Chapter Twenty

Lucas and I didn't talk about that day after he performed the spell. There seemed to be no solution, and my grief was insistent she wasn't going to walk away. What a bitch.

The best I could do was ignore her, and maybe she'd disappear on her own.

I knew the best way to take my mind off all of it was to dive into fiction. On Sunday, I asked Lucas to bring me a book from the library. He'd brought a whole stack, but I'd already read most of them before. I found a few I hadn't read and binged them all day. I was already on my third book that evening, and it had to be my favorite so far—not because it was good, but because it was laughably silly.

The whole premise of the book was that this woman had mind-blowing sex with a ghost in her sleep, and she'd learned from a psychic that the ghost had since possessed a man but lost his memories. But it was okay, because the man he'd possessed was a bad guy who'd been shot and killed, and the ghost had possessed an empty vessel. To find the ghost—who was apparently the love of her life—she had to gather clues about him and then fuck the guys who fit the bill until she found the one who made her toes curl. Apparently once they made love, his memories would be restored, and they could live out their days happily fucking until they died. Or in his case, died again. The whole thing was ridiculous, and yet I couldn't put it down. I tried to stifle a laugh as I read the passage.

The man from the bar brought her into the bedroom and tossed her onto the bed. Her skirt rode up around her thighs, tickling her sensual areas. She was already turned on. He realized with a thrill that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His trembling member turned hard so fast it broke the zipper on his jeans, and he tossed the pants aside. She took one look at his rod and knew it was going to be the best pleasure stick she'd ever ridden. She was certain the man from the bar was the erotic ghost she'd encountered two months ago. His Johnson was everything she'd dreamed it to be.

He leaned over her and whispered seductively, "Do you want me to make you come, sweetheart?"

"Yes," she begged. Her nipples became hard immediately. "I want you to fuck me hard."

He shoved four fingers inside of her, ravaging her with his vigorous touch?—

I burst into a fit of laughter. This had to be the silliest thing I'd ever read. If Lucas ever came at me with four fingers and a vigorous touch, he'd be waking up with a black eye.

Lucas sat beside me on the bed, reading one of the books I'd recommended to him. "What's so funny?"

"Paranormal erotica," I giggled. "It's hilarious. The author refers to his junk as a trembling member and pleasure stick."

"Oh?" Lucas cocked a curious eyebrow. "Would it be any better if the author referred to it as a magic wand?"

I nudged him playfully. We had a bit of an inside joke going about that one. "You're not going to get the full effect unless I read it to you. Listen."

I restarted the passage, reading it out loud. I stopped at the part where he shoved four fingers inside of her.

Lucas set his book aside. "Keep reading…"

Obviously, he wanted to see how much worse it could get.

She tried not to scream, because the neighbors would hear. She bit down on the pillow, but the man from the bar ripped the item from her hands and threw it across the room.

"You don't have to hold back for me, baby," he said. "Scream for me. As loud as you can. Scream my name."

She didn't know his name. She only knew one thing about him, and that was that he was a god in bed.

"Oh, God!" she screamed, begging for mercy.

"You want my willy inside you?"

"Yes, God, yes!" she begged.

He laid down beside her, and she screamed because she thought his ten-inch meat sword was a one-eyed snake. She grabbed it to throw it off the bed, and he howled.

"Oh, sorry," she said, before settling down and opening her legs?—

"Oh, my Goddess!" I cried. Tears of laughter streamed down my face. "I didn't think it could get any worse, but it does."

Lucas chuckled and ran a hand down my leg. "Maybe we need to show these characters how it's done."

My eyes caught something further down the page. "Someone needs to, because it gets even worse!"

He spread her labia and rammed his massive pecker inside of her. She gasped and moaned as his dong moved circles inside of her.

"John Thomas is the name," he whispered…

I couldn't continue. I was gasping for breath now because I was laughing so hard. "Would it hurt… to just… say dick?"

Lucas's eyebrows shot up. "We're concerned with semantics when his cock is literally moving in circles? Is he part helicopter?"

I laughed even harder. "Wait, cock is a good word, too."

Lucas smirked as his hands inched up my legs. "His cock grew hard in wanting…"

"Oh?" I set my book aside. "She became wet at his touch."

Lucas's hand moved between my thighs. "He didn't care much for the paranormal erotica, but the excitement in his wife's eyes turned him on. He wanted to take her right here."

I bit my lip as I eyed him up and down. His white t-shirt stretched across his muscled torso, and heat pooled between my thighs. "She wanted him, too, but she was self-conscious because she hadn't bathed all day."

Lucas kissed the side of my face, his breath tickling my ear. I loved it when he did that. "He didn't mind, but rather suggested they take a bath together."

My eyebrows shot up. "Really?"

Lucas smiled but didn't break character. "That is what he suggested, yes."

"Hold on." I picked up my novel again. "Did this scene turn you on?"

Lucas sucked a breath between his teeth. "That would be weird, wouldn't it?"

