Chapter 26

"Istill want to punch you in the face," Thomas announced over a month later, staring straight at Leo.

The others around the table didn't react. Newt thought Leo would ignore Thomas like he usually did, but he sighed tiredly and dropped the cards in his hand to the table.

"I know… You tell me at least once a day."

Unbeknownst to Newt, Thomas held grudges, and when he said he wanted his fist in Leo's face, he meant it.

Bull dragged a chair to the end of their table and sat on it backwards. "If it bothers you that much, get it over with, and let Thomas punch you."

"That's not happening," Newt said.

Bull turned to Shaw standing on the stairs, surveying the wing like it was his kingdom. "That's alright with you, isn't it?"

"Is what alright with me?"

"Thomas wants to punch Leo in the face."

Scott shook his head. "You can't punch someone who's had a heart attack."

Thomas narrowed his eye. "Why the hell not?"

"You might dislodge something."

"That's why I'll be aiming for his face."

"I'm fine with it," Shaw shouted back. "As long as it's a clean punch. Nothing below the belt."

Leo sighed and pushed to his feet. "Let's get this over with."

"Absolutely not," Newt said, following on his heels as Leo stood in the middle of the wing. Thomas got up, rolling his shoulders as he squared off against Leo.

Newt squeezed between them and spoke over his shoulder to Leo. "You're not seriously going to let him punch you?"

Leo shrugged. "If it will stop him scowling at me, yeah."

"Thomas. Me and Leo are good," Newt said. "We talked. We've sorted things. I'm happy, see?" He pointed to his smile.

"He still upset you. I still had to see you crying in my bed…and not for the reasons I have fantasised about."

"Thomas," Scott chastised "You added too much subtext. You want to punch Leo because he hurt Newt. That's all you had to say."

"If you want to hurt Leo, you'll have to go through me," Newt announced, crossing his arms.

Thomas shook his head. "I don't have to go through you, I'll go over. You're a foot shorter than him."

Newt lifted his eyebrow. "I'm planning on jumping."

Thomas rolled his shoulder, presumably for his swinging arm. Newt bent his legs in preparation.

"That's hardly fair," Thomas said. He turned to complain to Shaw. "He's got a bodyguard."

"He sure has," Newt replied, smiling brightly. He turned around to beam at Leo, which was the moment Thomas chose to punch him. It was quick, caught in a half blink, Newt missed most of it. Thomas's fist momentarily squished Leo's cheek and caught one of his nostrils. Leo didn't cry out or cup his face; he continued his emotionless glare at Thomas.

A trickle of blood ran from Leo's nose onto his lip.

Newt swayed.

"Fuck," Leo said, catching Newt before his knees could give out. "I didn't think that through."

"I'm okay," Newt murmured against Leo's chest.

"What the hell just happened?" Bull asked.

Scott snorted. "Thomas punched Leo in the face, but somehow, Newt took the brunt of the impact."

Bull rubbed his chin. "That's some voodoo magic right there, I've heard about it with identical twins, you know, they feel each other's pain, but never lovers."

"We're lovers," Newt told Leo, slightly punch-drunk despite not being the one that took a fist to the face. "Love. Ers."

"We are," Leo agreed. He sat Newt down on the edge of the table before wiping his nose on his sleeve. "And you managed not to pass out."

"Go me."

Thomas admired his knuckles. "I have a feeling that hurt me more than it hurt you."

Shaw wandered down the stairs. "Mr No Pain," he said. "Huh…I think I get it now; that's your thing."

"Thing?" Bull glanced between Leo and Shaw. "You mean his freaky zombie illness?"

"Thanks for that," Leo deadpanned. He cupped Newt's cheek. "How you doing?"

"I'm okay."

"You can't feel any pain?" Scott asked.

Newt waited for Leo to announce he couldn't, but he hesitated and looked at Newt when he replied, "Not physical pain, no."

Bull perked up in his chair. "So I could hit you all day, and you wouldn't feel it?"

"Not a thing."

Scott wagged his finger at Bull. "But remember, his pain channels through to Newt."

"Voodoo."

"Exactly." Scott smirked. "And hurting Newt is like?—"

"Consuming a nest of a baby birds," Thomas said.

Scott eyed him. "With you, I don't know whether that's good or bad."

