Chapter 27

The first visit was awkward for a variety of reasons. Stepping back into Brixton, all the officers greeted him. He had a search, but when he unbuckled his belt, the officer on duty waved his hands in horror and said he didn't need to drop his jeans.

The other visitors in the queue gave him strange looks, and after he explained he'd only been released himself two weeks ago, they avoided him all together.

Newt didn't mind.

He was led into the visiting room and shot a big smile at Riley who immediately came over. "Back already?"

"I missed this place."

It was a truth and a lie, and the headache the contradiction always caused throbbed at Newt's temples.

"Please don't be like Bull." Riley slapped his hand to his face. "I can't be personal officer to another Bull."

Newt took his seat, and along with twenty other visitors, he stared at the scuffed door that led to the prison corridor.

Newt took full responsibility for the first awkward moment. He practically rugby-tackled Leo in a hug, clinging on so tightly he started to worry the other visitors around them.

They sat down eventually.

Newt glanced at the table. "You can hold my hand across the table if you want."

Leo's eyes widened, and Newt wished he could've retracted his words, but then Leo held his hand out, palm up and Newt put his on top. Leo squeezed. Newt squeezed back. Leo's smile was so big and beautiful Newt had to glance away to gather himself.

"Is it good to be out?" Leo asked.

His eyes were all golden but started to dull the longer he looked at Newt. His hand slipped beneath Newt's until he could clutch his wrist. "Hey… What is it?"

"It's a yes and no question," Newt explained. "It's good to be out of Brixton, but at the same time, I miss being inside."

"It's only been two weeks. Give yourself time to adjust."

"I've barely left my room," he admitted. "I keep my door open so I know that I can leave, but I don't feel any motivation to. I spend a lot of time lying in bed with Triton, and even though I'm not anymore, I feel trapped, but I'm the one trapping me, and I don't know why."

The words tumbled out of him, ones he'd been planning on keeping locked up inside, but a few minutes with Leo and it all came out.

Leo tightened his hold on Newt's wrist, letting him feel the tether. When Newt pulled away, only a little, Leo resisted, and it was such a relief to feel that tug, Newt closed his eyes and breathed.

"It's okay," Leo murmured. "I've got you."

"I miss you."

"I miss you too. Like you wouldn't believe."

Newt swallowed. "I can't believe I'm complaining about being out." He glanced around the room. "It's pathetic."

"It's not. You've gone from having a set routine drilled into you, kept in a cage and shut behind a door, often with no warning or explanation, to being outside again. It's bound to take some getting used to."

"It's not just that."

"What else is it?"

"I miss being a someone."

"You are a someone."

"But in here I was a fostered younger brother, best friends to a sexpert, a secret keeper to a superstar, ear to a bullshitter, canvas to a hairdresser, and an us with my cellmate. I was more during eighteen months in Brixton than I'd been in my twenty-one years out of it, and now I'm just Newt again."

"Hey," Leo snapped, but there was a smile in his eyes. "How dare you insult the man I love? You're not just anything. You're Newton Briggs."

Newt smiled, but it was brief. "I have a life I can pick up, one that I enjoyed, but I'm hesitating, and I don't know why and Stone thinks I might be depressed."

"He said that?"

"No, not directly, but I can tell he's worried, but I don't know how to tell him what's wrong because I don't even know. It's overwhelming. Everything is different, but not gradually. It was like a switch has been flicked, and I don't know who I am any more, not when part of me is still here." Newt scrunched up his face. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to put a downer on this."

Leo leaned over the table. "It's good that you're talking about it. I want to help."

"I should be happy, Leo, but I'm not." He closed his eyes. "But I'm not unhappy either."

"Take it slow. You don't need to rush anything, and set yourself goals, small ones at first. That'll get you integrated back into the outside world."

"Like what?"

"Go for a walk, make a meal?—"

"I doubt giving myself and my brothers chronic diarrhoea is going to make me feel better." Newt narrowed his eyes. "Except Mickey maybe."