"You didn't want me to keep going to see how bad it got," I teased, swatting him playfully with the book. "You wanted to see how good it got."

Lucas kissed me again, so sensually I could easily forget what I'd been saying. "Well, I was obviously disappointed."

"What was it that did you in?" I snickered. "It was the word willy, wasn't it?"

Lucas smirked, and that was all the answer I needed.

"We can't have that," I said. "She gently set the book aside and asked him to help her out of bed."

Lucas stood and came around the side of the bed. "He did as she asked, for she was his queen."

I got a thrill in my stomach hearing him say that. It was so sweet.

Lucas helped me out of bed and into the bathroom. He flipped on the lights, then dimmed them as he led me to the jet tub. He poured some bubbles on the bottom of the bath, then twisted the faucet.

"He turned on the water, which reminded her of warm summer days," he narrated. "She thought back to the waterfall they never got the chance to make love in."

I laughed, loving every second of this. "But the waterfall quickly drifted from her mind when he dropped his pants. All she could think about was his massive eggplant."

Lucas practically ripped the button of his jeans as he pretended to recreate the scene from the novel. I was giggling so hard I had to sit on the side of the tub.

"She couldn't take her eyes off his bulging muscles," he teased as he pulled his shirt over his head. He flexed his biceps for me.

"Oh, yes," I agreed playfully. "He was so turned on by her breasts that had grown to the size of cabbages, due to her raging pregnancy hormones."

Lucas nearly choked on his own laughter. "He quickly reminded her she was supposed to be narrating better than the paranormal erotica nonsense that had turned her on only moments ago."

I covered my mouth as I snickered. "But in fact, it was he who was turned on by the man from the bar's trouser snake."

Lucas lifted my nightgown above my head and dropped it to the floor. "She was delusional."

My gaze darted down to his hard on. "And yet he was so ready for her."

Lucas shot me a charming smile as he took my hand. He stepped into the tub, then helped me in. Neither of us said anything as we sank into the warm water. Lucas leaned against the back of the tub, and I rested my back against his chest, letting my head fall against his shoulder. Bubbles surrounded us, and they smelled of lavender. I felt so relaxed.

"This tub is perfect," I said dreamily.

"Yeah, I'm sure we're not the first to fuck in it," he teased. Lucas found a bar of soap on the lip of the tub and rubbed it in his hands, then spread the suds over my neck and shoulders.

"Mm…" I relaxed deeper into the water.

Lucas ran his hands up and down my arms, before sliding them across my tender breasts. I'd grown over a cup size during my pregnancy, but he was so gentle with them that they didn't hurt at all. His cock grew even harder against my back.

Lucas ran shampoo through my hair, massaging it gently into my scalp. I hadn't realized how much of a tension headache I had until he started massaging me. The tub was large enough for me to lay down in, so that he could rinse the suds from my hair. I sighed blissfully as the tension eased out of every muscle in my body. He found the sugar scrub Mandy had made me and massaged it over my hands, until they were silky smooth.

Warm water dripped down my body as Lucas kissed the side of my neck. I tilted my head so he could run his lips over my skin. Tingles spread down to my toes, putting me more at ease. It was a perfect, intimate moment.

Soon, my wanting for him became too much, and I took his shaft in my hand and began pumping. Lucas got a hungry look in his eyes, and he placed his hands on my hips, then positioned me atop him, my back to his front. He thrust upward, taking me from behind. The first thrust made me gasp, and I grabbed the edge of the tub for support. Water sloshed around us, and we both gave a little giggle.

Lucas slowed, moving gently inside of me. His hand dipped between my legs, and I couldn't stop the moan that escaped my lips. I was loving every second of this.

Pleasure built up inside of me, and Lucas increased his speed. I reached my peak, and the most relaxing sensation burst inside of me, tingling down to my extremities. Lucas gasped as he thrust one more time, and he held me close as he came inside of me.

We sagged into the warm water together, letting out a collective sigh.

Lucas pushed my wet hair back and kissed the side of my face. "How do you feel, darling?"

I kept my eyes closed as I answered, "So, so relaxed."

We stayed in the water for a long time, until we started getting cold. Lucas helped me out of the tub and wrapped me in a warm bath robe. He fluffed the pillows on the bed and laid me on my left side, before running lotion over my arms and legs. My wedding ring felt tight on my hand, but when Lucas massaged my fingers, it felt better. Every touch was gentle, every caress sensual. I felt so at peace.

I closed my eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep.

I didn't know how long I was out, but I woke suddenly when Lucas gave a start. His breathing slowed quickly, like it was nothing more than a bad dream. He was still out cold.

Night had fallen, and the moonlight shone in through the windows. I rubbed my blurry eyes to get them to adjust to the darkness. I checked the clock to see it was already eleven o'clock.

A mild cramp deep in my belly prompted me to get out of bed. Slowly, I sat upright, giving myself a moment to breathe—which was becoming more difficult the bigger the twins got. One of the twins must've had a foot shoved under my right ribs, because it was really uncomfortable there. I got out of bed and waddled to the bathroom.