"Baby. Birds," Thomas said slowly. "Consuming anything in baby form is considered bad. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"They're my friends," Newt told Leo, still jittery and not all with it because of the fresh blood dripping from Leo's nose. "My. Friends."

"They are," Leo agreed, wiping his top lip again. "And aren't they the weirdest bunch you could've come up with?"

Newt smiled. "I think they're perfect."

"Aww, Starman," Shaw said, ruffling Newt's hair. "We think you're perfect too, all accept your taste in men." He winked at Leo who rolled his eyes, then resumed looking Newt over.

"All of you," Newt said, with tears in his eyes. "You're the best thing that ever happened to me."

"Holy shit, Thomas," Shaw said, leaning in closer to get a good look at Newt. "How hard did you hit him?"

"I hit Leo, not Newt!"

"You really are the strangest people I've ever met," Riley remarked. He had his arms crossed and his head tilted, watching events unfold. Jude stood beside him with a fond smile.

"I think I've met weirder," Jude said. "Did I ever tell you about the neighbours and the pear trees?"

Riley glanced at him. "No."

Jude opened his mouth, about to divulge all, but Scott shut him up by pointing at Riley's hand and asking, "Who's the letter for?"

"Oh." Riley looked down at it.

Bull's, Shaw's and Leo's smiles faded, and Thomas lowered his gaze to the table.

"It's for Newt," Riley said, holding it out.

Newt took it. "What is it?"

Riley didn't answer, nor did Jude. Scott was the only one that looked as clueless as he felt, but the others seemed to know. Newt opened the letter, whipping his eyes back and forth as he scanned the page all the way to the bottom where his release date had been typed in bold.

His breath hitched. He brushed his thumb over the date, trying to smudge it, but it was printed and he couldn't.

"It's great news," Shaw said, breaking the silence. He squeezed Newt's shoulder. "Your brothers must be eager to have you back."

Bull's nod began slow and small but got more and more exaggerated. "And just think, you can have a decent meal for the first time in eighteen months."

Shaw snorted. "So you're finally admitting you're a terrible chef?"

"How many times," Bull snapped. "I don't cook the damn food. I just serve it and pick out the cockroaches."

"You can go back to the bakery," Scott said, and Newt had never heard him sound so small. "Start serving cakes again." He smiled, but it was fragile, and he quickly looked away.

"And your cat," Thomas said. "You can finally take him for a walk."

Scott frowned. "You don't walk cats…do you?"

He directed the question at Newt, but he still couldn't speak. There was sharp and spiky pain in his chest, and it was making it difficult for him to do anything except stand there with his unblinking eyes on the bold letters at the bottom of the page.

Shaw answered for him. "Not usually."

"But it does need fixing at the vet," Bull said. "I heard it bleat down the phone like a breathless lamb."

Bull hadn't believed Triton could make such a noise, so Newt had to prove it.

"And just think," Bull said, "You get your own space again, no more sharing with zombie illness guy."

"You know my name is Leo…"

"And no more seeing our ugly faces every day," Thomas said.

"Or my pretty one," Scott added.

"Newt," Leo whispered. He'd taken hold of Newt's wrist. "Talk to me."

Newt could meet his eyes. They'd been golden moments ago, shimmering with amusement as Newt had told him they were lovers. He knew if he looked again, they'd be serious. He could feel everyone looking at him, trying to work out what was going on in his head, but he didn't even know himself.

"Hey." Leo stroked his thumb against Newt's fluttering pulse. "It's okay."

Newt lifted his head. He'd gripped the letter so hard he creased it. "I don't want this."

He glanced Jude's way, stealing a guilty look at him, but he didn't look angry or sad. He lowered his gaze.

"I like it here," Newt whispered.

Bull slapped his hand to his thigh and stood up. "I've got this."

"You've got this?" Shaw repeated, not masking his scepticism.

Bull ignored him and came to stand by Newt. "You've got a life out there, Starman."

"So have you, but you keep coming back."

"Don't even think about it for a second." Bull wagged his finger. "When you get out, you're staying out."

"Hypocrite."

"Sure am. I have six angry wives out there, and not a lot else. In here, I've got a job I enjoy?—"

"Despite being awful at it," Shaw muttered.

"I've got friends." He glanced at Shaw. "And yeah, they might not be much, but I care about them more than I care about anyone on the outside. And I've been led to believe…they care about me too."

