Chapter 2

S on of a bitch, that hurt. Lying back in the dull grass of the Shadow Realm, I stare up at the blank grey sky and wait for the pain to leave my body. Well, that went great. Twisting a piece of grass through my fingers, I think back over what just happened.

Somehow, I managed to get back to the real world, but in my shadow form. No one had been able to see me or sense me, except for the weird moment where Killian seemed to look towards me. I would expect this in my shadow form, except my body had been left behind and I was unable to control my powers. As Killian had explained, Shadowborns usually just cease to exist when they are overwhelmed by their powers, their souls claimed by the shadow. So, how have I ended up stuck half in the real world and half here in the Shadow Realm?

My body has been in the real world for two weeks, without my soul. So this means I can't be dead, right? Sure, I looked pretty terrible, but I'd seen myself breathing and dead people don't do that. Although, I'm not sure how well a body can survive without its soul for that amount of time. I have to figure out a way to get back. I have unfinished business to deal with before the shadows can take me. Specifically, the men I've left behind.

Garett, my bear shifter and protector. Along with Tori, he's the closest thing I had to family here in the US. I've known him for years, although I only recently found out that he's been in love with me for most of that time. Well, that's what I keep telling myself anyway. I've been pushing away any romantic intentions from him for a while, telling myself it was just harmless flirting until recently, not ready to get into a relationship or wanting to ruin our friendship. Shifters are touchy and overly flirty by nature, and I'd convinced myself those lingering touches were just part of that nature. I finally gave into my suppressed feelings for him and had sex with him. I know I hurt him when I tried to push him away, not willing to admit to my feelings like he had. The only love I've ever known had either been a lie or lead to pain. I've been used and betrayed most of my life, so giving up that kind of control and allowing someone to care for me, to love me, was difficult for me to allow. When I pushed him away after we slept together, I knew I'd be causing him pain, but I thought I was saving him. I have done terrible things, and he deserves better than me. I finally realised how I felt about Garett when he was taken by my former pack and tormentors, the Shadow Pack. Only when I'd truly believed that Garett was going to be killed, did those feelings to make themselves clear to me.

I've learnt the hard way that love and trust are only something that will end up hurting you. The Shadow Pack had taught me that, my supposed family being a perfect example of this. Alpha Black, the Alpha of the Shadow Pack, being my father and behind my torment. As such, it takes a lot for someone to earn my trust. Garett has proven himself over and over again, but now I can finally see that. Just as I'm taken away from him.

Killian has been a constant source of surprise for me. Dark and brooding, he's an alpha male with trust issues nearly as bad as mine. He was the leader of a prosperous pack until he trusted the wrong people, and then the entire pack was killed by a Shadowborn. Lost and with nowhere else to go, he found refuge with the Moon River Pack. Although his alpha power was strong, he didn't choose to fight for the leadership of the Moon River Pack. Instead, he chose to remain separated from the others, living half a life as he mourned his mate and pack that were brutally taken from him. Then I came barrelling into his life, disrupting the solitary existence he'd created for himself.

It's safe to say that we didn't get along, and we still argue like cats and dogs. I smile when I think of how he would react to me calling him a dog, then I stop myself. Why am I feeling warm and fuzzy when thinking of Killian? The most stubborn and overprotective male I've ever met? Is it because I've come to truly care about him, or is it because of our ‘true mated pair' bond that was triggered not long ago? This rare bond is only triggered when you've found your soulmate. Things got very complicated as Killian fought off his prejudices against Shadowborn and the protective instincts the bond ignited in him. Especially because although I feel something for him, something that seems to be growing, where I shouldn't want to be with anyone else, I can't deny my feeling for the others.

Cue Seb. My adorable, flirty friend who welcomed me into his family with open arms. This is exactly what we were, friends, until he was threatened at a pack meet and I realised that my feelings went deeper than just that. I'm still not sure what I feel for him, but seeing him standing up for me and fighting to protect his family, even though he knew he was the weaker wolf, made me, and my wolf, realise we couldn't live without him.

I wonder what Seb is up to now. Probably bugging the hell out of Alex. I sigh as my thoughts turn to the beta. There's always been sexual tension between us, and perhaps that's all there is and a good shag is all I need to get him out my system. But a part of me says there's more to it than that. However, he's confusing. His moods go from hot to cold, giving me whiplash. One moment, he's the pack beta, the protector and enforcer who takes his role very seriously. The next, he's playful and flirty, which makes me wary about taking things any further with him. Who is the real Alex?