When I returned to the bed, Lucas stirred awake. "Everything okay?"

"I've got a stomach bug or something," I said.

He sat up straighter. "Vomiting?"

"No, I just have weird cramps," I told him. "It's nothing to worry about."

Lucas relaxed and moved closer to me, snuggling his frontside against my back. He draped his arm over me, holding my belly. I loved it when he did that. It made me feel so safe and protected.

Half an hour passed, and I couldn't find a comfortable position. I watched the clock and waited, but I couldn't fall back asleep. The moonlight seemed to darken, taking on a reddish hue. I placed my hands on my belly beside Lucas's and started counting kicks. The baby on my right was active and moving. The one on my left must've been sleeping, because I didn't feel any movement there.

My cramps worsened. I winced and shifted in bed. Lucas sat up straight in bed, never once moving his hand off my belly.

"Are you doing that?" he asked.

"Doing what?"

"That thing with your stomach. It's… hard. I think you're having a contraction!"

I scoffed. "It's just Braxton-Hicks contractions; they're normal. There's no way I'm in labor. We just hit thirty weeks. The babies can't be coming this soon…"

I trailed off as my eyes landed upon the incubators across the room. My stomach dropped. "Dear Goddess."

I went to sit up, but as I shifted, I heard a pop. Water gushed between my legs.

Tears of panic welled in my eyes. "It's too early!"

Lucas tossed the covers off himself so fast he was practically a blur. "I'll get the hospital bag and tell the others."

"Find Isa," I begged. "I need her."

It was unusual for Isa not to sleep by me. She must've gotten locked out of the room.

I didn't want Lucas to leave my side, but as the next contraction hit, the room seemed to disappear around me. I curled onto my side and squeezed my eyes shut tightly as the wave of tension washed over me. The pain was intense, and I couldn't believe I'd been lying in bed for thirty minutes in labor and hadn't realized it.

I couldn't wrap my head around how it was even possible to give birth this early. Luana had said the babies should be born closer to thirty-six weeks, unless complications arose. My preeclampsia was only mild?—

I cut off mid-thought when I realized that I'd overlooked those symptoms as well. I was so used to being sick that something as simple as a headache or blurred vision didn't even register as out of the ordinary. Swollen hands were a normal part of pregnancy, so I hadn't thought that my ring being tight was anything unusual. The pain below my ribs had barely seemed like an inconvenience.

It was silly to think that all of this went over my head. I'd been showing symptoms of worsening preeclampsia all day, and now, I was going into labor. I had the thought that I couldn't trust myself to know what was happening with my own body. If I'd been more cautious, I'd have recognized something was wrong, and we might've been able to prevent this.

A horrifying thought hit, and I hoped to the Goddess I was wrong. The baby on the left wasn't moving. I thought he was asleep, but what if…?

The contractions were intensifying, and I couldn't organize my thoughts much beyond what my body was doing.

I heard clamoring all throughout the house. I was almost certain everyone must've awoken when they heard the commotion. Someone touched my shoulder, but I didn't know who it was. I shrugged them off. I wanted to tell them not to touch me, but I couldn't find my voice. Another contraction hit me, and it was like my whole body was being squeezed by an external, magical force.

"Nadine." Verla's kind voice brought me comfort. I opened my eyes to see her standing above me. "It's time to go to the hospital. We have to get you out of bed."

I couldn't fathom the thought of moving from where I lay. I feared if I did, I might collapse and never get back up. All I could manage to do was shake my head.

"If she can't talk already, she's pretty far along," I heard Onyx tell Lucas. "How long has she been contracting?"

"I—I don't know," Lucas stammered. "Less than an hour."

I heard shuffling near the medical equipment in the corner, then the snap of a glove.

Onyx appeared above me. "I'm going to check your cervix. Are you all right with that?"

I nodded.

Onyx pulled back the covers and gently moved the fabric of my bathrobe aside. She placed her fingers inside of me, which would normally be weird as fuck, but in the state I was in, I didn't mind at all. In fact, all I could think was that I was too hot and I just wanted to get rid of this bathrobe; I didn't care who was in the room. I stripped it off and tossed it to the floor.

"She's already at five centimeters," Onyx said calmly, though I was certain she was the only calm one in the whole room. "It looks like precipitous labor—meaning it's progressing quickly. In cases like this, mothers give birth within three hours after contractions begin, but it could be sooner. Lucas, you need to portal Luana back here now."

"It's almost midnight!" Lucas panicked. "Luana won't be at the clinic."

"Then find her at home," Onyx ordered. "I don't care where you look for her—just get her here. Go!"

"No!" I heard myself cry. I reached for Lucas and clung so tight to his arm that he couldn't go anywhere, even if he wanted to. I pulled him toward me, until he knelt at my side.

"Stay," I begged as tears beaded in my eyes. "One of the twins… he's not moving."