Shaw opened his mouth, a coy smile on his lips, but whatever he was going to say, he decided not to and nodded instead.

"Then you understand why I want to stay," Newt said.

"More than most," Bull agreed. "But you've got a life to go back to, one you love. Your brothers are waiting, and so is your pathetic-sounding cat, and you've got to promise me you'll not be an idiot like me and try to come back here. You've got to promise to move on from us."

Newt pressed his lips together, knowing he couldn't promise that. He didn't want to.

"Get back in your cells!" Jenkins shouted from the gate. "It's lock-up."

Leo didn't let go of Newt's wrist as he led him back to the cell. Newt had always known he'd serve eighteen months, but that time felt indefinite until bold letters declared almost brutally the day his life would get flipped on its head again.

He'd got used to his new life.

Leo didn't push for him to talk. He made their tea like he always did, and Newt washed their mugs once they were done. They lay side by side, only getting up to get ready for bed before climbing back onto Leo's bunk.

Leo lay down on his back, and Newt sprawled over the top of him, ear to his chest where he could comfortably listen to his thumping heart. Fingers brushed through Newt's hair, stroking his fringe back.

Leo used the forefinger of his other hand to trace the star Welsh had recently shaved back into his hair. Most nights, the touches were a sure way of getting Newt to drift off, but the letter had robbed him of any comfort he felt from Leo.

"You ready to talk?" Leo said softly.

Newt exhaled against Leo's T-shirt. "Eighteen months felt like such a long time when I was in the sweatbox. I can't believe it's almost over." He swallowed. "I don't want it to be over."

"Bull's right, you have a life out there?—"

"But I've got one in here too. One with you." Newt pressed his finger to Leo's pec. "I don't know what's going to happen when I leave."

"You don't know?" Leo murmured. "Well, I do. You're going to go back to your brothers, cuddle up with Triton, and if, and only if you want to, start working at Stud Muffins?—"

"But what about us?"

"I was getting to that," Leo said. "You're going to visit me as often as you can. And you'll write, and we'll talk on the phone."

"It won't be the same."

"No," Leo softened his voice. "It won't be, but it'll only be for six months, and then your life will flip on its head again because I'll be out and you'll be waiting. Rain or shine, you'll be at the front gate, and I will give you the biggest hug."

"Yeah?"

"Yes, Newt."

Newt pushed off from Leo's chest and straddled him. He leaned down and kissed him hard on the mouth, so hard his lips went numb. He kissed Leo's cheeks, and his chin, and his forehead, and his nose. Leo cradled his face the entire time, letting him, and in one case, allowing a nip to his chin.

"Still not out of the biting stage?"

Newt laughed. He sat up to wipe his eyes.

Leo watched him. "I love you, Newton Briggs."

"You arsehole," Newt croaked.

Leo widened his eyes. "What?"

"I'm trying to stop crying, and you say that?"

Leo smiled and sat up. He brushed a hand over Newt's hair, then surged forward to kiss him.

It was soft and sweet, and Newt let out a content sigh.

"I love you too."

* * *

Newt's last eight weeks passed in somewhat of a blur. The routine didn't change, but Newt found himself clinging to Leo more and more at night and keeping their kisses long, and slow. There were even a few times when Leo's body responded, and Newt had got to enjoy rocking his body against Leo's and waiting for the soft way he spoke Newt's name, awed and a little shaky.

It wasn't the end goal of their kissing, but Newt got his fill of Leo's fluttering eyelashes and the bob of his throat when it got a little too much for him. It was…empowering, and Leo sorted himself out afterwards, cleaned up, then rejoined Newt in the bed for cuddles.

Newt knew there would be a last night.

There had been a last month, week, and day, but he feared the last night, and when it came, they both lay in bed facing each other, not talking, just occasionally leaning in to kiss each other.

Newt reached beneath the pillow and pulled out Neptune on the chain.

"I want you to keep it safe for me."

Leo's lips popped open. He began shaking his head. "I can't?—"

"I want you to give it back to me when you get out of here," Newt said.

"I can't—what if I lose it?"

"You won't," Newt said softly. "I'm willing to bet you'd probably guard it with your life."

Leo didn't deny it.

"Bring it back to me." He held it out to Leo, and after a moment's hesitation, he took it.