"Still haven't got him back for Triton's Jupiter photograph?"

"No. Or his awful book being in the library."

"I checked it out a few weeks ago. There's a really interesting theory about?—"

"Stop talking right now," Newt warned, yanking his hand back towards his chest.

Leo smirked and didn't let Newt go.

"How…how are things inside?" Newt asked.

"I've got a new cell mate. Peter."

Newt was quiet for a long time after that. Everyone talked around them, but Newt found himself mute. Leo never let go of him, and he didn't push him to speak either; he waited, stroking his thumb over Newt's fluttering pulse.

"That hurts," Newt whispered. "It's like…someone else is in our home."

"The cell wasn't our home, Newt, and I am coming home. It's just going to take me a little while, that's all, but I promise, whatever hoops Riley suggests, I'll jump through them to get back to you. I won't mess this up again. I promise."

* * *

The second time Newt visited, Leo froze in the doorway. He blinked, then blinked again before a shove from an impatient prisoner behind him got him moving.

"What the hell?" Leo asked, mouth agape as he pulled Newt into a hug. He leaned back and tipped Newt's chin up to get a good look at him. "What happened?"

Newt kept his expression completely neutral. "What do you mean?"

"What do I… Newt…you haven't got any eyebrows."

And that much was true. Newt was down a set of ginger eyebrows.

"Lost most of my lashes too."

"What the hell happened?" Leo asked, sitting down.

Newt took his seat. "I took your advice."

Leo's brow folded. "I don't remember telling you to shave off your eyebrows."

"You told me to set myself small goals, remember?"

"I remember."

Newt pointed to his hairless brows. "This is a direct result of that."

"Rewind," Leo said, tugging Newt's wrist. "Start from the beginning."

Newt took a deep breath and recounted the tale of how him and Robin lost their eyebrows to a pan fire, nearly burnt the whole house down, then hid out in the woods.

It started with a knock to his open bedroom door. Triton had already abandoned him, escaping out of the window he liked to keep open. Robin waved, and Newt had blinked owlishly at him, lying on his side with a pillow behind his back to act as Leo.

Then Robin had asked the infamous line, "Do you want to make a birthday cake?"

And like a rip-off of Disney's Frozen, Newt cut the bullshit and agreed to leave his bedroom, and step into the mysterious land of the kitchen in aid of Stone's birthday, and to follow Leo's advice.

Small goals.

Stone didn't have much of a sweet tooth, so Robin decided to make him a plain cake with flambéed pears and caramel sauce to go on top. The sponge didn't cause too many problems. Sure, half an eggshell went into the mix, and Newt may've added salt instead of sugar, but it at least went into the oven looking like a cake mix.

The problem arose when it came to them attempting to flambé the pears. Neither of them had ever flambéed anything before, and when the match kept going out, they added more alcohol, thinking that would fix the issue. Then Robin came up with the genius idea of igniting the pan using the stove itself, and Newt readily agreed, because what difference would it make, they just needed a little fire.

A little fire they did not get…

A fireball rose to the ceiling, burning their eyebrows clean off their faces, and in the following panic, Robin shoved the pan into the already-full-of-water sink, and the situation got worse.

They managed to get out, coughing and spluttering, and Robin called 999 for a fire engine. The house was spared, the kitchen was not, and Stone stumbled out of his car after arriving home, pulling his hair and repeating fuck over and over.

Doctor Stone and his overprotective tendencies came first. He checked both Robin and Newt over, patting them down, taking their pulses and listening to their chest, and once satisfied they were not about to die, he went over to speak to the firemen. One of them dropped a smouldering cake still in a tin at Stone's feet.

Robin had turned to Newt. "So…they're starting to laugh."

And he'd been right, the firemen were pointing at them and their startling lack of eyebrows.

"I'm going to hide out in the woods, wanna come?"