Lucas's features went stark white. It was all I could manage to tell him. I couldn't speak the truth out loud. Deep down, my intuition told me something was very wrong.

Lucas must've felt it, too. "But Talia saw us holding both babies in her vision. She felt Dean there with Marcus in the future."

"Felt him," I emphasized. The reality hit me harder than the contractions. Talia had felt Dean fighting alongside Marcus in her vision, but that didn't mean he was there in physical form. It could've been his spirit she recognized.

I knew without a shadow of a doubt that's exactly what it was. I was naturally intuitive, but the intuition I felt as a mother was beyond comprehension. I needed no one to confirm it.

There was nothing we could do. Dean was already gone.

"I felt him," Lucas realized, and his voice became hoarse. "In my dream. His last thoughts weren't words, but a feeling. I hadn't realized what I felt until now… He loved us both. So much."

"You have to bring him back," I begged.

"I can't," Lucas said hollowly.

"You brought me back," I reminded him.

"Under extraordinary circumstances," he said. "Even all the magic in the coven can't bring the dead back to life. You'd have to be god-like to do that."

I trembled as my grief began to take over. My grief was wrong to say I had a choice to let it consume me, because it already had.

"I have to get a doctor," Lucas told me desperately.

I didn't want Lucas to go. I reached out for him, but he was already gone. A soft hand met mine instead. My whole body shook as I squeezed Verla's hand.

It's too soon,I wanted to tell her, but I couldn't speak. I trembled as my body contracted, as if I could stop the labor and reverse it.

Verla knelt at my side and pushed my hair from my face. "I know you're scared, but I'm here for you. We all are."

Her words were so comforting that some of the tension in my body actually eased.

"You're about to meet your baby boys," Verla reminded me.

I tried to focus on that, because I couldn't think about alternative realities right now. If I lost myself in it, I didn't know if I'd make it out of this alive.

"You can do this," she encouraged. "Women give birth all the time. We're built for this."

Verla drew a deep breath, and I copied her. My breath wavered on the way out, but my panic began to subside. I had to compartmentalize my grief for now, because my babies needed me to focus.

All right, boys,I told them silently. We're going to do this. Together.

Verla squeezed my hand again, assuring me she wasn't going anywhere. "I remember when your mother gave birth to you."

I thought she was trying to distract me, which was nice.

"It was a beautiful birth—only six hours long," Verla continued. "You came out eight pounds, two ounces. Your parents were thrilled. I led your mother through a birthing meditation. Wouldyou like me to do the same for you?"

I'd never known Verla had been at my birth. It was comforting to hear in my time of need. I wanted to ask her about it, but all I could do was nod.

"Close your eyes and listen to the sound of my voice," Verla instructed. "You're in the midst of a beautiful transformation. Your body is strong, and it's doing exactly what it's meant to. Release all tension in your shoulders, your arms, and your legs. There is nothing you have to do, because your uterus will do all the work for you."

As the next contraction came, I willed my body to remain relaxed. I was shocked at how much better it felt. It was still painful, but it was easier to detach myself from the fear.

"Your babies are coming at the perfect time," Verla said gently. "Recall that your boys are meant to become demigods—born of two talented supernatural parents beneath a significant astrological event. A full lunar eclipse has begun."

I could hardly believe it. I forced my eyes open and looked out the window. Verla was right. The red light from the moon I'd noticed before had been the beginning of the total eclipse. I could see the moon from where I lay, looming high in the sky. It had become a deep red color.

"Allow your boys to arrive, just as they planned," Verla said softly.

I had been terrified of the boys being born too early, but this was exactly as it was meant to be. It was comforting to hear Verla speak of the boys arriving together, as if this was all part of a cosmic plan. Even if Dean wasn't going to make it, I was still bringing him into the world tonight.

This was his time—what little he had—and he needed me right now.

I completely relaxed, and though the pain in my belly was intense, I welcomed it.

"Breathe," Verla reminded me, and she guided me through the next contraction.

A portal bloomed across the room, and Lucas and Luana raced through. "We're here!" Lucas cried. I didn't know how long it'd taken him to find Luana, but it seemed like forever. It was probably only fifteen minutes, but my contractions had grown even more intense in that time.

Lucas rushed to my side, while Luana hurried toward Onyx, who already had a pair of rubber gloves ready for her. The pair of them moved in sync. They didn't need to be able to speak the same language, because the medical staff in a birthing room seemed to have a language all their own.

"It's okay," Verla told Lucas. "It's exactly as it's meant to be."

She gestured out the window, and when Lucas saw the eclipse, his shoulders relaxed. Relief entered his eyes as he knelt by my side and took my hand. "Our demigod babies… We're about to become parents."

I nodded as pure joy filled my chest. A moment later, a pain deep in my abdomen overtook my joy, and I winced. I still lay on my side. Lucas quickly situated himself on the bed behind me to rub my back.

