirit, mayhap. Or mayhap he has forever abandoned the clan, and resolved to instead become a Ka-esh."

Buteven the sarcasm sounded warm, almost soft on his voice, and without at all meaning to, Louisa leapt to her feet, and hurled her arms around him. "Oh, I'mso glad, Killik," she said, muffled, into his chest. "How did it happen? Why?"

Killik'sbody briefly stiffened against hers, but even as Louisa made to back away, his hands belatedly clamped closer, stroked up and down her back. "Ach, I wonder why," he drawled, his voice vibrating through his chest against her, feeling almost like a chuckle. "There was this vicious harpy, you ken, who stood before those with the most power amongst our kin, and threatened them with ousting our camp, if Wolf could not be there."

Louisachoked a laugh, even as she yanked back from Killik again, and attempted a glare up at his face. "I didn't threaten them!" she protested, as primly as she could. "I only — informed them of my position. And — reminded them of my rights, as the owner of these lands."

ButKillik laughed too, low and easy and approving. "Ach, only thus, woman," he replied. "All these pretty words, even speaking them with your hands, Drafli said, whilst also gripping your knife, and reeking of rage. And drawing upon your kinship with the captain's mate, and calling upon Simon's failings as Enforcer, and reminding Maria that she should be far gladder not to see Wolf each day. Whilst also" — Killik's voice lowered — "speaking so fiercely of how Wolf has helped you, and gained your trust. Not — pushing or gaining this for him, but only speaking of what he has already done. Showing him as strong and able and faithful, and willing to make amends."

Louisa'sbreath shuddered from her throat, her body sagging back into Killik's warm steady strength. "It was all true," she managed, with a shrug. "It wasn't — anything I did."

Shecould feel the huff of Killik's chuckle on her hair, the spasm of his fingers on her shoulder. "No, naught you did at all," he said lightly. "And after this meeting, when Jule stomped off to fetch Efterar, and took him to heal Wolf at once, this was naught of your doing, either."

Louisajerked back again, clutched at his arms, searched his warm shimmering eyes. "Really?!" she demanded. "And did it help? Is he better?"

Killik'sthroat convulsed, and he twitched a short nod. "Ach, much," he replied, without even a trace of sarcasm in his voice. "I — I near forgot how he scents when he is not in pain, or how easy he laughs. EvenSune scented it at once, and has scarce left his side since. And before we left" — Killik's laugh sounded thick this time — "Sune and his little packmates dragged us to the shop, so we might buy you more gifts. Those crafty Grisk and Ash-Kai had a stack of costly garb just waiting for us."

He'djerked his head toward the window, toward where there was an overstuffed canvas pack Louisa hadn't noticed before, with a generous quantity of black fabric spilling out the top. "Oh," she said numbly. "You — you didn't need to do that, Killik."

Killikscoffed, but it was halfhearted, almost rueful. "Ach, I did," he replied, "lest I wished my own son to fly into another rage at me, and again call me a slug. WhichI now ken" — he jabbed his claw at Louisa's face — "was your doing also, you meddling witch! Aslug?"

Louisa'slaugh felt shaky but genuine, her eyes dancing on Killik's face. "What, would you have preferred something worse?" she asked lightly. "How about a maggot? Or a tapeworm? Or maybe a limp little leech?"

Killik'seyes flashed, and he barked a low, incredulous laugh, shivering deep into Louisa's belly. "A limp little leech?" he demanded, though his voice was husky. "You wish to test me on this, woman? Wish to meet my leech?"

Louisacouldn't seem to stop grinning at him, her heartbeat skipping — and in a flash of movement, Killikgrabbed her. Grabbed her by the hips, and then spun her around toward the desk, facing away from him. Shoving her upper body down, and — yanking up her dress.

"Killik!" Louisa yelped, at the sudden, shocking sensation of cool open air on her legs, her arse, her — well. "What the hell are you doing?"