Newt smiled. "I love you, Lenard Nori."

Leo cringed. "Never use my full name again."

Newt laughed as he buried his face into Leo's chest, taking a deep breath of him.

Shaw, Bull, Thomas and Scott were waiting for him outside the next morning, and it was only due to a firm finger wag from Shaw that Newt didn't burst into tears at the sight of them.

"I don't want to leave."

Which was both a lie and the truth and so painfully confusing Newt scrunched up his face. He wanted to collapse in Stone's and Mickey's arms, and see Triton, and go to Stud Muffins, but he didn't want to leave.

"Don't be ridiculous," Shaw said, pulling Newt close by the shoulder. He crushed Newt in a hug. "I don't want to see this red-headed mop in here again."

"I thought you said my hair looked good."

Welsh had redone it the day before. Newt had the whole solar system shaved into his hair, starting from his left ear and ending at the right. He'd used more ink than before and took a polaroid snap to stick it to the wall of the cell. Now, that's the Starman, he'd said, beaming. Leo's fingers were stained for stroking Newt's hair all night.

"It does." Shaw pressed his chin to the top of Newt's head. "And if you do end up inside again…you know you've got a place here."

"Providing you're still the top dog," Bull muttered.

Shaw released Newt. "Not thinking about challenging me, are you?"

"I'm not that stupid." Bull stole a quick hug from Newt. "Look after yourself." He glanced over his shoulder at the huge queue forming at the door to the servery. "Don't come back." Bull squeezed him one last time, then bolted, yelling at the impatient prisoners.

Thomas held his hand out. Newt shook it.

"I find hugs too…gushy," Thomas explained before letting go and allowing Scott room.

"I'm going to visit," Newt promised. "And write…"

Scott pressed his lips into a grim line. He slipped his arms around Newt's back and held him close. He smelled faintly perfumed, and Newt breathed him in. "Who else can I ask all my sex-related questions to?"

"Your brothers," Scott said by his ear, sounding uncharacteristically small.

"I'd rather ask a sexpert, but more than that, I'd rather talk to my friend."

"You don't have to?—"

"I want to. I gave you my address. The minute I'm gone, write me out a visiting form."

Scott didn't say anything.

"I'll make sure he does," Thomas said. He looked at Scott. "I always thought it would be hot to see you teary-eyed, but apparently not."

"Sorry to disappoint you." Scott snorted, finally letting Newt go. He braced his hands on each of Newt's shoulders. "Take care of yourself, Starman."

"I will, and we're meeting up as soon as you're out."

Scott looked away. "Maybe."

"Definitely," Thomas said, darting looks between the two of them. "He means definitely, but he's too afraid to say it."

"Are you a mind reader now?" Scott sighed, letting go.

Riley, who'd been watching them from the gate, strode over. "Ready?"

"No."

Another lie and truth all at once. He glanced back at Leo who had distanced himself from the group. He leaned against the wall by their cell, giving Newt what could only be describe as a wavering smile.

"This sucks," Leo spluttered.

"It does," Newt agreed.

Jude was inside E-wing and went to stand beside Leo who scrubbed his hands down his fast reddening face.

"Come on," Riley said softly to Newt, leading the way.

Other inmates called out to Newt, Greaves and his friends, a few of the more friendly prisoners he'd gotten to know during his eighteen months inside. It was a surreal moment, and just like the first day he stepped onto the wing, he punctured his plastic bag with his shaking fingers and his knees went to jelly.

Riley steered him by the elbow, making sure Newt was putting one foot in front of the other. "I know on your first day I said I wished I'd seen you throw up and faint, but I didn't actually mean it."

"I'm okay," Newt murmured. "That's a lie. But I promise I won't throw up."

When he glanced back, Leo and Jude were both gone, presumably in the cell. Leo had warned Newt only an hour before he might not be able to watch him walk away. He said the mere thought of it was making him ache inside, a pain he'd not felt before and didn't wish to feel again.

Newt was feeling the same pain.

Thomas started to sing, and it silenced everyone on both wings. The steel bars and doors seemed to add to his voice, helping it ring out. Riley walked by Newt's side, occasionally nudging him to keep going and grabbing his elbow to help Newt balance as he left the prison to David Bowie's "Starman" being bellowed operatic style by a man tattooed head to toe as a snake.