His touch was like magic. He pressed down firmly on my lower back, and so much of the pain eased. It was nothing like I expected. All I had to go by was what I'd seen in movies, and it usually depicted the mother screaming at the father for all the pain she was in. I couldn't imagine feeling any animosity toward Lucas. He was everything I needed right now, because this was the moment that our family grew from two to four, and I wouldn't have it any other way. This moment was so, so beautiful.

In fact, it was so beautiful I barely noticed Luana checking my cervix. She held up eight fingers, indicating I was almost fully dilated. I couldn't believe how fast I was progressing. Contractions had only started forty-five minutes ago. Onyx had said my labor was progressing faster than normal, and she hadn't been exaggerating.

"Go get Chloe and Talia," Lucas ordered someone. "We need them to interpret."

I heard worried voices across the house. At first, I thought they were terrified for me—that I'd gone into labor so soon. Then I heard the sound of the front door slamming, and the voices stopped. Everyone had rushed outside, though I didn't know why.

Moments later, the sound of shouting came from far in the distance, yet too close to the safe house for comfort. The blast of exploding battle orbs shook the house.

"What's… happening?" I managed to rasp out.

"Nothing to worry yourself with," Verla said as she rushed into the room. I hadn't even realized she'd left my side.

She dropped her voice as she spoke to someone, thinking I couldn't hear, but I honed in on her words. "Chloe and Talia aren't available right now. Executors are at our borders, but the others have gone to fight them off."

"Tonight of all nights?" Onyx asked incredulously.

It was obvious. The Executors were coming to take my babies. I didn't know how they knew to come tonight, but my intuition told me exactly why they were here.

And yet somehow, I believed Verla was right. I didn't have to worry myself with that right now. My friends had three of the Oaken Wands, and they would obliterate any Executors who came our way. Outside, there would be carnage and death, but right here in this room, I would give life.

The Executors fell from my mind. All that mattered was what was happening right here.

Another half an hour passed, and the contractions became even more intense and closer together.

I felt the urge to push. I rolled onto my back and Lucas was right there to hold me. He was sitting on the bed, and he wrapped his arms around me as I leaned against him. I squeezed his hand as an intense contraction rippled through my abdomen.

"That's it!" Onyx cried happily.

"He's crowning!" Verla added with excitement.

The whole atmosphere of the room shifted. Their celebration seemed infectious, and though this was one of the most difficult things I ever had to do, I felt incredible joy.

"Another push, Nadine," Onyx encouraged. "You're doing great. Five… four… three… two… one…"

I pushed until she reached the count of one, then paused to catch my breath. Tears sprang from my eyes. I couldn't believe I was about to meet my baby boys.

"One more push," Onyx said.

I looked up to see tears of joy streamed down Lucas's face. He was so in the moment, so focused. It was beautiful.

Lucas squeezed my shoulders. "You've got this."

Complete peace washed over me. I couldn't imagine anything that could bring me closer to my husband or to our babies. Another contraction squeezed my belly, and though I pushed, I was completely and utterly relaxed.

Relief swept through me as the baby emerged, the magic of the moment unmatched by any spell I'd ever cast before. I looked down to see Luana holding a very tiny, squirming little boy. I couldn't believe how small he was. He couldn't be more than four pounds. Lucas hugged me close, and my whole body shook as I cried tears of joy.

"Marcus," I whispered. "He's so little."

Verla looked at the clock. "May sixteenth, twelve-eleven a.m. Born at the peak of the eclipse."

"He's not crying," Lucas panicked. "Why isn't he crying?"

Luana placed two fingers on Marcus's chest, and a white glow filled his little body. Still, no sound came. I had the horrifying thought that he wasn't going to make it, either.

Luana came around the side of the bed and placed Marcus straight on my chest. Our skin connected, and Luana draped a tiny blanket over Marcus's back. The feeling of joy when I touched my son for the first time was unmatched. Marcus curled his tiny legs upward and snuggled close to me. I didn't want this moment to ever end.

Luana tried her healing magic again, placing her fingers on Marcus's back. A beautiful glow filled the room, only this time, it wasn't just her magic. The skeleton key I wore around my neck emanated a powerful white light, as if it too was working to heal him. I hadn't taken it off since Lucas put it around my neck the day I tossed my memento box across the room.

I was shocked. Grammy had said this key held a protection charm, but that never made sense, because it hadn't protected us before. It was clear in that moment that this was so much more. Grammy had said the key wasn't meant for me, and I realized now that's because it was meant for Marcus.

The most glorious sound broke from Marcus' lungs. It was so quiet, but that tiny little cry was everything.

"That's it, baby boy," Lucas said gently. "You're so strong."

I started to cry in relief, but gasped as another contraction hit me. Luana quickly handed Marcus off to Onyx, and Verla already had gloves on to help. Across the room, Onyx worked at the incubator, hooking Marcus up to all kinds of wires and tubes. I couldn't be more grateful for my birthing team. Because of them, Marcus had a fighting chance at life.