Killik'slaugh was low and triumphant behind her, and his booted foot kicked between her ankles, shoving them apart. "Ach, it is a great mystery, I ken," he drawled, and oh, that was the sound of shifting fabric, of his own trousers, oh gods. "Having a nap, mayhap. Or eating a picnic?"

Louisachoked and twisted around to glower at him, at where his eyes were gleefully glinting, and then dropping down to the sight he'd exposed between her legs. "Or sharpening my dagger, mayhap," he murmured, lower, as he shifted forward, and nudged himself just — there, into Louisa's opened, quivering heat. "Or digging tunnels."

Heraised his brows at her, the challenge glimmering in his eyes — and oh, oh, Louisa wasn't challenging it. Hell no, she wanted him, she needed him so much she felt dizzy with it. And he damn well knew it, just watching her like that as he slowly pushed in, opening her breath by breath, oh fuck.

Butthere was still something, something important, curse it, and Louisa fought to grasp it, even as she shuddered and moaned, felt her body clamp at his hard flesh steadily sinking inside her. "But — Ulfarr," she managed, her voice breaking as Killik's hips gently slapped against her skin. "Won't he — mind, if you — if we —"

ButKillik huffed a chuckle as he began drawing out again, his eyes hooded on the sight. "Ach, no," he replied, husky, as he slipped free of her with a soft squelch. "I asked his leave, before I came."

Wait, what? He'd — planned to do this? AndLouisa couldn't think, couldn't follow it, not with him already easing back inside, faster this time. "You — did?" she gasped, as her traitorous body gripped him tighter, maybe even shoved back deeper upon him. "And what — what did he say?"

Killik'shalf-lidded eyes flicked to hers, as his skin again slapped tight, his hard spasming cock plunged deep inside. "He said, Ach, pup, you ought to plough her, and grant her your joy," he replied, in a creditable imitation of Ulfarr's voice. "But seek to be gentler with her, this time."

Louisa'sbreath was heaving too hard, her body helplessly clutching against him, because — was Killikobeying? Was he obliging Ulfarr with this, being slower, gentler, Ulfarr had given him permission, Ulfarr had wanted this…

"I ken it pleased him, to be asked," Killik added, with a rolling shrug of his shoulder, as he slowly drew out again. "To have the right and the power to grant a woman as he pleases. To know he has offered up this womb for my ploughing, and for my good Skai seed."

Louisaattempted a snort back toward him, because of course Killik would be giving Ulfarr the credit for this, rather than the actual woman he was currently fucking — but then he drove back in, so hard she shook all over, a harsh gasp choking from her mouth. "You — absolute — fucking — prick," she gasped, as he dragged out again. "You — slimy — slug —"

ButKillik again broke it off with a swift, stunning slam in, swirling her full of sensation, of sweeping shattering strength. "And after I have finished with you, my foul-mouthed little harpy," he crooned, with another draw out, another sharp slam in, "and flooded you with my scent and my good Skai seed, I shall go back and tell Wolf the full tale of this, ach? I shall tell him" — his voice deepened as he drove in again, again — "how you shivered and shouted and squealed for me. How you begged me for my touch and my seed."

Godscurse this infuriating bastard, and his infuriating incredible cock, now plunging in and out of her, sparking more jarring jolting ecstasy with every driving thrust. "You — leech," Louisa managed, between gasps. "I will not beg you for anything, you — you —"

Butoh, hell, he'd abruptly stopped thrusting, and his warm sweaty body shifted closer over her, his hand slipping down her front. Rubbing at where she most desperately wanted it, moving in hard, perfect little circles, and she moaned and shivered against it, against the sudden shocking scrape of his sharp teeth against her throat.

"You shall beg," he murmured, a hot whispered promise. "You shall beg, woman, or I shall stop."