I sit upright with a sigh. I've gone from no love life to this complicated mess. A humourless laugh leaves my lips, and I absentmindedly start braiding my shoulder-length golden brown hair. If I ever leave this place that is. My twisted love life is probably the least of my worries.

Uneasiness fills me, the skin on my arms breaking out into gooseflesh. I feel my wolf sluggishly stir within me, trying to assess if there's a threat. I lean forward, straining my ears for any unusual sounds in this usually silent, unmoving place. My eyes scan the unchanging horizon, looking for the cause of my discomfort. I stand, not feeling safe for the first time since I arrived here. Sure, I have felt a range of emotions, from pissed off to mournful, but I've never felt scared here, just accepting of my fate. After all, I've always known that a happy ever after was never in the future for me. Slowly circling around, I come to a stop, facing the dark, dead forest, and a feeling of dread overtakes me as I stare into the trees.

Although part of me is screaming not to, I start walking slowly towards the towering trees. Something is tugging me, like I have no control over my legs and a ghostly tether is reeling me in. My wolf, feeling my fear, seems to wake up and starts to fight for control of my body to pull us away. It's no good, however, and I can feel her getting weaker the closer we get to the forest.

We reach the edge of the tree line, and I'm able to force my body to a stop as the invisible power wanes, and I strain against the imperceptible bonds that anchor my feet to the ground. The feeling of dread hits me again as I'm forced into the forest, and I get the feeling that I'm being toyed with. They allowed me to stop at the edge of the plains because they allowed me to, not because of any strength of mine. An eerie fog begins to fill the woods, twisting around the dark, almost black bark of the trees. It's cold, which is strange, as there is no weather here, nothing changes. The farther I'm pulled into the forest, the more I get the feeling that I'm being watched, but when I look, all I can see are the towering trees. I don't know how long I've been walking when a movement draws my eyes. At first, all I see is what looks like the flickering of shadow. I would have written it off as my overactive imagination if I didn't sense the malice pouring from that direction. My body comes to a stop, and I find I'm in control of myself again. A spine-tingling noise that sounds suspiciously like a howl splits the air, making my metaphorical hackles stand on end. Delving deep, I try to rouse my wolf and discover my connection with her is all but gone. I curse. Looks like I'm on my own. A thought crosses my mind that shocks me. I'm like a human, with no access to my Shadowborn powers and no wolf. In a twisted turn of fate, I got what I wished for—to be human. Stupid Ari.

The shadows flicker again, and I realise they are forming into a humanoid shape. It seems to focus on me and starts taking predatory steps in my direction. Don't ask me how a shadow can focus on someone, but this being has its sights set on me. Falling into a fighting stance, I try to remember my training from Killian—look for its weaknesses and use them against it.

The shadowy being pauses, watching me, and I can't help but feel like it's amused at my show of defence. Then a feeling of someone dragging an icy finger down my back alerts me to the arrival of another shadowy bastard. Throwing a look over my shoulder, I see that I'm right, and in unison, they step towards me with eerie synchrony.

"Join us." A hissed voice fills the air around me, coming from every direction. It's not loud, but it seems to fill the space.

I shudder, the voice reminding me of every horror movie I've ever watched. I look from one of the shadows to the other and see a third has decided to join the party. Well, that's just great. I put on what I like to think is my politest face and give them an ironic smile.

"That's very kind, but I'm going to have to say no," I reply, starting to slowly back away from the three beings.

I have no idea which direction I've come from, as they all look the same, and spinning to look at the bastards stalking me has thrown off my sense of direction .

"Join usss," the voice demands again, the tone the same but louder this time.

They're persistent, I'll give them that.

"I don't think you understood me, but I'll say it again. Hell. No ."

Way to go Ari, just piss off the ghostly guys who have seemingly led you into the middle of a haunted wood. It's difficult to tell from their expression, seeing as their faces are made of shadow, but I get the distinct impression that I've upset them. Their fluid movements become stiffer and more aggressive looking as they stride towards me.

"You can come willingly or we will make you," the voices state, making me shudder. I don't doubt that they could drag me away, despite being made of shadow. "We will feed on everything you are, every good piece of you, until only the darkness is left. We shall enjoy it, we have not fed for a long time." The united voice fills the air again, coming not from one of them, but all of them.

This doesn't sound like a fate I want. I'm starting to get pissed off now. Some bloody man is always trying to claim me or possess me, even in the fucking Shadow Realm, it's the same.