Sweat dripped down my brow as I gave another big push. Suddenly, our baby Dean came into the world. It was over so quickly. I couldn't believe how fast it all happened.

Everything seemed so quiet at that moment. My body sagged against Lucas, feeling so relieved. Small contractions continued, but nothing like it was before.

Luana must've known since the moment he arrived that Dean wasn't going to survive. I was certain she had felt it with her magic, because she didn't try to resuscitate him. She simply wrapped Dean up in a blanket and placed him on my chest. She let us cry over him as we held his little body close. Dean was even smaller than Marcus, and he was precious in every way. Lucas placed his hand on Dean's back, and together, we let the tears flow.

People poked and prodded at me, but I barely felt it. All that mattered was this tiny little boy in my arms. He was so perfect.

Lucas ran his fingers over Dean's tiny little arms. When I looked up at my husband, he had the most loving look in his eyes. He didn't even look sad; he looked so, so in love.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

Lucas shook his head. "You have nothing to be sorry for. You did great."

"My body didn't do its job," I sobbed. "If I'd been healthier, then maybe we would've had more time with him. I didn't see the signs…"

"You can't blame yourself, Nad," Lucas insisted. "Sometimes babies die, and it's part of life. It's the worst part, but this is a process of death."

I stroked the little hairs on the top of Dean's perfect little head, and I realized that as much grief I felt from losing him, I felt so much more love. Nothing could have prepared me for how deeply I loved these boys.

"I'll always remember you, baby boy," I whispered.

I kissed the top of my baby boy's head, and that deep love I felt for him intensified. It was so overwhelming that I wasn't sure it was all my own, as if my love had quadrupled.

I realized then that it wasn't all mine. It was mine, it was Lucas's, it was Marcus's, and it was Dean's. Though Dean wasn't in this body, I could still feel him here in this room.

"He's not just a memory," I realized, looking up to Lucas. "He's an energy. Even though I know people live on after death, I always thought they moved on without us. It doesn't work that way, though. We can still have our loved ones with us at any time. We can spiritually reach out to them. It's not going to be the same, but they can still be here. Not just in memory, but in spirit."

Lucas seemed comforted by my realization, because he completely relaxed beside me. "You're right. We'll always be a family—not the three of us, but the four of us."

"No matter where he goes after this, he's a part of our life now," I agreed.

I shuddered to think of everything we had lost. We hadn't just lost an infant—we'd lost a toddler, a kid, a teenager. We lost birthdays and Halloweens. We lost all the hugs and kisses, and everything in between. We'd never get to see him fall in love, attend his wedding, or have children of his own. We'd never get to see him grow close to Marcus and be brothers, like they deserved to be.

But none of that made his existence meaningless. We'd had thirty wonderful weeks with him, and we would always be his parents. As much as this hurt, I would still go through it all over again… just to hold him in this moment, and to be with him for the short while we had.

"It was worth it," I told Lucas. "I want to honor him and throw him a celebration."

Lucas stroked Dean's cheek with the back of his hand. "We will. Our baby boy will get the proper sendoff he deserves."

Lucas and I snuggled with Dean for a long time while the others cleaned up. Blood soaked the sheets, but Verla worked around us to change the bedding and mattress liner. I barely noticed any of it as I took in these precious moments with our baby boy.

After Luana checked over Marcus and took his vitals, she wheeled his incubator to the side of the bed so the four of us could be together. I wanted to hold him so badly, and though he was close, he still seemed so far away. His incubator was merely a see-through box, with only holes for our hands to touch him. He was hooked up to all kinds of tubes and looked so fragile.

Onyx helped me into a clean robe and pulled a fresh blanket over us just before I heard multiple pairs of footsteps outside the room. I lay in Lucas's arms, with Dean wrapped against us both.

"Are you up for visitors?" Verla asked.

"Yes," I said. "They can come in."

Verla opened the door and welcomed the others inside. Everyone was here, except Miles.

"The perimeter is clear, and the Executors have all been eliminated," Professor Warren told Verla in a low voice.

"The reaper woman showed up and got rid of all the Executors, though she left before we could explain what was happening here," Mandy added. "She saved us, and we're safe now. Miles suffered an injury to his arm. He's out of it, but he's in bed resting."

The others remained quiet, and the atmosphere was melancholy. I was certain they'd all heard the news already.

Grant's eyes locked on Dean, and tears flowed down his cheeks. "I'm so sorry. It shouldn't have ended up like this."

Lucas sniffled, holding back tears. "It's okay, you guys. Dean's still here with us."

Chloe and Talia stood side-by-side, and the end of their Wands began to glow. Chloe shot Luana a questioning glance. It was obvious by her expression that Luana had much to tell us that she hadn't yet been able to communicate. Luana nodded kindly.

"Luana says there's nothing you could have done," Chloe said, conveying for the doctor. "Dean died in utero, and that's what triggered labor. After you were poisoned, it seems like your body was unable to filter all of it out naturally, and some of it went to your womb. Dean absorbed the poison in your body, so that Marcus could live—he saved his brother. You couldn't have detected this or known it was going to happen. This was beyond even Luana's power to fix."

