Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

T he dinner party was precisely what Beth had wanted, but now that it would commence within the hour, she felt a sense of unease about it all.

It wasn’t regret, but it was certainly fear. She had invited her husband’s sisters, but the reality had quickly settled in that these were not just sisters, but duchesses. They were among the finest members of society and she was… well, she was her. Not only that, but her husband had come a long way but he was hardly one to enjoy her more proper ways. He wouldn’t be so quick to engage in her polite etiquette, especially if he was also ill at ease.

“You seem rather tense,” Adam noted, brushing her shoulder, “It wouldn’t happen to have anything to do with this evening, would it?”

“Of course it does,” she sighed, “When else will I be hosting not one but two dukes and duchesses? Not to mention their children?”

“Samantha’s children,” he corrected, “For Diana isn’t bringing hers, if you recall correctly.”

“How could I forget? It felt like a slight.”

“If it is any consolation, I do not think that was the case at all. She hates this house, and so it would be of no surprise to me if she simply did not wish to bring her children here in case they asked questions.”

“Are you quite sure? Her letter was rather cutting.”

“That is Diana. When she is angry, you will be made aware of it.”

“I do not recall her showing any towards you.”

“I had it worst of all. She gave me silence, which is a fate worse than death as far as she was concerned.”

“Except that that was precisely what you wanted, is it not?”

“In some ways.”

He seemed pained as he said it, and so Beth did not push the matter. The evening would be difficult enough as it was, and so there was no need to start it off in any other way but with a united front.

When their guests arrived, Beth gave herself one final glance in the mirror before going to the door to greet them. They were both beautiful, though one was certainly happier than the other. Diana was the picture of sophistication, everything that Beth had been raised to appear as. There was something about her that told all those there that she was in charge, and it was quite clear that she did not truly wish to be there. She greeted them stiffly before walking to the dining room herself.

“Excuse my wife,” Coling, the Duke of Abaddon, said quietly to her, “She has many bad memories of this place. She will warm to you quickly, I am certain of it.”

He hurried after his wife, and Beth watched him disappear. Then, she turned her attention to the younger sister, the happier of the two.

“It is a pleasure to meet you,” Beth smiled, and for a moment, the other lady’s face slipped into a frown.

“Yes. It is a shame that it had to take this long to do so.”

She followed after her sister, her husband giving an apologetic smile as he followed behind.

“Well,” Adam said, appearing at her side, “That is not the worst that it could have been.”

“It wasn’t exactly good though, was it?”

“It is as Colin said to you. They will calm themselves soon enough.”

Beth chose to believe her husband, even if she could not truthfully say she agreed with him.

They entered the dining room, and it felt colder than it did when it was empty. Beth took her seat, and drinks came.

Diana and Samantha drank theirs in an instant.

Beth watched them, wide-eyed. Were these two ladies not supposed to be the pinnacle of propriety?

“Can I fetch you another?” Adam asked them.

“You may as well do something for us,” Diana scoffed, and their glasses were filled once more, and subsequently emptied rapidly.

“So…” Beth said carefully, instead turning to the dukes, “My apologies, but I cannot say that I know very much about the two of you.”

“We could say the same thing about you,” The Duke of Gloryfield laughed, “My name is Graham, and you are more than welcome to refer to me as such. We are family after all.”

“Family,” Diana grumbled.

“And I am Colin,” the other duke nodded, eyeing his wife carefully, “And it is as Graham said, we are happy for you to use our given names. Speaking of which, what might yours be, again?”

“Beth,” she replied without thinking, “Beth Winston, the Countess of Colton, I mean.”

“So, it is Beth?” Graham asked.

Beth simply nodded, not wanting to tell a duke that she didn’t wish to be called that so soon.

“Your children are lovely,” she said to Graham, who seemed very proud indeed to have that said to him.

“They are wonderful, my favorite things in this world after my wife. They have impeccable manners too, though I am unsure as to where they found them.”

This was true; they were seated with the adults, and yet they were quieter than them. They ate in silence, though the eldest seemed to give an occasional look at his uncle.

“Another,” Diana said suddenly, referring to her glass, and again something was poured into it and she drank it in one fluid motion.

Adam and Samantha followed suit.

“Do they… always do this?”

“It has been a long time since they saw one another,” Colin sighed, “But yes, this is their usual routine. They cannot seem to control one another, not that we mind too terribly.”

“No, I actually find it rather entertaining,” Graham chuckled.

But Beth did not. She found it alarming; Adam never drank to that extent, and she feared the sort of man he might become when he did.

“Are the two of you truly happy for your wives to do this?”

“Why wouldn’t we be?” Graham asked, “We do the same thing from time to time at our gentlemen’s clubs, and I am here to keep a watchful eye over my children, as is their nanny. Where is the harm in it?”

“They look like they are going to attack one another at a moment’s notice!”

She muttered it under her breath, but Diana shot her a look.

“So, Beth,” she said coldly, “Where did he find you?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“The earl. He is not one for attending events, nor for being in this country at all. How did he find you?”

“Well…” she responded quietly, “He placed an ad.”

“So he bought you?”

“Not quite. He and I-”

“Do not question her,” Adam interrupted, “Should you have anything to ask, you can ask me instead.”

“I have plenty to ask you, but as you have made me wait long enough to say it, I shall leave you waiting to hear it.”

“Adam, it is alright,” Beth tried, but he held his hand up to silence her.