What? No. He wouldn't stop, he couldn't — but wait, he was already slackening his hand's touch, drawing himself out from inside her, damn it. "I shall stop, and leave," he breathed, even as he scraped his teeth harder against her neck. "I shall deny you all relief, lest you beg me."

Gods, Louisa loathed him, and she needed him, and he had no right to feel so good, to sound so good, to be everywhere, everything, trampling all her awareness at once. And she should be fighting it, she needed to fight it, to fight all this power he wielded over her, all the ways she craved him and longed for him, four more nights…

"Beg me, Louisa," Killik whispered, his fingers only a flutter now, his cock finally falling free of her. "Only say, please, Killik, and I shall grant you all you long for."

Oh. No, he didn't mean it, it was only four nights, he still wanted to walk away — but Louisa couldn't bear it. Couldn't bear to stop it, couldn't bear to lose any more of it, oh gods…

"Please, Killik," she choked. "Please, give it to me, all of it, please, please."

Hisgrowl in her ear was low and triumphant, almost a laugh — and then it all swarmed her at once. His fingers grinding, his mouth scraping, his cock again finding its place, and rooting itself slow and deep inside. WhileLouisa quaked against it, against him, quivering all over with the staggering strength of him, the ecstasy swirling out from him, pooling harder and deeper with every touch, with every grinding thrust. Until he was plunging into her again, both of them gasping with every sharp slam of hips, raw and reckless and rutting, closer and closer and closer —

Killikbroke before she did, his gasp choking as he shoved in even harder, plunged so deep it was pain — and then he shook, and surged out deep inside. Filling her with him, with his seed and his certainty and his peace, giving her all she longed for, in this perfect overpowering moment —

Andthen Louisa was the one shattering, shouting, breaking apart beneath him, shuddering into his beauty and his relief. He was so good, he was so fucking good, and she wanted to beg him, to melt into him, to drown in him.

Butsomehow, somehow, she kept it all clamped down inside, but for her shaking body, and her deep dragging gasps. AndKillik wasn't saying anything either, just breathing hard against her ear, his softening strength still faintly spasming as it ground deep inside.

"Ought to write Wolf's letter," he finally said, into her ear. "He shall welcome hearing from you thus, I ken."

What? Louisa twitched all over, but the shock and disbelief she should have felt were muted somehow, along with all her resistance. And she could only seem to nod, groping for the letter with one shaky hand, dipping the quill with the other.

Killik came to see me while I was in the midst of this letter, she wrote. He told me that you sent him, and that you wished to grant me joy. I want to reassure you that he has diligently followed your instructions, and —

Shepaused there, breathing hard, because her hand was still trembly, and Killik was still faintly pulsing inside her, holding there, waiting. Watching. Wanting her to do this.

And even as I write this, he is wielding his considerable Skai attributes against me, and taunting me. He is excessively enraging, and impossibly infuriating, and I can only hope —

Killik'sgrowl was low in her ear, not even close to a laugh this time, and Louisa shuddered, and made herself keep writing. I can only hope he will continue granting me such gifts, and offering me his strength and his scent.

Killik'sbody had slightly relaxed over her again, his cock gently swelling again inside her, and oh, he'd even begun pumping again, just small circling movements. "Write this to him also, woman," he murmured. "In your pretty words. As you feel this."

Godsdamn him and his overwhelming, overpowering body, his tempting voice, and the way Louisa wanted to oblige him, wanted him to be pleased, wanted him to want her. He is even now growing restive again, she wrote, and making certain I feel the same. I cannot help but long for more of him, for the way he stirs within me seems to set me aflame with yearning, and a growing need for…

Killik'sthrusts were hardening again, lengthening, the sounds now slick and sloppy between them, the hot fluid streaking down her thighs. For his deepening labours, and the promise of his further enrichment. For though he has already emptied his loins once, and poured out his blessings upon me, he is brimming with abundance yet again, and flourishing yet fuller, teeming and thronging within me —

Herquill scrawled sideways as Killik yanked her tight, and again sprayed out deep within her. Pulsing again and again as his hips convulsed, and his growl rasped deep into her ear. AndLouisa was moaning too, scrabbling helplessly at the desk, lost in the flashing floundering truth of it, of him, pouring her full of him, yet again.