"Well joke's on you, asshole. There's nothing good left about me," I snarl with a feral grin.

If I'd hoped that the shadow figures would be put off by my show of aggression, I would've been disappointed. In fact, the feeling of malice increases, but I can't help but feel like the figure directly in front of me is amused. I stand my ground as they start to float towards me, their forms flickering in and out of shadow. My fear spikes, and I feel a pang, as I realise that neither my wolf nor my Shadowborn powers are reacting to my panic. I truly am on my own.

The first shadowy form launches itself at me, stopping my internal panic and making me focus on the fight. They are fast, faster than most shifters, and I thank my lucky stars that even though my wolf isn't responding to me, I still have my supernatural speed. Ducking the arm thrown towards my face, I counter with a punch towards its head, only for my fist to go straight through its form. Fuck! If I can't touch it, does that mean that it can't hurt me? A sharp burning sensation flares up my arm, and I glance over to see a wicked pair of talons gleaming from the hand of the second shadow, who has now joined the fight. Guess that answers that question, they seem to be able to materialise parts of themselves at will.

Now with two of them attacking me, I have to focus purely on defence, ducking and weaving the dagger like claws being aimed at me. I try to use some of the self-defence moves Killian taught me, but they are no use on someone who doesn't have a solid form.

I can't defeat these guys, not here, and not with this many of them. They only showed up once I entered the tree line, if I managed to get back, would they be able to follow me? Deciding it's better to try that than end up skewered on their talons, I start to back up. Ducking another swipe to the head, I spin on my heels and run back the way I came. They don't make a sound, but I know they're following me. I can't help but look over my shoulder to see what's happening behind me. Two of them are following me, and the one who first appeared is standing still, watching me as I run away.

I face the way I'm running, trying to throw off the sense of satisfaction that I felt from the shadow. I have to focus all of my attention on avoiding obstacles as I jump over fallen logs and duck low branches, my breath ripping out of me in harsh pants. Death by being mauled from shadow beasts is not the way I want to go.

A pulsing light catches my attention and I hurry towards it. Shining through the thick, dark branches of forest, it barely lights the area, but I see it as a beacon. Nearly sobbing in relief as I see the edge of the tree line, I hurl myself forward. Just as the light comes within touching distance, something sharp drags down my arm, a searing pain following in its wake. I can't hold back the scream that tears out of me, but I keep running, trying to keep my footsteps sure as I hurtle through the forest. I can feel my energy draining, my arm is throbbing now and I clutch it to my chest, feeling the blood run through my fingers.

The creatures behind me give a chilling howl to which is met by more howls in the distance. There are more of these things and I need to get out of here, now . The light flashes again, and I don't know if it's just my pain muddled brain, but I know I have to make it to the light. I risk a look over my shoulder and wish I hadn't, the two monsters following me are just behind me and gaining ground by the second. I throw the last of my energy into reaching the light, I can almost feel it on my face.

I make it back into the grey fields and stumble to a stop as I hear snarls and growls behind me. Turning to look, I see the two creatures, their bodies of shadow twisting and churning as if connected to their agitation. The leader lifts its arm to point at me, its sharp claw extended. The arm shudders and the creature looks like it's in pain, but it holds steady.

"This is not the end. We will have you," it hisses, and I know those words will haunt my dreams. Well, they will if I ever get back to the real world where I can actually dream.

The beacon of light that guided me out flashes brightly again and the creatures scream, finally disappearing into the trees and out of sight. I walk a few steps farther away from the trees before collapsing onto the ground, adrenaline and the pain from my wound finally winning out. I turn my arm and grimace at the sight that greets me. There are three slashes, the longest running from the top of my arm to my elbow. They aren't particularly deep, but they are seeping blood. This could be bad news for me, as I don't have anything to clean the wound and it could easily become infected. Vaguely, I wonder if it's even possible to catch an infection in the Shadow Realm and if this wound will show up on my physical body. I take the bottom of my shirt and tear it, attempting to make a makeshift dressing. Finished with my task, my attention is drawn by the light, which is now moving in my direction. I try to stand but find I don't have the energy, so I settle for frowning.

I don't think it means me harm, but as it gets closer, I can see the outline of what looks like…a man.

"Stop, don't come any closer," I demand, pleased that my voice doesn't show my exhaustion.

To my surprise, the light does as I said, and I get the impression he's amused.