“I wanted a wife, and so I found one. She is a good lady, honest and kind and willing to show me all of the things that I was not taught in life. She has shown me how to navigate things in a way that, had I known before, I might not have been so hated here to begin with.”

“You were never hated.”

“I was. I could not walk into a room without the whispers beginning. They were all around me, Diana, and that is not something one can simply suffer through their entire life.”

“Is that why you abandoned us?” Diana snapped.

“I did not abandon you.”

“Yes you did.”

“You are a married lady, and you were not living anywhere close to London. It is not as though we were all living in this very household and I disappeared into the night without warning. You knew I was leaving.”

“We also expected you to write to us, even if you did not wish to return. How long have you been here with her?”

“Dearest,” Colin soothed, but his wife was not listening.

“You wished for me to address you, Adam,” she continued, furious, “So I suppose I shall. Where have you been?”

She slammed her empty glass onto the table, to such an extent that Beth feared it might shatter.

“I was in Scotland.”

“I know that. Where were you?”

“I was living the only life I have ever known that did not make me miserable. I owned a tavern, and lived a quiet life in a way that pleased me until I heard that there was someone wishing to make a claim over our family’s title. It was then that I decided to return.”

“So you did not love us enough to come back, but you hated the thought of losing your title enough to do so. Is that it?”

Beth wanted to shrink away. The children were whisked out of the room by the nanny, and Beth wished to join them in doing so, but she could not. This was her dinner party, the one that she had decided to host without consulting her husband, and now she had to witness the aftermath of that choice.

“You know that I could not stay here,” Adam said after a moment, “Not after what happened.”

“You could have. You could have stayed here until it all stopped, and it would have eventually.”

“No, it would not have. A reputation lasts a lifetime in this place, and I for one prefer the one I have elsewhere. Tell me, how is it that the very same person can be both a murderer and a wonderful man depending on where in the world he goes?”

“Nobody truly thinks that of you. Nobody ever did. Either way, you chose to leave us behind.”

“Yes, with loving husbands and children. How cruel of me. Truly, there isn’t a man in England that is worse than I, for I decided to go where I was welcomed.”

Neither sibling spoke for a moment. They stared at each other, and Beth wanted to say something, anything to make it all stop. It was dreadful sitting in amongst all of the anger they had between them, but there was nothing that she could do. It had to be bad before it could be better.

“I understand that you had to leave.” Samantha hiccuped.

She was quite clearly the drunker of the three.

“Samantha,” Diana said sharply, “Do not-”

“No, Sister, he is right,” she hiccuped again, “He was known as Father’s killer, not to mention what happened afterward. I understand that he left, and that he felt there was nothing more he could do.”

Adam breathed a sigh of relief.

“What I don’t understand, however,” she continued, “Is why you cut us off the way you did.”

“Samantha, I-”

“I wrote to you,” she whined, “For years, I wrote to you and hoped that one day you would reciprocate and do the same. You never did, but each time that I cried and my poor husband had to try and tell me to let you go, I refused. I loved you, Adam, and I still do, but you have hurt me more than Father ever did.”

At that, the table fell silent. Beth was not completely certain just how grave of an accusation that was, but from how the others looked askance, she knew that it was bad. Adam was a stubborn man, and a proud one, and she did not know how he would react to that.

He sat upright for a moment, stoic, before crumbling. He put his head in his hands, resting them on the table. She saw Samantha’s face soften, but Diana’s did not. She remained scowling, unmoved by her brother.

“I apologize,” he said gently, “I know that it was the wrong thing to do, but I didn’t know how to fix everything. I had ruined my chances here before my time had even begun, and it felt as though the two of you were happy, better off without some brute tarnishing your reputations. I thought it was better for you if I were not there at all.”

“That isn’t true and you know it.” Diana thundered.

“No, I didn’t. I might understand now, but for all of this time, I haven’t been able to see why you would like me, let alone love me. I was this- this thing, this proof that Father never saw you as anything worthy of his time, and I know that pained you every time that you looked in my direction.”

“That doesn’t mean that we didn’t love you. That doesn’t mean that we do not now.”

“But it felt that way. I look at you both and I wonder how you ever managed to make any space for me when, if I were you, I would have had unrelenting and burning hatred and nothing else.”

“Well, unlike our father, we do not give much thought to the circumstances of one’s birth. You were his son and heir, but you were our brother, Adam, and just as we thought we might finally have found something missing from our lives, you ripped yourself away again. That is what I cannot understand. You say that you thought we hated you, but is that not an act of hatred?”

“It was an act of preservation. Do you not think that I missed you for all of these years? I was a coward, and now that you are here I- I do not know what to say to make it all better again.”

Both sisters looked at their brother, eyes narrowed, and Beth stared on, mouth agape. Was that what they had come to hear for themselves– that it had been selfish all along, and that he was aware of that?

“Well,” Samantha said softly, “We are here now, and that is what matters. The rest can come in time.”

Dinner continued, but it was in a kinder way now. Beth had told Adam never to pass food himself to others, but he began serving his sisters without second thought. Beth thought to say something, but then she saw the smiles on their faces and changed her mind in an instant. It was too nice to see to have him stop, whether it was the correct way to be or not.

When they had finished, they retired to the parlor room for a drink, much to Beth’s astonishment. She had heard tales of how Scotsmen could drink, and so it was no surprise to her that Adam was capable of it, but his sisters? Were they not supposed to be the finest members of the ton?

“What is happening, Your Grace?” She asked Graham, who was watching on gleefully.

“This,” he replied, “Is my wife with her siblings. Is it not wonderful?”