Andwhen he slowly drew out again, releasing yet more hot fluid around him, and then sank back inside, she knew this was part of it, too. His slow, taunting thrusts, pumping brazen into his own slick mess, spreading it, leaking it, pooling it down her thighs, down his own groin, onto the floor…

And now I am again bursting with him, she wrote, with her shaky, tingling hand. He has borne so much fruit for me, I am utterly overcome. I cannot fathom a more —

Shehesitated again, wincing, because gods, what had she been about to write, to betray — but here was Killik's plunge in again, a gentle scrape of his teeth on her tender-feeling neck. And she hauled in more breath, strength from the desk beneath her, as she scrawled out the rest of it, as quickly as she could.

A more wondrous and generous gift. I only wish you were here to join us, sweetheart, and to praise your fierce lusty pup, and make him blush and smile at you. Much love, Louisa.

Sheexhaled as she shoved aside the quill, and squeezed her eyes shut. As if she could somehow pretend she just hadn't written that, that it was all just sitting there for Killik to read. For him to lord over her, or mock her, or…

Orto thrust something into her trembling hand. A clean-looking rag. And then he gave a firm pat to her hip, and slowly began drawing himself out again. Giving her enough time to shove the rag into place before he stepped backwards, and then swiped his clawed hand over her for the letter.

"Very pretty scribbling, woman," he said, his voice far too smooth, as he deftly rolled the letter into a scroll. "He shall enjoy this."

Well. Louisa attempted a nod as she awkwardly turned to face him, to where his trousers were already tied up again, his eyes not quite meeting hers. "And does — does this count as one of our four nights?" she asked, before she could stop it. "Or — or is Ulfarr still even able to see me? Did they — did they have an answer on that, too?"

Killik'seyes flicked to hers, and away again. "Ach, you yet have your four nights with him, woman," he said. "Ought to use them wisely."

Louisashould have been pleased by that — she was pleased by that — wasn't she? And that wasn't disappointment coiling in her belly, because she hadn't still been hoping that maybe — if Simon allowed it — maybe Killik would extend the four nights, once their deal was finished. Maybe he would just let them keep having this, enjoying this, especially if Ulfarr was here at the camp…

"So you're only here for a fortnight, you said?" Louisa asked, her voice thin. "UntilSimon and Maria come to visit?"

Killik'seyes met hers again, and he nodded. "But just as you asked, I ken this visit is to… judge Wolf," he replied. "To witness his camp and his work. And if he can prove himself, show himself worthy and faithful and true, then mayhap" — his throat convulsed — "mayhap they shall allow him to stay."

Thehopefulness flared back into Louisa's chest, so strong it was almost painful. "And what about the rest of it?" she asked, high-pitched. "His place in the clan? His title? His right to take a mate?"

Killik'smouth twisted, his breath exhaling slow. "Mayhap that also," he said, lower. "We must put on a good show, I ken."

A good show. The warmth flared up with the hope, because if anyone could put on a good show, it was Killik, right? But the longer Louisa searched his eyes, the more she realized he was — nervous. Uncertain. Maybe even afraid. He'd worked for so long, for so many years, and now the prize was so close, just within his reach —

Orperhaps about to be lost forever. BecauseSimon had already judged Ulfarr harshly once, hadn't he? He'd taken away Ulfarr's pack, his title, his happiness, his hope, even his health. And did he have the power to take more? To make it even worse?

Louisaswallowed hard, took a shaky breath. "ButI hope Ulfarr's healing is permanent, at least?" she finally asked, hollow, into the silence. "He won't need to bear the pain anymore?"