"You have just made my existence all the more interesting," it says before disappearing.

What the hell is going on? A wave of exhaustion hits me, and I'm dragged under, my arm throbbing in time with my heartbeat.

I'm back at the Moon River compound again, in my corner of shadow. I don't know how I got here, but I didn't get tugged like I did last time. I passed out in the Shadow Realm, and then I was simply here. I'm alone in the room with my body and Killian. He's staring at my still form, and I can almost feel his angst and tension. He's sitting in the chair next to my corner, close enough where I could almost touch him, but I know my hand will just go through him.

"Hey man. How's it hanging?" I ask, tipping my head to him in greeting. I know he won't respond and that he can't hear me, but I need to talk to someone after my attack. "I've had a shitty day, and I never thought I would say this, but I'm glad to see you," I admit, leaning against the wall and glancing over at my body.

I frown as I do, taking in the room. My hair is longer, and I look…thinner? I turn to look at Killian and see his hair is longer too, and he also has the beginnings of a beard on his usually clean-shaven face. I have to admit that it suits him. He's also wearing different clothes, and the bed sheets have been changed.

"How long have I been gone?! I only saw you guys this morning!" I whisper shout, not sure why I'm whispering. After all, the sleeping body is me and no one can hear me anyway!

Killian suddenly stiffens in his seat, his eyes narrowing as he tilts his head back and sniffs the room, his supernatural senses picking something up. For a second, I wonder if it's me he can sense, and a thrill of hope fills me, which is quickly dashed as he stands up and hurries to my body's side. Of course, he can't sense me, I'm a shadow.

"Alex!" Killian roars, something akin to panic in his voice as he stares down at my body.

Soft murmurings from downstairs, which I hadn't even registered before, stop, followed by hurried footsteps pounding up the stairs.

"What's happening?" I hear Alex's voice before I see him, his muscled form filling the doorway, a look of concern creasing his features. His eyes narrow as he takes in the scene in the room, his nostrils widening as he also scents something.

"Is Ari okay?" Seb's voice comes from behind Alex, and I can see him trying to squeeze into the room.

Killian is crouched protectively by my body, his hand on my arm as he examines something carefully.

"She has a wound. It wasn't there before, it just appeared." His voice is tight, his words clipped. I guess that answers my question.

Swearing under his breath, Alex comes closer to my body, only to stop when Killian growls at him, his protective instincts riding high. Keeping very still, Alex glances over his shoulder at Seb, who is watching with a resigned look on his face, making me wonder how often this happens.

"Seb, grab Alpha Mortlock and Nurse Beth." His words are soft, but the command is obvious. After Seb leaves the room, he turns his attention back on the alpha wolf who's being greatly affected by the mating bond. I'd not accepted the true mated pair bond before the attack on the pack, but we had agreed to get to know one another .

We don't know why I don't experience the pull of the bond as much as Killian does, but I can't deny that I am developing feelings for him and the other others.

"Killian, I need to see Ari to be able to help her. You're not the only one who cares for her, brother." Alex's voice is still soft, but his words are firm, reminding me once again why he's pack beta.

Alex actually has the potential to be an alpha, the power flowing strongly through his veins, but he has no desire to challenge Alpha Mortlock for the position or start a pack of his own. I was also born with alpha power, not that it has ever done me any favours, having been born into a chauvinist pack.

A shift in the room brings my attention back to what's going on by the bed. Killian has moved, so he's sitting up by my head, and tension ripples through his body as he watches Alex with narrowed eyes. Alex is gently extending my arm, and the whole room erupts into growls and snarls as the wound is exposed. Seb comes into the room, looking graver than I've ever seen him. I miss my happy-go-lucky Seb.

Alpha Mortlock walks into the room, followed by Isa, his gamma, and Nurse Beth, who had been helping out with the pack before the attack. The pack is very protective, and they were wary of allowing outsiders onto pack land, so I'm glad they've allowed her to stay and help. Alpha Mortlock looks around the room before his gaze lands on my body, his face turning grave as he sees the wound on my arm.

"What happened?" he asks, coming closer to have a better look but wisely staying a respectful distance from Killian, who still looks like he may snap at any moment.

Killian tears his eyes away from my prone form and looks at the alpha, confusion and what could be pain flashing in his eyes.