Grant began to sob. "I can"t believe this. I gave you that rotten ginger, and it caused all of this. I took your baby"s life."

"No," Chloe said quickly, interpreting for Luana. "That can"t have been it. Dean was a supernatural child, and for him to choose to take the poison in Marcus"s place, it had to be a magical poison that he absorbed willingly. Otherwise, it would"ve affected both twins."

"Executors have been snooping around the safe house for months," Mandy pointed out. "Maybe they slipped past our wards somehow and poisoned Nadine."

"It's got to be," Chloe agreed. "They certainly know where we've been hiding, and they've been waiting for the right time to strike."

Grant wiped his eyes as his sadness was replaced by anger. He cracked his knuckles. "We're going to find whoever did this and kill them."

Talia placed a gentle hand on his arm. "That"s not important right now. We can investigate later, but the damage is done, and Lucas and Nadine need support. We need to focus on them right now."

I didn't want them to focus on me, because right now, Marcus needed attention most. "We weren't sure Marcus was going to make it, either, but he's doing well in the incubator."

"Three pounds, six ounces," Lucas added.

"Luana says he's stronger than most," Chloe told us. "His demigod powers helped heal him. She can't usually heal a premature baby, because her powers are limited by the body's own systems. Most preemies don't have the strength to heal themselves. But demigods can generate their own energy, so their powers combined made him stronger. She estimates he'll be out of the incubator in just a few weeks."

"That's our boy," Lucas said proudly.

There was one thing I didn't understand, though, and I spoke up. "I'm so happy he's all right, but I don't understand how a baby can have this kind of power. His powers won't awaken until he's older."

"His full potential won't be unleashed until he's of age," Verla confirmed. "But a demigod child like this is overflowing with power. He may discover hints of power here and there before he comes into his full power."

I looked up to my friends. "Do you guys want to come and meet them?"

Warren and Mandy stood on one side of the bed, while Talia and Grant came around the other side, near the incubator. Talia couldn't take her eyes off Dean, and she was trying to hold back tears.

"It's okay," I told her. "You can cry."

She sniffled. "I'm just sad I never got to meet him."

"He's here with us," Lucas said. "If you want to say anything, I'm sure he'll feel it."

"Can I sing him a lullaby?" Talia asked.

I stroked Dean's head. "Of course."

Everyone gathered in close, and Talia began singing a traditional Miriamic lullaby. After just a few notes, everyone else joined in.

Sweet baby, sleep quiet

Sweet baby, don't cry

Sweet baby, just listen

To this lullaby

Sweet baby, you're so loved

Sweet baby, you're fine

I won't let you go

‘Til morning light shines

I couldn't explain the energy that filled the room when our voices came together. There were so many tears, but so much love. I kissed Dean's soft little head again, then shuddered. He was wrapped in a blanket, but still so cold.

"What's wrong?" Grant asked.

I pointed across the room to the top of the dresser. "Can you bring me Dean's hat?"

A chill traveled down my spine. The meaning of my words were clear, though nobody said anything. I was certain that we could all feel that it was time to say goodbye.

"And the onesie there," Lucas added.

Grant brought over the clothes, and he helped us dress our little boy for the first time.

Verla's voice cracked, and she held up a small gift bag. "I didn't think I'd be giving you this so soon. I got the boys something."

"You didn't have to," Lucas insisted as he took the gift bag. He pulled out the tissue paper and withdrew two leather-bound books. "Grimoires?"

"They can be whatever you want them to be," Verla said. "Grimoires, photo albums, journals—it's up to you."

I had the thought that whatever we put in Dean's book, he'd never get a chance to read it. But maybe he didn't have to read it to feel it.

I took one of the books from Lucas's hand and gave it back to Verla. "I want you all to write in it. Send Dean a message—tell him how loved he is. Then pass it on, and we can all fill the pages."

"That's a lovely idea," Professor Warren said kindly.

Chloe stepped forward. I noticed she was holding a camera, the same one Talia had used during our wedding. "If it's okay with you, Talia and I would like to take some pictures."

It was so nice of her to suggest, because these moments were all we had of Dean, until we met with him again. It was sad to think of all the things that could've been, but so beautiful to think of the things that would someday come to pass. One day, we would cross over to Alora, and we would be reunited with him again. For now, these pictures would be all we had of him on Earth. It would be the last time we'd get to see, hold, or touch our baby boy until our souls moved on, so we needed these photographs.

"Yes, please," I told Chloe.

Everyone left the room except for Chloe and Talia. Talia helped position the babies on our chests. She did her best to hide Marcus's tubes, while Chloe snapped photos of our family. It was a beautiful moment, one that I never wanted to end.

"I'd like to get a few of Dean and Marcus together, just them," Chloe suggested.