Killikshook his head, and something shifted in his eyes as he huffed a slow exhale. "No, thank Skai-kesh," he said. "I ken he may never be the same as before, and his prick yet may never obey him as it once did. And his scenting was too broken to heal, also. But that is naught compared to the pain, and Efterar even said —"

Killikhesitated, his eyes again flickering, his shoulders squaring. "Efterar even said with more time, Wolf may yet be able to beget — sons," he continued, quieter. "Of his own blood and seed."

Oh. Something flashed up Louisa's back, flared behind her eyes, and her body snapped to stark, peculiar stillness. "Really?" she demanded. "Is that — something he actually wants? Somethingyou want? I thought you said you didn't want more children!"

Hervoice sounded too sharp, almost accusing, and Killik's eyes looked strange, distant, as he jerked a dismissive shrug. "Ihave no longing for this," he said, a little flat. "But should Wolf wish for this, ach, I should welcome this for him."

Louisa'smouth felt suddenly dry, her throat tight. And she somehow managed a nod, blinking hard at the sudden wetness pooling behind her eyes. Because that — that would change things. Wouldn't it? And maybe — maybe that put the limit, the four more nights, in an entirely new light. Because of course Ulfarr should have more sons if he wanted them, he was clearly a devoted and attentive father, and why were Louisa's churning thoughts suddenly trapped on Sune, running alone and bloody across her lands, looking so uncertain when she'd told him Killik cared for him. Maybe. I'm not sure.

"Right," she finally said, into the stilted, empty-feeling silence. "I'm — very happy for Ulfarr. And for you."

Butwhen she glanced at Killik's face, he didn't look particularly happy, and he'd even snapped up a hand to pluck out one of his daggers from his topknot. "Ach, well," he said, as he watched the dagger spinning in his fingers. "We shall not need to think of it for some time yet, I ken."

Oh. Well. And that was something, some small hope to cling to — and maybe it still wouldn't happen at all, right? Maybe it still wasn't even possible?

SoLouisa inhaled and nodded, and held her eyes on Killik's spinning dagger, too. "So will I — see you again soon, then?" she asked him, hoarse, and though it was giving him too much, she just needed to say something, anything. "You'll be staying at the camp too, right?"

Again, it was too much, too damned betraying, and she didn't miss Killik's twitch, and then the clutch of his fingers snapping the dagger to stillness again. "Ach, I shall," he replied, with an arch of his brow. "And so shall you, woman. Every day."

What? Louisa blinked at him, at that familiar glint in his eyes, the curve on his mouth. "We now only have a fortnight to put on this show," he said flatly. "To ready the camp for Simon's judgement, and seek to regain Wolf's name, his hope, his life. And this" — he jabbed the dagger toward her — "was all your doing, woman! So ach, you shall come to the camp each morn, and help us, until this is done!"

Helpthem. Killik wanted Louisa's help. For an entire fortnight. And she couldn't hide the lurch of eagerness, the sudden delighted grin on her mouth — and before she could catch it, she lurched toward him, and reached up for his cheek. Felt him go sharp and still all over, but not protesting, not resisting, as she bent his face down, and brushed his lips with hers.

Andgods, she shouldn't be doing this. Shouldn't be letting herself feel this again. The roughness of his lips, the sweet heat of his breath. That slick, thrilling touch of his tongue, slipping brief but certain between her parted lips…

Butthen he drew back again, his eyes intently fixed away from her. As if it was still too much, too presumptuous, too betraying. But curse it, he already knew, didn't he? Louisa had written it all out for him in plain damned ink, called him a wondrous and generous gift…

Butit still didn't mean anything, it was still only four more nights… or was it? Show me. Prove this to me…

SoLouisa ignored Killik's distant eyes, his tight mouth, and instead drew herself straight, drew in breath from the earth. She would face this. Fix this.

"I'll see you first thing in the morning, then," she told him, with only a faint waver on her voice. "And we'll put on a damned good show."