"I was sitting with her when I felt like I'd been punched in the chest. Then I felt panic like I've never known before. I realised it wasn't coming from me, but from Ari. I can feel it down the bond." His eyes fall back to my body, his words rough with unshed emotions. "Then I felt this pain, a blinding pain. I didn't know what was going on until I smelled the blood coming from her. That's when I shouted for Alex," he concludes, a sort of hopelessness settling over him.

Nurse Beth approaches my body slowly, looking to Killian and Alex for permission to start examining me. They both nod and she starts a thorough examination. Seb, Alex, and a reluctant Killian leave my side to give her space. They stand by the door together, positioned so they can still see my body.

I'm blown away by this show of support. More time has obviously passed here than it has in the Shadow Realm, so this vigil that they seem to be holding both flatters and worries me. What if I can't get back? Are they going to continue to pine for me? I'm sure that Seb and Alex could move on with time. Garett would mourn me, but he has his pack and Tori would look after him. Killian, on the other hand, is worrying me. I run my eyes over him, and he doesn't look well, his skin looks pale, like he hasn't seen the sun in a really long time. The grey bags under his eyes tell me he hasn't been sleeping, and he looks like he hasn't eaten a good meal in a while. When I first found out about true mated pairs, I did some research to see if there was a way out without accepting the bond. What I found during my reading was that often, when one of the pair died, the other died as well. If the bond had been rejected, then one wouldn't die from the loss of the other but it would hurt like hell. In the one documented case where one had died and the bond hadn't been accepted or rejected, like in the case with Killian and I, the shifter had fallen into a state of madness, eternally trying to find his missing mate.

"How has your research been going? Any news?" Alex's voice brings me back to the room, his question addressed to Isa, who's shaking her head, her expression dour.

"No. No one wishes to talk of the Shadowborn." Her thickly accented words are tight with anger.

"Then make them talk," Killian growls, his eyes flashing as his wolf pushes to the surface. Alpha Mortlock takes a step closer to Killian, placing a comforting but firm hand on his arm.

"Friend, I know you are hurting, and we will do whatever we can to help Ari, she's one of us now. She proved that after what she did for the pack, to save all of you. But we don't hurt others to get answers, we will not become like the Shadow Pack."

My respect for the alpha shoots up, and I am again reminded how different he is from my old pack that I grew up in. I'm also shocked at how much I'm affected by his proclamation that I'm one of them. I've never wanted to belong to a pack and fought fiercely for my independence for years. Even when I agreed to help them, it was reluctantly, only out of my sense of duty as a nurse to help those who needed it.

Nurse Beth stands from her place at my side and walks over to where everyone is gathered, and her face is a careful mask. Uh oh, I know that look and have worn it on many occasions when I had to break bad news to a family.

"Any news for us, Beth?" Mortlock asks, although from his tone, I can tell he's expecting bad news. Beth sighs and brushes a strand of hair back behind her ear.

"I've dressed the wound. I have no idea what caused it, but it looks like she's been slashed by claws. It's oozing a substance I've never seen before," she informs the group with a sigh, before glancing back at my body. "But she's getting weaker. Whatever you're doing to get her back, we need to be quicker. Her body is dying."

I feel the familiar tug of shadow around my body as the Shadow Realm tries to claim me once again. I don't try to fight it this time, and I watch blankly as the shouting in the room begins and Nurse Beth is escorted out of the room, while the others try to calm an irate Killian down.

I stop in my tracks as I realise I'm in a vision again.

Terrifying beasts of shadow stalk along a dark tree line, their wicked talons almost reaching the ground, and even from here, I can tell they are sharp enough to cut through flesh and sinew. Although their faces are in shadow, what I can see is terrifying.

My position in the vision changes until I'm looking at Ari. I've found I have no control over what I see or even what I'm looking at, only that the vision will show me what it wants me to see. Struggling against it only makes it more difficult on my human form when I wake up.

Ari is lying back in the pale grass of what I assume is the Shadow Realm. One arm is thrown over her eyes as if she's resting, and her other arm is stretched out to the side. I wince as I see the vicious wound there. It's oozing a blackish substance, and I can see black track lines coming off the wound as it spreads through her body.

One of the beasts howls, the eerie sound inducing a reply of howls farther in the distance.

"Don't you bastards ever sleep?" Ari shouts back at them, but her voice is weak, resigned.

I awake from the vision, my head pounding, and I know from the trickle on my upper lip that my nose is bleeding again. Ignoring all of this, I grab my phone from my pocket, dialling the number I have on speed dial.

"Hello? We need to move quicker, Ari's in trouble."