I didn't want to let Dean go. I felt like I"d lost a huge purpose in my life. I wanted to be a mother, but a mother to twins, not a singular child. I still loved Marcus, but I didn"t understand how I was going to tell him that his twin was gone once the time came.

I wish I could"ve died in Dean"s place, and that he could"ve lived, but Mother Miriam didn"t see it to happen that way. We"d lost Dean, but he hadn"t lost the fight… he"d taken that poison down with him, to protect his brother until the end.

I had told my grief that she needed to get out of my life, but she insisted she wasn"t going anywhere. I understood now. This pain was never going to leave. The worst thing about this wasn"t Dean"s passing… it was that he was going to stay gone, and he wasn"t coming back. I"d never get a chance to do all the things I"d dreamed of with my son. Every day for the rest of my life, I"d wake up and continually have to say goodbye.

This whole thing felt unbearable, and it was. I feared I was going to die from my grief, if not for the people around me. I felt isolated, because no one here knew exactly how I felt except for Lucas. My husband was the only person who would know exactly what it was like to say goodbye to our son when we should"ve been celebrating his life.

I couldn"t bear to feel any longer, so I forced myself to go numb. I had to focus on Marcus now, because he was my reason to keep going.

I had to depend on my community now. They were all I had now. They wouldn"t fill the void that Dean had left, but they"d make this burden easier to bear. Because Lucas and I would never lay this burden down, not until we died, and no one could carry it for us. But our community could help us, so some way or another, we would pull through.

There wasn"t any way to make this better, and there wasn"t any way to make this hurt less. But perhaps there was a way to keep existing through it, because grief hadn"t given us any other choice.

I sobbed as I handed Dean over to Talia. The girls quickly took a few photos of the boys, then placed Dean back in my arms. Lucas put Marcus back in his incubator, where he was safest. My sobs grew quiet, but tears continued to leak out of my eyes.

Lucas ran his fingers over the tiny tuft of brown hair at the top of Dean's head. "We're so glad we got to be your parents."

"You're the sweetest little thing," I whispered to Dean. I knew wherever he was, he had to be able to feel me.

We sat there for a long time, until Lucas quietly whispered. "It's time to say goodbye, Nad."

I knew he was right, but I didn't know how to say goodbye. I didn't think I could.

I kissed the top of Dean's head and whispered, "We'll be with you again, baby boy."

Lucas took Dean in his arms, but I still couldn't bear to let him go. I knew that once I did, I was never going to hold him again. My hands lingered on him just a little longer, and then he was gone…

The moment was over far too soon. Lucas stood with Dean in his arms. He didn't have to tell me where he was going with him, because I already knew. Lucas held Dean close as he left the room.

Verla was waiting at the door, and she came back in when Lucas left. She helped me to the bathroom so I could clean up in the tub. I moved slowly because I was sore, but I wanted to get back to Marcus as soon as possible.

After washing up, I dressed in the nightgown Verla had set aside for me, then returned to the bed. I rolled over to watch Marcus in his incubator, and I couldn't get over how perfect he was. I was able to put my hand through one of the holes and touch his tiny fingers.

Verla pulled up a chair to sit beside my bed.

"I'm sorry you had to go through this," she said softly. "Losing a child is not something I wish upon anyone. I know all too well there's nothing I can say or do to make this better, but please know that I am here for you. Whatever you need—anything—you let me know. I mean it."

"It all just happened so fast," I said without taking my eyes off Marcus. "You're the only person I know who can understand what Lucas and I are going through."

"I do," Verla replied kindly. "When I lost my son, I had no one. At the time, I was so confused, and I didn't know what to think. I think I had to go through that to know what I was up against, because no one helped me, but now I can help you. I like to think it was meant to happen this way, because your baby Marcus is important, and so are you."

"Did you ever get clarity?" I asked.

"I don't know if anyone can provide us all the answers," Verla admitted. "What I've come to learn is that some of us have to die so others get to live. Dean loved his brother even in the womb. That's how powerful love is. We give ourselves up for the ones we care about."

"He really did love him," I agreed.

I paused a beat before adding, "What was your son's name?"

Verla hesitated, like she wasn't used to people asking the question. I wasn't sure she'd ever told anyone, to be honest. It was like his name was sacred, so special and loved. I wasn't sure she was going to answer.

"Allyn," she finally said. "He was named after my father."

"That's a beautiful name," I told her. "A beautiful name for a beautiful baby boy."

Verla turned to Marcus with a sad look in her eyes. I didn't mean to hurt her with the question, but I understood why it would bother her. One day, someone was going to ask me the same thing, and I could only imagine what it would do to me.

"I know you lost your child, and that"s a devastating thing, but you still have Marcus and he"s a great blessing," Verla said. "I know you"ll tell him about his brother and never forget about him."

I was really sad Dean was gone, but at least I had Marcus. Verla didn"t have anyone.

I stroked his fingers with my thumb, and Marcus's fingers curled around mine ever so slightly. My heart melted, and I knew there would never be a greater love than this. "He's the greatest blessing of all."