Newt had agreed it was the best course of action.

"How long were you out there?" Leo asked.

"Two hours," Newt said. "We spent the first hour hiding in a bush."

Leo chuckled and pulsed his fingers around Newt's.

"It wasn't all bad, though." Newt bit his lip. "We were out there so long it got dark. It was a clear enough night to see the stars, and I pointed out a few constellations to Robin, and it was nice. He listened to me rambling, never interrupting, and I think it was the longest I've spoken since I've been out. Then we snuck back and checked everyone except Stone had gone."

Leo peered at Newt's absent eyebrows across the table. "Are you sure they'll grow back?"

"I hope so. Mickey said I look like a red-headed ET."

Leo slapped a hand to his mouth to catch his laugh.

"And he still can't be in a room with Robin."

"What? Why not?"

"Imagine this," Newt pointed at his brow. "But on Robin."

The first noticeable thing about Newt was his hair, then his eyes, and then maybe his eyebrows, but they were thin, not as obvious on his pale skin, but the prominent feature on Robin's face were his serious, priest-like eyebrows.

"I see your point."

"Mickey can't keep a straight face around him, and Stone thought it would be a good idea to draw them on, but he used a permanent marker and now Robin looks like he's in a permanent state of surprise. He's refusing to leave the house and couldn't believe I was coming here looking like this." Newt squeezed Leo. "But it's going to take more than missing eyebrows to stop me from visiting you."

"Thanks." The edge of his mouth lifted into a crooked smile. "I appreciate it."

"Anything happen here?"

Leo rubbed his chin. "Nothing as exciting as a kitchen fire…although…"

"What?"

"Bull's on the medical wing."

"What?" Newt shifted forward in his chair. "Is he okay?"

"Last I heard, he's living it up with nurses and unlimited digestive biscuits."

"But what happened?"

"Thomas choked him out during our group session with Melody."

"He did what!"

Leo nodded. "Bull made one too many comments about Scott being an escort, and Thomas choked him out there and then. It took both Riley and Shaw to get him to let go, but don't worry, you know what it's like in here. It'll be forgotten by the time Bull gets back to the wing."

"How's Scott?"

"Not sure. He went red in the face and got quiet, then rushed back to his cell while Bull was being taken to the medical wing and Thomas was getting dragged to the seg unit."

"He must be upset," Newt whispered beneath his breath.

"He'll be alright, Newt. He's got Shaw, Thomas, and me looking out for him, even Bull too, when he's not being a complete arsehole."

"Which is most of the time."

Leo winced. "True."

* * *

"I wasn't upset," Scott insisted three days later when Newt went to visit.

"Leo said you turned red, went quiet, and rushed back to your cell."

Scott went quiet, and turned red, and Newt frowned at him, studying his reaction.

He didn't rush back to his cell, but he did glance back at the door as if he was thinking about it.

"Scott…"

"I had to sort myself out," Scott said as if that was an explanation.

"Because you were upset."

"No."

"Then what…wait…"

Scott hummed. "I think Thomas unlocked a new kink for me."

"You find people being strangled a turn-on?"

"Hey," Scott snapped. "Don't judge me. I saw what you were like on prison hooch, remember?"

"What?"

"Rubbing up against Leo and purring like a goddamn cat."

Newt threw himself forward onto the table. "That did not happen."

"It did, Newt. It so did. Bull was being a dick, and Thomas choked him out…on my behalf…for my honour. I know it might have escaped your notice, but it's slim pickings for any kind of sexual gratification in here, and I had to take the opportunity gifted to me by a hissing Thomas and his bulging biceps, so I dealt with the unexpected reaction in my cell at the first opportunity."

"Leo and the others thought you were upset."

"I'm happy for them to keep thinking that. This stays between us, and under no circumstances can you ever tell Thomas."

"I won't."

"Promise me, Newt."

Newt rolled his eyes. "I promise…"